Ariadne (building_dreams) wrote in doorslogs, @ 2012-07-09 17:39:00 |
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Bianca hadn't been to the cemetery since her mother died. It had been seven long years and a lot had changed but now all she wanted was to just talk to her mom. She'd gone to see her father, to fill his house with music for hours on end. It hadn't helped and he'd only asked her what was wrong. She couldn't bring herself to tell him what she'd learned or even how she'd even gotten it. Ariadne wasn't something to be discussed with her father for any reason. They'd accepted that Becky's death was an accident, just as they'd accepted the same about her mother two years later. Accidents that had broken their family and set her on the path she'd traveled. As she walked along the paths of the cemetery, Bianca tried to make sense of things. A prayer filtered through her mind and she spoke it without hesitation. to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference. Living one day at a time; Enjoying one moment at a time; Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace; Taking, as He did, this sinful world as it is, not as I would have it; Trusting that He will make all things right if I surrender to His Will; That I may be reasonably happy in this life and supremely happy with Him Forever in the next. Amen." Bianca wasn't religious enough to believe that a prayer would comfort her but it had comforted her mother after Becky's accident. For both her mother's sake and her sister's, she hoped that there was some higher power looking after them. The tears started to form the closer she got to their graves and as she turned down their row, a single sob escaped her. There was a reason she hadn't come back but she needed something. Every fiber in her being screamed at her to go after Evan, to tell him what a horrible person he was for taking her sister, for destroying not only Becky's life but the lives of quite a few others. How dare he not still be in jail? She hated him and she'd never even spoken to him. Those thoughts were shelved for a moment as she came up to Cassandra's grave marker first, Becky's next to it. Her mother's gravestone had room still for her father's name, to be added of course when he passed. Becky's though, only had her name. They'd bought the plot next to theirs off the couple that owned it, wanting the family to be together. Bee still remembered the funerals, despite her best efforts to forget. "Hi Mom," she greeted quietly, sitting down on the grass in front of her mother's headstone. Somehow, she could still manage a smile even as a flood of emotions threatened to overtake her. All of this wasn't to say that she didn't care about her sister. That would have been a vicious lie because despite her sister's bad habits, Bee did love Becky. How could she not? Even after everything, she could still remember her older sister, handing her that stupid rag doll for being such a brave little girl. Did it hurt that Becky had chosen booze and a boy over her? Absolutely, but if Becky was happy...all she could do was hope that Cory would be enough to get her clean, or that somehow, Becky would come to that conclusion herself. She hadn't been lucky enough for that. "I know who killed Becks. He's...he's here, in Las Vegas. I have...I have this voice, this person in my head. She's...friends with the voice in this guy's head. Evan's his name. He...It's not fair. Why is he out, walking the streets when Becky's here buried six feet in the ground?" Her fingers slipped through the blades of grass as she tried to make sense of it all. "I talked to Cory, too. I wish you were here, Mom. You'd be so much better at this than I am. He...he feels responsible, I think. She never would've changed. Right?" For all the confidence she displayed in her conversation with Cory, there was still that seed of doubt. Could Becky have gotten better? What would it have taken? Suddenly, she was angry with Evan for taking that choice away from her sister. She might've changed, or at least she should've been the one to kill herself with all of her drinking. That's how it should have happened, not some stupid accident. "I tried to tell him that she wouldn't have. He wants her back and I- I don't blame him. He loved her, maybe more than the rest of us did because he loved her for who she was." Emotion was thick in her voice and she was grateful that no one was here to listen to it. "And that's just Becky. Wait until-" Here her voice caught and the tears finally started to fall. "Until I tell you about Andrew. He...god, Mom I need you. Dad does what he can but it's not the same. It's not you." Bianca took a minute to calm herself down because she just needed to say it. "Andrew's grandfather killed someone, right in front of him. He feels responsible but I can't-wont let anything happen to him. I can't loose him too. Mr. Mumford is going to ruin him, twist him into some cruel, ruthless person. He's so much better than that. He can be so much more and he just can't see it. I hate Wayne Mumford for doing this to him. Andrew deserves so much more." He was a brother to her and she'd do whatever it took to keep him safe, out of jail, and off the hook for whatever Wayne fucking Mumford was involved in. "You'll see, Mom. I'll help Cory and Andrew. I'll set it right. I promise." What else was there to do? Bee turned to Becky's headstone. "I hope you really loved him, Becky. He doesn't deserve this, just like the rest of us. Maybe...maybe I can help. I'll try because I love you too and I know I did an awful job of showing it while you were alive." She stood and her fingers traced the lettering of Becky's headstone before doing the same for her mom's. "I'll make this right." Her promise extended to Ariadne, Arthur, and Eames as well, though she didn't voice that part. |