eddie likes to (riddlethem) wrote in doorslogs, @ 2013-04-22 13:25:00 |
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Entry tags: | catwoman, door: dc comics, riddler |
Who: Riddler and Catwoman
Where: Gotham docks > boat
When: Recentlyish
What: Riddler needs to turn off a machine. Kitty needs to bust some heads. Happening the same time as Steph's convo with her dad.
Warnings: Violence! Bustin makes me feel good.
The Gotham docks were a favorite place of any criminal, big or small. Eddie could almost hear Oswald say it was the center of underground commerce or something involving business figures and money that the green man typical drowned out with his own riddles. But, the fat beak was right, after all. This was where crime came and went, where it bloomed and shipped off to foreign shores in little bundles of mayhem and dishonest money. Riddler himself had spent plenty of time down here and he even had a base hidden just in case, but lately it had become a distant friend. Did he miss it? Maybe the buzz of it all. The feeling of preparation and doing, but he never really liked the nitty gritty of crime. Eddie was too small and smart to fit in with the goon types that overran this area.
Or, used to anyway.
Dressed in a blue windbreaker, sweatpants and a baseball cap, the green man looked like a ship’s captain. A skipper. And, there wasn’t anything remotely Riddler about him at first. Until he noticed that the docks were quiet. Come to think of it, the whole city had been quiet. He lifted his chin up with a grimace full of suspicion and shiftiness. Once, while ranting in Arkham, he had told a doctor that the city would benefit from the absence of Batman even if it was just a riddled man seeing patterns that weren’t there. Super villains were motivated by him, but petty thieves? Killers? Thugs? They still peed their pants at the sound of flapping, inky wings. No, something was wrong. And, then his expression changed to that question-marked inquisitive that everyone knew so well. Something was afoot.
He checked his watch and then played with the windbreaker zipper at his chest to make a pleasing tthuupph zzzzzrrrppth sound to baarelly reveal the question mark on his chest. Thinking, energized nerd ex-super villain with plenty on his mind.
The kitty cat had been working the docks since she'd heard from the man in green. She was terrible at checking jobs, and she was even worse at doing the due diligence that would keep another type of hired thief out of trouble. She'd always counted on her fences for that. No, Selina took jobs without looking to see if there was more to them than met the eye. But once she took them, she was very, very good at becoming someone else for a time; that due diligence she had no trouble with. People thought the cat burglar was just that - a cat burglar - but over half of her jobs had nothing to do with safes and latex. This was one of those jobs - no safe, and no latex.
The docks reminded Selina of Ra's, of the virus, and the kitty cat didn't want to think about that. It just made her thoughts stray to the Bat, out there on some death mission to Basra. Oh, the kitty cat trusted the Bat, but she wasn't sure he was up to the task of taking down any of Gotham's villains on his own. Her Bat was ruthless; this Bat wasn't. Gotham's rogues? They weren't going to go easy on Bruce just because he was a kinder, gentler Bat.
But a thrill always helped Selina focus, and this job was dangerous, which made it a thrill. She almost managed to forget Renald, bleeding in the basement of Wayne Manor. Almost. And she almost managed to shake off the eerie silence that had taken over the city. Almost.
The kitty cat had been on the docks for days, and no one paid attention to her now. She was dirty jeans and worn through sneakers. Her shirt was dingy, and wrapping assured she had no visible breasts to speak of. Her hair was a lank, dishwater blonde, and it was pulled back through a baseball cap. She had freckles, and brown eyes and that weren't memorable. She looked like any day laborer, a deckhand on hard times. And hard times? No one questioned hard times in Gotham.
Beneath all that dirt and grime, Selina had her whip wound around her waist, and she had her gun tucked in the back of her jeans. The grimy gloves she wore covered a set with retractable claws, and her boots had soles that could climb any surface.
She snapped her gum as she passed the man in the windbreaker, winding a rope as she went and not needing the question mark to know who it was. "You couldn't resist the question mark?" she asked, all smirky kitty and warm purr as she walked past his shoulders.
“Blame it on my unrealistic and colorful portrayal of OCD.” He said with a smirk to match hers. “Besides, how often do I get to break out my old swim trunks?” Well, a scuba suit wasn’t exactly swim trunks, but she got the point. Eddie retired the spandex a long time ago, but he still kept the skin tight stuff around for practical criminal uses. Of course. Eddie turned to look at her, eyes quickly moving over her gritty, Gotham normality and made a hmph noise that rattled his slight shoulders. He was getting tired of seeing things the way they weren’t supposed to be. And, the second this was over, he’d be out in the Gotham daylight in his green suit and bowler hat again like a homecoming.
