Who: Adam Where: The free clinic When: Friday morning What: healing a big past scar Warnings: None!
Adam had always kept odd hours at the clinic, but now he found a certain amount of comfort in those early morning stretches. He left MK in bed long ago while she slept with a little bit of a guilty conscious reigning over his thoughts. It wasn't fair that he wanted to go meet Ainslie, he knew that, but it didn't stop him from making arrangements for them to have coffee. Maybe he could force whatever lingering feeling he had for the girl aside? Yes, if only it where that easy. Maddie K was going to kill him. It would be different if Ainslie didn't live in Seattle during those years, but everyone who knew the two of them could figure out how close they were. Or how they wanted to be.
The doctor watched the sun come up across the desert and suddenly wished he was somewhere that rained. For all the good business Las Vegas brought his clinic, it felt like something he had been trying in vain to shake off for months. Like never quite getting all the sand out of his shoes. It made him forget how much time had passed or even what day it was. That thought made panic rise up in him and he turned to push the clinic door open. "Betty. What day is it?" Adam asked the plump, middle aged secretary who gave him a look like she needed at least two more cups of coffee to even start her day.
"Friday."
"No. The date. What's the date?"
"July 13th..." Betty gave him a long look, but Adam had already hurried to his office. It was his old friend's birthday. The mask who died in Seattle. And, every year he'd call his sister and apologize whether she liked it or not. This was the first year, however, that he wasn't counting down the days in dread to when he'd have to face his past. Was it because he was too busy taking care of Maddie K? Or did it seem more like acting as if he felt guilty for his friend's death?
It didn't matter. He had to call the boy's sister and talk to her. He had made a promise a long time ago and it was only fair to keep up the tradition. Instead of waiting for it to be normal hours for a phone call, Adam sat down at his desk and dialed.
"Eh- hello?" A groggy voice answered after a couple rings.
"Katie. It's Adam."
"Adam? Why-" Katie's voice muffled as she sat up in her bed. There was a silence that moved between the two of them as she realized why he was calling. Why he ever called. "Is it that time of year again?"
"Afraid so."
"You don't have to keep doing this. He's- it's been a long time."
"Not long enough. Never going to be long enough." Adam sighed, realizing all too quickly that this phone call was more for him than her.
"Adam," Katie mumbled sleepily. "I'm okay. I miss him, too. But, I know why he did what he did. Don't you?"
"Of course. Told him to go do it. Helped convince him it was the right choice."
"That man who killed him would have taken so many lives if my brother hadn't stopped him. I know you haven't found him yet, but that's not your responsibility."
"Yes, it is. His life was my responsibility-"
"Not his death. Don't you get that? Not his death, Adam." Katie said firmly with the sort of tough wisdom that a young person who had to grow up too fast held. "He would have gone after that man without your advice. And, everyone knows that you would have done anything to save him. That's enough for me. It's enough."
Adam held his breath. "Don't...blame me?"
"I never did. God, Adam. No one could blame you for what happened. He was the best mask Seattle had ever seen and you were always there to support him. How could I ever blame you for that." Adam could hear her faintly smile on the other end. "He would want you to keep patching up masks and encouraging them. That's what you were always supposed to do. You know that."
"Other people still-"
"Other people are wrong." Katie's voice dropped firmly, leaving Adam in a stunned silence. It was like something heavy had detached from his chest and floated away from him. He knew she was right. He had known ever since he stopped relying on drugs to fight off the pain. Wallowing and blaming himself were things the Adam in Seattle would never do. Things his old friend would tell him to stop.
They sat there, quietly, for what felt like hours.
"Thank you, Katie." Adam said gently.
"If you call me again, you better have some good news." She warned, smile creeping back into her voice.
"I promise." Adam smiled back, slowly hanging up the phone long after she had disconnected. He sat there until the first paitent arrived, wondering why his mind suddenly felt so much calmer.