Who: Helena and Tim What: Hels goes to talk to Timmy about the warehouse party Where: Rooftop in Old Gotham When:After this Warnings/Rating: Angst, unresolved issues, and mentions of sex (non graphic)
Spencer was being mean. That was Tim’s conclusion after finally being allowed to cross after days without access to Gotham. Spencer was under the impression he was sulking and Tim wasn’t having any of it. He was helping. Half the gangs that bothered Gotham City were either behind bars or too disorganized to cause trouble for the city. He was debating on moving into Wonder City but Gotham was his home, despite it not feeling much like one. He had yet to speak with Bruce, or anyone save Helena and Ra’s. It was probably a bad thing, but he didn’t care. Except, all of a sudden B showed up again and he didn’t want to be mad at her, but he was. He’d needed her, needed how she made him feel after Bruce, and she’d been gone. She “hadn’t seen”, according to her. It was hard to not be bitter.
He gave her the coordinates to his location, an old tenement building, and he told himself he didn’t care if she showed up or not. If she knew who he was, he had nothing to hide dressed in his Red Robin gear. It didn’t sit right, wearing the costume when he hadn’t gone on the journey, as Shiva had said. Tim wasn’t going to don a Robin outfit though, and he didn’t have anything else just yet. Maybe he’d take a page out of Spencer’s book and call himself Blackbird. He certainly seemed to be the black sheep in the family. Tim heard a noise behind him, but he didn’t give any indication. Instead, he just said, “That was 11 minutes, 24 seconds.”
Helena hadn't seen Tim that often in his Red Robin gear, but she knew it was him standing on the top of that roof. She couldn't see his face, not from the angle of her approach, but she knew it would be drawn into that almost pained look he'd been wearing lately. The incident with Bruce and Jason, the aftermath, it was all taking something out of them, but she knew that Tim was taking it particularly hard.
Not that she blamed him. And she hadn't meant to make him angry on top of that, but there was no taking back knowing. It was only right that he choose if he wanted to know. Not that it would make this easier, but Helena would have kept her silence if that was what he wanted.
Walking up behind him in her standard purple Huntress uniform, she stood at his side, silent for a long moment before nodding. "Had to change first."
Tim froze. His eyes were wide at first, when he turned to look at Helena. Helena. No, B couldn’t have been Helena. She would’ve said something. She definitely would have said something. He started to chuckle, calmer by leagues. “Glad to see you’re back on this side of the door, Hels. Still liking the new girl?” Oh well. It was a little disappointing that B decided she’d rather wash her hands of him, but better to get all of the disappointment out now.
The chuckle surprised her and Helena turned towards him, just watching for another moment before smiling. "She gives me a lot of time. We have a schedule." The smile widened a bit there, because it really was fair and far more than she'd ever gotten with Tristan, but... Tim. Maybe she shouldn't have worried after all. "And yes, I'm still liking her. She's still good." She paused and finally looked away from him, gaze traveling over the buildings before them. "I wasn't trying to frustrate you. I just thought it should be your choice."
He was glad to hear that she was getting along so well with Morgan. There was still a part of him that refused to get close to her though because one bad word from Helena, and he’d get rid of her too. She didn’t deserve to be unhappy, more than the rest of them. There had to be some good in Gotham. Unfortunately, all of that good was washed out by two small sentences. Tim was fairly certain his jaw dropped when he turned to look at her again. “Wait, it was you? On the- And we-.” He paused and then just turned back to the skyline. Selina was going to kill him if she found out, after torturing him and ruining what was left of his life. And Bruce! Tim wanted to believe that he didn’t care what Bruce thought, but that lie wouldn’t stick. He felt confused, twisted inside, as he tried to balance his feelings for B with his feelings for Helena. Weren’t they technically siblings? Not by blood, but on paper? Was that bad?
“Well. I guess I’m not so good at being a detective anymore either.” That was depressing.
The surprise he showed caught Helena off guard. He didn't -- "You didn't realize it was me," she said quietly, understanding that when he first saw her, he hadn't made the connection. That was why he chuckled, that's why he acted like everything was okay.
Her gut twisted up again, eyes squeezing shut before she turned her focus outward, away from him and towards the alleyways between the buildings. "You told me more about you than I told you about me," she finally said dully, like her sails had been slashed. All of the conflicts now that he was dealing with were the same ones she'd had to.
They'd never known each other before this. She didn't exist in his world or he in hers, but they were both here, now. Existing. Or something like it. "I'm sorry."
