|dean winchester ۶ fallen hero complex (perkynipples) wrote in dust_till_dawn,|
@ 2009-04-23 14:17:00
Dean knew staying in one place for far too long was a bad thing. Cleveland was a great city--full of amazing people that thrived in the world without so much as second guessing what lingered underneath the cities. Or in his case; he knew there was more to Cleveland than just some horrible evil that clawed at the surface. There was greater evils. Evils that no one suspected especially him. Just as he never expected that he'd technically never expect himself to align himself with one of those forces. He couldn't help it. Dangling not what he wanted the most; no. Dangling what he needed the most. He was never going to open his mouth and tell his brother what he'd done. He just knew that it'd never sit well with his little brother just as it wouldn't the woman he was seeing. Dean just knew that Cordelia wouldn't be as accepting as he wished she would be. He'd made the decision for his family's future.
But then again, that's just Dean was. Some sort of self-sacrificing man. The nature that seemed inherited in all Winchesters. But it was something that was becoming instilled with him that it was something that was wrong. He had the familiar ache of knowing that he was doing wrong by the people in his life. He was doing what he knew needed to be done if he was going to protect the people he'd invited into his life (or back into his life). There was always going to be a fear that he wouldn't be able to protect his brother. That Sammy would give into the evil destiny that was planned for him and some part of him felt helpless against it. It was too much to handle for one person. It was too much for them. He wouldn't admit it. His brother wouldn't admit it as well; but they were always in the same boat despite them saying they were 'just fine'. They never had been for a long time.
Life was becoming more and more bearable though. At least it was for Dean. Despite the fact of practically selling his soul just for possible lies focusing on the lives he wanted to protect; he was also swinging into the amazing lifestyle of someone who was staying in one place. His place, haunted yes, was still stuck right in the middle of suburban Cleveland. He hadn't told his brother and he was too afraid that it was going to be too big of an impression that he was looking for more when it came to Cordelia. Regardless of the fact that he'd taken pictures with his cell phone of the place and sent it to his woman. Something that in a real reality--he would never see himself as someone who was just keeping to one person but with Cordelia it was almost surreal. She wasn't like the other women in his life; she could keep up with the work he had to do. She could handle an axe and deal with the visions that she was plagued with.
What more could he want in life? Well, there was a lot he could want more out of life. He was afraid that he wouldn't be to feel anything for her. Sure, they had a couple good dates. Dates that were foreign to him as he'd admitted to to Cordelia over their first date. "I don't do this a lot. Or...ever." But he seemed to be good at it from the reaction he was getting from Cordy. She didn't kick him to the curb yet, patrolling had gone from going alone to walking around either right next to her. Holding hands with her. Or letting her loop her arm around him and just talking. Something he wasn't used too but he didn't really mind it. Hell, they hadn't even kissed until the second date in which he was oddly romantic in the choosing of locations. He knew it was all different then. But he wasn't going to say anything. He wasn't some campy romantic. If he did feel something for her in the future that resembled anything like he used to when Cassie? Then she would know. Some part of him was glad that she wasn't in the same category of his old flame. There was going to be no expectations of failure nor of being something he wasn't. She knew how he worked. It was a load off Dean's back that he longed for over everything else.
He did this for her too. Not directly but he knew if he had something behind him--he'd hope that further down the line aligning himself with Wolfram and Hart. He would be strong enough to keep her safe no matter what came along their path. Even if he was betraying his morals he still would stay in with his contract. He was now a worker drone for the people who pulled more strings than he could count. Dean got the idea of that when they had referred him to some doctor to invest more into their newest investment. Now he had to deal with field tests and physical exams for a while. Endurance testing before he was allowed to come back to his place and chill out for a bit. Something that Dean was getting used to being watched while he kicked some random demon's ass while they had him in some training room. He went in usually when he wasn't with Cordelia which was a rare moment as of late. Luckily he was good at hiding things--this was the same as anything else. But it hurt as much as it did when he was lying to Sam. The two people he did care about.
The place he moved to didn't have the homeliness that it should have had. Sure, he was primarily focusing on hunting rather than anything else. It was more provided by the people he worked for than anything else. It just had its random pluses such as the spirits that occupied it. Something that Dean got a kick out of--despite the fact that he hated the lights flickering and childish giggles during the night. It was interesting nonetheless. The eldest of the Winchester brothers had invited his little brother over just for some talking to each other. He just needed to know that he didn't do something incredibly stupid by just agreeing to something he shouldn't have. Dean had fixed it up to the point where he had some sort of training room in the basement where he beat up inanimate objects. Dean had just finished--practically killing the bag he'd set up before rubbing the back of his neck and calling his little brother. "You didn't get lost, did you Sammy?" He chuckled, climbing up the stairs before shutting the basement door behind him, rubbing the back of his neck. "Last house on the left. Just look for the Amittyville Horror looking place." His face lit up with a grin as he went to grab a bottle of water.
Dean could deal with lying as he hung up the phone and hung it back on its place before sitting up on the counter while he waited for his little brother to come around. When his brother got there, he was almost right at the door in split seconds before opening the door. "Hey, man, long time no see." Which was true. It had been a while since they spoke but that didn't matter right now as he invited him in before shutting he door behind the both of them.