who MK and Sebastian when BACKDATED to before MK lost the baby, just after the hotel party. where their shared Turnberry place. what pep talk. warning nothing? language.
It had been a long time since Sebastian had lived with anyone who wasn't either family or his significant other, and even longer since he had stayed with someone who, by all accounts and purposes, had hated him most of their several-year acquaintance. He knew that MK had her reasons, and he didn't fault her those, but still, it made for a bit of awkward when he packed up his bags from Sera's home and hauled them over to Turnberry. But surprisingly, it was going better than expected. Having a place that wasn't just a guest room, that wasn't with his ex-fiance made things better, and the fact that he and MK were on the same page when it came to Nell, it was common ground for them to grow on.
Things had took an upturn in the past couple of days. College connections from Italy had turned up a position in one of the local hotels helping to manage the place, and though it wasn't quite the same as his ownership of the Aria, it was something, and that's what mattered. Take-out from one of the Chinese places he favored near Turnberry was brought back as a celebration, and though he would have rathered been celebrating this sort of thing with Nell, it was better than spending the evening alone.
"I hope you like sweet and sour," he called out as he opened the door to the apartment, juggling the bag and his keys with one hand, pressing the door shut with the heel of his shoe. "I didn't know what you liked, but I figured no one hates sweet and sour, so here's hoping that I'm not wrong." It was still strange staying with MK, but day by day, it was getting a little less awkward.
The moment after she had offered Sebastian to stay with her, MK nearly slapped herself upside the head. Why had she even said that? How was this going to be a good idea? But, she stuck to her guns because how shitty would it be to back out of an offer like that? And, she could be a good person if she wanted to, and she wanted to lately. Nell was broken, and if she could fix Sebastian, she could fix her best friend, right? There was no repairing herself, not really, and there certainly was no fixing Saint Adam Waterhouse. No convincing him that maybe, for once, he was wrong. Maybe they would be okay, maybe they could be a family.
But that wasn’t the matter at the moment, was it? Having Sebastian move into her mostly empty apartment was a good distraction, and though they did the awkward dance for some time, it was settling a lot more easily than she suspected. This was the first time in a long time she’d given the former Price a chance to be a human instead of the villainous ex in Nell’s fairy tale. He wasn’t awful, and she was able to keep a lot of her hatred back with two checks: at least he wasn’t fucking Dell, and she was obsessively in love with a man with the emotional range of a low functioning robot. Those two things helped her keep any rankling anger toward the man at bay as best she could.
She was in the kitchen, after spending most of the day between being sick over the toilet and combing through baby magazines. At the moment, she was doing the latter, sitting at the island in her kitchen and drinking some ginger ale to settle her stomach. Quickly, she snapped the one she was reading shut and called out, “If I can stomach it, I love it.” The morning sickness was being brutal the past few days, but she could never pass up some good food. Somehow, instead of gaining any weight so far, she seemed to have shed some pounds. Maybe that was just all the illness. “In the kitchen!”
He kicked off his shoes and tossed the keys on the table by the door before he made his way in towards the kitchen, a small smile pulling up the corner of his mouth. "I do not envy you and your pregnancy," Sebastian stated as he sat the food on the island near her before moving to find plates to set out, cartons soon joining them. Living with MK wasn't the ideal situation, especially when you took into consideration their mutual feelings towards one another, but it was turning out better than could be expected. Besides, something about a pregnant woman living alone bothered him, and how the father of the baby could leave her like that, he just didn't understand. But he had been raised to respect women, to respect people in general, and to offer them the same considerations he would want himself.
"Has it been bad today?" he asked, shifting slightly to accommodate his still-braced arm, but still managing to get open one of the cartons of food open with one hand.
MK laughed quietly. "I wouldn't envy myself either." It was hardly the most ideal situation to be in, after all. A recovering addict practically dangling off the edge of the wagon was carrying the baby of a man who didn’t really want the child at all. Not to mention, raising a child in a situation like this would prove nightmarish. She only had to look at Wren and Luke, who were at least together, to know how difficult it was to raise a child when the hotel was involved. What if one day Mary Jane got herself hurt, or worse, killed? If Adam wasn’t around, there would be nowhere for the child to go. All the consequences that muddled her mind during the brief moments she would let it, and it had her regretting her decision.
