InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "Don't stop till you get enough"

gogo_gadget (gogo_gadget) wrote in devils_tower,
@ 2009-09-18 05:20:00

Entry tags:

bear, miles

Week Fifteen: Thursday Morning

Who: Miles and Bear
Where: The Canopy
When: Thursday Morning
What: Miles and Bear get together for their trip to the library
Status: In Progress//Closed

Miles didn’t want to wake up. But the newly rebuilt alarm clock obviously didn’t agree with him as it rang from across the room. Slowly and painfully he sat up and trudged the small distance to the other side of the room to turn off the alarm.

9:00 am already, and another day closer. He tiredly dressed in his loose slacks and button up collared shirt, a habit he never got out of since he was a kid. She had dared him to wear jeans once, and he did, on her birthday one summer, way back. She wore a bright blue dress that brought out her bright blue eyes which were shining even more because of her complexion being paled by shock of seeing him in jeans. Or at least back then he assumed it had been from shock. He hadn’t known it was from the hour of chemo-therapy that morning or the previous mornings before that.

Miles had found himself asking several times over the past year, “How could I have not known she was sick?” To which Bear one day replied, “She didn’t want you to.”

Short, sweet, simple.

Miles dealt so much in the complex that sometimes simple was just too difficult to comprehend.

He ran his fingers through his brownish blonde hair, the only kind of “combing” he’d do to it for the rest of the day, and considered going back to bed until noon. But Miles knew that wouldn’t work. Bear would be over soon. The two were going on their weekly trip to the library. The younger, much taller man had offered to share this trip with Miles a few weeks after the burial as a way to help get him out of the tree house, and this trip had been much anticipated by Miles since the war had ended, Libby was finally safely home, and things were finally beginning to look a bit safer to go out now.

Miles crept out of the small bedroom, pausing to glance at the closed door next to it. Almost a whole year and he still couldn’t bring himself to go into their room. Her things were still in there. Her smell. Those memories. Sighing, Miles walked into the main room and wondered if he wanted breakfast or not. He also wondered if they should invite Kestral to go with them that day. Miles often wondered this and had become curious as to what kind of books she read.

She had loved to read romance novels. Miles had caught her reading them often when they were supposed to be studying. “You’re going into medicine, life and death, how can you read those fantasiful things?” he had asked her once. “It’s good to get away from reality every once in a while,” she had answered.

Out of the whole year Miles had been in Sundance he had only read three of those kinds of novels. But he knew the basic plot-line. Guy and girl meet; guy and girl fall in love; guy and girl have an argument; guy wins girl back; both live happily ever after. But not once in any of those books had girl become sick with an incurable disease and died at the end, leaving the guy with a big gaping hole in his heart.

Miles fought back those tears again and plastered on his usual smile as he felt the slight tug of the rope ladder on the tree house. Bear was coming up.

Just in time.

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native_soul
2009-09-19 12:31 am UTC (link)

Bear woke up with the sun, just like every morning. The difference was, this morning he wasn't going hunting or solemnly greeting the sun. he was putting every spare minute into the construction of Tink's new room. He'd gotten the roof on late the evening before and was dying to put together a bed that he'd actually be able to sit on with the little girl.

Smiling, Bear pulled on a pair of very old jeans, a t-shirt, and a pair of moccasins. He had a little less than two hours to work on the bed frame before he went and made sure Miles was awake for their weekly trip to the library. As he went down the ladder to find wood from the pile behind his tree, Bear though about the last time they'd gone all the way into town. It had been they week before the war and Miles had told him that he'd considered inviting Kestral to join them. The idea put a smile on Bear's face because it meant that, even though he wouldn't admit it, it meant that Miles was one step closer to forgiving himself for Michelle's death. It had been so hard on the man to watch his lover die... Bear had only confessed his love to Ruby a matter of days ago and already he couldn't imagine losing that bond. Michelle had been one of maybe three people that Miles had ever truly opened up too. And she was the only one he'd ever loved. Thank the gods that the library had gotten him out of the closet he'd been calling his bedroom since Michelle had passed away. bear had started thinking he was gonna let himself starve in that little cubby of his.

