Ehren had done what he’d always done, screwed things up. Except this time it wasn’t because he was a needy and nervous anxious person but because he’d decided to change. He’d actually met someone who liked who he was with anxiety and he’d gone and completely changed. It had been weighing on his mind the last couple of days since the wolf turned naked man had walked out of his apartment.
He wasn’t the same though and if he was, he would have accepted his fate and probably never spoken to Logan again. He wasn’t going to let that happen this time. Ehren had felt comfortable around him, even with his crippling anxiety and there was no way he was going to give that up.
It was mid afternoon when he finally found the courage to knock on Logan’s door, praying that he was actually home.
Logan had been dozing when the knock came. At first he’d missed the sound completely - the television was on to provide a bit of background noise but there was nothing on the screen save for the black and white static. Whatever program had been on was long over and nothing would replace it for the foreseeable future.
Days off tended to be too long, too boring. It gave him too much time to think, to retrace mental steps and consider over again the whys, the hows, the could’ves, the should’ves. Past and present.
So in an effort to keep himself from doing something crazy out of boredom Logan opted for a nap.
It was when the next knock came that Logan finally heard it. Rousing from sleep, the light masquerade of dozing couldn’t really be called sleep but he was trying, his eyes opened and Logan pushed himself up from the cushions.
Rubbing an eye, he padded to the door clad only in basketball shorts. It was then the obstacle was pulled away from the jamb and he saw Ehren standing there in the mouth of the threshold.
“Hey,” he breathed, watching the other man with curiosity.
Logan looked tired, like he’d just woken up from sleep but Ehren could hear the faint buzz of a channel long gone off the air. “Hey.” He replied, still shy. From his hands he produced a six pack of beer and handed it to Logan. “Can we talk?” He asked, hoping against all hope that the answer was yes. These past few days had gotten Ehren to thinking a lot about many things and one subject on his mind a lot was Logan.
He couldn’t stand the way they ended things, couldn’t bare to stand the thought that things might be done between him so he wanted to talk, to try and figure out a way to make things right.
It came as a bit of a shock the developments of the next few seconds - palms would lift as the six pack of beers was set into his grasp. What time was it? Apparently it was time to drink. While he would’ve protested (albeit kindly) the second thing had him biting it back. “Sure. Come in.”
Logan turned and moved away from the door so that Ehren could get inside. The other man had been at his place before, it hadn’t changed at all save for the meager sheet on the couch that sat in a twisted crumple and the pillow sagged in the middle from where Logan had been snoozing on it.
Feet would carry him back to the couch. The beer would be set on the coffee table, and then Logan turned and walked into the bedroom to find a shirt.
Only when he’d pulled on a light blue v-neck tee did he come back to find the other man. “What’s up?”
Hand would motion for Ehren to sit. The couch was the only place anyone could do any sitting or relaxing - he didn’t have chairs other than those at the kitchen table which he never used.
Following Logan inside he sat down on the couch and waited for him to return. His apartment looked so much like Ehren’s, completely bare save for some furniture. The only thing his place lacked was the manuscripts that littered Ehren’s apartment and the old fashioned typewriter. “The beer is a gift for whenever you want it. I just, I came over because I wanted to talk about what happened the other morning.”
Ehren wasn’t sure he really understood it himself. Logan seemed fine and then it was like he’d hit a nerve and he had no idea how he’d done it. Placing his hands in his lap he thought about what he could say.
“I know the idea that I, got rid of something, didn’t sit well with you. I’m still trying to adjust to it myself. I don’t feel different but people have been treating me differently and it’s something I’m not sure I’ll ever get used to.”
He sat back on the couch. “Have you ever had a panic attack?” He then asked Logan, to create some context in what he was trying to explain.
Two of the beers would be taken from the container, one offered to Ehren. The other was for himself. As he settled down on the couch next to the other man, Logan would pivot slightly so as to offer his full attention. His gaze would only divert to get the bottle open using a nearby bottle opener. He opened Ehren’s bottle too for good measure.