She shook her head. No, she wanted this baby. And, she would be a good mother. She would prove it to everyone that she could be a good mother. She sighed and rolled her eyes. “Yeah, it’s gross,” she started as she moved to help him lay out the spread. “I can’t wait till I get to the good stuff. Like, not miserably sick every morning stuff.” Forks, knives, and plates appeared on the counter. “How was work?”
"I haven't even asked," Sebastian started as he settled down, nodding his thanks as she helped to spread out the food in front of them, toying with his fork for a moment before he did anything else. "How far along are you? And how long until the morning sickness goes away?" A bit of chicken was speared, glanced at, and then he took a bite, fork dangling from his fingers. It was kind of surreal, being here, being with MK and sharing a meal, when it should have been with Nell, but he didn't allow himself to dwell on that. "Work's fine. Not what I want, but it's something, and I ought to be grateful for that." It was said quietly, and it was clear that he was upset by it.
She immediately busied herself with filling her plate with little portions of this and that, nibbling on things to see if her stomach would lurch or let her actually keep it down. The rice settled well, but the sweet and sour chicken was a bit iffy, so she placed her fork back on her plate. “Almost three months,” she said with a quiet smile, one of the rare moments she allowed herself a bit of happiness about the baby growing inside her. “It’s different for every woman, I think. They say second trimester, but I’m not holding my breath at all.” A roll of her eyes, and she began to pick at her food again. MK suspected, really, that Sebastian hadn’t had to work for much in his life, and it was amusing to think of him having to put effort in for something for the first time in his life. “Suck it up, pretty boy,” she teased, though not maliciously, more knowledgeable than anything. “You’ll be okay, I promise. It’s good for you to have to actually work for something.” She offered Sebastian a small smile, then continued to pick at her food.
Sebastian gave her a long look, the corner of his mouth rising in a half smile. "Yeah, I wouldn't hold your breath either. I don't want to have to pick up a passed-out pregnant woman from the floor with one arm. So keep breathing, please." The half smile turned into something more full as he picked at his food, not particularly hungry himself after everything that had happened, but knowing he needed to eat.
When she said, even in a tone that wasn't particularly malicious or cutting, that it was good that he had to work for something, Sebastian looked back up at her, one brow arched. "Does everyone honestly think that about me?" he asked, putting down his fork, hand coming up to rub at the back of his neck. "That I've had everything handed to me on a silver platter? That I'm just some rich boy who's never really worked for anything in his life?" He didn't spend a lot of time thinking about how others might perceive him, and the thought that that might be the way people looked at him was... well, distressing. He knew that his childhood had been privileged, and he knew that he didn't want for the things that many people did, but he had never considered himself someone who didn't know how to work. He just didn't know how to struggle.
MK rolled her eyes. “I wouldn’t trust you even with two arms, Sebastian. No offense.” She grinned over at him, teasing now a little foreign given that she’d barely cracked a smile over the past seven months. “Adam’s a doctor. If I hold my breath too long, dial him up. He’ll probably care.” She said it with a sort of airiness that was meant to be joking, but lately, she found herself more and more bittered by her baby daddy’s (not even her boyfriend) attitude towards her. But, god, did she love him still, and that was more of a problem than anything. She could never deny it, probably could never move past it, and would never want to live without it.
“Sebastian,” she started with a sigh, pushing herself away from the counter to bury her head in the fridge. “It’s hard not to see people like you that way. Hell, people see me that fucking way, and it’s bullshit. But, growing up like I did, like a lot of people did kinda fucks up our views.” When she stood up again, she had a small bottle of ginger ale in her hands. Opening it up with a hiss, she hipped the fridge door shut and measured a look on him. “Look,” she started after taking a swig of the soda. “If you’re really so worried about what people think of you...well, don’t be. They’re going to fucking think it anyway.”
