WHO: Emilia Lyon and Kiera Malone WHEN: Backdated to the night of September 15 WHERE: Malone apartment, in Kiera's bedroom SUMMARY: Confessions are made, kisses are shared. WARNINGS: None
When Emilia had first moved to Dunhaven, it had been with the intention to escape too many things in London that reminded her of what had felt like the worst part of her life. She’d done a good job pretending like her reasons were motivated by something more noble like reconnecting with her sister, or seeing new places, or making new friends, but it had become apparent from the first positive pregnancy test that she had done a better job of being in denial than she had in actually leaving her past behind. The first several weeks after that night at Gio’s place had been the hardest and Emilia hadn’t been entirely sure she’d ever fully recover from the betrayal or the way that betrayal had shattered the heart she’d once thought invulnerable.
Being in Dunhaven, though, found Emilia in a much better place than she’d been on the day she’d flown in for what had been meant as a family vacation. Each day was better than the one that came before it and, even though there was still the issue of the child growing inside of her, she felt more prepared for its future and what it would and wouldn’t mean for her. She had her sister and Eli to thank for that part--both had played an integral role in helping her come to terms with and feel more confident about her situation.
And then there was Kiera. Emilia had not expected who Kiera could potentially become in her life. The bond between them was inexplicable and, at first, she had been sure that Kiera was meant to become the best friend she had never had. Between midnight dips in the lake, near daily meetups over one (or three) shared plates of cheese fries (and the sound of Kiera’s laugh every time she had to correct Emilia on the use of chips versus fries), the easy and long conversations about everything and nothing, Emilia had begun to realize that Kiera was something much more than her friend. After all, she didn’t feel the same way about Eli, whom she already had a large part of her heart carved out for, as she did about Eli. Still, she knew that, right now, she couldn’t be anything more than her friend, not with the secret that was carried between them.
It was a lot easier to remember that, however, when it wasn’t Kiera’s birthday, and they hadn’t somehow escaped the rest of the small party to talk in Kiera’s room, and there wasn’t so little space between them. She let out a small, indiscernible sigh and, with a small smile and quiet voice, she asked, “Has your birthday been everything you wanted it to be, then?”
Kiera had always loved her birthday. Though the festivities changed in different ways as the years went on and she and her brother matured, it always boiled down to being a day that she would always share with Niall in some way; maybe other sets of twins preferred a focus on the things that made them different from their twin, but Kiera had always liked reminders of their connection that went being sibling. There was no better reminder, really, than a shared date of birth.
It was the more recent celebrations that she'd come to love most, though. Rather than family parties or parties with half their elementary school class or some sort of get together at a bar or club, she liked just having the people they cared about most in one place. The party didn't have to be grand to be fun or memorable. All she wanted and needed were the people they cared about most in one place, with some cake, games, or movies to pass the time. That was exactly what the night had been and it put Kiera in an even more relaxed and happy mood than usual.
That was why it was so easy for her response to roll right off her tongue. "Definitely," she said confidently, her lips tipping up into a smile. Sitting her bed, her legs stretched out in front of her with one crossed over the other and her back leaning against the wall, she peered at Emilia. The other woman had been a surprise when she entered Kiera's life, but in just a few short months she had secured herself a definite place under the header of People She Cared About Most -- which was even more of a surprise to her. She didn't know how it happened and she still had her moments where she caught herself considering whether or not it was actually a good idea to have those feelings, but that moment wasn't one of them.
"Thank you for coming, by the way," Kiera added, the smile still hinted at her lips. "I'm glad you did."
Emilia grinned, bumping her shoulder against Kiera’s as her hand reached out of its own accord to touch Kiera’s. “Of course I did. It’s your birthday. Where is would I be?” Despite the knowledge that there was a very clear boundary between herself and the other woman, and the fact that she was toeing a very dangerous line between where they were and what lay outside of that boundary. “I tried to bring you cheese fries, too, but I ate them before I could even leave the restaurant so all you get is my presence and the bracelet. But, really, what more could you want?”
A tingle erupted in Kiera's hand as Emilia's touched hers, giving her a flurry of butterflies that she liked more than she would have realized. At the mention of the bracelet, though, she lifted her opposite wrist so she could peer at it, all while letting the fingers of her other hand lift to brush against Emilia's. It was a small step forward, testing that very same boundary that she knew they both had been skirting around. Normally Kiera didn't do small steps, but everything felt different when she was with Emilia and she didn't want to ruin anything by accidentally taking a step too far. Still, she couldn't help herself.
