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Windchaser ([info]_windchaser_) wrote in [info]devils_tower,
@ 2009-01-16 20:06:00

Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
Entry tags:ryder, windchaser

When: Week Twelve
Where: On the plain, taking Cabello for a run
What: Windchaser meets a blast from the past
Rating: TBD
Status: Complete

Windchaser rode out, letting Cabello run. It was an excuse really, Cabello was too lazy to really want to run, but she felt guilty leaving him stable bound and wanted him to stretch out. She wanted them both to experience the true joy of being able to gallop without being chased. Things with her and her horse were different now, they'd changed as soon as she entered the Wolf tribe and seen him stabled, but determination on her part and adoration on his had kept their bond strong and she had no desire to lose that. She loved the daft old horse as much as she hoped he loved her, and keeping that was important to her.

She looked out across the grassland, the wind ruffling her newly funked up hair, smiling softly as she brushed her new purple streak out of her dark eyes. Windchaser spotted an old tree, and chose that as her destination to dismount. She urged Cabello back into a gallop, letting out a ringing, joyful laugh as he picked up speed. She was enjoying settling back into being with people full time, but this stirred her blood, made her happy. She just hoped she hadn't got Wren into trouble by sneaking off so soon and only telling her new friend.

If she had, she would tell them she was looking for medicinal herbs. She might even be lucky and actually find some of the more common ones. She didn't want to leave and had yet to get bored, but she had been a Drifter for a very long time, and she didn't want to leave all of those habits behind, they had saved her life often enough for her to value them.

She dismounted and let a disgruntled Cabello crop the grass, turning to look out over the ground they'd just crossed, and letting out a slightly discomforted sound as she spotted a mounted figure in the distance, hoping that it wasn't a member of the Wolves coming to find her just yet.

 

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[info]_ryder_
2009-01-17 12:51 am UTC (link)
Ryder was on the road to recovery from the beating he’d received from Ace but his body still showed signs of the encounter. His eyes were still shadowed with bruises but the swelling had completely subsided so that now it simply looked like he was wearing dark makeup. He was almost sure that his rib was at least cracked because even though the bruising on his side had started to go down it was just as painful there, if not more so. There wasn’t really anything he could do for his rib anyway, although riding probably wasn’t the best thing for it there was no way he could stay off a horse especially since he’d found his beloved Rose and the majority of his herd.

He’d been staying at the Outskirts for over a week now and though he did miss his tribe he just wasn’t quite ready to go back yet. Besides, if he went back he’d have to find a place to share with someone and he didn’t really want to do that. He figured he made Griffin put up with enough of his moping. On Thursday, he visited an abandoned catholic church on the southwest edge of Wolf territory. The place was horribly vandalized but it was still a church. It had been a long time, years upon years, since he’d knelt in God’s house. He was looking for guidance, a way out of the darkness he’d been drowning in. He had found nothing more than a momentary comfort in the rituals of his family’s religion, but at least he’d found something. He spent the entire day there, only returning to the Outskirts once dusk came. He’d found a rosary in the ruins of the church, a small wooden one that fit rather well around his neck and so he kept it. He wore it like a totem around his neck, a token to keep away the demons that lurked in the back of his mind and came forth from the darkness in the black and lonely nights at the Outskirts.

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[info]_ryder_
2009-01-17 12:53 am UTC (link)
On Friday morning he awoke with a sense of new found purpose and a plan. He’d stop by the trading post and get some food, then he’d head to the ruins of his cabin and the location of his fight with Ace. For the first time since it burned down, he wanted to rebuild his cabin. Since the loss of his horses, his cabin being burned down and everything with Danni he’d thought almost constantly of leaving Sundance. He was slowly coming back to himself and realizing that Sundance was all that he had and to leave that behind would be to inflict a whole new loss upon himself.

He managed to trade some broken but fixable bits of horse tack for a bag of decent food from the Trading Post. He decided to take Rose on a bit of a jaunt before heading for the cabin and so he rode along the river before taking a small detour to the south, near the farm. He patted Rose’s neck and muttered to her in Spanish. If anyone saw him talking to her they’d probably think that he was crazy but Ryder was convinced that horses were the best ‘people’ to talk to. He came into an open field at a slow walk and saw someone with a horse in the distance by a tree. He squinted against the sun but he couldn’t quite make out who it was. He approached with a smile, thinking that it would be one of the farm Wolves. It had been awhile since he’d been down to the farm to help with their livestock and he thought that now may be a good chance to ask if they needed any help.