Listening was something he wasn’t always good at but without distractions he had no other choice. That, and it seemed there was an opportunity to get to know Ehren a little better. Quirks about others were things learned over time between people, it wasn’t uncommon for people to change but a drastic one like that was surprising.
“Look,” Logan breathed, sighing softly. He took a moment to process his thoughts so he didn’t upset Ehren and also didn’t misconstrue or communicate incorrectly.
“I don’t know much about you,” he confessed softly, holding up his free hand to avoid interruption for now. “And you don’t know a lot about me. I can have a bit of a short temper. Say stuff I don’t always mean. From the times I have had a chance to talk or interact with you, I’ve sort of grown to find the little things about you sort of …” his hand would wave some as he tried to find the word he wanted. He settled for “...you. They’re kind of what make you who you are. I think it was just a little bit surprising to see you acting different. Not in a bad way, confidence looks good on you. But I worried a little that something happened. Maybe you hit your head or …. maybe that sounds stupid.”
His hand would lower to allow Ehren to continue with his point. “I can’t say I’ve ever had a panic attack.” A sip from his beer and he waited for the other to continue.
A small smile played on his lips as Logan tried to describe what he liked about Ehren. He accepted the offered beer and began to sip at it gingerly, even though it was far too early to start drinking. Thankfully he didn’t work today, so the repercussions were not as large. “It doesn’t sound stupid, I appreciate your concern.” He replied quickly, placing the beer down next to him so that he could just talk for a moment.
Now was the time to talk about what panic attacks meant for Ehren. It was obvious that he couldn’t explain in detail, at least not near the eyes and ears of the cameras, but he could explain well enough. “For a long time, I’ve suffered from anxiety. I don’t mean that I just got nervous every once in a while. I mean I was on medication up until a few years ago.”
His arm came up in gesture while he spoke. “My panic attacks were… extreme. It feels like your whole body is about to shut down and that fear only makes it worse. I…” he thought about a good word for it. “...I would pass out after a panic attack. Sometimes for a short amount of time, sometimes for hours and it would leave my body in this completely anemic state.” He sighed, there was no way to tell Logan why it was important for him to be off his medication.
“Can you understand now, why I had to do it?” He asked Logan, hopeful that he might understand at least a little bit.
Part of him was glad that the words weren’t taken out of context, he didn’t want to hurt anyone but something always happened that wasn’t always in his favor. The rest of him was now curious as to the hard Why he knew was coming.
This - whatever Ehren had done to himself - was still a mystery. Questions bubbled up behind his lips that would go unasked. He didn’t want anyone prying into his life, so he didn’t pry into anyone else’s.
“Yes,” he said instead, nodding. The word would be chased with another sip from his beer.
The words were affirmative, but it didn’t sound to Ehren like it was very convincing. Still, Logan was right, they didn’t know enough about each other yet and he hoped he could prove he was still the same person. “Thank you.” He replied, grabbing his beer again to take a sip of it.
“There are a lot of things I want to be able to tell you, but I don’t think I’m ready for that yet. I can see you probably have a lot you’re not willing to tell yet, and that’s ok. Like I said before, I’m patient.” And god dammit was he trying hard to be. In just a few meetings Logan had entered his brain and refused to let go. Something like that was worth waiting for.
Attempting to lighten the subject a bit, Ehren smiled again. “I finished the book you got me.”
Those things would come with time. He wasn’t ready yet to talk about certain parts of his life with anyone else. Even after five years of time it was still challenging, it scared him. But then existing really wasn’t living, was it? Did he want that?
Another sip would be taken and he continued to listen, keeping his gaze on Ehren. This was how people got to know each other, they spent time together, hung out.
“Guess we had that drink alone together,” he commented with amusement, taking another sip from the bottle.
“Is that the one you had with you the other night?” He was glad Ehren had enjoyed it.
