WHO Stephanie and Eddie(Pt. 2 of 2!) WHAT Steph visits Arkham Asylum. WHEN Recently! WHERE Arkham. WARNING cursing, some talk of mental health issues, the bbs being broken.
Eddie didn’t know what to do with that look like he had somehow imagined that whatever was troubling her had to have been his fault. It was easier that way, wasn’t? And, the riddled man could guess there had to be a mountain of things wrong with him that he couldn’t even see yet. That wasn’t Stephanie’s fault. That was all Arkham taking him apart and putting him back together as closely to the original as they could with only a few changes. But, the way she held his hand in her lap made him smile and he got comfortable in their little corner away from the rest of the world. His fingers twitched against hers, pushing her fingertips one by one into the back of her hand. It was nice simply having her there. He didn’t get to see her as often as he would if he was free and back in Gotham, but at least they had this time together.
“Leland spoke to you?” He asked, eyebrows raising in pure curiosity as the panic and worry drained away. “The zen garden one is my favorite rooms.” Eddie confirmed with a hum, pressing the side of his face against her shoulder as he looked out at the workshop and tried to guess what Leland could have wanted. “Did she try to get you to have a therapy session with her?” He asked, already unconvinced of his own guess. “She never said anything to me about you needing something like that. Was it about me?” That seemed more likely, though Leland wasn’t a very sneaky person. He had always thought that if she wanted to talk to Stephanie about her relationship with the riddled rogue, Leland would ask Eddie to be in the room with them.
She pressed her fingers back, a natural spring reaction to his needling pushes, and a playfully frustrated growl vibrated from her throat. Spreading her legs out in front of her, she tried to make herself comfortable in their little oasis within the asylum. It wasn’t home, it would never be home, but she could pretend for now. Still, she murmured, “I wish this was my room, and we were hiding under my desk, and the only light was the clock.” And then she rested her head atop his as they played around with their hands, falling silent for a moment as he rattled off his questions. Her responses were simple nods or shakes of her head against his until she sat up again, pancaking his hand between both of hers and waving it back and forth.
Eventually, she sighed, lacing her fingers with his. “It’s a nice room,” she agreed, turning to press a quick kiss to the top of his head. She might have missed the silly dates, the nonsensical fights, pressing her body against his, but this was what she missed most: stolen moments of affection and intimacy that she couldn’t replicate with anyone else. It felt normal for a moment, like they were just hiding in her room, but just as quickly she remembered where they were. “It was about...a little bit about you, a little bit about us.” Stephanie stared down at her lap, at their hands that were entwined together and wondered how bad this could get if Leland didn’t point it out. If they both continued to ignore what was glaringly wrong between them. “We haven’t been fighting a lot,” she started, deciding that was the worst place to start almost as soon as it fell out of her mouth. There was a noise, and she squeezed his fingers, and tried again. “You know I think that you deserve me. Every second of every day, there isn’t a doubt.”
“You and I don’t hide often, but when we do, we do it right.” Eddie confirmed, imagining her room and that clock he had bought her all those months ago. He missed having a place he could go that felt safe, that felt like home even if her apartment wasn’t their apartment. Her place was a haven away from his servers and his dark city ties. It echoed Steph and Eddie more than Batgirl and Riddler. Eddie wondered if it would still feel that way when he returned. He had to believe right now that it would.
His brow quirked when she turned to him, pushing his hand between hers in a nervous, sort of sweet gesture and he bit back a laugh. It was his way of telling her that whatever she needed to say couldn’t be that bad if it was just Leland giving her a talk about him. There were a handful of people in Gotham who really believed in Eddie and his doctor was, of course, a strong part of that group. Eddie laughed at her again, soft and charmed as he shook his head and intertwined his hands with hers. “We’re not fighting as much anymore, the world is clearly coming to an end.” He teased and then pressed a couple kisses across her face. The next part made him stop short, mid kiss to her jaw and he pulled back to look at her.
She had seen the take back look before. The one where his dark eyes bloomed something dangerous, something sharp and then in a blink it was gone. Dulled like cream being poured into coffee. What was left was a hound dog look of complacent. Agreeing for the sake of agreeing. “I know that. I do.” Eddie nodded, voice picking up assurance that he would have had before Arkham. When Eddie worked so damned hard for Stephanie and she worked so damned hard for him that they were the only two people in the city who deserved to be in love and happy like they did. That Eddie would have balked at the need to be reassured that he deserved her. This one with his Arkham t-shirt and dwindling fire, he still couldn’t really believe it. “I know I deserve you.” He repeated, but he wasn’t looking at her anymore.