As soon as he heard her apology, Tim stopped thinking about himself. He reached for her hand as he turned to look at her, eyes wide and clear beneath the mask. “Hels...there’s nothing to apologize for. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have gotten so mad at you, especially since I was the one that kept you out of the door.” He was genuinely sorry and all he wanted to do was hug her, but now he was worried it was awkward.
“I didn’t want to hide who I was from you. I had fun that night.” He smiled. “I was actually setting up a room at Drake Manor as a dark room of sorts so we could meet and talk while still saying anonymous. I guess that wouldn’t have worked out so well, huh?” It was weird, a little, but he was trying to make it less weird.
"I wouldn't have ignored you," Helena said, vehement as her gaze caught on his. Was that why he was so mad? Because he thought that she had been ignoring him? Making up some story about why she couldn't respond to his post?
If she'd been in Tristan, she would have looked back at the posts she missed, but once she came through there had been the matter of finding out what had happened while she was gone – and she hadn't. Maybe she would have caught it then if she had looked, but now it was too late for regrets.
And where Tim might have felt awkward, she still leaned into him, touching her shoulder to his. It wasn't a hug, but it was... enough.
"Oh god," she started, laughing as her eyes gentled around the edges. "Anonymous sex? Not really my thing." Even afterwards there had been the urge to know who he was, to connect. "I wanted to know who you were before you knew who I was."
“I know you wouldn’t have. I do,” Tim promised her. He wasn’t mad, not at her. Mad at himself, mad at Bruce and Selina, Ra’s and Damian. But not her. How could he possibly be mad at her? She leaned into him though, so he took that as a good sign and moved his arm around her shoulder. His head tilted to the side, leaning against hers, and some of the weirdness melted away. Maybe, if they stood there long enough, he’d stop feeling weird altogether.
“Not sex!” It was insistent, but then he knew better. “Not at first, at least. I never would’ve rushed you into anything. I just...needed her. You. To need me, even though I know it’s selfish.” Tim sighed and closed his eyes for a moment. This was complicated, but he also knew he was possibly thinking too far ahead. “I mean that, you know. About not forcing you into anything. Not that...I expect anything, because it’s us and I don’t know how you feel about it but-” Tim forced himself to stop talking. He wasn’t opposed to trying with Helena. If she wanted.
It was all too easy to likewise reach up, her hand curling around his waist to stay close. There had been so many questions that she'd had after realizing who he was that she didn't have answers for. Would she tell? Did he even want to know? And how much of them was really up on the roof that night?
It wasn't something she would have ever done outside of the hotel's influence. She had never been hypersexual like her mother and nearly always her partners had been someone that she knew before, had gotten to know and genuinely liked. At least she knew Tim, even if she had never intended to know him quite so well as she did now.
She was silent as she listened to him, careful not to tilt her head too much and end up gouging him with her ears. "I know you wouldn't." As if he could, but she knew that he wouldn't. It wasn't in Tim to do that. "I don't -- I don't know," Helena said quietly. She couldn't change how she felt about men and her lack of attraction to them, nor could she change what had happened between them. "I do need you, but right now I need you as my friend."
That night on the roof felt like a lifetime ago, worlds away, and while he wasn’t the type to randomly have sex with someone, he’d still felt a connection there. If he was honest with himself, there were some feelings he had for Helena that couldn’t exactly be easily explained away. Ra’s already knew how much she meant to him, or at least had an idea. Knowing that it was her he’d touched, her he’d held, kissed, and caressed, somehow made it mean a little more in the very back of his mind. Maybe she was the light he needed to hold onto.
Except all of that was shattered in a heartbeat, with one simple word. Friend. Tim tensed for a moment, disappointed and upset that she didn’t want him, but Spencer was quick to soothe his wounded pride before he said anything stupid. “Okay,” he replied, and it sounded a little hollow, but he was trying not to let on about how he was feeling. “I’m just glad you’re back,” Tim added after a moment, giving her a slight squeeze.
They were too close for her not to feel him tense at that word and her mouth twisted up at the corner. Friend. Right. And she squeezed back, trying to offer him whatever comfort she could. "I know no one likes being there, but that's what I need from you." There were too many questions, too many things where she didn't know the answer for her to feel comfortable with anything more.
"I don't want to lie to you. I don't know that I want more than that. I don't want to say yes and realize I don't and end up hurting you more. I don't want that." She paused, considered, her fingers drumming against his side. "What happened that night was special. Confusing, but," she paused, fidgeting against him as she considered her words. It had been confusing, more for her than for him, but she'd meant it whenever she said it wasn't bad. "I don't regret it."