Ehren sipped at his beer and smirked at the comment of drinking alone together. “Yeah I couldn’t really put it down, that’s why I was up so late.” That and not having crippling anxiety really gave him more energy than he was entirely used to.
“It about this wizard whose trying to get into this prestigious wizarding school, think Harry Potter but for adults. His father was a famous bard and…” he stopped for a moment. Sometimes Ehren didn’t realize that people didn’t get into fantasy as much as he did.
“I’m sorry, you probably don’t really care about that.” He said as his face started to turn a bit red. He sipped at his beer again, noticing the bottle was already half empty.
“Harry Potter,” Logan repeated, taking a moment to try to recall what that was. It sounded familiar to him. “The kid who is a wizard or something, with that — scar thing, right?” A hand would wave across his own forehead as if to mimic the scar he knew was there from the story. He didn’t know much about the tales.
Honestly he didn’t read much at all. Maybe it was better to hear the stories, or maybe he needed to broaden his horizons.
“I like it when you tell them.” A bit of a smile would be offered. Another sip from the beer would be taken.
His smile returned and he nodded his head taking another sip of beer. “Yeah that’s the one. Anyway, he’s a kid and he almost gets killed but he’s left to live in like the wizards ghetto, like a really bad crime-ridden city. I forgot to mention he’s also a bard. He meets this girl and he falls in love with her. I mean there’s so much to this story, there’s a prequel and two other sequels attached.”
It was easy to see the Ehren that Logan had spent time with that day because being around Logan his natural confidence had shown through. “I’m not really easy to please when it comes to
Fantasy but I was really impressed.” He added. The story had so much more but he was sure Logan didn’t want to hear him recount the entire book.
Listening to the summary of the story he nodded along, relaxed and fascinated a bit. While he heard the words Logan was watching more the way Ehren’s eyes and face lit up as he spoke about the story.
“Sounds good,” he confirmed, nodding. He didn’t have a specific genre that he liked - at one point he’d been super into history, specifically world wars one and two, and a few biographies on some presidents.
The beer in his hand was finished and he set the bottle aside. “I can tell.”
“Thanks again for getting it for me. I’m probably going to head to the library at some point today to grab the next one. Or maybe the prequel, I’m not sure yet.” He replied finishing off his beer and placing it down. It felt good to be here, like whatever had happened the other morning had just vanished. He was glad he’d made it a point to come talk to Logan instead of moping around his house.
He was silent for a moment while he studied the other man, the quiet strength he gave off. It was becoming harder and harder for Ehren to deny that he was wildly attracted to Logan. Something held him back from saying anything though, like he could tell that the time wasn’t right.
“Do you have a favorite book?” He wondered aloud. He’d mentioned that he read some but never really elaborated on the kinds of books he did like to read.
“I wanted to,” he confessed, nodding, “I’m really glad you liked it so much.” It felt good to do something nice for someone else, especially someone who could probably use something nice. It was interesting to see the intrigue there for the other books in the series, too. “You’ll have to tell me what you end up with.”
They looked at each other, sharing a silent moment together. He didn’t mind the quiet exchange - sometimes those could say much more than words. There was no doubt that he wasn’t ready yet to take any steps toward anything with commitment It wasn’t fair to anyone else, him dragging his feet.
Shaking his head at Ehren, he frowned a little, “No, not really.” Processing his next thought, Logan tilted his head a little, “I always liked biographies, history too. Old civilizations, sorts of people and cultures.”
Maybe that was boring but he found it fascinating.
It wasn’t boring at all. If anything, Ehren’s incessant fantasy obsession could be a little boring for those not interested in the genre. His smile grew wider at the mention of history. “Wow, that’s actually really cool. I mean, I like history too. Mostly when it’s in relation to art but it really is magnificent, human history.”
He had to think of some way to stay on this subject since it seemed like it might give him more insight on Logan himself. “Give me an example. What was the last thing you read about?” Maybe he could get the quiet man to say more than a few words. Up until a few minutes ago, Logan had said barely a full sentence to him, and now he was hoping for more of that.