Stephanie believed that once Eddie returned from Arkham, things would really start to heal again. He would be better at the end of all of this, sure, but for her to be better? For their relationship? He needed to be back in her arms and done with the long stretches of time apart. She believed that once all of this was said and done, when Leland gave them the clear, everything would turn back to normal, or as normal as they could be. His mental breakdown, his stay in the city and then the asylum had to be worth something, right? Otherwise, all of this went to waste, and where would she and Eddie be? Sure, she was scared as shit that there was irreparable damage hanging between the two of them, but Stephanie forced herself to be optimistic.
She smiled slightly as he peppered her face with kisses, curve of her mouth betraying how little she wanted to have this conversation. “No, stop,” she protested with little heart in it, and then she stiffened a little when he stopped. The expression across his face and blooming in his eyes always managed to unnerve her no matter how often she had seen it, or how often she had been able to talk him down from it. Still, she met the gaze with measured blue eyes that were not messing around like that. She had been letting him get away with murder lately, and Leland clued her in that he was doing the same with her. That? Well, that wouldn’t work back in the real world. If they wanted a hope to make this thing last, they couldn’t hide from each other any more.
“No, baby.” The blonde bat pushed away just a few inches so she could turn her entire body to face him, dropping his hand briefly to tug at his chin. “Leland--she pointed out something really, really important.” Her blue eyes pleaded him to listen to her, to stop brushing everything to the side. “You think that you don’t deserve me anymore. But, you do, baby. You do. I don’t care what you think.” But, she stopped herself short. The good doctor warned her about taking advantage of things. Maybe she shouldn’t be too forceful. Stephanie sighed deeply and turned away, pulling her knees to her chest. “We aren’t fighting anymore,” she repeated, emphasizing the point as if that were the problem. “You aren’t fighting me anymore, and I’m too scared to fight you.”
Eddie had a whole basket full of you’re rights ready and fresh for her. He used to be so bad at keeping a smile when he didn’t mean it, but a couple weeks of practice did wonders. What was the point of fighting if the time they had together now was so limited? How could he possibly justify making her mad at him when he couldn’t be there to fight and scream and hold each other until they found a way to make it better? But, when did he ever become the guy who played the short game? How did he think things were going to go once he was out and healthy and wanted to go get in trouble without her consent? He knew it was wrong. He knew they were both bottling things up for the sake of the other.
“We aren’t fighting anymore because we can’t fight anymore, Stephanie.” He pleaded and his hands suddenly felt empty without her latching onto him. “I’m sure as hell not going to make you mad while I’m in here. Do you remember the toxin? The only reason we made it through that is because I didn’t let you push me away for good. How the hell am I supposed to do that while I’m here?” There was the real Eddie bubbling to the surface. Sharp, pushy. He tried to keep it down. “I just want to give you what you want. Stephanie, look at me.” Eddie tugged at her sleeve and he leveled a serious, mature look at her. It was a rare thing that he pulled out since he much prefered his humor and eccentrics. “You deserve everything that you want. The suit, a good job and a man that’s going to treat you right. Don’t get upset at me because I’m trying to make sure you get that.” It was all old fashioned ethics that most men didn’t seem to have in Gotham. Something that only a person sprung at the turn of the last century could focus in on like a laser.
Then there was a long, painful pause. He let go of her sleeve and slouched against the wall. “Even if that doesn’t include me at the end of this.”
Stephanie scrunched her face up in confusion, and she rolled her eyes almost painfully hard. Of course they could still fight. They were both still physically and mentally able to fight with each other, but they just didn’t want to push the boundaries. But the needling teasing and pushing to the brink was some that had kept their relationship alive. For all the precious moments of affection and love, Steph and Eddie needed that sort of unrelenting testing of each other to better themselves; they needed a challenge. “Yes, we can,” she started, but bit her lip as Eddie continued, letting him rattle out his misguided (and, dare Steph say stupid) rant. Wasn’t it easy to just tiptoe around each other and pretend that this was what they wanted? To be some normal, boring couple that were scared to step over the line or pulled punches for the sake of feelings. Stephanie and Eddie weren’t like those kind of couples. Sure, they were aware of feelings, but both of them were brutally honest when necessary.
The blonde bat opened her mouth a few times to vehemently argue with him, but he kept going and going, so all she did was flap her arms in frustration. The ranting almost felt manic to her in a way that she hadn’t seen in a while, and the way he was speaking made her think she had finally lost his goddamn mind. It hurt beyond belief that he would consider her leaving him, after everything they had been through and fought for. The sharp stab of betrayal and pain blossomed in her chest and spilled through her veins, and before she even realized what was happening, the palm of her hand connected with his cheek. It wasn’t a hard slap, not the hardest hit he’d ever gotten from her, but the meaning was still there. The anger, the sting, the betrayal, but after a second, she stared down at her stinging hand in surprise. It had been almost a year since she hit him like that, and the last time they were in a nasty, brutal fight after the plague.