Wiping bits of wood and dirt from his hands, Bear picked up the pieces of timber he'd been carving on while his thoughts had run amuck and carried them into the room he was putting together for Tink. He'd have to put them together when he got back. For now, the sun burning down on his t-shirt was telling him it was time to go wake up Miles. After washing up in the basin at the base of his tree, Bear began the walk over to Miles treehouse. He'd helped put those walls up himself, just him and Miles while Michelle lay weakly in the shade. She'd been in bad shape by that time... Bear had been determined to make life easier for the both of them as the end drew nearer.

Sighing, Bear climbed up the ladder to Miles's place, a bit worried about the shift the structure made as he put hi weight on it. He'd have to check the base when they got back from their trip to town. For now, he treaded gingerly to the door and slid it open.

"Miles? You up yet? Do I have to pull you out of your closet?"

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gogo_gadget
2009-09-21 03:35 am UTC (link)

Miles grinned even wider at his taller friend's comment.

"Are you questioning my current state of sexual orientation? Just because I've spent the past almost year alone doesn't mean anything you know, Mr. I-have-a-woman-now so I'm-the-happiest-person-alive." Miles winced at the biting sarcasm that came out of his voice subconsciously. He was happy for his best friend, he really was. But whenever he though about Bear's new found happiness, it only made his heartache more for Michelle.

He kept his smile on his face and hoped his good friend hadn't paid too much attention to the underlined harshness that wasn't suppose to have been there. If he apologized for it, he would break in the process. Hopefully his friend new better than to believe that he actually meant it.

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native_soul
2009-09-21 07:12 am UTC (link)

Bear should have expected a snappy comeback. He hadn't quite expected the biting sarcasm but he should have expected the comeback. Sure, Miles was a bit awkward around people, but when he wanted to, he could think up anything to trump any saying. As for the sarcasm, Bear probably should have expected that too. He'd been on cloud nine for quite some time now. And he'd been completely open about his happiness. It served him right that Miles, who hadn't been completely happy since the death of his lover, would have issues about the entire thing.

Sighing, Bear, smiled at Miles and walked slowly towards him. He always felt underdressed next to Miles, but couldn't help respecting how put together the man always looked. You had to give the man props for being able to keep his pants creased in this day and age. Bear set his heavy hand on Miles's shoulder and arched one dark brow. By now, Miles could understand the unspoken question- the unspoken 'you ok, man?' Bear knew him well enough to notice the circles caused by lack of sleep and the way his smile didn't quite reach his eyes. Time was drawing nearer to the anniversary of Michelle's death. Things were going to be rough for Miles for the next few weeks. And Bear would be the one to pull him out of his closet, get him to the library and stick his nose in the only thing that made him semi human nowadays: books.

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gogo_gadget
2009-09-21 08:03 pm UTC (link)

The silence was getting to Miles. He never knew quite what to say in the first place, but now this was just making things even more uncomfortable. Miles knew that Bear understood where he was coming from, and from the hand placed on his shoulder, he knew that there was no offense taken to his earlier comment but that all he was focusing on now was Miles' distress.

"So, speaking of women, how is Ruby and Tink these days? Have you started the addition yet? Do you want any help?" Miles tried to think of a subject he already knew about to make small talk. Unfortunately all he currently was thinking about was "the perfect couple" and in all honesty he did want to know how things were going for his friend. Like his parents used to tell him, "This world needs all the happiness it can get." Of coarse it usually was followed with, "So always keep a smile on your face even through the hardest of times. You never know who might need to see it."

Well, in truth, Bear's happiness brought some light to his own life and helped bring hope that someday he'd find someone special again. Kestral? At that small thought of the tribe leader Miles' smile became genuine and wide, without even realizing it.

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native_soul
2009-10-08 06:41 pm UTC (link)

Bear knew the quiet got to Miles sometimes. But he couldn't help it. He was a quiet guy. Admittedly, it made things tough between the two of the sometimes. With both of them being a bit on the mute side, things got a bit awkward. But for the most part they did ok without words. They'd been together for long enough that they knew each others' silent languages.

Bear couldn't stop the contented smile from spreading across his face when Miles mentioned his girls. Those two were slowly but surely changing his life. "They're good. Tink is as excited, if not more so, than Ruby and I are. And I have all the outer building done on the addition so I'll be able to finish up the inside when we get bat Saturday morning. Hopefully they can move in soon after..." Bear let himself trail to a stop when he saw the grin spreading across his friend's face. Only one thought could make Miles smile like that these days. Hitching his leather pask up onto his shoulder, Bear started walkingout the door. "Come on, man. You can tell me all about Kestral while we're on our way to get the horses."

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