InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "I'll sleep when I'm dead"

Pan (panriver) wrote in devils_tower,
@ 2009-02-12 23:55:00

Entry tags:

pan, silver

Week Thirteen -- Wednesday
Who: Pan and Silver
What: Pan is looking for Gypsy and gets found himself!
When: Wednesday late afternoon
Where: An abandoned house somewhere in the northeast fringe of town (what some would call Mountain Lion territory.)

The moment he’d left the meeting last week he’d set out in search of Gypsy. He knew most of her favorite places so he’d started with them. It was when he found no trace of her at any of those places that he truly started to worry. It just wasn’t like her to go off for so long without telling anyone. Sure, she’d disappeared for days before but this was different, this was weeks. It was painful enough for him to be completely separated from his tribe, even if most of them took him for granted. The idea that Gypsy might be gone for good was almost too much to bear, but his will to fight against that thought it what had kept him going for days. He’d hardly had any sleep and found little comfort from the caresses of strangers which at this point he had only sought out of his need for food to keep him going.

He’d searched as far as he could manage on foot without having to camp for more than a night, since he had next to no provisions- only his backpack with what clothes he’d grabbed from his boat. When Wednesday came around he finally was at a loss for where to look and so he decided to search some of the city. He started near the most north-eastern fringe of the city though it took him almost half the day to get there because he’d been very far north west. After searching house after house for two hours he finally sat down in the living room of one and pulled his knees up to his chest so he could rest his face between them. He was exhausted, barely scraping by with supplies and most importantly he felt as though he’d lost his best friend forever and thus had lost his tribe as well. He folded his arms around his knees and began to cry from sheer exhaustion.

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runner_up
2009-02-20 05:54 am UTC (link)

Silver, like many others of the River Runners, seemed to drift away from their main gathering places as soon as reality started to sink in about Gypsy's disappearance. She wasn't avoiding the tribe or looking for her sister so much as collecting her thoughts before returning. She knew that she, herself, would return to the tribe. As much as she hated to admit it, she'd placed herself in a highly responsible position. She'd wanted to drift in the tribe, helping out when she was needed and vanishing from the radar when it came to leadership duties.

But the reality of the current situation was that Gypsy was gone and Jed was nearly hopeless on his own. The two of them had worked well together as leaders of the tribe, but she knew it was Gypsy that held it together. So, Silver would have to return and stick with it, despite how much it hurt to be abandoned by her sister again.

She'd spent a few cold nights in what was left of her parents' home on the edge of town. She stayed in the guest room, of course, because her own bedroom held memories she wished to forget. It wasn't the first time she'd escaped to the house when things got bad and she needed time to herself. She was wandering around on the second floor, going through her mother's collections of dolls and statuettes and wondering if any of it would be worth anything in a trade. Maybe for a tribe with lots of kids. She heard the front door open, but not close, which led her to believe a strong wind had knocked the decomposing door open, but when she moved to the railing to look down into the living room, she saw that someone had entered the home. It was Pan, whom many people had been looking for, and she let out a sigh of relief. She was relieved that he wasn't an enemy and because her sister's confidant had been located.

She stood still and waited, watching Pan from the second floor as he sat down on the living room floor and started to cry, right next to the chair where she'd watched her father die. She knew how he felt; tired and frustrated and at a loss as to what he should do. She took a deep breath and moved to the staircase, hefting her bag on her shoulder as she took the stairs slowly, so she wouldn't startle him.

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panriver
2009-02-20 09:36 am UTC (link)

In all of his sojourns through the northern houses he hadn’t once happened upon anybody. He figured that fact was due to the northern edges of the city belonging to the Mountain Lions. Pan, however, didn’t fear the Mountain Lions. Besides, he figured they’d have known about Gypsy by now and understand that he was in search of her. He thought he heard something in the house and so he lifted his head to wipe the tears from his face with the back of his hand. It took him a moment to realize that it was Silver who was standing at the base of the stairs.