Still, she snatched at his collar with one hand to grab his attention, and then cupped his face between both her hands. “I want you,” she implored, blue eyes narrowing and voice snapping with an anger she hadn’t heard towards him in months. “Stop being so fucking blind! And self-sacrificing. God, she was right.” Stephanie squeezed her eyes shut and let her hands fall from his face, twisting her body away from him. “You know what she said? She told me to be careful about taking advantage of you because you’d do anything I wanted without much of a fight. And she’s right. Eddie, what is the fucking point of all of this if we can’t be together? How dare you think that I would just drop you after everything we’ve been through.”
Eddie had expected gentle reassurance or that stern way she used to tell him that everything was fine. That wasn’t what he wanted from her, but it was easier to just nod and say yes dear and go back to pretending everything was hunky dory. He watched her coil up like a mad snake seething with hurt that didn’t know he was causing and then with a loud slap that echoed through the room she struck him. “Jesus!” He kicked away from her, holding the side of his face like she had just broken his nose for the second time and his eyes went wide as she tugged him back by the collar. Whether Stephanie intended it or not, hitting Eddie woke him up. Like a bucket of cold water thrown on a cat enjoying a sunbeam nap. His eyes narrowed.
“You’re the one who’s gotten into the habit of telling me how to think. How to feel. What to do.” Every single part of his mind was screaming to pump the breaks as if he were barreling towards incoming traffic. Logic went out the window faster than it ever had and all the drugs in Arkham couldn’t keep that sharp, dark anger from locking its sights on her. Eddie wasn’t angry at her. He couldn’t be. All Stephanie wanted to do was help him through this so they could get back together, right? “Get your hands offa me!” He struggled as she regaled him with what Leland said, shoulders twisting and turning out of her grasp until she finally turned away from him.
He was breathing a little heavy and he wanted to stand up and go walk somewhere. He wanted to get out of this room and off this damn island and far, far away from Gotham for just long enough that he could feel okay again. Sure of himself like he used to be. “Look, I know you’re just trying to help me through this and I know you want to fight for me. And, goddamn do I love you for it, but I can not stand the thought of you realizing what I am, what I really am and wanting to shove me in some hole on the bad side of Arkham.” Eddie rolled to his feet, shooting a look over to the concerned guard who wasn’t about to interfere unless he got violent. “I want to be a good man. Not just for you. For me. But, I don’t know if I’m ever going to be good enough for a girl like you. I’m a bad guy. I solve problems doing bad guy things and that’s never going to change unless I just start doing whatever the hell it is you want me to do.”
Hand still stinging, Stephanie stared at him incredulously, eyes squinting and mouth turning down in an almost funny mix of anger, confusion, and shock as his accusations flew. She knew that sometimes she tended to lean into Eddie and tell him what to do, or think that she knew best where he was concerned, but the way he spoke seemed like that was the ultimate sin. Leland had pointed out the pratfalls of it, but she hadn’t meant any harm by it. And while she regretted slapping him, she didn’t regret snapping him out of the Arkham, drug-fueled haze he’d fallen into. It was the first few moments of clarity Steph had seen from him as long as she could remember, definitely since before the last time she saw him in the asylum. That anger sparking in his eyes froze her to the spot for a moment, but she also knew that was pieces of the old Eddie finally coming up to the surface again. Pieces of her Eddie she thought might be buried away somewhere for good.
“I’ve always told you what to do,” she snapped, still sitting on the floor. “You just would do what you thought was best anyway. Now? Now you’re doing this people pleasing bullshit with me because you’re scared I’m going to leave?” Her voice edged higher and tighter and angrier, and suddenly she scrambled to her feet, too. Completely forgetting about the guard in the corner who was eyeing her warily, but not ready to intervene. Yet. “What’s good enough for me, huh? I tell you all the time, I tell you every time this happens, if I can’t take all of this,” she waved her hands around the room, “then I don’t deserve you at your best. Right? Isn’t that true?”
Stephanie wiped her face and rubbed her eyes in frustration. “Dr. Leland is worried that you’re giving yourself up to make me happy. That if you keep giving and giving and giving, there isn’t going to be an ounce of you left! Doesn’t that scare you? It scares the shit out of me! All of this does!” She started to sound hysterical, and she backed up until her back hit the wall. “Eddie, I don’t want you to sacrifice yourself in some fucked up, misguided way to make me happy. You’re going to be a good man, and you’re going to be more than good enough for me. Stop thinking that you aren’t.”
Eddie fell into the old habit of inserting words or simple ppffffftttlll noises into her argument as a way to tear it down before it could even find footing. It would have been something of a lie for him to claim that getting angry didn’t feel good in some cathartic way like a difficult puzzle made a tiny, green light go off inside of his skull. What he didn’t realize, what wouldn’t strike him until a month later when he was back in Gotham and happy, was that they both needed someone to throw their frustrations at. Verbal sparring partners who would end up a lot worse off if they tried to smooth things over and keep frustrations bottled up. Maybe it was a Gotham thing. Maybe it was a terrible childhood thing. Maybe they were just two people who had the same temperaments that couldn’t quite understand anyone who dealt with their anger differently.
