WHO: Evan Meadows → Inej Ghafa WHEN: Afternoon of December 9 WHERE: University of Dunhaven, specifically the dressing area by the stage SUMMARY: While waiting for her call for the Nutcracker, Evan remembers Inej's first brush with Kaz Brekker. WARNINGS: The memory takes place in a brothel and while there is nothing explicit, there are hints of the sort of work that's done there and poor treatment.
Standing in front of the mirror of her station in the dressing area, Evan let her shoulders roll as her feet gracefully and almost automatically moved back and forth between first position and second. There were other dancers around her, all doing stretches or applying the finishing touches to their makeup and hair as they waited for their call onto stage. The ballet had only just started, meaning there was still plenty of time to prepare before the children were done getting their presents and the Nutcracker himself came to life to protect Clara. It was a chaotic space, but Evan hardly noticed any of it as she indulged herself in steadying breathing and cleared her mind.
Her reflection was almost unrecognizable. Much of that was thanks to the amount of stage makeup that was needed in general thanks to the lights, but given that Evan wore little makeup on a normal day, it earned a double take from her whenever she glimpsed herself in a reflective surface. Her hair was up in a tight twist, then adorned with a tiara that sparkled in much the same way the embellishments that lined her tutu did. For a young woman who normally dressed for comfort, it was a Look, but Evan had been involved in ballet long enough to be used to it. For as ridiculous as she felt standing there in the tutu that jutted out at her hips at an extreme angle, she knew just how striking it would look as she spun and leapt around the Land of Sweets.
Though she was used to it, there was an unease in Evan's chest that she couldn't quite explain as she peered at her made up face and silks -- no. Not silks. There were also no bracelets on her wrists or bells at her ankles either, yet it felt like there should have been. Her shoulders were bare, but she could almost see the purple spots painted on them to complete the look of a Suli lynx.
As Evan's feet stilled and she fought a shiver, she was suddenly not Evan at all. Now she was Inej Ghafa, standing in the parlor of the Menagerie in silks, dark kohl outlining her eyes, and the purple spots on her shoulders. It had been a month since she had been allowed down there, though she wasn't certain if it was a good or bad thing. Being in golden chains as punishment for her attempt of escape had been demoralizing, but so was attempting to entice clients to bring Tante Heleen more riches. In the end, everything about being tied unwillingly to the Menagerie was terrible.
But for as brief a taste it had been, Evan couldn't get freedom off of her mind. She had only sprinted two blocks from the Menagerie before she had been dragged back to the establishment, but it had been the most free she had felt since just before she had been taken, blissfully unaware of the horrors that life could give. Though she wouldn't dare run again as she knew better than to doubt or assume Tante Heleen's threats to have her thrown into Hellgate were anything less than serious, there were other things she wished for. Her parents, for example. They couldn't come save her, but they must have been worried for her. Perhaps she could get a letter to them, if only to lie and tell them she was safe. She would never be able to just send a letter like that, though. She had no money for the postage, for one thing. For another, she doubted Tante Heleen or her bruisers would entertain the thought.
Which was why Inej was waiting in this particular alcove. Like every other girl there, she had seen Kaz Brekker enter the Menagerie. He had walked by them all, paying none of them mind as he leaned on his cane and disappeared into Tante Heleen's salon. For as new as she was to Ketterdam, she had been in the city long enough to hear the whispers about Dirtyhands. She knew his reputation and the rumors of all the awful things he had done. But, she also knew that he dealt in information; he didn't come to the Menagerie for the girls, but to trade in knowledge. It was why Inej had been instructed to report on anything that she overheard or was told by clients -- so Tante Heleen could, in turn, make a profit.
Inej had overheard some information earlier just that day regarding the silk trade and had kept it to herself. Though it would be a risk of a meager trade, she hoped that the boy -- because that's what he was in the end, regardless of whatever deeds he may or may not have committed in his past -- would take some measure of pity and make that trade.
The door to Tante Heleen's salon opened and Inej watched as Kaz Brekker slipped out. He wore the same stony expression that he'd worn when he'd walked in, betraying not a single emotion. She kept her position, willing herself silent until he passed directly in front of her.
"I can help you."
The words came out as a whisper, but he had heard. Though he didn't stop and he didn't say anything at all, Inej saw the glance that he spared her. For a second, she allowed hope to bloom in her chest. And then, he continued on his way, as though she'd been as silent as she'd been trying to be.
In the next moment, Inej was once again Evan, staring at the eyeliner that circled her eyes to make them stand out more prominently. She was no longer in the Menagerie, surrounded by Kaelish mares or Zemeni fawns, but was in the dressing area with her fellow dancers. She was once more waiting for her call, rather than gambling all of her hopes on Kaz Brekker.
Kaz Brekker.
Evan's thoughts lingered on the name. It wasn't hard to conjure up a picture of him in her mind, from the cane with the crow's head to his short, dark hair and pale skin. And though she knew there was no reason for her to recognize the boy, just as she didn't know any of the others that featured in Inej's dreams, there was a curious part of her mind that felt as though she was missing something. It was as though Kaz Brekker wasn't just another face in the memories of Inej Ghafa, but someone that mattered, someone that was real.
But that was ridiculous… wasn't it?
Shaking her head, as though trying to physically dislodge the thought, Evan returned to her stretching. Later she could dwell on Inej and her predicament. For now, she had a different part to play.