He didn’t find fantasy genre boring - he just didn’t know much about it to be part of any in depth conversation. In his time off of the island Logan had watched a few fantasy movies, or ones he suspected had fallen into that genre, but for the most part he didn’t worry about going to the movies that often. They had been doing good at making ends meet and surviving.
“A lot of humanity is really fascinating,” He explained, smiling a little. “The good things and the bad things, as weird as that sounds. You know, like, the stuff Hitler did was crazy but it’s interesting to sort of see the how and the why.” He didn’t approve of any of that but the inner workings of why things arose and how they came about interested him to no end.
When inquired of, he took a minute to think, “I picked up a magazine at the library a few weeks ago and flipped through the pages, you know. Uh, and there was this article on the Pyramids. Pretty fascinating.”
Ehren felt himself relax back into the couch Logan and him were sitting on. He hoped he wasn’t stopping Logan from something, although he imagined the other man might tell him if he had something else to do. “It is really fascinating. Over the years there have been so many different theories on it. To this day there are still some rooms they’re pretty sure they haven’t discovered yet. Not like they will, air sort of degrades the tomb.”
If any one thing about Ehren could be said is that he had a vast library of random knowledge from being a book nerd. “And ancient Egyptian obelisks, all one solid piece of stone standing higher than any man can. It’s some serious engineering genius.” He added.
He could understand what Ehren was saying and find some camaraderie in it. Logan was glad for the chance to be able to have a discussion that didn’t include magic or dragons, though that was still something he found a bit interesting considering he hadn’t put much thought into it before. Nodding at the other man in agreement, he relaxed backward as well, glad that Ehren had come over.
“Yup. Pretty neat.”
It was doubtful if humanity would ever be able to construct such things in their lifetime or in future lifetimes. Statues, things like that, they weren’t the trend anymore. At least not that he’d heard of.
“I’ve kind of always wanted to go other places, see those things.” It was a pipe dream now.
A sort of sadness came to Ehren’s eyes as he mentioned travel. That was something he’d never gotten to do, he’d never even been outside of Washington, much less to somewhere like that. “Yeah, me too. But, you know, now I’m here and I won’t ever have that chance again.” He could be positive but after so many years, it really was just a pipe dream.
He grabbed another beer off the table raising a brow as if questioning ‘may I’ and popped the cap off with the bottle opening. Two to three beers were hardly going to even give him a buzz so what was the harm? After taking another sip he leaned back into the couch again. “You know I’ve never been outside of Washington, I mean unless my birth mom took me somewhere else but I kinda doubt that.” Since she was a heroin addict.
A nod would come as the gesture of getting another beer was brought up. Logan leaned forward and snagged one for himself, popping the top from the bottle before he reclaimed his warm spot on the couch again. “Well, I guess that’s what we have books for.” That was the only traveling they would probably ever do, why not daydream together?
“Before I came here, I didn’t go anywhere either. Chicago, that’s it. And now Washington.”
Logan sipped from his drink. “Where do you want to travel to the most?”
As he thought about it he brought his arm up so that he could rest his head against it, facing Logan. “Croatia.” He decided, taking another long sip of his beer. It was nice to just sit here and talk to Logan like this, like they hadn’t just fought the other morning. He hoped they could have many more interactions like this.
“They have this thing there called the Sea Organ. They installed pipes into the pavement and when the sea’s tide moves in it makes this beautiful music. It’s kind of magical.” Yet another place he’d never be able to see, though books did do a good job of painting the picture of it.
“You?” He asked, tilting the beer back into his mouth to drink more of it.
“Really?”
That was utterly fascinating. How he had never heard of that was beyond him, but he wondered what it would be like to hear it with his wolf ears. It was probably lovely regardless. “You’re so smart,” he laughed, making a face before he took a sip from the beer. Not like that wasn’t already obvious.
“Probably dumb, but I’ve always wanted to go to Alaska. Whale watching, ice fishing. I love being outside doing stuff.” Says the man who coops himself up in his apartment all the time.