He winced, this time in embarrassment. “I’m sorry. I’m not...it’s not you. I’m not mad,” he reassured her. Tim turned a bit more, so he could hug her properly. “You gave me what I needed when I needed it. I can give you what you need when you need it,” he replied softly. It wasn’t exactly where he wanted to be, but at least she was still talking to him. Now he knew, too, how he felt about her, at least a little more clearly. It was a weird situation all around, considering the admission she’d given when they first spoke after the party.
“I appreciate you taking my feelings into account. You shouldn’t be worrying about me, not with everything else going on,” Tim said. She had her father to worry about, not to mention her mother. No doubt, she wanted to get her hands on Crane too. “But you shouldn’t get hurt either. It’s weird, yea, but I liked you from the moment I met you. Maybe nothing would’ve ever happened if it hadn’t been for the party, or maybe it would have. We’ll never know. I am glad it was you though, Hels. So, whatever you need. Just ask me first, okay?” Need me, he was saying. He smiled and kissed her forehead. “I don’t regret it either, Hels. Not for a second.”
She relaxed into his side, eyes closing for a moment, a small smile crossing her lips when she felt his against her forehead. "I'm not. Hurting." She was confused, yes, but she wasn't hurting because of what happened between them. Tim hadn't hurt her and as much as she wouldn't have normally done what she did on that roof, she'd consented to all of it, willingly went to him for more.
"And I do worry about you, but I'll ask you first," Helena promised quietly, her eyes opening again so she could look at him. "Thanks. For what you and Spencer did. I'm not sure I ever said that."
“Good, I’m glad,” he replied, when she said she wasn’t hurting, physically or emotionally. That was the last thing he wanted for her, on top of everything else. It was touching that she was worried about him, but he shook his head. “Nothing you need to worry about, okay? This whole thing is a mess, but I’ve got the gangs under control and Ra’s is still running around. I’ve got a couple leads but...nothing’s panned out just yet.” It was disappointing, sure, but he’d find a way. Ra’s was the big catch, the main prize in all of this, and Tim was determined to take him down. She interrupted his train of thought by thanking him. “I’d do it again, if you need. You know that, right?” He’d keep her safe.
"Doesn't change much, Tim." It wasn't a worry that he couldn't handle himself, Helena trusted that the Bruce that trained him had made sure that he could, but they were all still human, no matter how much training they had. And they could all be hurt, even Bruce. This incident had proven that. "You're not alone. You don't have to take everyone down by yourself," she pointed out. That's what Bruce thought he could do, handle whatever happened with Scarecrow, and look what happened. "I do know that, as long as you know I'd do the same for you."
“I know, but I thought it might help, a little.” He offered her what he hoped was a reassuring smile, but he couldn’t be certain how it was coming across. Tim didn’t feel all that sure about anything lately, and that wasn’t exactly a good thing. “I know I don’t, and I’m not...exactly trying. It’s just...I need something to focus on, something I can change. I know Ra’s. I know how he works, and I’m the closest thing to a detective after Bruce. It makes sense if I give him a target. If I need help, I’ll let you know. I promise.” And he meant it, but the chances of that happening were slim to none. Not when Ra’s had been making remarks about her that didn’t sit right with him. That she offered to take care of Spencer if necessary, made him chuckle. “The worst thing Spencer’s done is start keeping me out of Gotham and keeping secrets from me. He likes Morgan, for what it’s worth. Thinks she’s nice.” Tim didn’t particularly like her, but he tried not to let that show too much.
"She is nice," Helena said, grinning. He was a big part of the reason why she suddenly had a new person and she liked this one so much better than Tristan. It was nothing like being in the other woman's mind and though Helena knew the chinks in Morgan's armor, the other woman wasn't going to kill anyone. She didn't have that in her. Some sadness, some lingering resentment over Tomas, but the biggest difference was that Morgan didn't hate her and wanted to work together so they both got what they needed. Most of what they needed, Helena amended as she glanced back to Tim. "You don't need to do this alone."
“I’m glad you like her. That’s what’s important.” And it was, even if he didn’t like her, though it was primarily because she acted like she knew him. Plus, she knew things about him that he’d never even heard of, which meant it was either from somewhere past the point he came from, or a different version of him. He didn’t care what it was, he only wanted to not hear any more of it. Ever. And the less Helena knew, the better. The less anyone knew, the better. “I know. I know what my limits are, Hels. And I’m not afraid to ask for help when I need to.” His eyes narrowed, his jaw set, but the unsaid commentary wasn’t directed at her. It was directed at Bruce, at Jason, at Stephanie. Not her. “It’ll be fine.”