"I have never seen a more fitting accessory for me," she noted, looking at the words. Kiera had laughed when she'd opened the gift, then immediately moved to put it on so she could wear it right away. She let her hand drop and looked back to Emilia, her tone losing its teasing lilt. "Even without it, though, your presence would have been more than I could have asked for."
Emilia didn’t move her hand, even though she knew she should. It gave her a small thrill, though, to know that Kiera found it just as difficult to not touch her as it was for Emilia. She let out a slow breath, and forced her attention away from her own thoughts and back to the birthday girl. The bracelet had been something she’d picked up in a small shop in DC a few weeks back and, though it hadn’t cost much of anything at all, it had seemed perfect for Kiera. As her feelings for the other woman had grown, she’d wondered if she should have done more for her birthday but had ultimately decided that a gift that was given because it felt right was much better than expensive gifts with no meaning.
She smiled at Kiera’s words, letting the moment linger before breaking it with a grin. “Well, if you don’t need the bracelet,” Emilia started, leaning across Kiera to reach for the wrist adorned with the bracelet, “I’ll just take this back for myself.”
"Oh no," Kiera said with a laugh, immediately straightening her arm until her wrist, and therefore the bracelet, was out of reach from Emilia's reach. "It would have been more than enough, but now I'm too attached."
Sighing dramatically, Emilia replied, “Fine, you can keep it. Greedy.” She leaned back, closer to Kiera now than she’d been before as she shifted to rest her head against the wall and looked at the other woman. “And I guess you can keep me here, too, since I was the only non-refundable part of this birthday gift.”
Letting her arm drop back down to her lap, Kiera mirrored Emilia, letting her own head rest against the wall and turning to meet her gaze. She smiled at the words, unable to help from letting her thoughts linger on them as she lifted her hand back up to let her fingers reach out and toy with a lock of Emilia's hair. "I absolutely am greedy," she confirmed, shrugging one of her shoulders in a nonchalance she didn't entirely feel in the moment. "So I think I'll have to take you up on that offer."
Closing her eyes, Emilia took a moment to revel in that simple gesture, letting her thoughts run over all of the responses she wanted to give but couldn’t, or shouldn’t. When had life become so complicated? Why couldn’t she just tell Kiera how she felt and what she wanted? She didn’t even have the luxury of wishing that things hadn’t gotten so complicated because it was those complications that had lead her to this moment.
Deciding it was time to be brave, even if it wasn’t in exactly the same way she wanted to be brave, she opened her eyes to look at Kiera. “Kier, there are a lot of things I want to say to you, and I’m pretty sure you can guess at least half of them. There’s something I have to tell you first, though, before I can say any of those things and I’m worried you won’t want to hear them once you know.”
Kiera felt the turn in the charge between them, a realization that made her heart flutter in a much different way than she had been enjoying before. Still, she smiled at Emilia, hesitating with her hair still between Kiera's fingers before she let it drop. Even if whatever she had to say might have been serious, Kiera had no doubt that it wouldn't change just how she felt about the woman sitting next to her. Confidence was something she was good at and, while she might have taken a "fake it 'til you make it" mantra in some parts of her life, this was not one of them.
"Okay," Kiera said, turning a bit more where she sat to better face Emilia. "What's up? You can tell me anything."
When Kiera let her hand fall, Emilia reached out and took it, letting her fingers lace through Kiera’s. If this was the last chance she had to do this, she didn’t want to miss the opportunity to know what it was like to just hold her hand. Taking a deep breath, she said, “I told you that I’d recently gone through a bad breakup. It wasn’t just bad, it was a disaster. I was completely certain that there was no way it could get worse than it was already. Then, just before I was supposed to go back to London with my parents, it got worse.” She hesitated, biting on her bottom lip as she tried to will herself to finish the confession. And then, before she could talk herself out of it, she said, “I’m pregnant.”
Kiera was quiet through every word, willing herself to not interrupt and give her condolences or inquire further about the breakup or even ask if there was anything she could do to help in that moment. She didn't like the thought of Emilia to be in pain -- physical, mental, or especially emotional. But she knew that the only thing she could do was listen, so that was what she did.