“Does kitty like the quiet? I sang karaoke tonight and not a soul was stabbed at the end of my thrilling rendition of Desperado.” Eddie held a tiny, black tablet between his fingers for her. “Keep her safe.” He was going to throw the damned thing into the Gotham bay once this was over, but for now it held all the keys he needed to make Artie’s toy nothing more than a big, metal brick. In his other hand was a tiny trigger barely the size of a pencap. “You press that button when they turn it on. I’ll get there within five. If they don’t turn it on at all, we’re going to have to improvise.” But, the Riddler didn’t seem too worried about that. He planned, but more than that, he knew Artie.
"I don't think my Eddie had old swim trunks." Selina had stopped trying to figure out if the old versions of them had it better than the new ones. All that history, and the kitty cat didn't think she'd want to do the same thing for all those years in row. She liked new things, and it just sounded boring to her. But then, she was also starting to understand how and why the kitten existed in another world, and she could almost imagine that life; that made the kitty cat nervous. As for that rattled hmph, it earned him an arched brow that was unfortunately messy and nothing like its normal, sleek black. "Does Eddie have a problem?" she asked, all catlike curiosity as she moved beside him.
The quiet, now that was something she'd been hoping to stay distracted from. "It makes the kitty cat's fur stand on end," she admitted. Oh, she knew something was going on; she only hoped it wasn't a present from Ra's, something intended to cause trouble while the Bat was away. "Is Stephanie back?" she asked, unwillingly counting little bats and birds in her head, and then reminding herself that she wasn't getting involved. Whatever the silence hid, it wasn't the kitty cat's problem.
Maybe if she said that often enough, she'd actually believe it.
She took the tablet and, after looking at it, she tucked it away safely in the waterproof layer she wore beneath all the dirt and grime and wrappings. Her gaze strayed to the water, where a few small boats were getting loaded up to go out, and then she looked back at the man at her side. She tied off the rope, snapping her gum and intentionally looking bored for the benefit of the other dock workers. "Press the button. Got it. You're really swimming, or does the captain have a boat?" she asked, all curious kitty cat who still couldn't tell when this particular man in green was pulling her paw.
“Eddie spent a long time in Bludhaven. He misses cats, bats, question marks, dolls and vines.” The wistfulness in his voice suggested that yes he knew she was still the cat, but if anyone in Gotham was a champion of symbols, it was him. It was childish, but that shouldn’t have come to anyone’s big surprise. But, the next question turned his tone soft, raspy. Something that was far removed from how he talked in riddles. In fact, it made him sound like a normal man concerned about his girlfriend dealing with her estranged, bastard father. “Stephanie won’t be back until morning. She’s off choosing a fate for her father. Very dramatic stuff.” He looked up at the cat, at her dulled eyes and that snap of gum. “Like I said, a trust exercise.”
Once he was convinced she understood how the plan was going to go his expression brightened back into that familiar smarmy smirk. Hands in his pockets, he shrugged, teetering back and forth on his feet. “Maybe I have a boat. Maybe I don’t. The point is I’m going to be on that ship once you call for me. Isn’t that all the kitty cat needs to know?” His smirk turned into a cheesy little smug grin and turned towards the opposite side of the docks. It was important to allow men like Riddler a couple surprises here and there.
In front of Selina was the small cargo ship that was already loaded with the sexiest machine to come out of Japan. As predicted, there were ten armed thugs (Eddie was off by two) and they were just finishing up checking the barge and communicating with Bludhaven for estimated arrival time. This was the kind of thing these thugs had done a thousand times and despite the money they were going to make off getting it across the bay safely, they seemed bored. Even crime could turn into work if you did it enough.
Selina understood what it was to miss people, to miss this smoggy city and all the terrible things that came with the dark beauty that most people couldn't appreciate. The kitty cat would never admit to being domesticated, but her paws always led her home at the end of the day, and home wasn't a greenhouse or a manor; it was a city. "The kitty cat never liked Bludhaven. Not enough jewelry stores," she said, and the grin she gave him was all Cat, even beneath the disguise. And she appreciated the distraction. She wanted to not miss the Bat, and she wanted to not worry. She'd settle for being distracted. And she'd spent enough time around this Eddie not to be surprised by the way his voice went normal and average. She recognized it for what it was, and she envied it, bright green and like she was looking at something particularly shiny that she couldn't touch. Even with Bruce, she was always the Cat. He, it seemed, could be just Eddie with Stephanie.
"If you drown, the blonde bat is going to try to kill me," she deadpanned. "She won't manage it, and the kitty cat will have to defend herself; it'll be all your fault." There was that hint of grin again, lush and promising, but never quite blossoming completely. Dock workers were never that happy, after all. "She'll make the right choice," she said a second later, wishing she didn't feel the urge to make him feel better. She was getting so soft; she hated it.
