WHO: Caty Norfolk and Elias Salazar WHEN: Evening of January 10 WHERE: Caty's apartment SUMMARY: Caty and Elias enjoy birthday cupcakes on their first date and they have a conversation about pasts. WARNINGS: Discussion of an abusive relationship
It was astounding, Caty thought, how much one person and a few words could change her entire outlook on something like celebrating her own birthday. Where she had initially planned on calling Jeb to ask for an additional shift that day, she had instead gone to treat herself to a manicure and pedicure for the first time in years and then spent the afternoon working on enrolling in her classes that would begin in February (a fact sheâd been keeping mostly to herself), and watching the BBC version of Pride and Prejudice that sheâd found on clearance. It had been a day entirely devoted to pampering herself and Caty honestly couldnât remember the last time sheâd actually allowed herself to do that.
And then Elias had shown up to take her to dinner and it had been possibly been the absolute best birthday celebration sheâd had since the last one sheâd had with her parents. Elias had a way of making her see a lot of things differently, in ways that she hadnât thought she was capable of anymore. She hadnât been looking for him, hadnât anticipated or even thought she would have wanted to find him, but she was glad that her car had known better than she did where sheâd needed to be.
Now, as Caty sat cross-legged on her couch, knee unapologetically resting against Eliasâ thigh as she ate the last bite of her birthday cupcake--half spice cake with cream cheese frosting, half dark chocolate with peanut butter. âYou know,â she said, licking the peanut butter from her thumb, âI think I could stand turning twenty-six, again, if it meant getting to repeat today.â
Elias grinned at Caty's words, conscious of not looking too crazed or excited. When he'd brought her birthday up again, he had been terrified that he might say the wrong thing or make her feel uncomfortable. While he wasn't sure if what he'd ended up saying really was right, it had been right enough for Caty and her opinion was the one that mattered most to him. To know that she'd had a good day, especially after being so apprehensive to let herself enjoy it at all, meant a lot to him; he may have only been there for the later parts, but he liked to think that counted, too.
"I'm glad to hear it," he admitted, pausing in devouring his own halves of the birthday cupcake. He only had the smallest of bites of each flavor--a fact that amused Caty as in contrasted against her own inhalation of them--savoring them as though he couldn't just go to the bakery and buy two more if he wanted to. Those would just be cupcakes, though. These were Caty's birthday cupcakes. "I had to do a press conference on my twenty-sixth," he added, scrunching his nose up in distaste. "But my brother and sister did a good job making me not focus on work the day after, so it wasn't all lost."
âYou know, I know youâve told me what you do, and what that sometimes entails, but itâs still hard to imagine you doing a press conference. Mostly just because, when I think of you, itâs you exactly as you are right now. Men at press conferences are always so stiff and, I donât know, on,â Caty replied, though it wasnât entirely on topic. âI like that I canât picture you as one of them, though,â she said.
Elias gave a small smile, shrugging one of his shoulders. "I like that you can't picture me that way, too." It wasn't that he became a completely different person when he was in front of the media; in fact, he prided himself on keeping some of his personality, even as he read off a prepared statement. But sometimes he wondered if that's who people really thought he was.
Eyeing Eliasâ unfinished cupcakes, Caty had the sudden urge to distract him long enough to scoop up a dab of icing from each one with her finger for herself and had lifted her hand to do just that before she thought better of it and let her hand fall back to her lap. As easy as it was being near Elias, and as much as he had helped her enjoy her birthday, there were some things so deeply ingrained in her that they were hard to let go. Like not touching things that didnât belong to her. âWhat did the three of you do the day after?â she asked, instead.
He caught the motion of her hand, both as it raised and then dropped back into her lap. Holding out what remained of the chocolate and peanut butter cupcake toward her, and she hesitantly took a bit of the frosting as he answered, "We went to my favorite restaurant. It's this sort of hole in the wall place that had the best Venezuelan food. It's actually authentic. Mom would always make my favorites for my birthday and this was sort of the next best thing." He swiped a bit of the frosting off the spice cake and ate it off the tip of his finger before continuing, "Afterwards we went and saw a movie. I can't even remember what it was, honestly. It was a good night, though."