He shook his head at the remark about Alaska being dumb. “That’s not dumb at all. Alaska looks like it would be beautiful.” He replied, purposely ignoring the comment about being smart. Ehren could have been a lot smarter if he’d actually gone to college but with both parents dead, it was too hard financially.
“In northern Alaska there’s a place where they have almost full days of darkness and full days of lightness. I think if I lived there I’d have to seriously get used to it.” He added, taking another sip of his beer. He wish he’d brought more over now that only two were left in the case but it was never his intention to spend a lot of time here, though he was glad he was.
Those pillars of ice, the animals. Logan had daydreamed a lot of being out there where it was only him, the ice, and the silence. His wolf form was equipped to handle the cooler temperatures. It got cold here, there was no doubt about that, and also in Chicago. But Alaska seemed like a dream. “If we get out of here, I want to take you to Alaska. And Croatia.” He had no idea how that would even happen but it was something to shoot for, right? Could mutants get passports?
A sip would be taken of his beer and he studied the other man. He hadn’t noticed the color of Ehren’s eyes before. They shimmered with delight and he really looked at them.
A syrupy feeling spread through his veins at the idea, both for visiting those places and visiting those places with him. He bit down lightly on his lip as he thought about it, ignoring his beer for a moment. “I’d really like that.” He said back with a smile.
And then came the look, a deep stare into his eyes and he felt himself more bare than when Logan had seen him without a shirt on. Like he was staring straight into Ehren’s soul. “But we won’t, get out of here I mean.” He said with a little bit of sadness.
He would too. To travel, and also to travel with someone he could connect with. Logan nodded. “Me too.”
His gaze would avert. He didn’t want to linger or make Ehren feel as if he were being lecherous, though the other man wasn’t bad to look at. “You don’t know that. We could.”
He brought his arm previously propping up his head down to fiddle with the label on the beer bottle, averting his gaze down to it. He didn’t feel leered at, which was something new, he only felt warm. “Yeah well, I’m smart remember.” His eyes flicked up at the other man with a grin.
He readjusted himself on the couch as he sighed. “I’ve been here a long time, and with how things go here, it doesn’t seem like anyone wants us going anywhere.” Not only that but being a member of the faction, he knew more about how the government operated than he cared to know.
A chuckled coupled with a nod. “You are.” But that didn’t mean the other man saw everything. Every avenue. There had to be hope or what were you left with? Glancing back over at Ehren, Logan would shrug.
“We don’t know what the future holds. Until then, we make the best of what we have.” He didn’t care about the Government. Why should he? He could take a lot of them before they put him down for good.
An unexplainable laugh came out of his mouth and he covered his face as he tried to control the irony in that statement. “No, yeah, you’re right. Um.” Another chuckle before he was able to control himself again. “I’m sure someone out there can do it with all these mutations.” And that someone was Ehren, although one look at his lack of ID card would say otherwise.
According to the government, Ehren was just a standard non-mutated human, but really, his visions littered pages upon pages in his apartment. “Maybe someday I’ll tell you a story about the future, but now’s not the time.” He added.
Logan’s eyebrows would arch at that laugh. Curious. “Maybe. I don’t know if I’d want to know.” The future seemed like cheating. Knowing what would happen all the time. It was too much power for him to fathom.
“Can I ask you something?”
Maybe it was too loaded a question. “Why do you live out here with us if you aren’t one of us?” Ehren dwelled a few doors down and yet he bore no card. Why did a regular human live with them? Why was he here?
“You don’t have to answer.” His gaze would drop.
That was a loaded question and not one he could really discuss at length inside the apartment, at least not with any truth behind it. But he didn’t want to lie, he was so tired of lying.
He searched for the right words, a way to be truthful without revealing too much. “I’ve lived in Washington my whole life, actually pretty near to the nuclear reactor. When radiation poisoning started going around we were told to go get tested.”
