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dickmeth ([info]dickmeth) wrote in [info]deth_hart,
@ 2009-03-17 20:30:00

Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
Entry tags:hawkins, james, mick

Mick/James { Hawkins :: Remenissions }
Mick had stormed off to his room after his fight with Jimmy, his throat fucking hurting like hell and it was making it hard to breathe. Every inhale stung like a bitch. Not to mention, the back of his head was pounding from where he was slammed against the wall and he fucking hated it. This wasn't the pain he liked to get off on, and that pissed him off.

It was only ten minutes after sitting around in his room that he decided he was going to talk to James. If anyone would care, it'd be him. As much as he didn't want to be told he was a disappointment for forgetting whatever James had helped him with before, he really had missed the doctor, and he didn't know who else he could turn to. Syn wouldn't necessarily give a shit.

So there he was: standing in front of James' office door, staring at the number on the door before he let his eyes slip shut. His chest was tight and his headache had doubled over, but he still lifted his hand and knocked lightly on the door. He just hoped he was here after all this forcing himself to come here.

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[info]hartbreak
2009-03-17 07:43 pm UTC (link)
James had been worried about Mick since he'd first got the comment on his journal, and he was hoping that the patient would come by and see him. He hadn't really been able to sleep well the night before because he kept thinking and felt like he'd failed Mick. He'd given him everything he could to help him get at least a little better... and it seemed like the guy had forgotten everything. He was sure it wasn't Mick's fault, so he had no plans to lecture him.

He had been doing some paperwork on some of the other patients when he heard the soft knock on the door. His brows furrowed and he stood, running his hand through his hair and pushing off his leather chair. He made his way to the door, which had been slightly cracked open, and he pulled it the rest of the way open.

"Hey, Mick." James' voice was soft, but it was obvious he was happy to see the other man by the small smile on his face. He tilted his head a little and opened the door more to allow Mick inside. "Come on in." He looked him over and saw the red marks on his neck, but he didn't question, really. He knew if Mick was going to tell him, he would.

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[info]dickmeth
2009-03-17 07:51 pm UTC (link)
Mick stood there at the door, tempted to just go back to his room before James opened the door, but once he heard the doctor's voice, he had nowhere to go. His eyes flicked up to James, seeing the small smile on his face. That eased his thoughts a little, but not enough to push back the sudden irrational (or so he thought) feelings that were suddenly raging through him, making his eyes sting. He didn't say anything as he walked in, slipping by James to sit down in the leather chair in front of the desk, knowing where to go by now. Once he was in the chair, he slid down into it a little, his arms wrapping over his stomach.

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[info]hartbreak
2009-03-17 07:56 pm UTC (link)
James just nodded silently to himself as he watched Mick walk into the room and sit in the chair in front of his desk. He smiled a little and followed, leaning against the desk a little off-center so he wasn't right in front of the other man. He knew by this time that sitting behind a desk like most doctors did put too much of a communication rift between them. "What's up?" he asked softly. It was a noncommittal question, not prodding or anything. It was generic - Mick could talk about anything. Hell, he could talk about how the moon was really made of cheese if he wanted to. He just liked his patients to talk, even if it had nothing to do with anything.

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[info]dickmeth
2009-03-17 08:06 pm UTC (link)
When James asked what was up, Mick really didn't know what to say. He had no idea why he was even here, what he wanted to talk about, or why the hell he was even about to cry. All of this made absolutely no sense to him. He licked over his lips and sighed, turning his head as he bit his lip. "I .. I don't even know why I'm here," he muttered, standing up from the chair to turn back to the door.

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[info]hartbreak
2009-03-17 08:09 pm UTC (link)
James had had a feeling he was going to get that reply first-off because of the reply he'd gotten online. He'd already felt out a little bit of the damage, but it seemed like it was worse than he'd initially thought. "Mick, please don't leave." His voice was still somewhat gentle, but he stood up off the desk and stepped closer to the door. He could tell something was up with the other man, and he didn't really know what to do until he was able to get the guy to talk.

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[info]dickmeth
2009-03-17 08:17 pm UTC (link)
Mick had taken a few steps towards the door before he heard James, and that .. that was what he'd wanted to hear. He felt a tear slide down his cheek as he bit his lip harder. He was quiet, keeping himself facing the door as he wrapped his arms around his stomach again. "Wh .. why did you abandon me?" He asked, his voice quiet and shaky, not even sure if he should've asked that.

