bound_by_honor (bound_by_honor) wrote in doorslogs, @ 2012-08-25 19:38:00 |
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As much as Kitane loved the Bay, the cold water, and the group of happies that she had run into, on the second morning that she'd found herself turning east again, she knew it was time to go home. She missed Theo and his grouchy faces, Viserion, dancing with Ainslie barefoot in her studio, Aubrey, texting, even going to Passages and seeing Dany's world, but most of all, she missed her life in Las Vegas. As soon as she told Skye and Eagle, they were all piling into the VW bus that was the happies' home, painted in bright colors and filled with blankets and pillows, and on their way. Kitane would have gone the same way she came, but they had said they'd never been to Vegas, wanted to go and they were happy to take her back to her Theo. They'd even volunteered to take Scratch, who loved them just as much as he appeared to love her. It was a good thing. Skye drove, Eagle beside her, while Kitane stayed in the back. Moon and Jade regaled her with stories during the ride. It seemed to take much longer getting back than it had leaving, but as soon as she saw the signs for Las Vegas, she was fidgeting, staring out the windows and not listening to a damn word they said. As soon as they hit the city, she gave them directions to Turnberry, tugging on the hem of her borrowed skirt all the way there. Skye insisted that she kept it, along with the bag that the older woman had loaned her. It took a few minutes for her to stay goodbye, going through hugs and kisses to the cheek and promises that they would email her. Scratch even licked her cheek goodbye before they drove off. It was still early enough in the night for Las Vegas, the parties would just be starting or they could find somewhere to park and party on their own. Whatever they decided, Kitane knew they'd be okay. Stepping back into Turnberry felt... unusual. There was no wind, only the quiet voices of other patrons and the faint sound of the decorative pool. Without her key, she stepped up to the desk to be allowed up. Theo might be in, it was late enough that he could be, but she didn't know for sure. Theo had left very specific instructions both at Turnberry and the Wynn that if Kitane showed up, she was to be allowed to go wherever she wanted and he was to be called immediately. He was out looking for her, following Ainslie’s stupid advice to go everywhere she might’ve gone. After utilizing his network to make sure that she hadn’t been seen at the other clubs on the strip, checking in with Nicky, and driving around the desert, he honestly wasn’t sure where else he could look. He was just driving back from another pass around the city limits when his phone rang. It took him a minute to answer, fumbling at a red light, but once he did, nothing else mattered. Kitane had shown up at Turnberry and they’d let her up without a problem, just like he’d said. In the five minutes it took for him to get back, he texted Aubrey to let him know and called the Wynn to have the security team stop scanning the guests. He pulled up to the front of the building and gave the keys to the valet, not caring in the slightest what happened to the damn thing because all he wanted to do was get upstairs to see Kitane. The elevator seemed to take forever and Theo tapped his foot the whole damn time, but as soon as the doors opened to their penthouse, he was on edge. “Kitane? Sweetheart, I am so sorry,” he said loudly, moving into the apartment to try and find her. Kitane heard it the moment the elevator dinged. She was already in her room, sitting on the floor with her back against the bed, Viserion in her lap and purring at her return. Theo was home? She had almost been expecting him to still be at the Wynn, working more, but she was pleased to hear him now and couldn't stop the little grin that turned her lips upwards. Setting Viserion down with a kiss to his head, she stood up slowly, careful not to get her legs tangled up in the long, colorful skirt she still had on. "Theo?" He'd come home. He'd said he was sorry and wanted to see her again. That was all that mattered as she ran through the apartment and hurtled herself into his arms. He realized she wasn’t in the living room after a moment and wondered if maybe she was out on the balcony. He was about to head into the hallway to get to their room when he heard movement from her bedroom and turned in that direction, just in time for her to launch herself at him. Theo caught her instinctively around the waist, spinning her as he held her tightly and drew her in close. He was never going to let go of her again. “I’m so glad you’re home,” he whispered against her hair and he knew his voice was thick with emotion. He didn’t care about Ainslie anymore, or even their stupid fight. All that mattered was that she was back and in his arms, right where she belonged. He set her on her feet but he didn’t let her go, instead bending down to give her a fiercely passionate kiss. Theo knew how much she loved kisses and he was fully aware that he’d been neglecting that while