Her attention turned to that cargo ship a moment later. Without saying anything else, she walked toward it, slouch and no sway whatsoever to her hips. She was unremarkable in a blink, going to the smaller boats with their smaller boxes, and helping load up the remaining items on the cargo ship. The kitty cat didn't like the water much, but that wouldn't stop her from getting the job done, but she was hoping she wouldn't have to swim.
A few minutes later, and she was aboard the cargo ship. She did a believable impression of being nauseous as the ship took to open water, and no one paid attention to the dirty, flat-chested girl heaving up nothing on the wood. She took those minutes to memorize positions, locations and weaponry on all ten of those armed thugs. They were all Gotham-style men, standard issue, and Selina hoped it would turn into a good, old fashioned fight. She knew it would be better if this went quietly. But she was frustrated and upset, and there was nothing better than a roundhouse kick in times of misery. Well, that wasn't true. Diamonds were better, but this wasn't that kind of ship.
She washed out her mouth in the dingy excuse for a bathroom that was below deck, and she got herself lost and ended up in the room with the machine a few seconds later. She almost took out the thug that barked and asked her why she was down there, but she reminded herself that she couldn't draw attention until after the machine had been turned on. She ended up outside the main cargo hold, in a corner, her hand down the thug's pants and promises on her lips. Until, that was, the machine got turned on. Her hand became a vice, and the quiet corner housed a very unconscious man a second later. She bound him with the ties in her pocket, and she gagged him, and then she pressed the button and let Eddie know that it was time to put on his floaties.
The machine turned on with a series of important sounding beeps and hummed enough to make the floor of the cargo bay vibrate. There was one man on deck who understood how the thing worked and unfortunately for him, he was easy to pick out. A tall, pale kind of man with blonde curly hair and a boyish face that implied he had never been laid before in his whole life. The rest of the crew seemed to barely tolerate him and generally didn’t want to be anywhere near the scary sounding machine (bless Gotham for being so superstitious), which would be good for the cat and the green man later on. For now? They had to avoid some thugs. Or at least, Eddie did.
It should have come to no one’s surprise that his methods of getting on the ship involved a new piece of technology. He took any excuse he could to build a new toy, and this time it was an underwater propulsion jet that could zip through the Gotham murky water fast enough to catch up with the boat and was compact enough that he could attach it to his back like a backpack. Nigma innovation at its finest. So, now all he had to do was get into the water.
“Don’t be a pussy.” Frank called from the helm of a fishing boat they had trailing the cargo ship at a distance. Eddie snapped a grimace back at him and then a wary look down at the dark, gross water that practically reflected the giant question mark peeking out from under his blazer. He wasn’t scared, so much as unwilling to wash the Gotham filth out of his hair and mouth for the next couple of weeks. Still, he hopped out of his sweatpants and pulled off the windbreaker to reveal a glorious dark green, skintight scuba suit covered with tiny, green question marks and one giant one across his chest. He put on a pair of squared violet goggles that had a similar interface to the glasses he was always wearing, a grappling hook that attached to his arm and one of Steph’s thigh collapsible batons (sorry Steph). Eddie didn’t know how the heroes made getups like this look cool. He looked like a scrawny nerd cosplaying a green lantern.
Pulling his scuba hood on and the goggles up, he dove into the water with his handheld jet and zipped off towards the cargo boat. Minutes later, he was climbing up the side and flopped on the deck like a dying fish. Wided eyed and scrambling, he found a shadowy corner to hide in long enough to realize he didn’t know how to get to the cargo bay or where the kitty was. With a tap of his goggles, the tablet he gave her buzzed awake and showed a rough outline of the ship with a green question mark for Eddie’s location. He didn’t look like he was moving anytime soon and the goons were starting to get spooked.
The kitty cat really wanted to start kicking thugs in the face. Some things, like safes, required finesse. Some things, like boats full of assholes, required her boot. The tablet coming to life kept her from leaving the safety of the quiet hallway and stomping into the main hold and pawing at that noisy machine. She poked her finger at the tablet, figuring the general vicinity of where she was on the ship, and drawing a fingertip guided line down the schema on the screen; down two sets of stairs, past the galley, straight in the middle. The straight in the middle part was a problem, of course, because the hold was underwater, and there was no easy exit. But that wasn't a problem; in fact, the kitty cat was counting on something being difficult.
In the main hold, she could see the blond man with the curly hair, and she wondered if she was allowed to break him before Eddie found her. The kitty cat was all impatience as she stripped off layers of dirt and wrappings, letting them puddle at her feet to reveal waterproof black that was almost as shiny as her regular suit. The cowl went up, after the blonde hair fell to the floor with the rest, and the waterproof goggles sat atop her head. She was wiping the freckles off the bridge of her nose when she heard footfalls on the stairs, and she looked up, expecting Eddie in his bright, bright green.