He took another large gulp of his drink before he put it down again. “I didn’t get sick and I guess they thought maybe in time I’d develop something so they brought me here.” He replied, since in its core that was the truth.
What was he wasn’t telling Logan could be told to him in a safer setting where there were no eyes and ears.
“Can I ask you something?” He repeated in kind. “What is it like? When you turn into a wolf.”
The answer came and he did his best to buy into it. It made sense that they would want to quarantine those affected by the reactor. He wouldn’t press. It hadn’t been fair to ask, regardless. A long drink from his beer would be taken.
“You’d think they’d let you go after a while.” But what did he know about powers? His came nearly instantly.
A nod would come. The question wasn’t one he expected but he would answer honestly. “It’s painful. Excruciating. Unlike anything I’ve ever felt. It never gets easier.” But he loved it. And it was part of him.
“The way your bones break and reform, your muscles detach from them and reform.” It was an entire transformation.
Ehren’s eyes softened as he listened to Logan recount the terrible process. His hand came out almost instinctively to touch Logan’s but he pulled it back. While he didn’t seem to mind giving Ehren small touches, he hadn’t seemed to react well when Ehren had touched him the other morning.
“I’m sorry,” he resigned “That’s awful.” He must have gone through it during the night when he was over. Ehren hadn’t even roused, he must have been so tired. “I can’t believe I didn’t notice that, I must have been tired.” He said, bringing his hand to the back of his neck.
The only reason why he tensed, would’ve pulled back from the table was because emotions had been running high for him. But he couldn’t read minds. Logan took the snap backward of the limb as the aversion to physical touch in response to his honesty.
“Don’t worry about it,” he murmured. “Comes with it.”
Shaking his head, Logan sighed. He lifted his head and looked at Ehren. “You don’t have to notice it. It happens and it’s done.”
Ehren wanted to touch him, more than anything and while his previous attempt before hadn’t yielded well, he decided to take a chance. His hand came out again and softly laid on his. “Still, it’s not really fair to you that you have to deal with that. You didn’t ask for this.”
And maybe he was pushing too far, he didn’t want things to end up like they did the other morning. “I guess what I meant to say is that you’re pretty amazing, to deal with that kind of pain.”
Was Ehren coming on to him?
He felt a hint of that though he could’ve been wrong. That hand upon his was strange. He wanted to recoil from instinct - out of fear - but he made himself sit there and bear it. “Nobody did.” He wasn’t any more special than anyone else. No one had asked for this.
“I’m not amazing. I’m the same as anyone.” They all suffered in some way.
His intent was not to come on to Logan, he couldn’t see the other man ready for something like that so he let his hand slip off the other mans. “I think everyone here is amazing, in some way or another.” He replied, not wanting to hit the nerve that Logan got whenever someone paid him a compliment.
“Anyway, If you come up with a plan to get us out of here, I’ll tell you the full story of Ehren Clemens.” He replied with a soft smile, grabbing at his beer again to take another sip.
“We can see the sea organ or Easter island or the arctic circle.” He added.
Letting Ehren move his hand, Logan took a breath. And then a sip from the bottle of beer. For a moment there he could’ve sworn that this was taking an odd, albeit curious turn, but maybe he had been wrong. It seemed to even back out regardless.
“I’ll let you know if I get lucky.” He doubted it. He doubted any of them would go anywhere, the same way Ehren said, but if you didn’t have hope then you had nothing at all.
“I’d like that.”
Ehren took another sip of his beer before putting it down on the coffee table and sat back down on the couch. “You seem like the kind of person who likes documentaries.” He said, wishing he was still touching Logan’s hand. They were rough like his from manual labor.
“That’s where I learn a lot of these useless facts, that and books. Although I haven’t seen a good documentary on this island in a while.” Maybe because documentaries encouraged free thought and the government didn’t want that here, not if it meant people might revolt.
Nodding, he confirmed what Ehren suspected. “I do.” You learned a lot from a good documentary - he watched many and of all different kinds - “I was sort of into those conspiracy theory documentaries, you know? Aliens, and the second coming of Christ. Stuff like that.”