Caty tilted her head to the side as a smile split across her features. âOh, I love that, Eli. And I love how close you seem to be with your siblings.â She set her own empty plate on the coffee table and then leaned back against the back of the sofa as her look turned more contemplative. âI think my favorite birthday was the year I turned eighteen. I actually spent it in the emergency room,â she said, turning her head to look at Elias, her eyebrows raised. âI slipped on the stairs that morning and sprained my wrist really bad, but we thought Iâd broken it. So my parents went to the gift shop at the hospital and got a package of those little mini donuts? And they stacked them on a paper plate and decorated them with fruit from one of those fruit cups and they presented it to me right there in this sterile temporary room while singing me happy birthday.â Her smile had turned wistful and she glanced down at her hands resting in her lap. âItâs one of those memories that shouldnât be that great but makes you smile when you think of it. I think this birthday is going to be right up there with it, but minus the âshouldnât have been greatâ part.â
Though he finished off his cupcakes as she told the story, there was something about the way Elias kept his gaze and attention on her that made it clear that he wasn't distracted and was focused on every word Caty was saying. In fact, he smiled fondly as she finished speaking, liking that he knew her better with just that one story. "I think that I can understand that," he said, abandoning his own plate on the coffee table before leaning back into the couch. His hands folded in his lap, while he looked at Caty. "Sometimes it can feel like something is going all wrong, but just one little thing from someone you care about can make it feel all right."
âI almost called them this morning,â Caty replied, âbut that birthday was the last one I celebrated with them and I wasnât sure how theyâd take hearing from me.â
That was unexpected and it showed in the way Elias's eyebrows shot up. "Really?" he asked. He knew that she had been leaving Boston for good, but it hadn't occurred to him that it could mean her relationship with her parents wasn't a good one. It seemed like something he should have thought of, in retrospect; he knew all about the range of relationships a child could have with their parents. "I didn't realize."
Caty shrugged as if it was less of a thing than it actually felt. âI donât really talk about them. We, um, kind of had a falling out? We were still talking on my nineteenth birthday, but I was dating Jeffrey then and he insisted that I spend it with him which didnât seem weird and possessive at the time. By the time my twentieth rolled around, we were married and my parents and I were no longer on speaking terms.â
Elias's expression grew a bit concerned, letting this information stack up with everything else he already knew about Caty and her past. "I see," he started, trying to decide how best to navigate the conversation forward. It wasn't so much that he felt as though he had to tiptoe around her to avoid stepping on toes, but just that he didn't want her to feel pressured to tell him anything she wasn't ready to tell. "I'm sorry to hear that. Can I ask what happened?"
âOf course you can,â Caty nodded. She hadnât been hiding anything about her past, as much as she wanted to pretend like it didnât exist, so it didnât necessarily bother her to talk about it. Her biggest concern was that she would say something that would drive Elias away, but she knew the kind of draw she had toward him and figured it was better to know now if that was going to happen. But maybe he wouldnât be driven away, and that would speak volumes more than even perfect birthdays. âMy parents hated Jeffrey. They tried to pretend like they didnât the first couple of times we were all together, but when I told them we were engaged, they finally told me just how much they did. But, you know, I was eighteen and stupid and thought I knew better than they did what I needed in my life. So they finally gave me an ultimatum: go through with the marriage, or them. I chose Jeffrey which probably wasnât the first major mistake I made in my life, but definitely the one I regret the most. Anyway, I tried to call their bluff, but they werenât bluffing. They didnât come to the wedding because they couldnât support it and, after that, he never let me reach out to them to try and make amends. At this point, it feels like itâs been too long to ask for forgiveness.â
Listening quietly, Elias found himself wishing that there was more that he could do than just listen. She didn't seem to have any trouble telling him, though, which meant more to him than he really knew how to put into words, so he considered that maybe there really wasn't more she needed than his simply listening. He turned on the couch just a bit, facing her a bit more fully. Once she was done speaking, he said quietly, "That must have been really hard to go through."