But it was just a ship hand, on the way to the galley and with terrible timing.
Terrible timing for him.
Selina was on him in a second, a sleek flip in the small space allowing her to end up behind him on the stairs, her whip closing around his throat from behind before he even managed to sound an alarm. He gurgled, and she took him to the point of blackness before stopping. He got the same treatment as his horny little friend, and the kitty cat dragged him to the shared corner, where both men would wake up with unhappy little migraines.
She smiled. Now they were getting somewhere. She made her way to the stairs, and she looked out at the deck, in case Eddie needed help.
Eddie pressed his back against the side of the ship, realizing all too late that there wasn’t many hiding spots he could slip into. Deciding he needed to start moving, he crawled across the grated metal floor towards the stairs, leaving a trail of water behind him. And just as he was about to reach the stairs down one of the thugs slipped on one of the large puddles, catching a glimpse of the green and purple. Eddie turned, gracefully sliding to his feet like Fred Astaire just barely missing a step and with a click, click, click he had the baton out and ready. “Riddler?” The thug asked, since everyone in the underworld recognized the violet glasses and the green get up. Eddie grinned, flattered he was a Gotham celebrity at this point. “Riddle me this! What can you swallow, but can also swallow us?” The thug screwed up his expression in confusion, giving plenty of time for Eddie to smack him hard in the jaw and then the kneecaps, making the poor man do a comedic, flailing fall back into the puddle. “Water, sonnyboy. Water.”
Pleased with himself, the man in green almost forgot that he had managed to alert all the surrounding thugs with his less than stealthy takedown. “Here, kitty kitty!” He shouted, scrambling for the stairs again and practically tumbling into her. Eddie slid down a couple steps like a little kid pretending it was a slide, looked up at the suited cat and grinned at her. “That’s more like it. Oh, also, there’s-” Eddie tilted his head back in the direction of incoming danger and she could practically see a wink through those purple goggles. “Well, you’ll see. Let’s use the tactical advantage of close quarters down there.” He was already crawling past her like the kitty was his very own bodyguard.
Selina thought he looked ridiculous. But that was nothing new, and the kitty cat recovered from it quickly. She watched him drag attention to himself, watched him play his silly little riddle game with the thug, and then she watched the thug fall into a puddle. A puddle, which would keep him incapacitated for all of five seconds, at which point he would alert everyone about to
See? Selina knew things would get interesting, if she just waited long enough.
She steadied him with a gloved hand when he threatened to tumble down the stairs, letting go so he could slide the rest of the way. She liked that grin. Oh, she knew it was a look at how mad Eddie could be, but the kitty cat liked his darkness, even if she wouldn't go as far approving of his lethal past. The kitty cat, she had no trouble compartmentalizing. And regardless of the Batfamily's best intentions, she really wasn't very tame.
"Are you telling me how to fight, Eddie?" she asked a second later. "Because you look like you just escaped a harrowing geek convention in that green," she teased, already moving down the stairs and waiting for the fight to come to them. It would have been easier to go up, where throwing everyone overboard was an option, but the kitty cat liked risky fights.
Three men crowded into the stairwell at once, and Selina counted the weapons first - one gun, two knives. Oh, this was getting better. "Want to play, boys?" she asked, fully aware of Eddie hiding behind her. She moved forward a moment later, all the sway that had been missing on the docks back in full force. The gun wavered, and she turned her attention to it first. It would ricochet down here, and the last thing they needed was a sinking boat. She grabbed one of metal stair railing that were screwed to the wall, and she used it to flip herself over the two men with the knives. There was a sick snap as she bent the gun holder's elbow up, even as she landed on the step in front of him. "Tsk, tsk," she said, as the gun fell into her palm.
“I look dashing!” He shouted, sliding past her as the thugs crowded the stairwell. Eddie thought to ask her for the tablet, but his priorities were always out of order. No, first slashing and then hacking. And, by the time he finished that thought and amped himself up enough to actually fight, Catwoman had already jumped, twisted and snapped these thugs into playing nice. “Good kitty.” Eddie murmured and then immediately let out a muffled scream as the two other men started charging down towards him. Scrambling to his feet, Eddie raced off towards the main cargo bay towards the machine that was beeping awake. Of course, once he got to the machine, he wasn’t sure what he planned on doing. Two thugs with knives would cut him up before he even had the chance to surrender. Or worse they’d tie him up and leave him for Artie to gloat over.
He managed to sprint all the way to the machine and crawled inside of the cargo hold with it to the very, very back. And, that’s when he heard the click of a gun on the other side. Slowly, he turned to see the nerd scientist holding a handgun and shaking the way people do when they’ve never shot someone before. And, joining him were Knife 1 and Knife 2, slowly moving towards Eddie with grins like they were dogs who just caught a fox.
