WHO: Elias Salazar WHEN: December 11, late night WHERE: His bedroom SUMMARY: When a dream leaves him feeling emotions that strike far too close to home for Elias, he struggles with separating himself from Tony. WARNINGS: Parental loss
Tony Stark woke with a rush, moving from where he had been lying at a gentle curve on his side with his head resting on a soft pillow to sitting straight up and arching his right arm and fist through the air at nothing in barely enough time to take a breath. When his hand made contact with nothing and fell ineffectually to the blankets, it took a few frustratingly slow moments for the thought to dawn on him that he wasn't Tony Stark.
Tipping his head forward, he looked down at the open palm of his hand. It was bare, not covered in the suit that had made him Iron Man. His torso was likewise bare, with only a scar on his chest that seemed to eerily mirror the Arc Reactor in the suit. His legs were covered in blankets and sheets. His dog was sleeping soundly in the space next to him. He was home -- or, at least, in the place that would be his home for a short while more, as his house became ready for him to move into. It was home, though, and not a Hydra facility in Siberia. He was Elias Salazar, not Tony Stark. He was alone, not standing with Steve Rogers and Bucky Barnes. He had been sleeping, not watching footage of the deaths of Howard and Maria Stark.
Despite that knowledge and the logic that Elias's mind tried to cling to on a regular basis, he felt the anger and heat rise up in him as his emotions threatened to rock out of control. He watched as his hand curled into a fist once more, almost without his permission.
In the months that he had spent in Dunhaven, Elias had lived through much of Tony's past, especially those earliest of years. He recalled the treatment that he had received from his father, often felt cold and aloof. It was different with his mother, though. They had been close and there had been no doubt in his mind that she loved him. In many ways, Elias found himself able to relate. There had been no love between him and his step-father; the reasons had been different, he was sure, than Tony and Howard Stark, but their relationship was nonetheless lacking. His biological father had been an unknown entity until five months ago, but he had remained much the same in that time. His mother, though? Perhaps he had learned of some parts of her history that she may not have been proud of, but it didn't negate the twenty-four years of unconditional love and support she had showered upon him.
Knowing that there may have been tension between Tony and his father had made watching the scene play out no easier. He had still mourned his father, both for the man he was and the father that he had hoped he may still be able to have a relationship with and make proud. That opportunity had been ripped from him and for so many years he had assumed it had been because of a simple car accident. It hadn't been. Their deaths had been at the hands of the man that Tony had been prepared to make some sort of peace with.
Again, Elias felt the anger and sorrow rush through him like a crashing wave. It pushed him to his feet, abandoning his bed to stagger across the floor and toward the adjoining bathroom. He blinked as the light came on and he stared at his reflection, his jaw tense and his eyebrows what his younger sister would have called grumpy. He needed the mirror, because at that moment the emotions of Tony Stark were so real, so visceral… and he needed the physical reminder that he was not him.
Elias had watched the movies. He had full knowledge of what was to come in the future for Tony Stark, as well as the parts of his past that filled in the holes that his dreams might not have yet. When he had watched that particular movie, he had largely disagreed with Tony's motives, despite being able to understand the pain that fueled his actions near the end. His mother had not yet passed during that initial viewing, but her cancer was progressing and they all knew she was on borrowed time. There was no Winter Soldier that had interfered with the loss of Vanessa Nichols, but Elias was intimately familiar with the pain that was the loss of a parent. He didn't know if he would have reacted much differently in that moment. It was a realization that sent a shiver of fear down his spine.
He wasn't Tony Stark, though. He wasn't.
He was Elias Salazar. He would take the gift of Tony's learned intelligence. He would take the odd similarities and coincidences that made him feel closer to the man than he might have ever felt prior to that first memory. But he would not take this rage. He would not take this pain. He'd had enough of that already.