He didn’t know there were any documentaries on the island but now that it was a thing he didn’t know why he hadn’t thought about it before. But he had little interest in the island then.
“Is there one out there where they predict the second coming of Christ is the aliens?” He teased, although he’d been known to watch a few of those documentaries from time to time.
“I always like those historical ones, the ones about the civil war or Ancient Greece. You know, PBS style that always try to make history seem sexy.” And history didn’t need to seem sexy because it already was in Ehren’s mind.
A soft laugh would erupt from him. The smile he showed was more than usual, the amusement and delight touching his eyes. “That would be a good one. You should go into documentary making.”
Nodding, Logan sighed softly with relaxation. “Yeah, those are good. I used to watch a lot of that old Antiques Roadshow show, too. You know, the one where people have all of the old junk and they try to see if it’s worth anything?”
He went through that at his Pop’s pawn shop, watching his dad haggle and deal with people who were trying to bring stuff to sell or wanting to purchase goods from them.
When a smile erupted on Logan’s face Ehren was floored. He had a gorgeous smile and the way his entire face lit up was something he’d never seen from the other man before. He’d store that away in his memory bank to think about later. It took him a moment to respond was so taken aback.
“Yes! My favorite thing about that show was the reaction people would get when they found out how valuable their things were. I read once that it’s easier to get into Stanford than it was on Antique Roadshow.” Which was kind of ridiculous if you asked him. But he supposed people just liked being on television.
His expression softened a bit at the look of surprise on Ehren’s face. Eyebrows would arch and the grin receded some.
“I think people just want their fifteen minutes of fame for the junk in their attic.” A shrug would come. He never had anything worth anything, at least he didn’t think any of the junk he’d left behind was of any value except for the sentimental kind.
He allowed himself to smile at that, resuming putting his arm up on the couch to rest his head. “God forbid someone achieves fame by actually doing something…” he accidentally pressed on the cut still visible on his cheek bone and hissed. “...artistic.” He finished and took his arm down so as not to irritate it again.
He leaned down to grab his beer again and gingerly took another sip. “I mean some of the greatest authors only achieved fame long after they were dead.” He added.
Logan frowned at the hissing noise.
Moving from the couch he crossed the room into the kitchen, fumbled around a little bit, and then brought back a small basket that was sparsely dotted with various medical supplies.
Taking the seat again, he browsed for what he was looking for, set the basket aside and uncapped a bottle of polysporin. “Turn your head,” he instructed softly.
Waiting for Ehren to comply, his eyes found the scrape across the cheek and he studied it.
Doing as he was told, Ehren put his beer down, sat up straight and turned his head so that Logan could look at it. He didn’t want to bandage it all the time because it would look ridiculous walking around with a big bandage on his face but it hadn’t healed well because of it.
“It happened after the storm. I had a...panic attack and passed out on my floor.” Wolf Logan must have smelled the blood still soaked into his floors when he’d come over the other night.
“You told me,” he explained, dabbing a bit of the healing medicine onto a fingertip. Lifting his free hand once the bottle has been set aside, fingers would come to rest tenderly upon the opposite side of Ehren’s chin to keep the man in place.
And then gently Logan would spread the medicine across the cut, being mindful of the soreness.
“You have to take care of it or it’s going to scar. You don’t even have a good story to tell,” he teased, dabbing gently at the wound.
He chuckled loudly at that, hissing a little as it stretched the skin on his cheek. “Ok so what really happened is I fought a bear and then I saved a burning bus full of school children and then I skydived into a tree.” He joked back, since it was true, it was a very unglamorous story.
The closeness was causing Ehren’s heartbeat to flutter a little and he tried his best to just breathe deeply. Logan was a new friend, he wasn’t some man or woman he’d asked on a date. Things might get awkward if he sprouted a hard on.
“You could tell people it was a wolf,” he teased.