"I'd rather put chances in someone who can be counted on to care, but if you insist." He could hear the tone, could read further into it than people probably estimated he could, but he had enough mind about the situation not to start voicing his opinions on anyone who did something like that. Instead, he ate quietly and watched as she moved towards the fridge to pull out a bottle of ginger ale, listening to the words she had to offer about the situation at hand. "It's good to know people have such high opinions of me." It was said with a trace of bitterness, and he looked over to the side, his expression growing a bit distant. He felt like he had worked hard for what he had, for his education, for the Aria. Calvin had always made sure that his adopted son was well taken care of, that he had everything he needed, but he had never considered himself spoiled. Life hadn't been easy at all times, and he had always been a little different in some of his thinking than the rest of his family. Questioning what they were doing, whether he wanted to be part of it, but they were things he didn't share loudly, things he didn't talk about.
He let out a huff, not directed at MK but at the situation in general, before spearing a bite of chicken a little too violently with his fork. "So. In news that's equally as fucked up as our situations tend to be. How did the party treat you?"
“I’m being sarcastic. He’d care if I passed out from not breathing. If it was coke? That’d be a different story.” The blasé attitude that she regarded Adam, her addiction, all the other serious matters in her life wasn’t anything new really. She had just forgotten how to treat things like that for a while, but it was her special way to guard things. The queen of mystery could no longer be very mysterious, after all. Everyone knew her business, or at least parts of it, and she couldn’t pretend there was nothing going on. So, she’d make it seem like nothing was wrong still. MK waved a dismissive hand at Sebastian’s bitterness. “That’s nothing. Seriously.” She walked back over to the counter and leaned against it. “If you know about yourself, then fuck the rest. They’re all assholes. I know. Duh.”
With a roll of her neck, she looked at him as if trying to read through the huffs and bitterness and curiosity. “It was actually mercifully calm. I was just some fucked up Disney princess zombie thing. So. By calm I mean, I didn’t get murdered, and I didn’t get assaulted, and I didn’t cheat on Adam.” She scooped up some rice, but kept the fork hovering by her mouth. “How about you? You don’t sound like you had a good time.”
"You deserve better than him," Sebastian stated simply, and that was all he'd say on it from that point forward. Voicing opinions in this situation was all he really had the ability to do; what MK decided was her own thing, and he wouldn't judge her for it. He let out a sigh, speared another bite of chicken to chew on quietly as he listened to her summary of her night at the party. "Better night than mine, it seems," he commented, and the chicken took a sour taste in his mouth, his stomach rolling at the thought as he put his fork down and ran his hand back through his hair. "No. It wasn't a good time. And I don't know what to make of it yet. I'm still trying to figure that part out." A tired that had the desire to kill, to actually rip another man's arm off. There was something dangerous there, something he wasn't entirely sure he was ready to face himself.
MK just rolled her eyes at his sentiment, a repeated chorus from countless people in her life that pretended to care. Because maybe they thought she deserved someone better, but they didn’t really know her then, did they? She wasn’t the good one in the relationship. Didn’t they know that? She was the one with the addictions and the suicide attempts and the busted up drama, and Adam still loved her. That was admirable, wasn’t it? No, no one got it still. She loved him, and she would always love him. “Yeah, well. I haven’t had a good track record with these parties before.” MK finally spilled the rice into her mouth and chewed thoughtfully for a moment as he spoke. Leaning her elbows on the counter, she measured a knowing look on Sebastian. “They fucking suck, okay? They really fucking suck and want to give us something to obsess over, or to fuck up our lives in one way or another.” She paused, running a hand through her hair and rubbing her eyes.
“The last one, the one on Halloween. I, uh. I cheated on Adam. With Luke. Of course, I didn’t fucking know it was Luke, but none of that mattered at the end of the day. So I get it, okay? I really fucking get it.” Now, a pointed look, and a raised brow. “Tell me what happened.”