He wiped at his eyes again. “Silver?” He couldn’t help but grin a little, he was happy to see her, almost relieved really. He wanted to get up and hug her but instead he stayed on the ground and held his knees to his chest. “What are you doing out here?” A stupid question, she was probably doing the same thing that he was: looking for Gypsy. God, he was so scared that they were never going to find her. He was losing hope by the moment. He didn’t know what bothered him more, the idea that she could have abandoned the tribe or that something bad had happened to her.

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runner_up
2009-02-20 10:13 am UTC (link)

Silver set her bag down on the floor at the base of the staircase when Pan spoke. Clearly there wouldn't be any hostility here. When she first saw Pan, she'd been worried that he'd been through something horrible in the past week and would behave in reflection to that, but, all things considered, he seemed fine. He looked tired, sure, but anyone who spends that much time out on their own would be exhausted.

She approached the spot where Pan was seated slowly, then crouched down in front of him to get a better look. They weren't as close as he had been with Gypsy, but she liked to consider him a friend, or, at the very least, a comfortable acquaintance. She didn't consider him an enemy, for sure. She brought a hand up, extending a finger to point at the large framed photograph on the fireplace mantle. It was a little faded, but still depicted her family from a few years before most of them died. Gypsy wasn't included, as she'd already been gone by that point.

"This is my house," she finally answered. Technically, it was in another tribe's territory, so it wasn't really her house anymore, but as the last surviving member of her father's bloodline, she considered it hers. She'd buried her parents in the back yard, and she doubted anyone would argue with her about who owned the house, anyway. "You've been gone for a while. People are starting to worry."

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panriver
2009-03-05 02:42 pm UTC (link)

Pan was happy that she wasn’t running away from him or immediately bringing up what had happened that had caused his self-imposed exile. He’d left so that he didn’t have to face Gypsy and inevitabley reveal the little plot they’d had. He hadn’t wanted her to look bad and so he’d left. Now she was gone to, and there was probably no chance of him ever being able to return to the tribe. Silver had been there when it all happened, hell she’d probably saved him from one hell of a beating from Jed. Not that he hadn’t deserved it after all, he felt like he’d done something wrong. Even though he didn’t steal anything from Jed, and had never planned on doing so, he’d ran the situation over so many times in his head and he’d been so damned lonely and upset being out on his own that by now he was convinced he was guilty, that he somehow deserved to be kicked out of the tribe.

“Your house?” He followed her pointing finger to the family portrait. It was dusty but he could see well enough that Silver was there, smiling. He looked at the picture for a moment. Gypsy was not there but Silver, Silver was smiling and he thought to himself that he’d never seen her smile like that before. He was about to ask her why Gypsy wasn’t there when she spoke about his absence and the idea that people were actually noticing. He scoffed and shook his head, felt tears threatening again. “No, no, I doubt that love.” He sighed and hung his head for a moment, he was so tired- and hungry. He had a hard time seeing how anyone, save for Gypsy, could be worried at his disappearannce.

Surely they all thought that he had stolenf rom Jed and thus deserved to be gone, but aside form that no one of them had ever taken him seriously anyway. He was the clown, the entertainment, nothing more. No one ever noticed that the majority of the fish they ate was cuaght by Pan, and that when times were tough he’d always been more than willing to use his body or whatever means neccesary to make ends meet. No, he was nothing to them. “I was never wanted there. No, it’s over.” He was nearly talking nonsense at this point and he fancied for a moment how good it would be to just lay down and close his eyes. “I’m sorry if I caused a problem. Between you and Jed I mean.”

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runner_up
2009-03-11 09:08 am UTC (link)

Silver was confused by Pan's reaction to her revealing that people were concerned. She, herself, had worried from the day he'd left, because she knew how Jed's temper could be and how the man would say things without thinking. She'd developed a filter for it, and for her it was easy to detect what was bullshit and what he really meant. Pan, on the other hand, would probably see everything for what it was at face value. Jed said leave, so Pan left. Simple. And if Pan didn't return on his own, it was up to someone else to explain that Jed could be a jerk and he should just take it with a grain of salt.

