Androgynous Beauties

ZACK IS IN THE NEW KINGDOM HEARTS GAME OMG OMG OMG

This is the one for PSP, right? Or am I going to have to shell out for a DS?

Or, an account of doombuggie's vast awesomeness.

On my last visit to MHMR, I signed a form allowing doombuggie access to my information there. There are times when he can describe my symptoms better that I can, and times when he has a better grasp on what's up with my meds. And there are times when I really need a friend to advocate for me.

Yesterday was one of those times.

I had an appointment with a nurse I hadn't seen before. I introduced doombuggie (by his legal name) as my advocate, and confimed that I'd signed a consent form. She did not look happy about me having an advocate present. There were only two chairs, and I was going to cede the empty chair to doombuggie, because the chilly weather can't have been kind to his fibromyalgia. That was when the nurse snapped "Which one of you is the patient?". Now, neither of us has an gender-ambiguous name or appearance, and I'd already introduced him as my advocate, so clearly she wasn't in any doubt, but merely harassing us. Anyway, she insisted I take the chair, and when I tried described my symptoms, she kept interrupting me and contradicting me, especially when I tried to describe my sleep patterns.

Then she started giving me a hard time for coming in to see her and not my regular doctor's nurse, and for coming in on a day when my regular doctor wasn't in. Now, this isn't something I have any control over; the appointment clerk sets up the appointment and you take what they give you. She wouldn't refill my meds, I'd have to come back to see the other nurse on a day my doctor was in. I was shaking badly at that point, and doombuggie just let loose. Said her behavior was uncalled for, she was rude and unprofessional, her actions were making my symptoms worse... I admit I fled down the hall at that point, partly because I was wigging out, and partly because I was trying not to burst out laughing from all the awesome, so I might have missed a bit of the closing kickassery. But honestly, I think they heard it in the waiting room; doombuggie's voice carries.

So we made the new appointment (it's on the 11th), and talked about writing up a formal complaint (I intend to). And when I got home I took a meganap, and the kitties snuggled around me.

Ah, doombuggie, why you gotta be so awesome?

They're doing inspections next week, so I spent more than I should have to get cleaners in. So that was me having to be awake from around noon to around two. But it doesn't stop there, because I am expecting a Hookah-Shisha.com package from UPS, and the only way I can be sure of getting a UPS delivery without a hitch is by having the door open. Thankfully, the screen door latch is fixed! But UPS is yet to arrive, although the tracking info says all is well.

Did I mention that it's raining and chilly? 43 may not be cold in New England in December, but it is in Texas. And the rainy, especially, makes me stiff and sore.

I've got semi-plans with doombuggie, but if UPS doesn't show soon they won't be able to happen :( I'm miserably cold and stiff anyway. I just want to be warm.

Just got back from first day at work, which consisted of mostly boring theoretical training.

Awesomepoints: only the porter misgendered me, everybody else who adressed me in a gendered fashion today already knew me from last year. My temp ID card was correct, too. These little things mean the world.

I met ex-colleagues in the cafeteria and did social things, like talking to people. Really looking forward to proper work tomorrow (and meeting my two favourite superiors again).

Not-so-awesomepoints: I'm dead tired. Seriously. I'm gonna check my feeds and email, and then I'm off to bed.

PSA: I have the late shift for at least two weeks from now, which suits me just fine. (I liked working nightshifts a lot, as evidenced in this IJ entry from 2008. Also, getting up early would kill me.) However, it has the disadvantage of being online less often, and thus chatting/commenting not as much as I used to. If you don't hear a peep from me for the next days or weeks, it's because of work effing up my sleep schedule / leisure time / energy levels. (Sadface.)

1. My username is ______ because ______: amor_remanet; Well, back at the end of ninth grade, when I got my first livejournal, I'd been using Duanya as an online alias (still seen in my email address) and various forms of Sailor Moon-themed silliness as backups. Duanya came from a D&D character who got shot in the face and died; the Sailor Moon stuff was just me being an obsessive fan-nerd. Anyway, when I got to LJ, I wanted to do something ~different~ and ~new~… so I put my four years of Latin class to work and made up a Latin username. It translates to "love remains," which I thought was being Poignant And Cool… and then it just stuck and I'm too attached to change it.

2. My name is _____ because ______: "Kassie: a wild tl;dr monster" because, for ages, it was "Kassie, guardian angel of emo angsty boys" courtesy of something sherlock said on some snaps cup meme (I think it was a snaps cup meme anyway?) a while back, and as much as I loved that name, I thought a change was worthwhile. Also, I talk too much.

3. My journal is titled ____ because ____: "no, not the young people. they shall be spared." This is one of my favorite lines from the translation of Strindberg's The Ghost Sonata I read for Theatre History in my freshman year. Mostly, it's because I just really liked that line. Likewise, the subtitle is, "it could be worse! we could be stuck in the audience!" from one of my favorite lines in Muppet Treasure Island. (Statler and Waldorf are the figureheads on the bow of the ship. They're discussing how much it sucks to be stuck on said bow.)