“No, Stephanie.” He shot back, voice loud and piercing in the workshop space as he held his sore cheek. “You deserve someone who doesn’t have problems like I do. Someone who’s smart and strong and loving and doesn’t have bad days like I do. Because baby I have bad days that I wish you didn’t have to see.” He was yelling now and it was hard to believe that such a loud noise could come from a tiny man like the Riddler. It was proof that he was a lot more than he appeared to be. That under all the humor and lighthearted teasing, there was a dangerous Arkham darkness waiting to snap.
The guard gave a warning Hey! and Eddie turned, dark eyes brightly piercing through the guard’s skull. A moment passed and he tried to push it away. Eddie’s voice hit a harsh whisper and he stepped closer to Stephanie as she backed up away from him. “Baby, I’m scared, too. I’m scared I’m never getting out of here with a clean slate no matter how hard I try.” Another step closer. “It’s not fair that I’m putting you through all of this. You can admit that right? That you shouldn’t have someone who’s been nothing but trouble since you’ve known him?”
Steph didn’t jump when Eddie shouted, but the loud warning from across the room put her on edge for a moment. The remnants of the slap tingled in her fingertips, and she looked over Eddie’s shoulder as the guard shouted and the riddled man turned. She didn’t catch the dark, threatening look that Eddie shot the other man, just stared at the third party in the room who didn’t understand the way the Riddler and his bat worked. No one was really privy to know their relationship in depth the way Eddie and Steph did. There were the naysayers and the advice givers, people who could see little problems or faults in the lines, but didn’t understand the why or how to fix it. And while she knew that Eddie’s doctor meant well, part of her wanted to just pump the breaks altogether and forget any of this happened.
But, it had to happen, didn’t it? Or else this would fester and fester until it ate both of them whole. As Eddie edged forward, Steph didn’t move, she had nowhere to move, so she just crossed her arms over her chest. Measured a sharp, stormy look on him and let him try to throw his brand of logic at her. The entire time he spoke, she kept opening her mouth to retort, or shook her head in disbelief that he really would go there. The anger tensed her stomach, and she bit back a fresh flow of tears or a snapped remark. But her blue eyes washed over with a mixture of anger and hurt, and Stephanie looked up and around. Anywhere but her green man.
“No,” she murmured with a violent shake of her head, then repeated the word, gaze flying up to the ceiling. “No.” Her eyes darted down to look towards the guard again, who seemed more and more wary by the second. “I don’t care if you have bad days, okay? I know you have bad days, and this is what I signed up for time and time again. When I followed you at the Christmas party, after you dumped goop on me, every time I’ve taken you back.” Finally, her eyes snapped back to Eddie again. “So what if you think I should have someone else. I don’t want anyone else. I don’t need anyone else either.”
Eddie was typically the type of man who could level a gaze at someone as long as he needed to, but that one tiny flash of blue hurt in her eyes made him look down at his feet. His fists balled up, one at his side and the other still cradling his cheek and he thought about the logical progression of his argument. That he’d never be a shiny white knight like one of her bats or birds. That he’d probably hurt her again, that he’d push himself too far either for himself or someone he cared about. That there was always going to be things about him that he couldn’t change because pulling out those puzzle pieces would destroy the big picture. So, the logical end to his mathematical proof was that if he was imperfect and she deserved someone who was perfect, then he needed to make her leave him.
But, somehow that didn’t make any sense either. Didn’t she have a bird once? A bright, shining perfect bird? Didn’t he lose his trust in her (unfairly) because she was a little imperfect, too?
“I’m going to stand next to you right now.” Eddie announced, more for the guard’s piece of mind than Stephanie’s and then he closed the gap between them, leaning his shoulder hard into the wall next to her. Eddie tilted his head against the wall. Even without looking at him, Stephanie could practically hear the gears and dials spinning inside, trying to make sense of what she said, what he felt and what his brain was trying to feed him. He put one hand out, a gesture she’d recognize from when he wanted her to hold his hand and waited patiently for her to touch him.
“Listen,” He murmured with a long sigh. “This Arkham business has been difficult on me. And, I know it’s been hard on you, too. I’ve done this hundreds of times before, but this is the first time I really took it seriously. It’s scaring the hell out of me. Somedays when I go to therapy I wonder what part of me they want to erase and I hold onto all my riddles like a goddamned lifeboat. Somedays I want them to take all of it and give me something new.” Eddie wiggled his fingers at her to try and get her to take his hand. “When you saw yourself in a different reality, you saw a future you wanted and all I got was the same song and dance I’ve been doing for decades and decades. I didn’t get a road map to tell me how to live my life. You’re my compass.”