"Whether you want to believe it or not, people really do care for you," she explained, her voice calm and flat so she wouldn't imply anything she didn't intend to. "We're a tribe. We work together. Regardless of any reputation we might have, we don't behave like animals when it comes to our own and I don't think you've really done anything worth being thrown out." She stood from her crouch slowly, moving over to the mantle and taking the framed photograph down to dust it off.

"I'm smarter than Jed," she reminded him with a small smile. "Quite a bit smarter, I think. He would see you stealing something from his room, but I saw you taking the one thing in his room that was mine." Her eyes shifted back over to him, raising an eyebrow. "Add your relationship with my sister and her concern for me into the equation and it becomes pretty obvious as to why you were really there." She turned slightly, setting the photo back once she was satisfied with it's condition. "It makes me think that she knew about it before she was gone. I think that she would have been ashamed of me. But she never said anything. I guess I'll never know."

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panriver
2009-03-17 12:17 am UTC (link)

Pan watched Silver and listened to her carefully. Hadn’t done anything worth being thrown out for? Everyone thought he’d tried to steal from Jed, and stealing from fellow tribe members was a very big deal amongst the River Runners. Even though their morals were next to non-existant when it came to non-tribe members, they were very strict when it came to dealing with one another. He shook his head. He missed the tribe and his life there more than anything, but he found it hard to fathom that anyone outside of Gypsy would have any true feelings about his absence.

His gaze followed Silver as she stood up and took the photograph in her hand. He grinned a little when she said she was smarter than Jed. He wiped his wet eyes one more time on the backs on his sleeves as he listened to her. He looked away as Silver tried to meet his gaze. He sat there for a moment after she had finished speaking then he stood up and leaned forward to inspect the photo she’d put back. He drew his bottom lip between his teeth, debating about how he should respond to the things she had just told him. How had she figured it out? Jed had been too incensed with Pan to ever even consider such a thing, and if he’d been able to figure it out in the moment Jed probably would have just been all the more upset.

He shuddered and wrapped his arms around himself. “She wasn’t ashamed of you.” Pan drew his finger along the top of the picture frame to clear off the dust. He then turned to lean against the wall. He really needed to find some food. He’d left the Runners in such a hurry that he’d completely forgotten his fishing pole. If he had the right tools he could live off of the fish he caught, but he hadn’t been able to find any to replace the ones he’d left behind. “

“She was just worried I believe…” He shook his head, then pressed his palm to his forehead for a moment as if he had a headache, which he did. “Yes, something like worry, and that’s… That’s why I was told to watch Jed and you.” He paused with a heavy sigh, “That is the reason I was on Jed’s boat.” He didn’t know if he felt more guilt for ratting on Gypsy or relief that he could finally stop pretending to be a thief.

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runner_up
2009-03-21 08:59 pm UTC (link)

Silver couldn't begin to understand how Pan felt in regards to being thrown out, and she was doing all she could to make him feel that he was welcome back. His confirmation of her being right about his intentions on Jed's boat only made her believe he should be welcomed back more. He'd been screwed over, and if Gypsy had been there, she would have made everything clear to Jed or she would have at least kept Pan from leaving. But the reality of the situation was that Gypsy was gone, and that was a loss for both Silver and Pan, and that was definitely something that she understood his feelings over.

The very least she could do in her sister's place was let Pan know that she knew the truth and that it was okay for him to come back. She wasn't and probably would never be as close to him as Gypsy had been, but she could do her best to make things easier. She didn't hold a high-ranking position in the tribe and was only regarded differently because she was Gypsy's sister, but she knew Jed would listen to her.

"I kind of figured she'd be worried," she admitted in reply to Pan's revelations. "I was expecting a lecture of some sort. That's why I thought she'd be ashamed. I mean, I understand how she would see it. Jed, as she knows him, isn't exactly... the most faithful man." She paused, glancing Pan over again as she set her hands on her hips. "Whether or not you choose to believe me about people being worried about you, I want you to know that I, personally, have no problem with you coming back. It's your choice, though."

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