Liam Roberts is an (author) wrote in doorslogs, @ 2013-07-11 21:52:00 |
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Entry tags: | castiel |
Who: Liam
What: A change
Where: The apartment he shares with Ben
When: After this and this
Warnings/Rating: Some sads.
Liam stared at the journal for a long while after the disastrous conversation with the person he had hoped, hoped, hoped had been Seven. Knowing that it wasn't, and then the reaction to their encounter at the party had gone a long way in kicking a man who was already down. The realisation of what he was, what he liked, particularly when it came to those sort of intimate encounters, was something that Liam was still very much coming to terms with. It made him think of Tristan, of that dark chapter of the last year that had left him broken and scarred, both physically and mentally. And it wasn't getting any easier.
Therapy helped. Rehab had helped. He knew other ways to cope, but it didn't stop these sort of things from hurting. And after the conversation, the phone call, after those moments that had ended in shame, Liam made his way back to his room, closed the door soundly behind him, and crawled onto the bed. Ben was supposed to be back later. Go-karts and Thai. He had been excited for it until everything started cracking, until he started aching.
Liam knew quite well that the world wasn't an easy place to live, but he had hoped that maybe, just maybe, it might get a bit better now. That maybe there was some light at the end of the tunnel. But as he pulled the sheet up over himself and pushed loose-fitting shorts down, the edge of his boxers going with it, he felt the scarring that rested on his hip. Tristan's initials, carved into his skin, a memory that he would carry with him forever.
As he rubbed the scar tissue, Liam went quiet, staring up at the ceiling, his gaze distant and not really seeing what was in front of him. It was a far off place that he ventured to, distant and quiet, and as he lay there, drifting, feeling the scar upon his hip, something inside shifted. He didn't notice it then, but in the days that would come, he would feel the difference. Know the difference.
And then there was peace, drifting down on top of him.
And then there was nothing else.