During her time in this Gotham, in a Gotham that wasn’t hers in birth but became hers over the year and change, Stephanie had gone through plenty of changes that developed her far beyond the young blonde bat that flapped at everyone and everything when she first arrived. And, so, so very far from the girl who dressed in eggplant purple and ran around the rooftops with a boy wonder. She wasn’t the girl she was a year ago, and while she wasn’t grown up (her reaction to this entire situation screamed twenty years old!), she had grown out of certain things. The young Brown didn’t desperately crave approval from everyone at every moment, and she had grown more confident and assured of herself. (That didn’t mean that wasn’t there, but this wasn’t about that.) She had grown past the idea of a perfect bird in shining armor and fell in love with a man who left all his flaws on the table. A former of the rogue gallery who proved to be more of a hero than much of the family lately.
And while he wasn’t perfect by any means, at the end of the day, Eddie was perfect for her. This Gotham taught her that, too, and that was the most important lesson of all.
Stephanie still didn’t move when he inched closer, though her shoulders stiffened slightly when he leaned against the wall next to her. Biting down on her lip, she kept her gaze forward, away from him, and arms still crossed, but she was listening. Of course she was listening. And though she didn’t look directly, she could sense him pleading to grab his hand, so she let her arms fall down to hang at her sides even though she didn’t reach out to touch him at first. With a long, drawn-out inhale, she rolled her head to the side to face him, blues trying to keep his dark browns in their grasp. A few beats of silence passed as she took him in before she reached to take his hand with hers.
“Do you want me to find someone else?” Steph asked, voice shaky and lip puffy from being worried so much. “I know you don’t. Right? So why, why would you suggest that?” She shifted until she leaned her shoulder on the wall as well, facing him fully and holding his hand tighter. “I know it’s been hard, and I know it’s scary, but I need you to talk to me, okay? Yell at me, piss me off, be honest. If we fall apart now, what’s been the point?” Stephanie rolled her eyes. “I didn’t get a road map either. That’s just an idea, it’s not real. I just want a life that’s gonna make me happy. And, I can’t even imagine how that’d be possible without you, Eddie.”
His eyes wandered from her tensed shoulders to that puffed up lower lip before he finally locked into her searching blues. He smiled, a little thin line that turned up in the corner of his mouth and he whispered a no when she asked if he wanted her to find someone else even after she answered her own question. Eddie could feel his heart go from erratic pounding against his ribcage (something it hadn’t done since he arrived on the island) to a slow, peaceful bap, ba-bap. His body relaxed and he tightened his grip on her hand as her fingers laced through his.
Maybe that warped reality wasn’t real, but it felt like someone reading him a bad fortune in the back of a dark circus. It felt like an omen more than anything else and to see it mixed with something Stephanie wanted made him sick every time he thought about it. And, Arkham gave him way too much time to think. Gotham let him live in his distractions. This cleaned up haunted castle let him wander through every locked door in his head until he got so turned around he couldn’t remember how to get back out.
“You got something nice.” Eddie corrected her. “I was the only bad part of your whole nice reality.” He shrugged, knowing that it was silly to get hung up on something like that. “I’ll tell you a secret. I know I’m the kind of guy who goes running towards certain doom with my neon lights flashing, but I never once felt like I wanted everything to stop until I turned into that Riddler. He couldn’t have you, not like I do, so he wanted it all to just stop.” He tugged her closer, opening his other arm up to hold her. “That whole thing has been haunting me for months. I used to treat it as a motivator to keep fighting the good fight, but all it’s ever been is something to run away from.”
Stephanie squeezed his fingers back without a second thought, and her face scrunched up a little, wibbling lip full of the pain she was trying so hard to quell. When they all snapped back from their respective, fucked-up realities, she panicked because there were so many things she wanted in that reality, but she couldn’t have Eddie. No matter what kind of way the entire thing was twisted, no matter how hard either of them tried, that Stephanie and that Eddie would never work out the way these ones always managed to do. Maybe this Gotham was the only one where they could work, but goddamn, she would make it work if it killed her.
“She wasn’t completely happy though,” Stephanie implored, begrudgingly letting him pull her into his arms. Maybe she shouldn’t be arguing with Eddie about ranking who lost that terrible reality. He had clearly, and when he admitted that the other Riddler wanted it to end, she couldn’t help the flicker of concern, hurt, almost panic. She took a moment when she looked down, then back up at him. “You don’t want that, right?” She couldn’t bring herself to ask the words. Dealing with Helena had been hard enough, but to have Eddie so vulnerable and broken? That wouldn’t sit well with Stephanie until she could find a way to fix it. Even if it took lifetimes and plenty of heartache to do so.