She could feel the tension in his body again with the last few sentences and held tighter, purposely smiling up at him. "I know you," Helena said lightly, reaching out to gently poke him in the chest, the same place where he'd had his medals that night. "I know how you get when you're determined." And she didn't want to see him hurt, not so he could go after Ra's or finish up his work with the gangs single handedly. Tim would burn himself out doing that type of thing.
He caught her hand almost instinctively, holding it to his chest. “Someone needs to take care of him, Hels. Someone needs to take care of the city. Gotham is in trouble and with everyone acting the way they are...” he trailed off, looking out over the horizon. “It can’t be forgotten, can’t be pushed to the side. Ra’s wants to bring the city to its knees. He can’t be allowed to do that. He can’t.” Plus, there was that small issue of what he last remembered. Ra’s offering to help him find Bruce with the help of the League of Shadows. He wasn’t proud of it, of seriously considering the offer, but he’d make up for it here. Bruce wasn’t in any condition to take care of the man anyway.
Hels paused, not pulling her hand from his grip but it took a moment before she relaxed, her fingers splaying wide across the chest of his suit. "I'm not saying you should," she said quietly, looking at the way her gloved hand looked across the colors of his suit before she finally dropped it and swallowed hard. It took her a moment before she could look up at him again. "Don't do it alone. We don't need more people thinking they can." There were some things they could handle alone, but handling Ra's along wasn't all that unlike Bruce trying to handle the Scarecrow by himself.
Tim frowned slightly. If anyone had any hope of getting through to him, it was Helena, and not just because of their tryst on the roof at that party. It was just how their relationship had developed, how much he trusted her. “I won’t,” he promised, looking down at her. Yet, all he could think about was how beautiful she looked, how concerned she was over him, and the desire to kiss her was overwhelming. Tim started to lean down, moving barely a fraction of an inch, before turning away. He’d promised. “I know I can’t do it alone, Hels,” he admitted instead, and he was almost disappointed in himself because of it.
She might not have had a lot of experience in romantic things -- having a dad that was Batman, a mom that was Catwoman, and both the JLA and the GCPD on speed dial tended to bring any chance of dating to a screeching halt -- but she knew what that look in his eyes meant when he started to tilt his head down towards hers and turned away. He'd made a promise and he was living up to it. So why did it feel like a bad come down after a spike of anticipation? She didn't even like guys. She'd even tried, after the incident at the hotel and speaking to him as B and T to see if she was attracted to them, but -- no. Nothing at all. Not even a twinge. Her gaze dipped again and she nodded at his words. "Good." It took her a minute to look back up and smile, but it wasn't forced. "You can't have all the fun by yourself. You've got to share."
It was hard to ignore the warmth he felt starting to build inside him. He’d been angry, cold and harsh, ever since the whole debacle, but it had started to slip away a little bit when he’d hugged her through Spencer and Morgan. It slipped away even more, now that he had her back, now that he knew it had been her on the roof, that anger started to fade away just a little bit more. It was slow going, a process, but it was starting and that was more than Spencer had managed. It was complicated, so very very complicated, but it was good too. Tim just hoped it wouldn’t blow up in their faces. “It’s more fun when you’re around anyway, Hels.” He gave her a gentle squeeze, looked down at her once more, but that feeling welled up again and he had to look away. He knew he should just step away completely, but he couldn’t. He didn’t want to.
"Of course it is," she said, all bright grin as she glanced up at him. "Didn't you get that memo?" The grin didn't falter as she gave him one last squeeze and moved away slightly, knowing they needed the distance. Or maybe she did. Something else to do would be a good thing. "Are you going to tell me what you're doing up here so we can have some? Or are you still trying to pick who to play with?"
Tim chuckled slightly. “It must’ve gotten lost in the mail,” he replied, biting back a quip about not forwarding his mail. As soon as she shifted, he dropped his arms, taking it as a sign that she wanted space. He’d promised. “Just watching. This place has been kind of a hotspot and I think they’re cobbling together a new gang.” He turned to look at her. “Feel like crashing the party?”
"Absolutely." Helena grinned as she turned towards the building, looking it over to determine where she wanted to enter from. There was a window close to the ceiling that she liked and with a grin to Tim, she was up and gone, knowing that he'd keep up.