Crap.
“Just the man I was looking for.” Eddie’s voice squeaked, but then an idea hit him. “Come on smart guys, we’re in a boat. You’re really going to let your friend shoot a gun in a tight space like this?” Eddie put his hands up and looked to the other two thugs who grumbled. “You know what else is terrible in a place like this?” There was a slyness to his voice now and the two knives gave each other a look as if the green man had really lost his marbles. With a BBZZZZZTTTT Eddie’s violet goggles suddenly turned bright white and lit up the small, dark space with a blinding light before going completely dark once again. The thugs and the nerd screamed as Eddie chuckled victoriously. “Flash photography!” He shouted proudly, reaching to smack the two thugs heads together before waiting for his kitty cat savior.
Dashing wasn't quite the word the kitty cat would use to describe him.
When she finished with the gun on the staircase, she followed the footfalls of the two men with the knives. Eddie hadn't screamed, so there was a good chance he was still alive. It would be so pesky to have to find a Pit to throw him into, so she was counting on the question mark's survival. She couldn't very well bring him back to the blonde bat in a body bag. And maybe the kitty cat liked him just a little. It was stupid, but then she'd done a lot of stupid things in her life.
She didn't enter the room with the machine right away, not when she heard that squeaked voice. In fact, she almost groaned, because the squeak sounded like madness, and she had the momentary worry that he was going to try to turn the ship into a submarine somehow. She looked. The man with the gun was the danger point in the room. He was sweating like a virgin with his first hooker, and the kitty cat knew that those men tended to shoot too quickly. The knives she could handle on the way, unless Eddie took care of them first. She was about to give up on planning a distraction, and then Eddie gave her one. Sweet, Eddie. He'd earned a kiss for that flash of light.
Her goggles blocked out the majority of the blinding light, and it was kitten's play to stroll over to where Eddie's head-smashed knife boys were and toss a set of ties beside them. By the time the room went black, the kitty cat had handed over the tablet, and she'd turned her attention to the virgin with the gun, he got more personal treatment. She tapped his shoulder, pressed black sleekness to his back, and purred in his ear. "Don't be so eager." He spun, gun close enough that she could smell the gun oil. The palm of her hand connected with the underside of his jaw before he could even pull the trigger. She picked up the weapon as he fell, and she put a booted foot on his chest as he looked up at her, dazed.
"Next time, play nice," she purred at him, crouching down and tieing him up as well. She didn't gag this one, though, in case Eddie needed him for something. The kitty cat wasn't big on science or machines, and that was one big machine.
Eddie made sure the knife brothers had their hands tied before accepting the tablet, tapping the edge of it to his forehead in thank you up to meow face before turning to the machine. “That’s the kind of kid dumb goons hire to do their smart guy work for them.” Eddie told everyone in the cargo bay, awake or not. “Mousy enough to keep a secret. The problem is they’re chicken, too.” The tablet in his hand lit up in green and Eddie’s violet goggles moved with numbers in response. “But, it’s better than having a fox on your team. Especially if he doesn’t like you much. I can’t tell you how many times Artie payed for that mistake. Now come here, nerdcore, I have something to teach you.” Eddie stepped over towards the shaking engineer who couldn’t seem to take his eyes off Catwoman. Smiling, the man in green snapped his fingers in front of the boy’s face and pointed down to the tablet. “You told Artie this was secure, didn’t you? Here’s the holes you didn’t account for because you didn’t think I’d talk to the Japanese.” Eddie pointed to a couple lines of data and then switched over to logs of code that only he and the virgin could understand. The kid swallowed nervously, but nodded. “Shape up your game next time.” Eddie had decided a long time ago that the other hackers in this town weren’t anywhere near his prowess and they never would be, but giving a couple lessons to kids starting out like this felt right. Like the next time the virgin decided to take on a job like this, he wouldn’t completely screw it up. Unless the Riddler decided to crash his party again.
The kid went from grateful to stunned as Eddie turned away and continued threading his special riddles into the machine. “I can take control over it.” He said after a while. “But, there isn’t a way for me to wipe everything without the master lock.” The Riddler looked up to the Cat, gears spinning as to whether or not he’d just risk it and let the machine be forever question marked. No, he couldn’t. Stephanie would know and as long as that machine wasn’t anything more than one giant hunk of metal for the police to clean up, he’d be in the dog house. “I need that key.” Eddie snapped a look over to the kid who was already violently shaking his head. “Oh, yes. I need it.” Eddie nodded, eyes wide, innocent and a touch crazy. “Kitty? Can you tell him how important it is to me?”