As he got closer he realized that he didn’t recognize the horse, and he knew almost all of the horses in the Sundance area by name. “Hey, it’s Ryder ,I just thought -” the sun cleared from his eyes as he came under the shade of the tree and the person suddenly became clear. He didn’t know her as a Wolf, no, he knew her as someone very very different - a person from another time and place, a time and place that he’d tried very hard to forget.

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[info]_windchaser_
2009-01-17 06:13 am UTC (link)
Windchaser watched the newcomer approach. Cabello wandered closer and let out a soft huff. She turned to look at him, rolling her eyes. “It’s alright for you, nice comfy stable, they might even want me to do some work.”

Her eyes widened as the young man stepped closer; she searched his face, barely hearing his words as she tried to determine if it was actually him. His voice had changed, lost a lot of the characteristic accent that she had loved to listen to. He was also a mess, but there he was, in front of her, alive.

“Allejandro.” The word left her as a soft sigh. She smiled slightly. “I’ve been looking for you for ages, Reyes.” She tried to speak as if they’d last seen each other a week ago. She failed, her voice shaking as she spoke, and she stepped slowly towards him, taking in his battered face. “When I told you to take care of yourself, this wasn’t what I meant.”

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[info]_ryder_
2009-01-18 12:08 pm UTC (link)
He stopped Rose a few feet from the girl, from Ellie. The buckskin mare craned her neck to sniff curiously as the stranger approached. Ryder couldn’t quite speak yet and he couldn’t take his eyes off of her. She looked more or less the same, it was as if someone had plucked her out of the past just as she was the last time he’d seen her, and stood her before him. Still, he wasn’t quite sure that it was really her until she spoke his former name, his real name, a name he hadn’t heard since his mother had screamed at him the last time he saw her alive. When was the last time he’d even considered that name? Everything came back to him in a wave.

He almost felt like he had tunnel vision, everything was happening in slow motion. He slid off of Rose as Elllie stepped closer. Rose immediatley walked away to investigate Cabello. He smiled as he took Ellie in, he couldn’t believe that she was alive; had she made it to Texas, had she ever returned to the ranch, how had she survived, what happened to Noodle? There were so many questions and memories running through his head that he hardly knew where to begin. “Hi,” he said slowly, realizing that she’d been talking about his face, “Oh, yeah, I’m all right really.” How long had it been? Almost four whole years? He felt dizzy.

“Ellie?” he said, as if saying her name would somehow either confirm that she was real or make her disappear. “I can’t, wow, is it really you?”


Italics=Spanish

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[info]_windchaser_
2009-02-02 12:21 pm UTC (link)
"Hi." She spoke softly, unable to think of anything better that it would be right to say at that moment. It had been so long since she'd heard that name. "Last time I checked." Windchaser said softly, her Spanish a little rusty. She noticed the smile on his face and returned it. She turned her head briefly to check on the horses. She looked at his face again, taking him in, as if he’d disappear if she blinked. He was skinnier than before, not that he'd ever been chunky.

His movements were wrong as he got off the horse, lacking the smoothness he'd always had and it clouded her thoughts for a moment, how had he got like that? Then again, she remembered the last time he'd had a kicking at home, that she'd tended to, to keep it from the attention of his parents. Getting his ass kicked over some unsuitable white girl. She had learned long ago that it hurt them both less not to ask, so she didn’t now. Anyway, she felt like she no longer had the right to, she wasn’t even sure if she ever had.

She desperately wanted to reach out and touch him, to reassure herself he was definitely standing in front of her, but something intangible stopped her, her hands curling towards him before she checked it and forced them back down to her sides. Things could well have changed. He might belong to someone else now, not that he’d ever belonged to her in the first place, and even before he’d always been the one to hug her first, as she fought to maintain her distance, to stop herself overstepping some invisible mark.