he was dealing with his own insecurities. “Where’d you go? You left everything. I’ve been looking everywhere for you.” He’d been so worried about her, afraid that she’d gotten herself into trouble somewhere and he’d never see her again. Here she was though, safe and sound, and back. That was the most important part. As silly as it might have been, once she got her kiss from Theo, that's when she knew everything was okay. Her arms remained tight around his shoulders and she nearly climbed right back up his body to hold on tightly to him once he set her down, but she remained on her own two feet instead. Just for a few minutes. "San Francisco," she answered. And once she started, it all came tumbling out of her. "I had a dog named Scratch who went with me and I met a man named Bear who took me there in his big truck. I had to walk to the Bay though and there I met the happies. Skye and Eagle, who are together, but sometimes they're with Moon, and sometimes Skye is with Jade, and sometimes Eagle is with Rain." She didn't understand their names at all, but she'd often been told that her own name was unique, so she shrugged it off. "They smoked a lot but we went fishing in the Bay and sometimes we danced under the sky and when I told them I was ready to come back, they drove me here. They kept Scratch though, because he liked them a lot. "And they all slept together in the van. I usually slept with Scratch even though he itched a lot. They were good though and Skye gave me this." Any other time she might have peeled herself out Theo's arms to twirl for him, but she had yet to bother relaxing her arms around his neck. As good as they'd been to her, they weren't Theo, and she still felt safest with him. Theo had no problem keeping her close and as soon as she started explaining where she’d been and who she’d been with, he shook his head. He’d driven her to another state, to stay with a group of hippies, but there was nothing he could do to change that now. He swore he would do better in the future. “It’s beautiful,” he murmured, but he didn’t even look at her skirt. She hadn’t been gone in the grand scheme of things, but it had felt like a week at least and now he just wanted to make up for it. Without a second though, Theo swept her up in his arms, carrying her bridal style, and gave her another kiss. “I’m not ashamed of you, Kitane. I love you and if you want to tell everyone, I don’t care. I just want you to be happy and safe, and I hope you can be both of those things with me.” He carried her through the hallway and into the small den that was just before their bedroom, sitting down on the couch with her in his lap. “I was avoiding you, afraid of what you’d told Ainslie and what she was telling you. I’m not...I’m not used to talking about it, and I failed you. I’m sorry.” With Seven, he didn’t talk about his feelings, whether they were good or bad. He’d just gotten into the habit of giving the other man space when either one of them needed it and just letting it fade. It was entirely different with Kitane and now he just wanted to hold her, kiss her, and remind her of just how much he loved her. This Scratch she kept mentioning made him think that she probably needed a shower and he knew he did too, but he didn’t want to suggest it for fear that it was too much too fast. He would’ve been content to just hold her all night. She laughed when he picked her up, her legs dangling over his arm but as soon as they were on the couch, she shifted slightly, her arms around his neck. It was good that the brought it up, that once again it wasn't something that just hung around like a ghost in the air between them. "We talked about it. Skye and I? We talked about it because she's got four other people with her and I thought I was going to need a map--" She took a deep breath, pausing to focus before her mouth ran away with her. "I didn't do what you said. I promised I wouldn't tell anyone else as much as I told Ainslie, and I didn't. Not even where you couldn't see." She tucked her heels up against his thigh, forehead against his throat. "I don't want to be your secret, Theo. I won't be locked up in here like the Princess you take down to play with when you're not working. That's not me, that's not who I'm going to be." Reaching for his hand, she held it between her two smaller ones. "Other people tell me a lot of things and I don't listen, but she's my friend, and if I have questions I come to you because I want the answers. From you. Not from someone else." Giving his hand a squeeze, she finally looked up at him. "And Skye told me that I don't have to tell everyone, that I can keep it just for me and that doesn't make me a secret if I can tell other people when I want to." He felt a stab of guilt when she said she’d kept her promise to him. Theo knew he was at fault here but that just drove it home and it was all he could do to not interrupt her to apologize again. From the way she was curled up against him and the tone of her voice, it was clear that this was something she needed to say. He wasn’t going to interrupt her, even when she said things that made him want