InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "I tune out self-pity..."

English (_english) wrote in devils_tower,
@ 2009-06-14 17:27:00

Entry tags:

english, yeates

Week Fourteen - Friday
Who: English and Open! (Probably Grey or Yeates or both)
When: Friday evening, Week 14
Where: Farm
What: English being a self loathing cripple
Rating: PG-13 for her mouth
Status: In Progress and Open

No one was happy that English was injured. English was not a happy woman to begin with and stack on that injury and pain and her not being able to do her job and she was making life a living hell for everyone involved. She wasn't supposed to be out of bed but she couldn't deal with it much longer. She had one of the kids hold the door heading out of the kitchen for her as she hobbled out of the main farm house on crutches. Her injury had scared everyone.

Calliope had been shot and went down on top of English. The massive white horse had died and everyone had thought English had went with her. It had taken hours for the battle to clear and for the others to come collect the dead. It had been then that night in the pouring down rain that had almost killed her. She had overcome the fever and everything else but it still remained she had a damn near shattered leg and might not ever walk normal again if at all.

Having your legs damaged was always a fear for a dancer and this was just another large hammer strike to bust English's already shattered dreams. She made her way into the back of the yard and began circling around the house looking at all the progress the cleaning had done. She wished she could help do something. She hated feeling useless and that was exactly what she had become. She was just dead weight to an already struggling system.

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carbonite
2009-06-15 05:07 am UTC (link)

After the clearing up Yeates had gone back to his room and watched as English slept. It was a miracle she was even alive and though he hadn't told anyone to even be without her for one second killed him. He hadn't seen the horse go down, but when he'd learnt of it there was nothing that was stopping him from being by her side, and he'd never prayed harder. However despite him being thankful that she was alright he knew English had other thoughts. To her not being able to walk properly or do her job was just as good as being dead and had in fact been the subject of argument between the two of them when he expressed concern or tried to make her see that it wasn't all that bad. He couldn't do right for doing wrong.

He'd been back out helping tidy up the rest of the farm for most of Friday, and as the sun began to set he'd called it a day and returned to the house and to his room. A room which did not contain his loving girlfriend. Groaning and rolling his eyes Yeates knew she was safe, she was just making a break for it like she'd threatened all week. Storming back out of the room he spotted one of the kids, who with one look at him turned away and tried to make it up the stairs. "Stop right there mister" the little boy turned slowly and gave a sheepish grin, "Where is she?" slowly the boy point towards the kitchen and with a light slap up the back of the head Yeates rushed through the kitchen, spotted the open back door and scoured the surrounding area of the farm.

Unfortunately for her English hadn't made it very far when Yeates found her. She was hobbling round observing the clear up job and instead of jumping down her throat he stopped short and began to walk calmly. She looked sad, he knew she felt useless but if she didn't rest she was gonna make it worse for herself. "Babe," walking slowly up on her he touched her arm, "You're not doing yourself any favours,"

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_english
2009-06-30 12:00 pm UTC (link)

English heard his footsteps long before she registered who it was. She was the head guard for good reason and she would know Will in a snow storm if she was deaf and blind. It was the tug of her heart and the flip it did when he was near that told her it was him. She listened to him and felt so angry. She had kept herself together for the most part up until now but in that one touch all her resolve broke.

"There isn't anything I can do that can make it worse. Everything I have ever wanted is gone and the things I have are reminders of no matter what I do I will never get any further. I wanted to be a dancer and even if there was a place to dance...I won't ever be able to again." She felt the hot tears roll down her slender face and she didn't care to hide them. "More than that I always wanted to be your mum. I can't even bloody remember my own. I wanted a family I could care for. I have you and I know even though I have a piece of that family I always wanted I will never have the rest of it." Anna swiped the back of her hand at her eyes sniffing.

"They killed my horse." Tears that had been falling turned to outright sobs as English lost what composier she had left. Anna hadn't shed a tear since the day she showed up at the Farm and heard the gunshots signaling the deaths of her brothers and father. All the emotional turmoil from the past several years just seemed to pour from her as she turned and let her crutches fall as she wrapped her arms around Will and buried her face in the crook of his neck.

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carbonite
2009-07-06 05:34 pm UTC (link)

When English dissolved before him and began to cry Yeates wished he'd never opened his mouth. He'd seen Anna cry before but to hear her thoughts poruing from her soul like they were, he felt his heart beat out of synch, like it was physically hurt to see her in such anguish. He caught her expertly and hugged her so tight to him he could have been squashing her lungs and preventing her from breathing. Stroking her hair gently he made soothing noises, trying to calm her, to stop her from shaking, from crying anymore of those devastating tears.

"Oh sweetheart," he cooed, "I know," there was nothing he could do but hold her. "I worried I'm sorry, I know this hurts you more than it does me, Im sorry for being selfish, for trying to coop you up in the name of keeping you safe." He also knew how uch that damn horse meant to her, and they both knew they would not be able to replace it. "And as far as being our mum goes, Anna you were playing at that ever since you were old enough to boss us around," he smiled a little, "But I am glad you are not my mum, that would make our relationship rather complicated," he pryed her from him a little and kissed her on the lips, "I love you,"

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_english
2009-09-02 04:44 pm UTC (link)

Will's hold on her didn't hurt her it felt like the only life line she had anymore. She only felt worth while these days in his arms and it was a comfort. She buried her face in his neck and shook with her tears as she tried to get them under control. The tears just kept coming though as all the hurt from the past few years poured out of her.

She bit back a sobbing laugh when Will spoke how he was glad she wasn't his mother. The tears still wouldn't stop but she had stopped sobbing. "I love you too...I just can't sit around though, Will. I'm going insane. I need to do something. I wasn't made to lay around worthless."

No matter what laying around doing nothing was being worthless to English. Sitting down to rest was being worthless, sleeping was being worthless, recooperating from a broken leg was worthless. She would be worthless till she could properly walk again and nothing would change that.

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