WHO: Liam Perkins WHEN: Evening of October 16 WHERE: The field behind the Perkins farmhouse SUMMARY: Liam goes to spend some quality time with the horses and reflects on some revelations and dreams. WARNINGS: None
The sun was starting to dip toward the horizon, leaving behind an evening chill that left Liam happy for his thick flannel that made up the majority of his wardrobe. Climbing and then hopping over the fence that surrounded the expanse of field that could be called his backyard, his work boots made a soft thud on impact with the ground, the grass flat in that very spot from day after day of the exact same move. With the setting sun casting a watercolor of oranges and reds in the background, he could see the silhouette of two horses.
Liam's long legs made quick work of crossing the field, but it wasn't until he closed half the distance that the horses made any notice of him. It was Clyde, though, that started to amble in his direction. It usually was, with Bonnie hanging back until her husband -- at least, that was what his grandmother had always called them -- had gotten his fill of attention from Liam.
"Hey there, trouble," Liam greeted, reaching out a hand to give Clyde a gentle pat. He let out a huff, almost as if responding, and it brought a genuine smile to Liam's face, one of the few he'd expressed in the past handful of days.
Liam couldn't forget about his dreams and just how they intertwined with those of the people he loved most, but in the days since Lavender had made her confession about Lily Potter on the network, it had been impossible for him to focus on much else. His nightly dreams had all focused on Peter's life, each imprinting so deeply on his mind that they felt like memories that would haunt him throughout the day as he tried to go about his normal life. None of the dreams focused on that particularly trying time that troubled him most; in fact, had he not been as familiar with the books about that world as he was, he might not have had reason to worry at all. But, he did. Worrying seemed like the only answer.
It would have been easier for Liam to brush them off if it weren't for the connection that he felt with the boy. The fact he felt any connection at all was reason enough to worry, but he couldn't deny it. He understood what it felt to struggle with his classwork to the point of being terrified if a teacher would call on him. He recognized the struggle of accepting that he would need a tutor if he wanted to achieve the grades he needed. He remembered what it felt like to not feel as though he completely fit in with his peers, with the exception of his closest friends that made going to school bearable. He knew what it was to have assumptions made based on his appearance or the company he kept.
What he couldn't understand, though, was how this boy could grow into the man that would one day betray his friends.
As Liam circled around Clyde as Bonnie clopped forward, ready for her own petting, his thoughts meandered toward his own friends. He thought of the responses they made on Lavender's announcement. Remi and Remus. Lyra and Sirius. Lavender and Lily. Jack and Harry.
Liam and Peter.
With his hand still resting on Bonnie's side, Liam's eyes fluttered shut and he drew in a deep breath. How was it that he was Peter? What had he done to make him the friend that would betray all of the others, leading to deaths and imprisonments? Was there something he might still do that would reveal it all? Would his friends -- his cousin -- still want anything to do with him if they knew? He had lied when Lavender had asked about his own dreams, an action that felt even more despicable than his misfortune of having the dreams themselves. Could a lie like that be forgiven?
Opening his eyes, Liam turned away from the sun and looked back toward the barns and the farmhouse. He hadn't yet talked to Avery about any of this -- a mistake and he knew it. She was the person who brought him immediate calm. She was his rock, his home. Yet, the same worries trickled through his mind at the very prospect of approaching the topic with her. Would she be able to look at him the same way if she knew there was some part of him that was tied to what was ostensibly a villain in a work of fiction? Would she even understand the dreams at all, even if half the town seemed to be plagued with them, too? Though he thought he knew the answer and he didn't doubt his wife's love for him, there was still that nagging feeling that half left him quiet.
Maybe, he thought, there was another connection between himself and Peter Pettigrew. Maybe they were both cowards.
Closing his eyes once more for a moment, willing his thoughts to calm and focus on the here and now, Liam took a long breath before looking back to the horses. His thoughts didn't clear, but he could at least make himself focus, for now. "All right, lovebirds. Time for dinner."