She took a fistful of the front of his shirt and pressed her closed fist into his chest lightly. “See? This is why we can’t keep things from each other. I don’t want you to have to deal with something on your own for months and months, okay? I want to help you deal with it. I wanna take some of the burden away. And don’t start that shit with trying to keep me sheltered or whatever.” She let go of the fabric, smoothing her hand over his chest as she spoke. “I don’t want to be sheltered from you. So talk.” A light shove to his chest let him know she wasn’t kidding. Even if he was beginning to open up on his own.
He let her hand go and wrapped both arms around her shoulders. He liked the feeling of her hands grabbing ahold of his shirt the same way he liked when she pulled him around by his tie. It felt like she was telling him that he was hers and what they had was tangible instead of something he dreamed up from his own riddled mind. Eddie was a cerebral guy, sure, but Stephanie could make him appreciate even the smallest touch. “No, I don’t want that. I barely understand that.” Eddie wasn’t written to understand why people would want to make the world go dark, but he did understand loneliness and fear that he wasn’t good enough. That warped reality where he dug machines under his skin to prove he was strong was a stinging prediction of what life would be like without Stephanie. “These past months have just been a giant pause button. I want to push play again. I wanna be back out there with you.”
Eddie leaned back as she smoothed her hand over his shirt and pushed a kiss to the side of her mouth. “Talk?” He asked and then made a soft oof when she pushed him. “Well, for starters, you can stop smacking me around.” A smartass look that was at about 60% and improving snuck across his features and he pulled her closer again by the fabric of her shirt. “Look, I think you opened up an old injury in my jaw with that slap.” He tilted his jaw up to put it on display for her, the red across his cheek still fresh from her hand. “You know a bat broke my jaw a little over a year ago and it just hasn’t been the same way since.” It was funny to think it was less than two years ago since they were more foes than lovers. He remembered how it felt to go through the motions of what he was designed for and at the end of it felt nothing except a need to find something new in his life. A month later he was helping her track down her family and talking about her about the cape and cowl.
He didn’t have a compass back then, he didn’t even have her and yet he still managed to push himself in the right direction. That was an important thing to remember.
Fundamentally, she knew Eddie would never think of ending his life, especially following Helena’s attempt a few months prior. Still, an immense relief washed over her, and she closed her eyes briefly as she nodded. “Good,” was all she could say to it. If he had said something else, she wouldn’t know how to react. Probably beat Leland to a pulp for not fixing him, or for making him worse. Pursing her lips, she nodded once more before opening her eyes slowly and fixing them on him. “I know. It’s felt like that for me, too. That there’s something missing in my life. I keep going through the motions, and doing what I have to do, but there’s a piece gone, and everything else, even if it’s great, feels off.” Stephanie sighed, slipping easily into his arms as they settled around her shoulder, and she wrapped her own around his middle. “We’ll have it all back soon. Right?”
She was supposed to be the stupidly brave one, the one stronger than most young women, so why did she feel so weak? Because Stephanie felt weak in the midst of all of this. Eddie being away from her, being torn from their lives, her having to pretend like everything was okay. And while it seemed like Eddie needed her to guide him, the truth was that she needed him just as much, if not more. They were both good at living their lives separately, they both could survive without each other. Eddie could do good without Stephanie’s help, and she could do the same without his. At the end of the day though, that didn’t mean that they had to.
The little blonde bat laughed as he curved his neck to show her his jaw, and she pulled away as he tugged at her shirt with a smirk. “Shut up,” Steph murmured, reaching up to touch the red mark on his cheek while keeping her other arm wrapped around him. “You’re such a baby. I know for a fact that your jaw is still completely functional. And, I remember something about a broken nose, a bullet wound, bruised ribs of my own. So, I think you got off pretty easily.” It was the first time in some time either of them had acknowledged their not-so-distant past, and with humor at that. It reminded her of the rage in the pit of her stomach at the mere thought of the Riddler.
What was the saying? There’s a thin line between love and hate.
“I’m not a baby, I’m sensitive.” Eddie feigned like she was doing him great harm. “You got nothing on the broken nose, by the by. We’re even on that now.” Despite the fresh, buzzing sting of her hand against his oh so wounded face, Eddie leaned into her touch and smiled at her. A moment passed where he just looked at her, watching those blue eyes light up past the storms they were hiding behind before. It really felt like he could see her and Eddie didn’t know if he had felt that way since he got locked up. “Hey, I was thinking. Do you wanna have another Oregon Trail night?” Thoughts wandering to better things than hero versus villain. “I should be outta here by then. December something?”
He leaned in to kiss her and then walked over to his rolly chair, sat down and then kicked himself across the floor back to his work station. “Obviously, I’d prefer it if you didn’t destroy one of my antique computers again, but it’s a risk I’m willing to take.” Eddie lifted one finger in the air to punctuate the point and then gestured towards a nearby chair for her to take. “Did Leland tell you anything else about me? I told her she could tell you anything I said about you, so I figure it’s fair you give me all the info. Anything about my progress? If I’m actually getting off this rock?” Eddie’s voice was optimistic and hopeful like a kid asking if he was going to Disneyland this year for being a good boy. He was trying and he wasn’t built like the kind of rogues that would never get better no matter how hard they tried. Eddie was the prisoner and warden of his own sanity, but he needed someone like Leland to shine a light on how the riddles were shaking out.