Selina didn't like teams at all. The kitty cat liked working alone. When she worked alone, the risks were hers, the fuck ups were hers, and the prizes were hers. So, she took Eddie's word about the hiring and firing of thugs, and she didn't comment on it. He knew the kitty cat didn't play well with others. Even in this Gotham, everyone knew that by now. She almost missed the virgin's schooling because of her thoughts, and by the time she turned her goggled green eyes on the conversation in front of her again, the lesson was coming to an end. Huh, that was surprising. But maybe it wasn't. The kitty cat understood boredom, and she had to imagine Eddie was bored with his competition in Gotham.
And she wasn't exactly surprised when Eddie needed her for muscle. He didn't have much of his own, after all. She didn't know if he always used hired help to do his arm twisting, because she and Eddie hadn't danced in her Gotham, but she suspected so. He wasn't a sadist, and she didn't think he was the kind of man who got pleasure from hearing bones crunch, even when he was as mad as could be. No, he was a mastermind. The kitty cat respected masterminds, and she disliked them in equal measure, as a rule.
It occurred to her to be offended, but it was a fleeting thing; she was too young for the real implications to settle or mean anything to her. She hipped Eddie aside, and she stopped in front of the scared, blond-eyed boy. He was cute, in that wholesome way that said Gotham hadn't really touched him in the bad place yet. She laughed, all husky Cat, and she tipped one finger beneath his chin. Up and up, and the retractable claw was just thisfar beneath the surface of his skin without warning. He cried, and she was pretty sure he would piss himself if she kept it up. This Gotham, she hated it sometimes. "Tell my friend what he wants to know," she said, hand sliding down, down, down to the boy's throat, where the steel claw pressed ever so intentionally against the skin at one side of his throat. "And we won't hurt you. If I'm feeling generous, and the kitty cat is, I'll even put you on a boat going somewhere else. Would you like that?" she purred, knowing the combination of claw and the fear of his employers would do the trick. "Tell Riddler what he needs."
And she realized, then, that her days in the nest were over. As soon as news of this got on the street, she'd be back in with the rogues. Easy as that. She wasn't sure if that was a good thing, or if it was a bad thing.
Eddie stepped aside and pretended to give all his attention over to the tablet in his hand. The second he got the code this thing would be finished and he knew the cat could get it out of this kid. But, he was listening. He was listening to husky purr that he knew back when the kitty cat wore purple and a cape. Listening for any kind of waver in her voice that would indicate she didn’t want to be Gotham’s favorite feline and made a tiny noise in the back of his throat when she was all swaying confidence and claws. A noise lost in the beeping of the machine and the whimpering of the boy, but it almost sounded like a super villain’s version of amen.
“See how nice we can be?” Eddie mumbled after the cat, removing his goggles so he could give a keen, dark look at the boy that told him all he needed to know. Eddie and Selina? They were raised to be dangerous. His father beat him until every bone had been broken twice and Selina was a Gotham orphan. If they hadn’t accepted a little darkness into their lives, they’d be dead by now. But, not this kid. This kid could escape Gotham with his life and a good story to tell his chess club. So, he nodded and gave Riddler what he wanted which earned that bankrobber smile from the man in green. In seconds, the machine started making distorted noises like it was catching static interference and then the large interface on the side turned black with a bright green question mark. “Goodbye, my Japanese flower. You were a very sexy girl that was very hard to please.” And with a swipe, the machine hummed to a permanent sleep. Eddie put his hand delicately on its metal side, head bowed solemnly before looking up to Selina.
“So, let’s see. Gun, knives, nerdcore.” He counted off the thugs on his fingers. “That’s four. That means we have six left?” Eddie stood up and smiled at her. “Wanna cause a mutiny? Or should I jump overboard and call it a night?”
Selina had no idea she was being listened to so carefully. She forgot, at times, that Eddie had known older, different cats. If she thought about it too long, she started to worry about how she measured up, and worrying just wasn't what the kitty cat liked to do. Forgetting was convenient, and she could do it with the ease of the young. Maybe it would be harder some day, but not yet, not just then. She smiled when the little blond gave up the information, and she petted beneath his chin after, a soothing touch that didn't involve claws. She gave him a kiss, then, lush warm that left him reeling, and she laughed a husky kitty cat laugh as as she tugged on the front of his shirt, pulling him along as Eddie silenced his noisy little toy.
As for next steps, well, the kitty cat liked to keep her word, which meant the blond needed a Get out of Gotham Free card. As for the rest, she considered. "We need to leave someone behind to tell the tale," she said, an entertained little smirk on her lips. "But that doesn't mean I can't play with the mice that are left." She looked at the blond. "Does it?" she asked him, watching him stammer his response. He was going to disappear and this night would be the story of his life. It would be the thing he told his grandchildren, and that was what being the Cat was about, wasn't it? More sex and legend than a little girl in a catsuit playing at being all grown up.