Caty picked at her thumbnail, which she realized too late was a bad idea because she was ruining her manicure. With a sigh, she forced herself to stop doing it, moving her hands beneath her legs, instead. âIt was easier not to think about what Iâd lost that first year,â she started. âI think itâs important to acknowledge the fact that I did love him and, for awhile, I really thought he loved me, too. That first year was everything I thought a marriage was supposed to be, or at least I thought it was while I was in it. I think, looking back, I can see how wrong it all was from the beginning, but when I was in it, it took me longer to see it.â
It surprised Caty just how easy it was to talk about the whole thing and maybe that was because sheâd been so distant from it even before sheâd successfully escaped the situation. Regardless of the reasons why, she found it effortless to keep going, to keep telling Elias everything she could both because she wanted him to know her, and because it felt imperative that she be completely transparent with him. âYou told me youâve seen the show that corresponds with my dreams, right? And I told you that Jeffrey and Joffrey werenât very different, except that Jeffrey didnât exactly have the same sort of immunity or opportunity for his cruelty. He never laid a hand on me, just as Joffrey, so far as I know, hasnât laid a hand on Sansa himself. But I felt as trapped as Sansa does, and I think both of us wish we hadnât taken our parents for granted. I donât know if sheâll ever escape him the way I left Jeffrey, but if marrying him was my greatest regret, finding the strength to leave him was by far my greatest accomplishment, even if Iâm still trying to escape the person I was when I was with him.â
Elias was incredibly familiar with Game of Thrones, and the book series that it originated from. Despite being a man who had a very difficult time forgetting about work, he was also one that didn't sleep very much. That left plenty of time to work, watch television and movies, or both. He was starting to regret that now, despite how innocent it might have been; he was far too familiar with far too many people's alternate lives, his own included in that number.
But that did mean that he really was familiar with Joffrey. He had been one of those characters that he, as well as anyone else he knew that had watched the show, loved to hate and had been relatively pleased to see the demise of, as ugly of a feeling as that might have felt in the moment. To think that Caty's ex-husband had been close enough to Joffrey outside of their similar name that she could draw a connection to them both -- well, it was concerning. The mental anguish that Joffrey had put Sansa through was hard enough to watch on screen; it made his heart downright ache to think of someone doing the same to Caty. The fact that she was able to get out of that situation, he thought, was definitely worthy of being her greatest accomplishment.
"I know you don't need my validation," he started, his right hand idly rubbing the wrist of his left, "but I'm proud of you for finding that strength. That's something worth celebrating."
Caty smiled, then, even though the conversation may not have been the sort that warranted a smile. She looked up at Elias and nodded, tentatively at first and then with more intent. âYouâre right. It is something worth celebrating. And thatâs why Iâm glad you managed to talk me into doing all of this today,â she said, gesturing between them and the empty plates that once held birthday cupcakes. âHe tried to take away my joy and itâs,â she hesitated, searching for the right words, biting down on her bottom lip as she though. âItâs freeing to know that the joy is very much still there. So thank you, sincerely, for caring enough to help me find a piece of it.â
Elias met her smile with one of his own. "It was my pleasure, really," he replied, his hands stilling in his lap once more. His smile toned down as he continued, "Especially knowing now how much it means to you. I'm glad that I was nosy in this circumstance."
Without letting herself overthink it, Caty pulled one of her hands from its hiding place beneath her leg and reached out to slip it into one of his. âThis is me officially giving you permission to be nosy,â she said. âWhatever you want to know, just ask me, and Iâll either tell you, or let you know that Iâm not ready to. I wasnât joking when I said that I really want you to know me.â
Doing his best to ignore the little tingle that he felt as his fingers touched his, Elias let his hand turn and curl into hers. "That means a lot to me," he said, a bit of honesty before he teased, "I can be very nosy sometimes." It wasn't so much that he was nosy as he liked knowing the people that he cared about and Caty had easily, and almost without him realizing it, become someone that he cared about. It hadn't been his intention when he'd pulled over on the side of the road to help her with her car, nor had it been when he made a habit of stopping into Grandma's, both for food and to check up on her. His living in Dunhaven had been because he wanted to be close to Annie, while also in driving distance of work; meeting someone like Caty had been very unexpected, indeed.