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[info]hartbreak
2009-03-17 08:20 pm UTC (link)
James was taken aback by the question, but only because it'd come out so early. He had completely been expecting the question because he was sure Mick thought he had done just that. And he was right. Damn it, this was why he wanted to keep himself on the case! God, that pissed him off, but he couldn't let that show. It'd probably be taken the wrong way, and he wouldn't want that.

"I didn't abandon you," he said softly, walking up closer to the other man, standing almost next to him but a little behind him as well. He didn't treat his patients like patients unless they gave him a reason to do so and Mick hadn't yet. "They took me off your case after the assault, Mick. I fought for months to get it back but they wouldn't."

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[info]dickmeth
2009-03-17 08:28 pm UTC (link)
Mick gripped at his stomach a little harder, a few more tears managing to escape as he listened to James, his head falling forward. "Th- .. they put m-me in that r-room by myself for m-months, James. I w- .. was so f-fucking lonely, it drove me crazy," he murmured, lifting his head to look back to James, his eyes dark and almost needy.

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[info]hartbreak
2009-03-17 08:34 pm UTC (link)
James listened to the words Mick was saying, and it broke his heart because he almost felt like he could have prevented it all. He could have. He wasn't sure how but... He sighed and frowned deeply. "I'm so sorry, Mick," he said quietly, reaching out for the other man's arm, resting his tattooed hand lightly on his forearm, knowing very well Mick could shove him off any time. He almost expected him to either lash out or throw himself into James' arms and he was prepared for either. He'd always been a relatively touchy-feely person even with patients, and with Mick there was no exception.

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[info]dickmeth
2009-03-17 08:39 pm UTC (link)
Mick felt the fingers against his arm, but he didn't lash out. He didn't throw himself at James, he just stood there, tears still flowing down his cheeks. It took him a few moments before he let his eyes shut, turning to face James as he got closer to him and let his head rest on James' with a little thud, just wanting to be close to him for now. It was a strange feeling, but one that he'd missed.

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[info]hartbreak
2009-03-17 08:42 pm UTC (link)
James just watched Mick closely, keeping his hand on his arm through the painfully silent moments, just watching and waiting. He was barely breathing as he did so, and when Mick came closer to him and pressed their heads together, he gave a small smile and licked over his lips. The small thud barely registered in his mind because he'd probably been knocked in the head too many times for it to matter much. "I'm not going anywhere this time, okay?" he murmured, pressing his head lightly back against Mick's.

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[info]dickmeth
2009-03-17 08:49 pm UTC (link)
Mick bit his lip, nodding a little before he moved closer and wrapped his arms around James' neck, moving his head to bury his face into James' neck rather awkwardly. He didn't want James to leave again. It hurt too badly the last time.

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[info]hartbreak
2009-03-17 08:53 pm UTC (link)
James sighed lowly when he felt Mick wrap his arms around him and bury his face. He wrapped one arm around Mick's waist, pulling him close while his other hand slid up into the other man's hair, stroking his fingers through it as he held Mick close to him. He was sure this was probably violating some doctor/patient law, but oh well. He wasn't sure if it was enabling either, but it didn't matter. This was what Mick needed and he was more about the patient than anything else.

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[info]reverendeth
2009-03-17 09:21 pm UTC (link)
Mick wasn't really sure if this would be the 'enabling' that James had mentioned before, but right now he didn't really care. This felt nice, and he liked it. But after a moment, he finally pulled back and looked up to James, offering his doctor a small little smile before he let his arms fall from his neck, though his hands rested on his neck instead of fully falling from him. "I've missed you. That other doctor was an asshole."

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[info]hartbreak
2009-03-17 10:03 pm UTC (link)
James let his hand slide through Mick's hair and rested it on the arch of his back before the other man pulled away. He gave a small smile in return and moved back, but not away. Just enough to see Mick's face. He was kind of stuck in a quandary here, suddenly. If he told Mick he'd missed him, it would be enabling, but not telling him would be lying. He preferred going with the first option. "I've missed you, too."

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[info]reverendeth
2009-03-18 08:13 am UTC (link)
Mick had smiled a little as he'd felt the hand going through his hair; it felt nice to feel wanted. When James told him he'd missed him too, he smiled a little more and gripped gently at his shoulders before he let his hands fall completely from the doctor, moving to sit back in the chair. "So, Jimmy tried to kill me again," he started, glancing up to James with a raised brow. Maybe he'd do something about what happened.