"I vote for mutiny, but then the kitty cat always prefers causing trouble." She quirked a brow behind the goggles. "Do you want to take our little friend away, or does the Riddler want to stay behind and play?" Because the kitty cat? She was going to cause trouble, whether he went for a swim or not. After all, she still had some adrenaline to get out of her system, thanks to a pesky mafioso in the basement of Wayne Manor.
Eddie trailed after Selina and her new blonde toy. His duties as loyal and caring boyfriend were done for the night, even if the fact Stephanie hadn’t called him yet left a knot in his stomach. Well, there wasn’t anything he could do about that. Except... “Mutiny it is. Kid, we’re putting you in a life vest and sending you overboard. Don’t look at me like that. I know a guy with a fishing boat who’ll take care of you. And, not in the murderery, cement shoes sense. You’ll be on your way to some pretty city of your choosing in no time.” Eddies fingers wiggled off in the air like he was sprinkling fairy dust towards nerdcore’s brand new future and snagged a nearby lifevest for him. The Riddler’s word was notoriously less reliable than the cat’s, but again it was important to note that he wasn’t a sadist or the type to kill for a good laugh. And anyhow, spitting on the cat’s good word was just bad business.
He dialed Frank from his goggles, giving him a location and a description of what needed to be picked up (one tall glass of awkward) and then turned his attention to the cat. “I want to get one of the radios to Artie. Let him know the good news. Besides, that, it’s your party now, kitty.” Eddie smiled brightly, scrambling his tablet before smashing it over and over along the hallway and then stairwell railing like a toddler who got ahold of his parent’s smartphone. The Japanese sweetness was dead for good, but Eddie didn’t like giving out any of his code for free. Up the stairwell, he could already hear thugs giving orders to each other and Eddie started counting on his fingers how many were supposed to be on the ship. “I hear at least five apes out there, they must have shipped a couple in for playtime. Let’s hope they weren’t stupid enough to bring anything to sink us to the bottom of Gotham Bay, hmm?” But, Eddie, in all his wacky glory, didn’t seem too worried about that. Artie was an idiot, but he wouldn’t risk destroying some expensive machine the mob paid for. Even if he didn’t know it was as good as sunk now anyway.
And, once they reached the deck, he caught sight of knives, bats and...was that a chain? Like the kind bikers used to snag rivals off hotrods? “Nice.” Eddie tugged at nerdcore, but his attention was on Catwoman. Once she cut his ties, he fit the kid with the life vest and trotted him up to the side of the ship. “Remember to push off the ship with your legs. I wouldn’t want you to get caught in the current.” He whispered to the boy darkly, the geeky lift in his voice sounding like something he would have used in a death trap. “Attention S.S. Goonship!” Riddler shouted, in all his green glory. “I’ve destroyed your cargo and now I’m appointing a new captain. But, first? A good, old fashioned, walk of the plank.” Riddler picked up a discarded gun from one of the goons before and held it at nerdcore’s back until he jumped right off the side with a splash. “Now, who’s going to be the new captain? Do I have any volunteers?”
Selina liked a good show. Her entire life was a good show. Or, well, it had been since she'd taken control of it. Sure, the kitty cat schtick was symbolic. She should have lost one of her nine lives in an alley five years ago, but those feral cats saved her, and she'd liked the poeticness of rising out of the ashes in a black suit she'd constructed from the tarp that had cushioned her fall. Oh, yes the kitty cat liked a show. But she wasn't like Eddie, wasn't all glowing mania and bravado without a hint of independant muscle to back it up. She wondered, while she was standing there, watching him make a production of forcing the blond ex-Gothamite jump, how a skinny like dork like Eddie made it in Gotham without getting killed. When he was a very small Eddie, how did he manage it? The kitty cat knew all about Growing Up Gotham. She was, just then, surprised that the man in green had stayed alive long enough to become the man in green. In that moment, she was glad they let the little scared blond nerd go; he might even live to lose that virginity of his. The kitty cat was getting soft.
The thugs were all silenced during the game of Walk the Plank, and even that chain hung uselessly silent for a moment. But Eddie's question about the next captain made them move, and they all lunged forward, all six of them. Selina just sharpened her claws, and jerked her head toward the radio. "I'll take care of this, Riddler," she said, in case some of these boys weren't local and didn't know what all that violet and purple meant.
Putting herself between Eddie and the thugs, she smiled. Oh, how she smiled. She'd learned something about herself that week. She'd learned that she couldn't stand in front of a man and kill him, not while he was all tied up and helpless. She'd learned she wasn't the Cat she'd thought she was. But this? This the kitty cat could do. And if one of them died in a fair fight. Well, they did have more weapons than her. Self defense. "You wouldn't hurt a harmless girl, would you?" she asked the six approaching men, her voice sugar-coated purr. Oh, yes, this she could do.