"And I hope it goes without saying that I really do want you to know me, too." His fingers squeezed gently around hers, just a bit of pressure to punctuate the statement. Elias had always been fairly forthright and honest with her and that wasn't going to change. "I'm an open book."
Caty thought for a moment and then, with a mischievous glint in her eyes, she said, âOkay, then you tell me about your worst relationship. Then weâll be even.â She kept the smile on her face to make sure he knew that the request was meant to be a lighthearted one. She wasnât sure what else was in his past besides what she already knew, but she wanted to make sure that he knew she was here for whatever he wanted to tell her, whether it was similar to her own story, or more comedic in nature. She had no expectations for what she wanted from him, or what he had to give her, she just wanted whatever it was he was willing to let her have.
"Oh god," Elias said, then immediately laughed. It was a good-natured laugh, without any of the nervousness that a question like that might have given him from someone else. "My relationship history is... well, it's not really complicated," he started by way of warning. "But I was fourteen when I graduated high school and I didn't really spend much time with people my own age after that, outside of my siblings. I didn't have your typical high school romances, because all of my peers were your more typically college-aged adults and I, you know, wasn't."
He found himself relaxing back into the couch as he spoke, his thumb brushing over Caty's as though holding her hand was the most natural, normal thing in the world, which it absolutely felt like it was. "I didn't actually go on my first date until I was in grad school. I was nineteen and I had absolutely no idea what I was doing. The fact she even agreed to the date was a miracle, because I tripped all over my words, but she did." He paused to chuckle, shaking his head once. "But the date itself was a disaster. I knocked her water into her lap. I knocked the bread bowl off the table. I turned at the wrong time and tripped a waiter, who dropped a whole tray of food that splashed onto her shoes and skirt. To her credit, she was a good sport about it, but... there was no date two."
Meeting Caty's gaze again, he shrugged one of his shoulders. "I promise that I have dated since that first date, though. It's been harder in the last few years, though, which is saying something given my rough start of it."
Snorting, Caty conceded, âOkay, yeah, thatâs pretty awful. But she should have given you points for the free comedy show!â She was still laughing over the mental image of a younger Elias fumbling his way through a first date as he continued. Wiping at her eyes with her unoccupied hand, she asked, âWhy harder?â Her first thought was that perhaps it was to do with the loss of his mom which, she decided, was more than enough reason for other parts of oneâs life to become more difficult. She wasnât sure that was what he meant, though, so it seemed worth asking.
"It turns out that putting your name on an idea that ends up being a massively successful company is a good way to get attention," Elias said, releasing a sigh. He didn't say things like that often, preferring to just refer to his company as that: his company. Having come from a humble enough start, it felt strange talking about his success and the wealth that was tied to it in any capacity. In this case, though, it was directly linked to the conversation.
"Anyway," he continued, looking a bit embarrassed, "it took me some time to learn the difference between people who were interested in me and people who were interested in my last name or bank account."
Caty couldnât relate to Eliasâ situation. She supposed there was only a small percentage of the population who really could. Even still, she could at least imagine how difficult that might be, not being able to immediately trust someoneâs intentions if only because that part of it was relatable. And yet here they both were, seemingly trusting in what the other wanted from them. âIf theyâd met this Elias, they wouldnât be interested in what business Elias had to offer,â she said, âbecause whatâs behind door number one is too good for there to be anything remotely better behind door number two.â Elias smiled, the sheepishness draining from his face.
She sat up a little straighter, then, shifting closer to him without really intending to do so. âWhat about me? Do I get date two?â
Elias feigned a thoughtful look, as though it were something he really needed to think over. "Hmm, wellâŠ" he started, then a smile immediately split his face. "I was hoping so, if you'd do me the honor."
Catyâs mouth fell open in mock offense. Pulling her hand back just enough, she entwined her fingers with Eliasâ, though, making it clear that she hadnât been offended,at all. âPersonally, I would really like to have date two,â she replied, the corners of her mouth twitching upward, âbut if youâre just not feeling itâŠâ She let the words trail off. Two could play at that game.