Sebastian didn't say anything for a while, instead picking up his fork to push some food around on his plate, not really interested in the stuff any longer, but it gave him something to do with his hands. When MK rehashed one of the parties, cheating on Adam with Luke of all people, he looked up, a brow arched at that little bit of news. He wasn't going to judge, and he certainly wasn't going to look down on her about it. The hotel did strange things to people, and when you didn't know who was who, when it was impossible to tell up from down, he didn't really think that anyone should be mad about some accidental cheating. Yeah, if that happened with Nell, he might have been a little annoyed, but he wouldn't have blamed her for it.
There was another sigh and he put his fork down again, fingers lacing together tight enough that his knuckles went a little white with the tension. "I was a tiger," he finally said, his voice soft. "And I killed someone. Ripped his arm off, I think. It wasn't pleasant, but I thought he was... dangerous. A threat to something. Someone. Me, or maybe my family." And that made him think of his family, of The Family and all that came with it, because often times, that's how threats were responded to, with violence, eliminating the threat without thought or concern to the aftermath, and that had been him that night, and it sickened him to think that he was capable of that.
MK caught the raise of his eyebrows, and her eyes turned down, embarrassed and regretting saying anything at all. She hadn’t talked about it to anyone not directly involved in so long; she knew that Adam thought about it when she told him Sebastian was moving in, but that was different. She stared down at her belly for a second and thought about if she would even be in the same situation if she hadn’t gotten tangled up with Luke at that party. That was the irony of all these happenings, wasn’t it? Not knowing whether she was actually better or worse for it all. At the time, it definitely felt like she was worse off, and even some days now she thought about the million different ways her life would have been different. Better.
She didn’t look up again until he started speaking, and when she did, she listened to him intently. Teeth biting down her bottom lip, head tilted, eyes worried. Something she never thought would even flicker across her face when it came to Sebastian. Placing the fork down, she propped her elbows on the counter and leaned in a little. “Have you tried to talk to whoever it was?” she asked, not knowing what to say. These parties were murky territories. How much was Sebastian and how much was some otherworldly force? She shook her head. “I wish I could fucking tell you what it all meant. Sometimes it’s just to mess with your fucking head.”
His appetite was gone, the smell of the food making him nauseous with the memory of the party so clear and sharp right then. Sebastian could feel the eyes upon her, that worried glance, and it did nothing but make him feel worse about what had happened, worse about the reaction afterwards. "We talked," Sebastian said softly, his voice threaded with tension as though it might snap at any moment. "It didn't go well. I didn't behave well." And it wasn't as though he could take that all back now. He unclasped his hands and stretched his fingers out before curling them into fists, white-knuckled and tense, his hands shoved down out of sight moments later. "There's got to be some truth in it though," Sebastian muttered, his voice strange, unlike him. "Because I wanted to do what I did. I remember it. I felt it. And I enjoyed it, MK." Sebastian clamped down on the words, pressing his hands against the edge of the counter, his head bowed, the tension in his neck and shoulders visible.
MK, who somehow became a frank, yet careful creature around Sebastian suddenly, shook her head. “You can’t expect that kinda thing to go well y’know?” She shrugged, shooting him a pointed look at the same time, dropping her hands to the counter and spreading her fingers across the marble as if her digits were spilling across the surface. “Maybe there’s a part of you that’s frustrated or something. Maybe it doesn’t necessarily mean that. Maybe you just needed a fucking release, Sebastian.” She sighed, pushing herself up again to stand straight. “You can’t blame yourself, okay? Out of your control. That’s what it was.” It was the pinnacle of hypocrisy because MK was good at blaming herself for things almost as she was for blaming others, but she didn’t want Sebastian to wallow. Not then.
As much as Sebastian wanted to believe those words, to believe that it had been out of his control, there was a very definite part of him that knew otherwise. But he didn't voice those thoughts right then. It wouldn't get either of them anywhere, just talking in circles of guilt and blame, and that was the last thing that they needed. "Maybe you're right," he finally said, shoulders slumping as most of the tension bled out of him, glancing up and towards her, a sliver of a smile pulling at his lips. Maybe she was right. It would be nice if she was, and it would be even better if he could believe that.