“Big old baby.” She wiggled her eyebrows in that same infuriating way that he did, but it didn’t look as good or as smarmy on the blonde bat as it did on the riddled man. “Okay, fine. My ribs still say there’s no even stevens for that.” Pulling a face, she rubbed the side of her ribcage where that scar lied, the one from a bulletwound a year ago that Eddie sometimes obsessed over. They rarely, if ever, addressed what happened that night in the riddle house over a year ago, just tiptoed around the memory like they did so often with their past. But then again, neither of them were who they were a year ago, were they? They had both grown out of those people, and became someone better. Together.
That didn’t, of course, mean that they had to ignore everything from back in the day. “Snakeaggedon?” Stephanie grinned, brightening as he kissed her then moved away. “I promise your computer’ll make it out okay if you don’t booze me up again like last time. Leaving her hat, gloves, and coat discarded on the floor, she followed in tow slow, slow, sloowwwly. She stopped at the train set, running her fingers over the curled hillside and leaning in to absorb the little details scattered across. Humming a few bars of “Sally’s Song,” she listened to his questions intently, catching the inflections in his voice. “She told me you’re doing well. Progressing well,” she tried to mimic Leland’s stern voice, but it came out more goofily than she wanted. After a second, she pushed off the table and strolled over to his workstation and flopped in the proffered seat. “She wants you out ASAP, too. She’s really, really fond of you, baby.” She smiled, and then put a finger to her lips. “But that’s our little secret.” Taking his hand between both of hers again, she pressed little kisses to his knuckles. “She told me you were one of the more compassionate people here.” Each of her words were punctuated by another kiss until she forewent his hand all together and leaned to catch his mouth in a claiming crush. “I guess I had to agree.”
Eddie chuckled at her silly impression of Leland and then tried an equally goofy: “Yes, Edward. You are progressing, though there is quite a bit of work left to do.” He made the last part ominous as if he were telling a spooky story because all this mental health stuff was so vague and unspecific. Eddie was the kind of guy who would love to dive headfirst into the great unknown and wouldn’t mind if he didn’t come out with all the answers. The difference was that here Leland lead him around by the hand while he still felt like he was stumbling through the darkness. “Progressing well isn’t a time frame. What if progressing well means six months instead of a year?” Eddie couldn’t stay in Arkham for that long. He had couple more months left in him and if Leland started to tighten her grip or she was sacked, Eddie would have to make a break for it.
He snuck a look at her admiring his train set and smiled when she wasn’t looking at him, turning before she could catch him enamored with her. By the time Stephanie walked over, it looked as if Eddie was very, very interested in the computer he was working on. He let her take his hand, turning a little in playful, faux agitation that she was interrupting his work before turning his body towards her. “Compassionate!” Eddie managed to squeak out before she kiss attacked him and he pulled close so that their chairs bumped into each other and threatened to roll away. If her kiss was claiming, his was practically a surrender. She was the heroic princess with sword and shield and he was the dapper prince thrashing about in a tree waiting for her to pull him down.
“Compassion, like for real people?” He teased, mocking full on confusion before trying to pull her back into his lap. Back to how this day started together before the fighting and looking over that brink of breakup that they had gotten way too familiar with lately. “I don’t know about that, Stephanie. Everyone here knows I’m dating you for the obvious perks.” Eddie shrugged as if it were so obvious.
Stephanie bubbled out a giggle at his mocking tone, rolling her eyes as if she was wholly unimpressed by the entire thing. But, she sobered up a little, looking down at her lap for just a moment before looking back up at him. “Leland said she wants you out soon, and I think soon means soon, baby. But, if you want, I can threaten her to let you out by Thanksgiving or else.” Her expression went playfully dark for a moment, almost wicked, but it softened almost immediately. She liked Leland, and she trusted her to know when Eddie would be good and ready for the real world. And her soon made Stephanie believe that it would be sooner rather than later. She had to be optimistic about it, or else she would drive herself insane in the process.
“Yes, compassionate,” Steph teased as she climbed into his lap, straddling him this time instead of laying over his lap. Completely unconcerned by the guard tucked away in the corner eyeing them both like he thought they were both a little off. And, what they had was so normal that it wasn’t normal at all in Gotham. Couples fought and made up, worked through their problems with heated discussions that could dissipate just as quickly as it ignited, but that wasn’t how it worked in Gotham. Except with Steph and Eddie. Slinging her arms around his neck, she looked down at him and fought the urge to rock her hips. Okay, maybe she had some shame. “I know, I wanted to tell her she was completely mistaken.” Her eyebrow quirked up. “And what obvious perks are these?”