"And it's definitely you right?" She asked softly, a hint of longing in her soft Texan tones.

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[info]_ryder_
2009-02-03 01:13 pm UTC (link)
He chuckled at her Spanish. Her accent had never been quite right, but she’d always put forth such a good effort at learning the language of his family so he couldn’t stand to make much fun of her for it. She asked if it was really him. He nodded, for he couldn‘t bring himself to speak. Of course he was the same person in flesh and blood, but he had changed since he’d last been around her. There were whole parts of him that he buried in the shadows of the past; parts that he had chosen to completely forget about until his cabin burned down and it brought all of his memories crawling back to him. Strange that in all the times she could have shown up in the last four years, it was now.

She was one of the people that he’d buried in the graveyard of his memories and now she was here before him. Her accent. The man he’d met the other day had been from Texan, but there was something different about hers, unique. He felt his chest tighten and a lump form in his throat as he looked at her. He had to touch her, to feel her beneath his hands, to know that she was real. His heart beat increased. He took a step toward her and hesitantly touched her arm, just below her shoulder. He was smiling, but it was tainted with a a strange mix of sorrow and joy. He drew her into a hug, his arms wrapped tight around her. It was awkward at first, but once he felt the warmth of her, how solid and real she felt in his arms he relaxed and closed his eyes for a moment.

“Ellie, I can’t believe you’re here.” It had been so long and judging by his own personal experience outside of Sundance he’d assumed the worst. But she was no ghost, no mirage from the past. She was a real person that he could touch. He leaned back from her just enough so that he could look at her face, but his arms remained around her. “I’m so happy you’re here, you’re alive…”

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[info]_windchaser_
2009-02-05 01:48 pm UTC (link)
Windchaser sank into him as he hugged her, not sure if she should laugh or cry at finding him here, the one place that she'd decided to stay. Here and alive. When he touched her she felt him reacting the same way as she'd wanted to. Making sure she was real and there. Her heart leapt as he pulled her into the hug, breathing him in, he was different, he moved and sounded different, and something in him had to have changed to leave… She shook away the thought, it still hurt too much. It always would, she had said to herself that if she ever found him, she wouldn’t blame him, wouldn’t judge him, but wouldn’t love him. She would be able to prove to herself she had let him go.

Hey..." She reacted as he laughed at her Spanish, swatting his arm gently. "Haven't used Spanish in years...Always felt disloyal using it somewhere other than at the ranch." Her tone was playful, but the pain behind the words was obvious. God, she'd missed him, so much. She hadn’t let him go, she never would, he had been part of her all this time. The wind she had been chasing.

"Mhm, right here, alive." Windchaser tried to keep her tone light. She couldn't help herself, she reached up and touched his face, just making sure he was really there, in her arms. "Happy to be here too...I think" She didn't drop her hand from his face, searching the mess of bruises for the man she’d left behind, hoping she would find him.

“I don’t know what to say…I planned it in my head, and now…I don’t know what to say…” Windchaser dropped her gaze. “And I can’t believe I just admitted I planned what I would say to you if I ever found you again.”

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[info]_ryder_
2009-02-10 01:21 pm UTC (link)
He hadn’t used Spanish much himself either, unless he was speaking to the horses. Most of the time he completely ignored the Spanish part of himself in a further attempt to keep the demons of the past at bay. “I know what you mean…” he cleared his throat in an effort to rid himself of the lump that had formed there.

In their previous lives he’d shown her affection, and at times perhaps more than he should have even for the nature of his culture. It occurred to him that he should probably let her go but he couldn’t just yet. She felt so right in his arms. It was as if he was finally coming home after so many years of running away from it, and it was not the negative experience that he’d always told himself it would be. The warmth that he felt from her reminded him of the summers they had together on the ranch. In the time that she had been able to spare from her duties of his mother they’d studied Spanish, rode horses and explored the wilderness around the ranch. They’d been the kind of friends that only happened once in a life time. He shook his head, “It’s all right. I don’t know what to say either.” A sad huff of laughter followed his words. Though she seemed mostly the same to him, there was no escaping the fact that they had both changed. They were both older now and had lived in completely different worlds the last four years.

