May 2018

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Posts Tagged: 'gerald+avery'


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I find the news of the bonfire so thrilling! The coverage by the WWN and the Prophet shall be on point as usual! Let us purge our corruptive influences and be better Witches and Wizards!

In other news, I found her. Her name is Ariana. I have not found the blackguard who stole into my house and took my arm, however.

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[DEATH EATERS]
Hugo, good show at your duelling tournament! For those of you who attended, I think discussions regarding duelling styles and potential weaknesses observed of known and suspected Phoenixes will help us well and into the future.

Further, allow me the particular honour of affording congratulations to the live coverage -- the spectacle known as #theendofanauror. Every inch of ground we hold against the liberal trash polluting our culture means another life saved, another important aspect of our culture that we can safely cherish.

Finally, perhaps there are some of you who are consumed by doubt. We have experienced loss. We are beset by challenges as we attempt to secure our future. Some might even suggest that the militant way in which we uphold our ideals and beliefs isn't worth it. That the losses are too great.

To that I say - have hope. Some of us have been fighting this war for many years. And, for the first time, I see the blessed promise of an end.

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Real morals do not pale when faced with trials. Your purported heroes kill indiscriminately and share ghastly photography on social media. Your purported heroes bomb innocents. Remember that.

[VAL + DANTE]
Happy Birthday, son. For you, I have a fine old tome wrapped in calf-skin. It is The Untrodden Road: Connecting the British Wizard to the Tradition of Albion. I also include a 'sick' pair of Weats by Dr. C for your aural proclivities. You will certainly need them in the coming months with an infant underfoot.

If you would both like to join me in the studio for cigars and brandy, you may. Valkyrie, don't tell your mother.

[OG DEATH EATER CLUB - KNIGHTS OF W.]
I don't dare breath my fears. He must have something transformative in the wings. We cannot fail twice lose hope.

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[A ROUGH SKETCH OF THIS FACE]

This was taken from the mind of my attacker. This poor, poor young lady.

What is her name?

[DEATH EATERS]
Please provide me with an accounting of dead Weasley blood traitors and the listing of what remnants of their house hold any interest to us. I did set fire to a rather disgusting little sofa and either the flames or the smoke inhalation got the father and one of the older boys.

[AVERYs]
Keats, my boy. A man's 31st birthday is the illustration of the step from the existential waste of young adulthood into the decade which will instill all the qualities of manliness and hardihood I expect of an Avery and a good, stalwart protector of the wizarding world.

For that reason, the Magical Preservation and Cultural Excellence Society in Oxford has chosen to name their Modern Painting and Sculpture wing after you. Congratulations.

Dante, how goes the wedding planning? Your young bride-to-be must be getting excited.

Valkyrie, I know Hugo's party planning must have you quite busy. But beyond that, I hope you are making time for fun. There always seems to be a Rowle sparkle in your eye.

[CLEMENT]
I find that any prosthesis does not have the right balance and flash of my own flesh. I would rather simply do without. Thank you for trying.

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Since Dedalus Diggle the neon pink sparkling moonbat has decided to accuse me of tapdancing naked as a snickerdoodle not once, but many times, I should simply like to say that my yesterday was spent peacefully in my studio. There I underwent the sacred duty of creation.

I plan to unveil my greatest work at Mr. Nott's dueling tournament. A work that will, I believe, define the our time and culture for the ages. I look forward to sharing it with you then.

In the meantime, I will continue to do masturbation in accordance with naptime cloud palace regulation. Problems can be directed to the herd of cute fluffy bunnies.

Wait what? Oh well.

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Many rounds of applause to Mr Owen Dearborn, who made the most arresting 'Gothic Snow White' for my advanced students. I do believe you've created a fan base and much like the famed Mona Lisa, might find yourself hanging and framed and nailed to the wall in a museum some day.

To the interloper that ruined the Duke of Wellington's chesterfield: your day will come. I do not know what you were looking for, but trust me when I say the Department of Magical Law Enforcement has combed my estate and found no Mudblood riff raff. You will not find any either.

[AVERY FAMILY]
Someone broke into the studio while the wards were on the fritz.

[LAYLA]
Your disquiet reaches me even in Oxford.

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Will the lack of cacophonous buzz prove that vigilantes utilise the Winternet and the network to mobilise? I think so. And if the hitwizards prancing in my yard are any proof, they are certainly experiencing some modicum of peace.

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GERALD AND DANTE
So, as promised here are 6 of Diggle's unfortunate exes:
1. Vernice Cattermole, actress
2. Ludwig Prosser, escape artist
3. Jeremiah Smyth, playwright
4. Osa Middleton, director
5. Bradford Howard, sculptor
6. Delphia Tyndall, theremin player

I thought about adding Humberto, because honestly? Who even invited him? Let me know who you'd like to start with, or your plans in general and I can maintain the floo connection. They'll have no explanation for how you got in or out.

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I must admit that I have no qualms in informing the public that I have little faith in the honour of purported 'good' wizards and witches who let the blatant act of terrorism on Valentine's Day go heretofore unanswered. Irascible terrorists bent on disrupting the activities that support high culture should be named and shamed in kind.

Further acknowledging modernity's inability to hold to honour by catching the terrorists and instead, holding to their own puny love of galleons, I will offer the following: 5,000 GALLEONS TO ANY WITCH OR WIZARD WHO OFFERS INTELLIGENCE TO LAW ENFORCEMENT'S CAPTURE AND INDICTMENT OF THOSE INVOLVED IN THE VALENTINE'S DAY TERROR.

If honour will not pique your tastes, perhaps money shall.

[DEATH EATERS]
And as for all of you, following up on Bellatrix's true and good messaging, I do hope that you are continuing to root out the Order of the Phoenix. They present the last resistance to our Lord's ascendance and your own share in the power and grace of our good society to come.

Do yourselves a favour by forsaking any secondary or tertiary concerns and instead focus on bringing our new world into being.

A bottle of iced wine and a portrait for the first one of you who brings Bellatrix her requested head.

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Miss Parkinson, I request full pardon for not having been present at your magnificent gala. But in the spirit of giving - tis the Season! - I shall auction my painting "Wizard Contemplates the Obligation of Brilliance" and donate the proceeds to the Hospital in your honour.

At any rate, seasonal preparations are underway at the estate and for those enrolled in Painting Studio, do be prepared to be festive.

[DEATH EATERS]
I say bravo to Mr. Hugo Nott for stepping in to block this spuriousity within the Wizengamot. Robards is as likely a politician as my Familiar and time is of the essence to derail his campaign from the outside in. This can, of course, be a secondary affect of the assignments you have been given.

How do they fare? Making good progress?

[DANTE]
A separate plea for you, my son. Give a good accounting of what you are doing in the Bank to bring the Mudbloods and the Blood Traitors low.

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