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[info]hartbreak
2009-03-18 08:20 pm UTC (link)
James returned the small smile and let his own hands fall from Mick, running his hand through his hair and moved back over to the desk. He looked over his shoulder with a raised eyebrow himself when he heard that Jimmy had already tried to kill Mick again. He sighed and rolled his eyes. "Shit, I had a feeling he was going to do that," he mumbled, turning to face Mick. "Well, I can do one of two things: I can talk to him, or get him into isolation for a while. It might do him some good to sort out his thoughts in there."

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[info]reverendeth
2009-03-18 09:33 pm UTC (link)
Mick crossed his arms over his chest as he listened to James, nodding firmly at his suggestions. Oh, yea, he totally agreed. "I think he should go into isolation. Let him see what he put me through." He said definitively, pushing out his lower lip in a slight pout to try to get his way; his logic was reasonable for once, so he wasn't completely trying to manipulate the doctor and get his way. It was just, to him, the right choice.

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[info]hartbreak
2009-03-18 09:36 pm UTC (link)
James lifted an eyebrow at the pout that Mick was giving him and he sighed, shaking his head and rolling his eyes. He hated when patients pulled that especially when he'd been the one to offer up the suggestion in the first place. He did not like being manipulated. And Mick surely knew it. "I offered it, Mick, you don't need to try and manipulate me into something I've suggested," he told the patient.

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[info]reverendeth
2009-03-18 09:39 pm UTC (link)
The instant Mick saw the lifted brow, he knew James had figured him out. He remembered clearly that James didn't like that, but he just couldn't help himself to try. "I know," he said, his head ducking down as he bit his bottom lip, his voice softer and almost reflecting the tone of a child that had just been scolded.

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[info]hartbreak
2009-03-18 09:43 pm UTC (link)
James was glad that his voice hadn't been harsh at all, and in fact had merely been a bit scolding, but not that bad. He knew he didn't have to treat patients like children unless they acted like one. And besides, he had a pretty mean pout himself. He knew the game. "I'll make the arrangements when we're done here," he suggested, glancing behind him on the desk and pulling out a form that he'd have to fill out for putting Jimmy in isolation. He was just, mostly, glad that it was the nurses that put patients in isolation, not the doctors.

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[info]reverendeth
2009-03-18 09:56 pm UTC (link)
Mick kept himself quiet as James told him he'd get it taken care of; he wanted to smirk, he wanted to snicker, but he kept it to himself. He'd have plenty of time to laugh at his ex-roommate. He worried over his bottom lip as he averted his eyes from James, trying to think over what else there was to go over. He wasn't really sure, but James had mentioned something earlier. "What .. what did you mean by we have a lot to catch up on? Did you mean because I haven't seen you in nine months?"

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[info]hartbreak
2009-03-18 10:00 pm UTC (link)
Yeah, laughing over this probably wouldn't reflect well on Mick in James' eyes, so he was glad the other man kept himself quiet. He set the paper down and glanced over at the question. "Well, yes, that's basically what I meant," he said; we also need to undo everything that asshole doctor said or did to you, he thought but didn't say. He didn't want to jump into that right away. He wasn't close enough to Mick anymore - rather, yet again - to say things like that. "Nine months is a long time."

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[info]reverendeth
2009-03-18 10:05 pm UTC (link)
Mick nodded a little, shifting in the seat. He was beginning to feel a bit uncomfortable, thinking back over the months he spent in isolation alone and how he cried just about every day because he missed this guy. Because he felt dumped, unloved. Now he knew it hadn't been James' fault, but the idea of it all still made him uneasy. It still made him feel like he'd disappointed James somehow, and that this was just his nice way of saying he'd gone right back to being fucked up again. "Well .. what do you want to talk about then?" He asked, trying to find some way to start a conversation the right way, from what he remembered, anyway. James had always said to ask about the other person to balance out the conversation. He'd forgotten it until now.

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[info]hartbreak
2009-03-18 10:12 pm UTC (link)
James knew better than anyone that this was not Mick's fault, the fact that he'd slipped from being better off to... this. Denying that anything was wrong, when something obviously was. He wasn't disappointed in the other man because there was nothing to be disappointed in. He'd been left alone without proper counsel for nine months; he didn't consider that through any fault of Mick's. He considered the question a moment, chewing his bottom lip before looking right at the other man. "Anything, it doesn't matter. You can talk about whatever's on your mind, you know I don't mind hearing you ramble," he said with a small smile. He didn't force people to talk about their problems right off the bat like some doctors did. He preferred conversation to psychoanalysis.

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