4. My default userpic is ____ because ____: Linus and his blue blanket in A Charlie Brown Christmas, forlornly staring at the fail-tree. Because it's seasonal and I've been sort of feeling like the fail-tree lately.

The ABOUT text for this blog is as follows:

“The Border House is a blog for gamers. It's a blog for those who are feminist, queer, disabled, people of color, transgendered, rich, poor, middle class, gay, lesbian, and others who belong to marginalized groups, as well as allies. Our goal is to bring thoughtful analysis to gaming with a feminist viewpoint and up-to-date news on games, virtual worlds, and social media.”

And it actually has members of these groups as contributors! See chooseareality's intro post for an example; she's a trans woman and a lesbian. (Text might make you choke up a little, for mostly good reasons.)

A while back I was looking through a collection of brochures for different programs at my school and caught myself thinking "wow, there're a lot of women on these brochures!" Then I thought "I wonder how many there are, exactly," and counted. End result: 13 women, 17 men, and a few I couldn't positively identify. Hm.

I think part of the reason I thought it looked good was that they had women on the brochures for "male" fields (CS, engineering) and men on the "female" fields' ones (nursing, I believe also culinary arts) so I was expecting good numbers too. But there's also the male default here. I noticed the women. The men were to be expected. I remember reading about a study where men and women were shown videos of conversations and asked who had dominated them, and they thought women were dominating conversations when the time taken by men and women was equal, and saw balance when the men talked more.

Another case of that crops up in the apparent "crisis" in American Judaism. That most religions are and have historically been run by men isn't an issue, but as soon as one appears to be dominated by women, it's a problem. Note that the only man quoted in that article as saying that gender imbalance isn't a problem is speaking from a place where men are the majority -- that kind of imbalance is fine, people!

Have I mentioned lately that I'm tired of misogyny?

My grandmother sent me this "cutesy" email forward about how awesome dogs are and how aloof and uncaring cats are.

I sent her pictures of her great-grand-kitties.

I have an upset tummy and a slightly whiny back. Oh, for a bottle of ginger beer and a gentle backrub! I might have to use my Hitachi Magic Wand for its officially intended purpose.

More stress today; had to call to switch my Medicare Part D insurance plan to one where I wouldn't have to pay a premium. Enrolled over the phone. My hands were shaking the whole time. I almost dropped the phone.

Tomorrow I need to get ahold of Molly Maid so I don't have to worry about my place being a sty for the inspection on the 8th. Why the hell they are doing inspections now is anyone's guess. I just hope it's not the 3rd, because if it is I'll have to reschedule my MHMR appointment.

But I am valiumed up now and sleep will be soo.

< brb > is not an acceptable HTML.

Using it whilst coding tables will not end well.

That is all.

I broke my glasses last night. In the morning, when I sheepishly reported to Mum what had happened, she told me I should find a backup pair (don't have one; it's been years and my prescription changed) and call the optometrist. Now, I am a logical person, but do not ask me to make a phone call if there is any alternative. I will panic, shut down, and become defensive. The only kind of phone calls I can handle are when someone calls me, when I call home, when I call somewhere I know a robot will answer, and when I have absolutely no choice. It's hard enough talking to strangers in person, or emailing them; not knowing who'll be at the other end of the phone is impossible. And it's not just that I need to make more calls, goddammit. I feel ill when I'm pushed. And nobody understands. *single tear*

Claudia Christian mentioned in a blog post the other day that a B5 director ("who had clearly never watched the show") had told her to play her scenes with Sheridan more "sexy and coquettish" and I had such a strong "EWNOGROSS" reaction that I had to step back and analyze why. I can handle all kinds of fic/pairings, even if I prefer to avoid them. But Sheridan/Ivanova disgusts me, and thinking about it I've come to the conclusion that it's because they're too much like siblings.

It's kind of funny, I suppose. I can handle all kinds of screwed-up pairings if I understand the kink, even if I don't share it. I can deal with non-con, power imbalance including parent/child incest, aliens... lots of stuff. And I'm on IJ substantially because I used to have a good friend who wrote and read Weasleycest, and while I wasn't into it I didn't like the idea of her ability to do so being restricted. But despite this, sibling incest remains one of my biggest squicks.

Maybe it's because I have siblings I'm close to, and the idea of people perverting that kind of relationship feels too close to home. But I have parents I'm close to, too, and I can handle parent/child type stuff. I suppose in the Sheridan/Ivanova case, there's the added factor that they're not related by blood or by legal definition, and I've got those siblings too and know how upsetting I'd find it if people ignored that and assumed that we were sexually involved. Ties in to the whole "a man and a woman can't be just friends ever" cultural assumption, which I hate because I used to be the girl who had all guy friends and wasn't into any of them, no, really, stop teasing me, Mum! *coughs* Tangent there. Anyway, I think there's another factor.