She touched his face and he breathed deeply in her presence. Now he felt a tinge of long-suppressed guilt begin to creep up inside of him. How could he have never made the effort to go look for her? How could he have given up on her life so easily- but most importantly, how could he have neglected to keep her memory alive? He pulled her to him in another tight hug, despite the physical pain it gave him to do such a thing. “Let’s sit down, are you hungry?” He’d just been to the trading post and had a rather good supply of snacks in his saddlebags and though she didn’t look too unhealthy he had no idea where she’d come from. He stepped away from her but he kept an arm around her shoulders to lead her to the base of the large tree she’d just been sitting under herself.

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[info]_windchaser_
2009-02-10 02:30 pm UTC (link)
Windchaser leaned into him as he pulled her away, as if losing physical contact with him would make him flicker and disappear like a ghost. She had grown so used to seeing 'him', in every tribe she visited, everywhere she went. She could still barely believe it was actually him.The person she'd adored for years, the person she'd lost so long ago.

As he'd hugged her she'd held onto him, tighter than she probably should have, but she'd missed him, so much, sometimes she'd wanted to give up on him, but she couldn't, ever, it would have been like giving up on herself. In a way she was angry with him, she had fought her way to find him...had he even thought of her, she wanted to ask him, but was afraid of the pain the answer might bring.

The rosary he'd given her seemed to burn against her skin. She'd placed it around her neck shortly after she'd ridden away from him, the tears still clouding her eyes. She felt odd now, wondered if he'd see it, realise she'd never taken it off, that she had touched it when she'd been afraid to give her strength that had nothing to do with any god.

"Yeah, I could eat." Windchaser muttered softly, dropping beneath the tree, straightening the leg of her jeans to try and prevent him seeing the hilt of the short knife in her boot.

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[info]_ryder_
2009-02-12 12:25 pm UTC (link)
He gave her shoulders a reassuring squeeze when she leaned into him before they went to the tree. After she sat down he turned back to Rose who was a little ways off grazing rather contentedly next to Ellie’s horse. He unlatched one of the saddlebags and pulled out his satchel and swung it over his shoulder. He pulled two apples from his bag and gave one to Rose then to Ellie’s horse. He scratched the horse’s forehead then ran his hands along the horses neckline and kneeled down to look at his legs and hooves. He wondered what had happened to Noodle and hoped that it hadn’t been the same fate that his own horse, Sparrow had suffered. He loved Rose but he would never forget his beloved Arabian.

He brushed his hands off on his jeans and returned to the tree to take a sear next to Ellie, his side resting against hers. “He’s nice.” he said with a smile as he opened his bag again and took out a few strips of deer jerky and two more apples. “What’s his name?” He wanted to ask her how she’d found the horse, and where she’d been the last three-four years but somehow those things were caught in his throat. He handed her a strip of jerky and an apple before leaning back against the tree and biting into his own. It wasn’t that he didn’t have anything to say to her or even that he didn’t know what to say, it was just that there was so many things to say he didn’t know where to start. “No one here calls me Allejandro.” He took another bite of his apple and leaned his head back against the tree as he stared across the field. He didn’t know why he had started with that, it just came out. He shook his head, “The people I live with now, and the people here that know me call me Ryder.” He chuckled, “It’s kind of a funny actually…” He looked at her with a sad grin.

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[info]_windchaser_
2009-02-12 01:37 pm UTC (link)
She took the apple, smiling almost shyly up at him."He's Cabello, he's my dude." Windchaser replied, laughing softly at herself. That horse had listened to her rattle more about her past than anyone. They'd spent vast amounts of time alone moving between tribes and he'd become her best friend, the one person she'd never left behind, and to her he was a person.

"I'm Windchaser...I was given that name by the first tribe I refused to stay with." She said softly. "When I was on the way back to..." She trailed off, not able to admit to him that she'd kept her promise to herself, and gone back to the ranch. Gone home.

"What's funny?" She said softly looking into his sad face, the eyes she'd always felt she could drown in if she looked into for too long. She wanted to ask him a hundred things.

Had he missed her? Where had he been? Why had he not buried his mother? but she never asked him any of it, she just leaned into him slightly again.