to. One arm was secure around her waist and he gave her a gentle squeeze when she said she didn’t want to be a princess locked away. He’d never intended to make her feel that way, but at least now he could improve and do right by her. That was all he wanted, particularly because there was always that nagging thought that she could meet someone her own age and leave him for something better. He didn’t want to make it easier for her to leave. “That’s exactly what I meant,” he replied, relief obvious in his tone. He pressed a kiss against her forehead and lingered, trying to find the words he wanted to say. “First and foremost, I never meant to make you feel like you were a secret. When I called to pay for your dance lessons, she asked if I was your father. I don’t-” Theo had to stop and he pressed another kiss against her skin. “I didn’t want people to say mean things to you because I’m so much older than you. I was only trying to protect you.” Clearly, he’d screwed that up. “I’m not...used to my personal life being discussed by anyone. I just value my privacy, particularly about the intimate aspects of our relationship.” He really didn’t like the fact that Ainslie seemed to know about his relationship with Seven, but they’d bring that up later. “You can tell who you want, kitten. It’s something I’m going to have to get used to.” "People say those things all the time," Kitane said with a shrug of her shoulders. She couldn't count how many times she'd been asked if Theo was her father to which she'd always responded with a no. Her father was a man she never wanted to remember. Theo was a man she never wanted to forget. "They usually ask if you're my father and then they ask if you're rich," she frowned. She never understood what that meant or why it would matter if Theo was. "I don't care about your money and you're not my father. You're my Theo." She leaned her head against his shoulder so she could look at him while they talked. "And we're living together. People are going to find out, Theo." If she'd known about all he did to find her, she'd point out that no one was really going to be surprised by them being together. "I'm okay with that," she finally said quietly, her fingers lacing with his. "I'm okay with people knowing that I love you." It broke his heart to hear what she had to say. “I’m your Theo,” he repeated in a soft whisper, a smile tugging at his lips despite himself. “I know they are. It was...unrealistic for me to think otherwise.” He swore to himself that he would do better, that he would be better, for her. Theo lifted the hand at her waist to gently run his fingers through her hair, almost absently after the first time. He’d also forgotten that she simply didn’t understand why some people might judge them for their relationship. “I’m your Theo, and I’m going to stay that way for as long as you want me,” he promised. “Can you forgive me for how badly I acted?” "My Theo," Kitane agreed, softly, affectionately. "And yes, but you can't dismiss me again. I didn't like that," she said, face twisting into a slight moue. That had been the absolute worst, when Theo had not even fought, just wanted her away from him. "If you're mad, you have to tell me. You can't stay at work forever and not see me at all." She gripped his fingers tightly with her last few words. It reminded her too much of her brother, who stopped seeing her when their mother forced them apart. His dismissal hurt. "I want to see you. All the time. Even when I'm mad and I missed you while I was gone but my feet weren't ready to come home yet." For how much he always complained internally about Sev’s lack of communication, Theo knew he’d just done the exact same thing to her. “I won’t hide at work anymore. I know I work quite a bit regardless, but I’ll work on balancing my time better.” He was learning, and although he knew this wouldn’t be the only stumbling block in their relationship, he hoped the future ones wouldn’t include her running away without any means of communication. “If you need space, next time at least take your phone with you? I had no idea where you were, if you were safe or not.” He pulled his hand free to wrap his arms around her and hold her tightly. “I was so worried about you.” She nodded to his statement about balancing his time with work better. While she knew that his job paid for everything, including this penthouse, she would trade it all in happily for more time with him. "I didn't mean to go so far," Kitane finally admitted, a bit sheepishly. "I just started going and once I was already so far, I just wanted to keep going. So I did. I didn't mean to worry you." Worry meant caring, something she hadn't really felt until Nicky and Viserion came into her life. "I'm sorry. For making you mad. And worrying you. I was fine though, once I had Scratch with me." Then, as she snuggled against his chest, "I want a dog. Can we get one?" “It’s okay,” he promised her, stroking her back for a few long minutes. He understood wanting to get far away from somewhere, but at least she hadn’t intended to worry him. Theo wasn’t sure he could handle it if she had intended to