bound_by_honor (bound_by_honor) wrote in doorslogs, @ 2012-05-08 01:32:00 |
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Entry tags: | eddard stark |
WHO Theo and all of his guilt
WHAT He's trying to make up for all the guilt he feels
WHEN Recently. After Maren sends her apology back via Raegan
WHERE His office, The Wynn
WARNINGS Guilt and obscene amounts of money being spent very quickly.
Theo had amassed his fortune over the years, spending very little of it and investing wisely. The books he had purchased for Maren barely scraped the surface of his considerable wealth, but when she returned them, he felt even guiltier. He shouldn't have waited as long as he had to apologize. He had promised Raegan that he'd try so he contemplated what to do for her. Unfortunately, his thoughts strayed, as they tended to do, to what it would be like if he'd actually believed his sister. Raegan would have been with him from the beginning, likely adopted and raised as his daughter. Maybe he would have found her with her step-siblings and he could have provided for them as well. What kind of life would they have had if he had found them? Would Maren be as broken as she was? Or wrapped up in whatever it was she had gotten herself involved with?
Theo didn't know. All he knew was that he felt guilty, responsible for the lives they had led. How could he possibly atone for that? He was too focused on the possibility that he could have helped to bother with small details like the fact that Raegan's father - a man Theodore had already begun looking into - hadn't remarried until she was nine. His guilt about Kit's accident folded in on top of that. He didn't know how to do deal with the weight crushing against him, so he did the only thing he knew how. He gave away money. He pointedly chose charities he thought they would appreciate, though for Hunter, the Westerberg sibling he only had a cursory file for, he couldn't find a suitable charity. So he rescued a horse instead, paid for the Excalibur to keep the animal in their stables, fed and watered, and sent a check along with the paperwork so that the boy would have the funds necessary to care for the horse. Good deeds done all around and yet, he still felt guilty. Not even the overabundant apology to Ms. Robinson made him feel better about her situation. Firing the idiot who let the police up to her room without informing him made him feel marginally better, but it still felt like he could do more.
Why did it have to be so complicated? His problems paled in comparison to Ned's, but there was no way he was going there now. He didn't have the time or inclination to deal with the aftereffects of that train of thought and the bottle of alcohol he'd consume following it down the tracks. No, that was a problem saved for later.