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[info]_ryder_
2009-02-12 02:29 pm UTC (link)
Ryder smiled at the way she spoke of her horse. "Ah, Cabello." A Spanish name. "One of his shoes isn't fitting right. I can fix it for you. I don't have the tools myself but the Wolves, one of the main tribes around here, do and I do other horse work for them."

Windchaser. Ryder wasn't normally one to look into the meanings of things but this was pretty obvious, and the way that she hesitated... He had not forgotten her promise not their agreement the last time he'd seen her. He felt like a coward for not having kept it, but he didn't know how he possibly could have stayed there after what he'd seen, what he'd heard. He wondered if she'd gone back there, if she'd seen the unthinkable...

He shook his head, "It's just silly, these nicknames." He liked his new name enough but he didn't feel as though it was really him. He felt like Ryder was an abstraction for this new person he'd made himself into though he didn't really fit. On the other hand Allejandro was too steeped in his past, that name went too far back, the history of it was enough to drown him. No, he was stuck somewhere in the middle of those two names, in some kind of identity limbo that he hadn't even realized existed until moments ago when she'd addressed him as his old self.

A tense silence fell between them as Ryder finished his apple and tossed the core to the horses. He slipped his piece of jerky back into his bag, he had suddenly lost his appetite. "Ellie, can you tell me what happened to you?" He spoke slowly and only turned to look at her as he spoke the following words, "Did you find your family?" His voice was quiet as if the speaking such things aloud would raise the very horros of the past before their eyes.

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[info]_windchaser_
2009-02-12 02:59 pm UTC (link)
Ellie watched Cabello munch on the apple core, wrapping her arms around herself as he asked the question, trying to keep breathing normally. She shut her eyes and began talking in her soft voice.
"I found them, but it took too long. Huston was crazy. There were dead people everywhere and those that were left seemed to have forgotten they were human. There were riots and looting, and when I tried to stop a rape, I got attacked too. I fought back, but the girl died..." She trailed off, aware she was shaking.

"I was too late...They were both dead when I got home. I remember...The first thing I really saw was my mothers' vegetable garden. It was trashed, they'd ripped up everything, and I thought 'She's gonna be so mad'. I walked into the house talking about it...There were..." Her eyes flickered open. "...Flies, everywhere, and a terrible smell."

"I buried them out back, can't even remember what I said. Then I took what was left, and turned around...I'd promised you I'd bring Noodle back remember?" Her voice cracked. "When we were nearly back, there were a group of men, they jumped me, I was really scared that they were going to... but the leader said he 'didn't want no nigger' so they just knocked me out, took everything I had... Noodle. I remember, I woke up and there was blood, and I remember thinking I couldn't bring Noodle home, that I'd let you down. Only time I've ever been pleased that someone was a racist." She let out a shaky laugh.

"I walked the rest of the way, and when I got there..." A tear tracked unnoticed down her cheek. "I buried her, with as much respect as I buried my own family." She said softly.

"I looked for you Allejandro...I looked, because I'd promised...I left when I knew I couldn't survive in the ruins, waited as long as I could, but you never came back." She drew her knees up to her chin. "Then I became this, a drifter.

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[info]_ryder_
2009-02-13 04:37 pm UTC (link)
Her words drew from him a painful silence that penetrated his very core. How easy it had been for him to forget the way the world was a little over three years ago when everything had gone to hell. He’d been spared the horror of the cities but he could only imagine. His chest tightened and his breathing grew shallow. He had to look away from her when she spoke of rape, and the girl dying. He swallowed thickly and sat his bag to his side so that he could draw his knees up against himself in an effort to abate the echo of his mother’s screams and frantic Spanish as that creep had gotten on top of her…

He could feel Ellie shaking against him and he wanted to comfort her but he felt frozen to the spot. He knew that his question had been loaded but he hadn’t been expecting the suffocating wave of terror that had come over him. He rested his head on top of his knees and closed his eyes but as much as he wanted too he could not close his ears, he had to hear everything she was saying. He sat snuggly against the tree, holding his knees against himself, letting whatever emotion that each part of her story brought up to wash over him.