Eddie shot a look over his shoulder at the guard who was both getting progressively more confused and disgruntled with the couple’s antics. There weren’t a lot of ladies that visited Arkham. Plenty at Blackgate City, sure, but those were all common criminals with a lady at home waiting for them with the tv on and a fresh sandwich. What Eddie and Stephanie had was different. It was different from anything they had seen before in Gotham and he didn’t know if he’d ever see anything like it again. “I’m glad you didn’t tell her the, though I don’t know how much longer I can keep living this lie.” He put his hands on her hips, head tilting to rest on the back of the chair as he looked up at her.
He swiveled the chair left and right slowly, wiggling his eyebrows seductively as if he knew she was on the same wave length that he was. “I don’t want to objectify you, baby.” Eddie said smoothly, hands wandering a little farther down. “It’s already dangerous enough that you come here to visit me. What if one of the other patients falls in love with you?” He gasped. “Or worse, what if Leland sees the quality of your character and decides to run off with you, leaving the asylum under the careful eye of one Hugo Strange?” More shock, as if Stephanie had just told him she was was about to do that very thing.
“I guess I should take advantage of the small amount of time I have left with you.” Eddie said softly, leaning forward to press his lips against hers as he bbaaarreelly pushed his hand up her body. “You wanna remind me what visitor wardrobe protocol is?” He asked innocently, eyeing her clothes like they had to go. Eddie? Eddie had no shame.
Behind them the guard cleared his throat loudly and Eddie jumped like a college kid caught feeling up his girlfriend in the middle of class. “Let’s go take a walk? Go find a nice patch of grass to make out in? It’s cold out, I don’t think there will be many crazies wandering.”
She glared at him with narrowed blue eyes that begged him to reel it in for once. She was trying to be good, even if they always gave them both tons of leeway when it came to their interactions, because who knew what might mess things up for him. But, the time apart made her react to every look, curve into every touch; ever since Arkham City, Stephanie felt like a woman possessed when he was close enough to touch. It was so few and far between, how could she not? So, as his hands moved to hold her hips, her own hands slid back to hold onto his shoulders lightly.
“What if they do?” she asked with a wicked grin as he twisted his chair back and forth a little. Fingers wandering across his shoulder to tug at the collar of his Arkham shirt as she fought a shiver to his wandering touch. “So what? What if they all fall madly in love with me because of my charms and good looks and fantastic ass? Maybe I could dupe them into extra privileges for you. You never know. I could wrap Leland around my little finger, and you’d be set.” She snapped her fingers in his face the way he did when he figured something out. “See, I need to do it. How else can I get you watching more than Downton in this place?”
But the teasing was lost in a smile as he caught her lips, and she forgot for a string of moments that they were sitting in a workshop in Arkham Asylum. Steph sighed a little as she returned the kiss with equal fervor, closing her eyes as his hands began the dance up her body, her own hands beginning to tangle in his hair. But the guard had her jumping, too, and she snapped open her blues to look over Eddie’s shoulder first, then back at the green man himself. “Who says I want to make out with you anymore anyway?” she asked, even while she slowly slid off his lap to grab her coat, hat, and gloves. As she pulled the hat on, she began to stroll back over to him. “You’re really presumptuous, Nashton.” Gloves slipping on with a wiggle of her eyebrows and a smirk curling up the side of her mouth.
Eddie could feel himself slipping into that familiar territory of warm fuzzy feelings, a dizzy disregard for the rest of the world and all his focus and energy directed right at her. He smiled at her teasing, eyes narrowing playfully when she snapped her fingers in his face. “Don’t you dare.” Eddie warned, making a couple attempts at biting her fingers. “I’m a bad influence! I’ve always said I’d be a bad influence on you!” He laughed into another kiss and then for a moment it really did feel like they were back at his apartment on his couch getting ready for a night out together. It was strange to think that life used to be that simple and boy was he counting down the seconds until he’d get to feel that comfortable again.
When the guard practically broke them up and she jumped off his lap, Eddie took a second to piece his mind back together. A funny smile still in the corner of his mouth by the time she looked back over at him. “No, I’m not. I’m using data gathered from observing and questioning you.” He said, geeky highs flaring incorrigibly and he scooted over to grab a gray sweatshirt that made him look like a middle aged man about to go out for a jog. Oh, how Eddie missed his suits. His peacoats. His giant poofy coats that no one had the heart to tell him they went out of style in the early 2000’s.
He pulled his jacket over his shoulders and walked over to her, arms pulling her into a hug with her back turned to him. “I like seeing you in those gloves.” Eddie told her simply, kissing her shoulder before releasing her so that she could grab everything she needed. It was such a basic thing for her to wear the things he made her without hesitation. A small thing. But, Eddie was always the kind of guy who appreciated whatever tiny happinesses he could latch onto.