Beau Alderman ⚡ Barry Allen (momentums) wrote in dunhavenic, @ 2018-07-22 13:28:00 |
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Entry tags: | !narrative, * terri, c: beau alderman |
WHO: Beau Alderman
WHEN: Early Morning, July 22
WHERE: His dorm/DU Campus
SUMMARY: Beau wakes up from an unsettling dream that leaves him pondering morality.
WARNINGS: Flash Spoilers - Flashpoint.
It wasn’t all that unusual for Beau to wake up in the middle of the night from dreams as of late. Normally, those dreams involved solving crimes and just trying to get by while keeping his identity secret from the world at large. In his dreams, he could run fast enough - sometimes - to break time altogether. In his dreams he kept his city safe from those that would dare to do harm to the citizens within it, and instead of being language oriented as Beau was...his knowledge of science was astounding. The dream world where he was Barry Allen wasn’t all good either. His alter-ego had suffered innumerable and unthinkable losses and betrayals. Beau had never experienced heartbreak like that, but thanks to his dreams he could imagine very well how it felt. Even though Beau was used to waking up from the dreams, they had become so normal to his sleeping hours - and sometimes waking ones - that he could usually shake it off and go back to sleep or continue with his normal routine. Tonight was not like those other nights, though. This time, he woke up with a gasp and the sinking knowledge that he had done something wrong. He had done something irreparable. He could never go back and fix this problem. This was something that he would always have to live with and it hurt not only him, but all the people that he loved. He had created Flashpoint. Even in the darkened room, Beau scrubbed his hands over his face, pressing his palms over his eyes. He could still see how things had been in that timeline where he had thought it was perfect...he had been trying so hard to have all the things that he wanted that he hadn’t thought about the consequences. Or maybe he just hadn’t cared enough. He had his parents. He thought he was going to win over Iris. And what of everyone else? Cisco wasn’t really Cisco and Joe had fallen deep into a bottle. He had realized his mistake and tried to put it right, making the hardest sacrifice of his life by actually asking Thawne to kill his mother, but even back on the timeline he had lived his whole life things were different. Cisco’s brother had died, and he blamed Barry for not saving him. Iris and Joe weren’t speaking. John Diggle’s baby girl was now a baby boy. He had shattered time and when he tried to put it back together, nothing had fit just quite as it should. Even if it wasn’t his life, Beau couldn’t help but feel the guilt that Barry took on at the realization of what he had done. If there were so many changes just amongst the people that he was closest to, how many other domino effect alterations had happened? How many couples had he broken up or children had he caused to cease to exist? How many people had died when it wasn’t really their time? How many people were suffering needlessly for his selfishness? The morality of it - or the lackthereof - was slowly twisting Beau’s mind up inside. He hadn’t made those decisions, but would he? If he had the capability of trying to create a better life for himself and he didn’t know the consequences, would he have done so if he were in Barry’s position? Probably. To save his parents, he likely would have done anything. And what of Josie, then? What of Zora? What would happen to them? He knew that it was senseless to even think of such things because he wasn’t going to rip a hole in time, but how much different was he from Barry Allen? With a deep sigh, Beau looked to the clock beside his bed which read a cheery 4:23 AM. It would be a while before the town woke up, but there would be no more sleep for him tonight. He got up to pull on sweatpants and a t-shirt, slipping his feet into his running shoes. He wasn’t as fast as Barry, and he wasn’t responsible for the horrible things that had transpired because of his choices, but he would be dwelling on this for some time. Ironically, the best way to clear his head was running. Locking the dorm door behind him, Beau put his phone and his keys in his pocket and exited into the early morning air. He took a deep breath of it into his lungs and put one foot in front of the other. Dunhaven wasn’t Flashpoint, and it would never suffer like that. He would never make that same mistake. Ultimately, he knew as well as Barry did now...what he had gained was not worth the sacrifices paid by everyone else. Not by a long shot. |