He began to feel nauscious as she spoke of being attacked, and racism having saved her… He could hardly comprehend the things she was saying… and then Noodle and her promise. His jaw tightened in an effort to keep the lump in his throat from turning to tears. He’d avoided all of these feelings for so long that he didn’t know how to begin to deal with them. I buried her. Those words brought him to his feet and he took a few steps away from her, his back to her and his hands on the back of his head. …you never came back…. He ran a hand through his hair and down his face before turning back to her, though he stilll stood several paces from her. His hand was on his forehead and he let it drop with a shrug and a shake of his head. He realized then that he’d been holding his breath for the last minute and took a deep breath.

“I couldn’t bury her Ellie. I couldn‘t touchher…” His voice was quiet with desperation. “I couldn’t go back there.” He walked over to her and squatted in front of her. “I’m so sorry… I didn’t keep the promise.” He shook his head, his eyes were so full of tears that if he moved wrong they’d all spill down his face.

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[info]_windchaser_
2009-02-13 04:57 pm UTC (link)
Windchaser stared at him for a heartbeat. She'd almost forgotten he was there. She'd never told anyone all this. It haunted her dreams still. It had torn her apart, until she felt that she was no longer real. Like it happened to someone else, like Ellie Trantor hadn't been been alive to witness and Windchaser was born there. In blood and ashes and pain.

She wanted to scream at him, to slap him, to tell him she loathed him for leaving her to bury his mother, but when she looked at him, his eyes full and pained, she couldn't. She'd never stopped loving him, and now that feeling was so sharp it nearly killed her.

She reached out to him pulling him to her, without even thinking, the years and the pain falling away in the need to make it better for him. "It's OK, I dealt with it. I'm back now."

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[info]_ryder_
2009-02-14 11:18 am UTC (link)
It used to be that he was the one to always reach out to her and pull her into a hug, but now it was the opposite. He fell to his knees as she pulled him against her, his arms wrapping tightly around her. A couple of tears ran down his cheeks but he quickly wiped them away with the back of his hand. She said that it was ok, but it wasn’t. Here she’d just spilled her guts to him about the horrible trials she’d been through and he was the one freaking out, he was the one receiving comfort from her.

She’d been through so much, even taken care of things that he should have- she had kept all of her promises and then some. Then there he was, living the cushy tribe lifestyle since Hawk had found him half-dead in a northern field. God, he felt so selfish and disgusted with himself. He pulled back from her so that he could see her, but he could barely stand to look her in the eye. That was when he noticed his abuelita’s, his grandmother’s, rosary around her neck.

This was all too much for him to handle at the moment. His thoughts were going a million miles an hour. “Ellie..” He shook his head and pulled himself from her grasp so that he could stand. He looked at her for a moment before grabbing his back and slinging it over his shoulders. He had to leave but he hardly knew what to say, “Where are you staying, are you staying here in Sundance?”

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[info]_windchaser_
2009-02-14 11:29 am UTC (link)
Windchaser held him for a moment, offering him what comfort she could, worried as he pulled back from her.

"The wolves...The room that Grey had apparently." She said softly. She knew what this was, him distancing himself from her, just like before she'd left the ranch. "They...don't know my name is Ellie...Haven't used it in a while." She didn't mean to stare at him, but she found herself doing it.

"And you're Ryder right? With?" She kept talking to stop herself losing it. Her head was reeling, she'd told him more than she'd never told anyone. Her head ached and she felt as if she was going to throw up, but she showed none of it on her face.

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Fin
[info]_ryder_
2009-02-19 06:49 pm UTC (link)
He watched her though tried not to really look at her. Instead he was concentrating on making a mental note of all the things she was saying. Wolves, her own room, Windchaser. He took a few more backwards steps and nodded. “Ryder. The Twin Feathers, just ask for me at the canopys.” He shook his head and turned to gather Rose’s reigns so that he could hop on her. His side was killing him but his emotional distress far outweighed his physical problems. “I have to leave, I’m sorry… I’ll find you again.”

He hopped onto Rose with the ease that he used to though it cost him a hefty stab of pain that made him feel for a moment as if he could no longer breathe. He nudged Rose into trot and by the time he’d disappeared amongst the northern trees he was at a full run.

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