And then she found herself going very still.
Her mind racing, Kiera let the words slowly sink in, all while thinking over the last few months of their knowing one another. Little clues seemed to click into place; nothing that would have seemed obvious until she was given that last piece of the puzzle, yet somehow made her feel as though she hadn't been paying close enough attention. As big a thing as Kiera knew it was, though, she also knew in that moment that it did nothing to change how she felt about the other woman.
After a few seconds of silence, she repeated after Emilia. "You're... pregnant." Once Kiera heard the words out loud in her own voice, they somehow seemed even more real than a moment ago. Her expression grew concerned. "You're okay? Can I -- is there anything I can do?"
“I--” Emilia started, closing her mouth a moment later because she was caught off guard by the question. It wasn’t that she didn’t trust Kiera with the information, simply that Gio had taught her that it was the people you expected to have your back who would let you down the most. But Kiera wasn’t Gio, and Emilia had known that weeks ago. It was the only reason she’d let Kiera burrow her way into her heart, the only reason she’d found herself here in this room on Kiera’s birthday wanting her to know everything so that she didn’t have to hide anything anymore.
She let out a small laugh and shook her head once. “Yeah. Yeah. I’m okay. I mean, this isn’t what I wanted, but I’m making plans and I think everything’s going to be fine. But I think the fact that you’re sitting here still holding my hand and looking at me like you want to stay instead of looking like you want to bolt fulfills anything that I could need you to do for me.”
Kiera's expression softened, the concern still somewhere in her as it couldn't really be helped, but also being replaced with a small smile. There was no doubt in her mind that a pregnancy was no small thing, but Kiera also knew with the same lack of doubt that she was going to stay as close to Emilia as she would let her -- for as long as she would let her. She had plenty of questions that she would probably ask soon enough, but in that moment she didn't think that she was the priority.
Keeping her fingers linked with Emilia's, Kiera lifted her free hand and this time tucked a stray piece of hair behind the other woman's ear. "I'm not going anywhere," she promised, tipping her head to the side just a fraction. "As long as you want me by you, that's where I'll be."
It was everything that Emilia had wanted to here and suddenly she had no idea why she’d been so afraid to tell Kiera of all people. The reasons had been valid, she knew, but they felt negligible just then. Instead of answering right away, she leaned forward and, pausing only a moment to let Kiera push her away if she wanted to, she pressed her lips to the other woman’s, kissing her like she’d thought about doing a hundred times before.
The moment that Kiera knew for sure what Emilia was doing, she leaned in and met her in the kiss. It would have been impossible to put everything she was feeling into words, other then that it suddenly felt like she had taken a deep inhale after having held her breath for far too long. She had known what her feelings for Emilia had been building towards, even if a lot of that knowledge had been learned only in retrospect when it had finally clicked not too long ago. But she was reminded again, as she let her hand cup Emilia's jaw, her fingers gentle against her skin, of just how different this felt. It was one more thing she didn't think she'd ever be able to describe adequately, but she just knew that it was good.
After either seconds or hours -- Kiera had lost the wherewithal to even keep track of time as her lips pressed to Emilia's -- she let the kiss break. She didn't back away far, though, unwilling to pull very far away from her, not after she'd finally been allowed to get that close. "I've been wanting to do that for longer than I think I realized," she admitted, chuckling softly.
The kiss had felt like the first time and not the first time all at once, like she’d done it a thousand times before, though she knew that it had only been the once. A small breath escaped from her lips as though she’d been holding it since she’d met Kiera and could only release it now that her feelings had been realized. A slow grin spread across her face, her problems momentarily forgotten in the wake of the kiss. “Was it worth the wait?”
"Yes," Kiera replied without an ounce of hesitation, a grin of her own taking over her features as her eyes roamed over Emilia's face. This was a moment that she was going to want to remember. The future might have always been uncertain and there may not have been any way to know for sure what was in store for them, but Kiera was convinced that it would be good things -- and she was going to want to remember this and all of the conversation over cheese fries, late night dips in the river, and long, rambling conversations that brought them to this point.
"But," Kiera continued, her expression growing teasing, "I'm hoping I don't have to wait for the next one."
Emilia smiled and shook her head. “Come here, birthday girl.” And deciding that the things she probably needed to have more of a conversation about would still be there in an hour or tomorrow, she pulled Kiera closer and kissed her, again.