Thea Greenberg (greengroweth) wrote in doorslogs, @ 2013-01-30 13:06:00 |
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Entry tags: | ariadne, katherine of aragon |
Who: Svetlana and Charlie
What: Marking losses
Where: The Mason family ranch, outside of the city
When: Now-ish.
Warnings/Rating: NPC death.
It was close to the end, Charlie knew. They’d moved her grandmother back to the ranch a few days ago so that she could be where she was most comfortable. She’d been put up in one of the guest rooms, given her nightgown and handmade quilt to keep her warm in the bouts of chills she had. Nurses came in eight hour shifts so that someone would always be there to monitor her condition and to sit with her while Charlie was at the Academy, her grandfather running the ranch, or when Sveta couldn’t be there. When Charlie came home that afternoon, the nurse was there to say that Sveta was in with Allison, who was in and out of fever at the moment.
“You might want to spend some time with her this evening, sweetheart,” Marie, the evening shift nurse, suggested gently as Charlie put her bag down and shrugged out of her sweater.
“How much time does she have left?” Charlie didn’t want it sugar coated. They’d waited nearly two weeks to tell her the truth about her parents. She didn’t want to be blindsided by her grandmother’s death, or given false hope. She wanted the truth so that she could deal with the reality of the situation. Yet another parental figure was being taken from her and there was nothing she could do. At least this time, she was there for her grandmother.
“She’s on borrowed time already, Charlie. I’m sorry,” Marie said quietly, mindful of the others who might overhear. Brandon, Charlie’s grandfather, bustled in a moment later to greet Charlie before heading out the door himself. It made the blonde smile.
“He’s smoking again?” Grandpa only ever did that when he was stressed and this certainly counted. Marie only chuckled and nodded, before Charlie decided she’d better go see her grandmother. She walked into the bedroom and went right to her grandma, giving her a kiss on the forehead before going to greet Sveta.
Svetlana had done her best to be here. It was hard, but everything was hard, and it was down to the point where she was getting careless. Someone was going to scope this place out and realise how much family she had, how many connections. It could be dangerous. But the idea of staying away, now, it was impossible. What could Leonid do, threaten to kill a dying woman? Threaten to destroy the ranch? He should have been happy, she thought, knowing that there were more people who needed her, who would prevent her from vanishing. Wasn’t that what he wanted? But it was hard to care about all that in a sickroom.
Still, Sveta wore the strain of it all heavily. She had none of her usual glamour, just a pair of old, dark jeans and a sweater, no jewellery to be seen, not even a wedding ring. Her thick red hair was bound up in a messy knot, and there were dark shadows under her eyes, more like bruises than anything else, and without her usual vibrantly red lipstick, she seemed pale, her mouth a firm line. Still, it quirked into a smile for Charlie, a faint thing. “Hey, kiddo,” she said softly, catching her hand to squeeze it tight. She didn’t know what to say -- if this had been her mother, she would have been preparing to sit shiva, to call the rabbi and make the arrangements, to cover all the mirrors. She decided, absently, that she’d cover the mirrors and stop the clocks anyway. Maybe it was superstition, but at least it was something to do. “Glad you made it back from school.” In time was the unspoken coda, but there was no need to say it. The pale, fading woman in the bed said enough.
For years, the only family Charlie had known were her grandparents. She had quite a few aunts, uncles, and cousins that sent birthday cards, but she didn’t know any of them exceptionally well, save for the older ones. The ones who would come to visit before her parents died. Seeing Svetlana now, reconnecting, made her wonder if she should’ve reached out to everyone sooner. She’d taken the death of her family so hard, rightfully so, but she’d never really recovered to the point where she was ready for an influx of family. Having Sveta there meant she wasn’t so very alone and that was comforting. “Hey,” she replied softly, returning the squeeze of her hand before taking a seat next to the redhead. “Thanks for staying with her. I wish it would’ve been under better circumstances,” Charlie added, glancing over at her grandmother.
There was so much to do still, to prepare. While Charlie didn’t identify with any religion, her grandmother was a practicing Catholic and there were arrangements that would need to be made regarding a wake and funeral, plus notifications to the entire family. Charlie didn’t want to go to the funeral or the wake. Those were what her nightmares were made of, though the coffins were always for her parents and little brother. Sometimes, if it was a good dream, there was another box there for her. She didn’t want to go through the process again, but she was glad Sveta had been able to come. The redhead was a comfort, one Charlie desperately needed. “Did you say your goodbyes yet?”
“Yeah,” Sveta said. “The priest’s been and gone, too. That was a bit awkward, but we all survived.” It was almost funny, all the mundane details of dying. At least their grandmother was giving them enough advanced warning to make it somewhat graceful, as graceful as any of this got. She had to give the old girl that.
Charlie was relieved that she’d missed the priest. She only went to church when she was guilted into it, which had been the first Sunday after she moved back to Las Vegas. Before that, the last time she’d been to a church voluntarily was the funerals of her parents and brother. Understandably, she wasn’t all that eager to have anything to do with religion any time soon. “Thank you for sitting through that,” she said softly. She knew it had to have been a little awkward. Sveta deserved a medal after all of this. Charlie looked over at her grandmother. “I just wish she’d go so she wouldn’t be hurting anymore,” she admitted softly.
“You and me both, kiddo,” Sveta sighed. Her right hand drifted to her left to fiddle with her wedding band, but it wasn’t there, and the gesture resolved awkwardly. She felt as if she had been glued here, glued to this room, this house, save for the brief time she took for herself to go back to her own apartment to sleep and eat. It was beginning to wander into mind-numbing, and she felt guilty for it. “But these things happen on their own timetable. She probably want Grandpa with her when it happens, anyway. Not us youngsters.”
Charlie reached for Sveta’s hand with a smile. “I know you’ve been here so often lately. I really appreciate it. If there’s anything I can do, just let me know okay?” She gave her older cousin’s hand a squeeze and a moment later, a dull, neverending beep replaced the steady beep-beep-beep of the heart monitoring equipment. Charlie winced, knowing what that meant even before the nurse entered the room, her grandfather not far behind. She let go of Svetlana to move to her grandfather’s side, giving him a comforting hug as they waiting for the nurse to officially pronounce Allison’s time of death. She didn’t cry, not then. Her eyes watered a little but she was trying to be strong for her grandfather, who broke down as soon as the nurse moved out of the way. Charlie looked helpless as she awkwardly patted her grandfather’s shoulder. She really just wanted to be anywhere but there and suddenly, 1800s Paris came to mind. Weird, but she didn’t think too hard on it because her family was more important than whatever was going on in her head just then.
Sveta sat there for a long moment, just looking, her eyes bleary. Then, finally, she whispered, “Baruch atah Adonai Eloheynu melech ha-olam, dayan ha-emet.” Like an automaton, she rose, opened a window a crack, then left the room, slowly doing as she had decided to do -- covering mirrors and stopping clocks, the concrete details she could fix upon and do something about.