Elias bit down on his lip, trying to hide his amusement as they teased. It was pretty hard to do; he could reign it in when he was in front of cameras, but his acting skills were less than great on the regular, especially when around people he liked that he got to be himself around. "I just can't promise that I won't elbow my drink and have it somehow spill into your food," he said, raising his eyebrows as though this was a very serious warning. "If you're willing to look the other way and still consider a third date afterward..." He tipped his head to the side, letting his own words trail.
Shrugging, Caty said, âIâm pretty sure itâs not a good second date if youâre not comfortable enough to spill my food and drink in front of me. But the third date is the one where I trip over my own feet and we spend the next five hours in the ER. Do you really think youâve got it in your heart to bring me donuts, hold my hand, and ask for the fourth one?â
Not even bothering to pretend to have to think about it first, Elias simply smiled. "Yep. I would bring you all of the donuts, hold your hand as long as you wanted, and absolutely ask you on a fourth one." It was a sweet sentiment, that he immediately followed up with, "Even if I'll probably come down with a stomach bug in the middle of that one and throw up on your shoes."
âI didnât like those shoes, anyway,â Caty replied without missing a beat. âSo I guess, for the fifth one, weâll just have to stay in so that I can go barefoot, right?â
"Seems reasonable," Elias agreed, nodding once. "Especially since I fully expect these dates to happen in quick enough succession that it will definitely not be warm enough outside for you to go barefoot. In fact, there will probably be a blizzard and we'll end up snowed in for days."
Holding their hands up, Caty pressed her cheek to them. She paused only for a moment before saying, âAsk me if I mind.â Because she didnât mind, not at all. As much as she knew that, in general, she needed to be more cautious of other people, especially when she had to depend on her own judgment, she couldnât find it in her to be concerned about the draw she felt toward Elias. Maybe sheâd lived long enough with the wrong sort to more easily know the right sort when she met it. âGo on.â
Elias's eyes flitted once to where their hands were joined, pressing to her cheek, and he smiled. His thumb moved, grazing just once over her cheekbone before he looked back to her eyes. "Do you mind?"
Caty chewed at the inside of her cheek while she waited for him to ask and, when he did, her answer came almost too quickly. âNot even a little,â she replied quietly.
"Me neither." Elias's voice was just as quiet as hers, mimicking her tone as his thumb caressed her cheekbone once more. He'd never thought that he'd get to touch her like that and he felt decidedly humbled that she'd placed their joined hands there in the first place. Anything that Caty allowed, from this date to their conversation to just holding his hand, meant more to him than he could have predicted.
"I don't -- " He stopped, considering his words for a moment, then tried again. "I don't want to ask for more than I should or be presumptuous, but... can I kiss you?"
That, Caty decided, was why she wasnât worried about Elias. From the moment heâd found her on the side of the road, he hadnât asked her for more than she was willing to give. Heâd been kind and mindful even before heâd known her name and here he was continuing that trend. She hadnât expected to find something new, something better than what sheâd had back in Boston. Her thoughts had been completely full of just getting out and thereâd been no room to think about what the future could look like, or to have hope that maybe one day sheâd meet someone who actually deserved what was in her heart to give.
But here they were and all Caty knew was that Elias made her want to try again, made her want to find out if there was another chance for her. With much further ado, Caty nodded, her breath catching in anticipation. âYes. Yes, you absolutely can.â
Part of Elias had been convinced that she might say no. It was the part of him that had never quite caught up with the rest of him, had always reminded him of his inadequacies. In the best of times, he could use that part of him as fuel to do better, to be better, to create better things. In the worst of times, it was a detriment, holding him back. Right now, though, it was proven wrong altogether as she said yes.
Elias shifted forward slowly, moving his hand from hers to allow his palm and fingers to cup her jaw gently. As he drew closer, he hesitated when they were only a breath apart, giving her a chance to change her mind. She didn't, though; somehow this amazing woman wanted him to kiss her. And, with those thoughts in mind, he leaned forward and did, letting his lips meet hers.