Actors are often treated as people whose job is to convey emotions, deliver lines, and embody personalities. They are, of course. But another job they do is play relationships, and they're often not as good at that. We've all seen a big romantic storyline completely fizzle because the main romance lacked chemistry. Then, too, parent-child dynamics on screen and stage often fall flat. But the most commonly disappointing relationships I'm used to seeing are sibling ones. Screen siblings, whether bickering or affectionate, tend to fail to convince. And so I guess when I see a sibling relationship I like, I really don't like seeing it taken through the "a man and a woman can't be just friends ever" cliché. So Sheridan and Ivanova, whose sibling vibe seems so clear to me, I can't bear to think of in a sexual situation.

(Claudia Christian, I may have mentioned, is brilliant at playing relationships. Yet another reason I love B5.)

In the mail (I only check my mail every couple of days, I checked it last night) I got 1) a notice of an inspection on the 8th and 2) paperwork to fill out because Social Security is reviewing my Disability.

It's too damn much. Why the hell are they doing inspections NOW? And I know they do periodic reviews of SSDI cases, but god, the TIMING!

Happy Thanksgiving, USAians. Happy Thursday, rest of the world.

♣ I was barely around today because after getting into the inner city to sign some contracts, and then therapy, I felt utterly exhausted. I don't feel that well either and more or less went straight to bed. (It's a mix of having the sniffles, mental/emotional issues, and RL stuff that causes stress ... I'm tired a lot.)

But on the good side, the contracts ARE signed and my work starts on December 1st. It's now official! And although I'm nervous (duh), I'm also looking forward to it a lot. The temp agency is a really good one that cares more about its employers than others I've worked with, and of course I'm excited to meet my ex-colleagues again! They asked for me specifically, which does good things to my self-esteem. And from January onwards, I'm gonna have more money to plan with, which is desperately needed because I can tell there are going to be some extra costs in the future. (Wardrobe, fixing the toilet, cooking and baking utensils, a better binder... that sort of thing.)

♣ Do you remember when people started migrating to IJ and created community asylum duplicates, triplicates, et cetera? And how that annoyed me so much that I even included a sentence in my IJ Beginner's Guide about it? - Looks like it's starting on Dreamwidth, too. "I know there already exist communities for [topic], but they're all dead, so I created a new one!" Which... might end up dead? Great.

Seriously, I DO think that DW has the potential to eventually have a level of activity which is not rivaling LJ but close enough. And currently there's definitely enough activity on my Subscription List when it comes to personal journals (quite similar to IJ, actually; on both sides, I don't feel "starved" in that regard). But community-wise? We're so not there yet. Much less for community duplicates.

♣ Thinking about participating in Wishlist communities. I'm also secretly hoping that people on my friendslist/reading list will, in case they have wishes I can grant. But funny enough, when faced with the task, suddenly I have difficulties thinking of wishes. Currently my list has one (1) item and then I got stuck. (For the curious, it's a Spongebob mousepad. I like Spongebob, although strictly speaking Squidward is my favourite.)

Okay, important thing first. There's a bill to outlaw mail order sales of tobacco in the US. Cigars will be the only exemption. This effects me personally, of course, because I buy my shisha mailorder as much for variety as for price. I know it's only an online petition, but would some of you consider signing this? I'm sure many if not most of you are nonsmokers, but I see it as a personal freedom issue.


Went out with doombuggie last night. He convinced me to check out this new bar downtown. Too loud for my comfort level, but not as bad as most clubs, and it wasn't even remotely crowded so that wasn't so bad, and we didn't stay very long. After that he took me to HEB so I could make a much-needed grocery run. It wasn't pleasant; it was late enough that the restockers were out, clogging up the aisles, but close enough to Thanksgiving that it was still crowded, even at 11. I was so glad to get out of there! We dropped my stuff off and went to Epoch, because doombuggie had plans to meet up with a friend and Epoch's cool anyway. I mostly just zoned out while they talked. doombuggie was concerned about me looking like I was falling asleep in my seat! I was fine, though, just sort of inert. Conked pretty hard when I got home, though. It was a pretty good night.

Had a good experience with complex maintenance. The latch on my screen door has been sticking and last night I pretty much had to break out, so this morning I called maintenance (which is dispatched from a central office, you don't call the complex you're in). Guy showed up this afternoon; I'd met him briefly once or twice. Friendly, polite, competent. We chatted a little while he fixed the latch and he complimented my skull pajamas. No unneeded stress, and my screen door is fixed.

( Moping about Thanksgiving )

I've been sucked into Merlin, at least watching (girlchild loves it but gets scared when things get tense) and reading the fic, some of which is so good I had to rec it. It's an utterly ridiculous twisting of the Arthur stories, of course, and I'm still in love with the 12th century versions. But the characters in this are just so damn cute, I can't resist. Therefore, an OT4 icon, made by miakun, because I like them in any and every combination :-D

Manga 123 has a metric ton of manga available to read.

I've been going through Claymore. Then there's a bunch more I'm going to read. Any suggestions?