A quick flick of the bolas in her belt, the ones Damian had given her for Christmas, froze the thug with the chain in place. Said chain was borrowed with a purred thank you, and used when she jumped on the back of thug two; chains made such good choke holds. And thugs in chokeholds? They made such good body shields. Her body shield went down, a bullet to his shoulder that stung his pride more than anything else. Her boot to the back of his head did the rest. Thug three? Thug three should have known better than to play with guns. And someone should have taught him that a kitty cat's whip could close around the barrel and take his little toy away. Gun in hand, she approached thugs four and five, their shiny knives insignificant in their hands. She fired once, between them, and her smile said she liked pulling that trigger. Selina wasn't surprised when they turn, ran, and jumped off the side of the ship. She walked to the edge, and she looked down in the murky Gotham water. "Don't want to play?" she asked, all smirk-smug, and then she looked up at the blue night sky, before returning to the other four thugs and trussing them up like Thanksgiving turkeys.
Shame there wasn't anything shiny on the ship, but the night was still young. "Eddie," she called out. "There's a jewelry shop with the kitty cat's name on it." So it was repetitive, so what? She always did like diamonds.
If the kitty asked, which she never would, but if she asked, Eddie survived since his first big cheat by knowing people. Knowing them like a baker knew how many cherries to put in a pie or a carpenter knew how many nails to put into a chair. And while he did take his share of beatings that resulted in all kinds of fun trauma, Eddie stayed in the game by sticking to this knowledge of how people ticked and tocked. The cat could handle all these goons and a bit more, he knew that already without seeing it first hand until tonight and she’d protect him even if he deserved getting wailed on by an angry horde of mooks. Because she was good and good. So doubly good she had to chase around the shinies sometimes. Eddie liked that.
He scrambled away and watched the cat’s quick work, smiling a little to himself before picking up one of the radios dropped during the carnage. Eddie brought it to his mouth, a little out of breath but oh so smug. “Game over, Artie.” And, he threw the thing over the side of the ship before Arthur or Stephanie could dial in mad as hell as Browns tended to be. No, he was going to enjoy this before having to face reality. Looking up at the black Gotham sky with a deep breath of dirty seabreeze and pollution, he smiled. Eddie felt home. Face it Nigma, you’d be lost without a little mayhem. He thought to himself and wondered if everyone knew that already. Who would have thought he could help a bat and still get a nice little kick out of it? The compulsions were still there, but they were so deeply attached to crime and fighting the bat that they almost seemed to float away.
“Well, it looks like I’m captain. What an entirely unexpected turn of events.” He got to his feet and walked proudly over to the kitty cat, hands on his hips like Supes saving the day and whatnot. “Meow face, I will fly this ship right back to Gotham so you can hit every snobby, overpriced, old money loving jeweler with my blessing. Me? I’m going home. Eddie’s had enough excitement for tonight. He’s going to wait for his sweetheart.”
Selina watched the radioing and the tossing with the look of someone who knew what it was like to throw a communication device away before it could talk back to you. She'd lost three Batfamily comms in precisely the same way by this point. She just smiled, knowing lush lips and her goggles perched atop her head. Her green eyes were bright, calmer than the dull, nondescript of the contacts somehow. Maybe it was wrong, and maybe this kind of thing shouldn't make her feel calmer, but it did. There was still an almost-dead mobster in a basement, but he didn't matter as much as he had an hour earlier. Not a bad night, and she intended to turn it all the way around before sunrise.
She leaned in, and she pressed a warm and linger-lush kiss to Eddie's cheek. "That was for something, but the kitty cat can't remember what," she said honestly. She'd remembered the kiss, but not the reason for it. Particulars, they weren't very important to the kitty cat. "Take us home," she added.
Home, to Gotham.
Eddie gave her a sweet little smile, all geeky and sly as his dark brown eyes looked up to meet her bright greens. If she was feeling observant, there was a moment of genuine affection. The kind he openly gave to the likes of Harley or Muerte but knew better than to show it off to something with claws. Besides, the kitty cat already knew it was there without Eddie having to show it. No, it was better to mix it into the smarmy smartassery. “It’s because I look so handsome in a scuba suit, isn’t?” He fluttered his eyes at her romantically and swaggered back towards the stern, silently wishing for some kind of captain’s hat to signify that he was indeed in charge of this cargo ship now whether Cluemaster liked it or not. That instinct to care about what Artie thought was gone the second his goggles beeped with Morse Code from Stephanie and Eddie smiled to himself. Just glad she got through it.
Back home to Gotham. Back to the caped crusaders, the eccentric criminals and that special kind of grey area that housed everything in between.