worry him. A wry smile graced his lips when she asked about a dog. “Do you think Viserion will appreciate having some competition for your attention? He already isn’t all that fond of me.” He had remembered to feed the animal, but Theo didn’t think for a minute that it mattered to the cat. He wasn’t going to deny her if she really wanted a dog though, even if he might be the one who needed to take care of it. “Why don’t we talk about it in the morning? I think we could both use a shower and I’d really like to have you in my arms tonight.” "I don't think it's because you have my attention, I think it's because you're a man with working man parts," Kitane told him succinctly. Shortly after she'd decided to keep Viserion, she'd taken him to the vet to get him fixed. It'd taken a few tries for her to understand why they called it fixed as he wasn't broken, but she'd understood that it kept him from having any kittens. Just like she took pills to -- "I forgot to take my pills!" Standing up suddenly, she hurried into the bathroom where she kept them. She was supposed to take one, every day, at the same time every day and she hadn't taken any since before she left. "Shit." Theo looked at her oddly for a moment and then tried to remember if he’d ever told her that he’d had a vasectomy. He couldn’t recall, but then she was up and running off to the bathroom, saying something about her pills. Following her with a slightly amused expression, he waited until she cursed before reaching for her. “Sweetheart, it’s okay. I had a vasectomy - I got fixed, too, a couple years ago,” he explained as simply as he could. “You don’t have to worry about that with me.” Of course, she’d have to worry if she was having sex with other people, but Theo wasn’t thinking about that. “You should be fine, as long as you start taking it again now. You only missed a few days.” He pressed a kiss against her temple before moving to turn the water on. “Shower? Or a bath?” "You got fixed?" She said and squinted at him, then looked very bluntly at his crotch. "But you're not missing anything." At least, she didn't think he was, which only reminded her that she was supposed to get a picture for Ainslie and send it to the other girl. Another time. Maybe. "And shower." The memory of him being in the bathtub with Seven was still too fresh and she didn't want to be reminded of that on her first night back with Theo. "Are you sure it's going to be okay?" She asked, still eying his crotch as she pushed the pill out of the dispenser and took it dry. "I forgot all about them while I was gone." Not that Kitane had sex while she was gone. Even as hurt as she'd been, she hadn't found comfort with anyone besides snuggling with Scratch. There was a slight blush on his cheeks as her gaze dropped to his groin, but he managed not to move his hands. There was something about the way she was looking at him that made him think he should be worried or afraid of something. He just wasn’t sure of what or why. “No, it works a little differently for humans,” he explained, nodding slightly as he pulled the stopper, forcing the water to come out of the luxurious shower head instead of the spigot. “But the effect is still the same. I can’t have any children until I have the process reversed.” Now that they were going to take a shower, Theo started to undo the buttons on his cuffs and then the ones down his chest. “It’ll be fine,” he promised, “but you can make an appointment to go see the gynecologist if you want. I don’t mind.” His shirt was dropped on the floor in the corner, where he also toed off his shoes and began undoing his belt. “Like I said, it doesn’t matter with me. Besides, we can use a condom if you’re concerned.” It wasn’t like Theo wasn’t prepared. Besides, he would’ve been perfectly okay with not having sex at all. He just wanted to hold her and reassure himself that she was really there. Steam started to rise from the shower stall, but Theo didn’t pay it any attention as he moved back over to her, pants forgotten in favor of reassuring her. “It’s understandable that you forgot,” he said softly, reaching up to cup her cheek. “I’m sorry for pushing you away like that.” Theo wasn’t sure if he’d ever be able to apologize enough for that. "Then don't do it again." Kitane said quietly as she hooked her fingers into his belt loops. She glanced up and pushed slightly into his hand. There wasn't any changing the fact that she loved his hands and loved them best when they were on her. It didn't have to be sexual, just anywhere on her was perfect. Perfect. She grinned, twisting her hips a little as she reached for his belt buckle. "No," she finally said. She wasn't concerned. "I trust you." Theo leaned down and closed the distance between them, kissing her intensely as soon as she said that she trusted him. That was all that mattered when it came right down to it and it was exactly what he was going to focus on. While she worked on his pants, he worked to divest her of her clothes, letting it all fall into a pile on the floor to be dealt with later. For now, they had a shower to enjoy and quite a bit of making up to do. |