Intensity flowed through his expression as he finished up with the tending to. Once he felt it was done, Logan pulled backward and wiped his hand on a small napkin in the basket. A nod would come. “There. Better. Take care of it.”
Basket was set aside and Logan’s gaze went to Ehren. “Shame to scar a pretty face like yours.”
Eyes would flick over at Logan when he called Ehren’s face pretty and a pinkness would come to his cheeks. “Uh, yeah..” he was at a loss for words but a smile was plastered on his face. What should he say to to that? Logan was insanely attractive and while he did have a new found confidence, Logan was a different thing.
“Well,” he began, just hoping the words would come out on their own. “You would know about having a pretty face.” That sounded dumb, but in the end he didn’t really think Logan would mind.
He rose, collecting the basket and taking it back to the kitchen from where it had come. Into the place it always was Logan set it and then he came back to the couch, settling down again.
Eyebrows would arch at the choice of words. “Pretty?” A snort of amusement would come and Logan shook his head. “Definitely not the word I would pick.”
—
“Rustic then. Handsome, rugged, tall, mysterious.” He replied, watching Logan return his items to his kitchen. Ehren had a full catalogs of words he could use to describe Logan, but those few would have to do for now.
“And you have that cute beauty mark.” He added, a little shocked at himself for how bold that was.
Rolling his eyes in a playful way, Logan sighed. He couldn’t help the amusement. A simple shake of his head as if to say you’re crazy but no verbal reply would come.
Blinking, Logan tilted his head, “What? Where?”
Ehren chuckled at the flat out lie from Logan. He pointed to the spot above his upper lip. “Right there.” He said, lightly touching his finger to the spot before a moment. “Don’t pretend like you don’t know it’s there.”
Someone else might have called it a mole but men and women in 1700’s England and France adorned their faces with fake ones all the time.
Logan offered a playfully skeptical look, “I think you’re seeing things.” Of course he knew it was there, it always had been. He had worn facial hair for so long he did forget once in a while that he had scrapes or things beneath the whiskers.
Of course he didn’t move to pull back from Ehren’s touch, either.
A chuckle came from Ehren at the complete denial Logan was putting on. “I see what you’re doing, trying to hide it underneath this.” He said, reaching a hand out to lightly touch his fingers to Logan’s beard. He was partial to beards, it’s why he kept one, that it made it look appropriate to his age. Shaving always made him look ten years younger which was not something he wanted.
“Don’t deny it like people deny the aliens.” Ehren teased.
“I think that you’re the one making a big deal out of nothing,” he joked, shrugging his shoulders. This felt similar to the petting done when he’d been in his other form. The wolf responded better to the fingers against fur than he did but he wasn’t pushing Ehren away either. Whatever that meant.
Finally he did lift a hand, catching the back of Ehren’s in a warm palm. “I would never deny aliens. They absolutely exist.”
A small laugh bubbled up as Logan made it a point to say aliens existed with an intent look. The hand on top of his was warm and he couldn’t help but look down at Logan’s lips. In truth right at that moment he wanted to kiss him but he wouldn’t. They were finally really getting to know each other and he didn’t want to ruin that, or scare Logan off.
“Yeah, they do. We were all aliens at one point.” He said, not really thinking too hard on the words since all he could focus on was Logan’s hand on his. “I mean, when we came to America. Not a lot of us here are actually native.” He joked and bit down on his lip a little.
As Ehren’s laugh rang in his ears, the end of Logan’s nose would crinkle in amusement. For once it was sort of nice not to have all of his guards up, those shields he bore to protect himself from everyone else. He felt at ease, more like himself than he had in years.
“Not that type of alien,” he laughed softly, but Ehren wasn’t wrong. They all technically were from other places.
Seeing the color flushing into the cheeks of the other man Logan finally let go of the hand upon his face.
When Logan’s hand was removed, Ehren dropped his as well, picking again at the label on the beer bottle. “I’m sure there’s plenty of theories out there that would say human life began because of an asteroid or something.” If he recalled, that book by Terence McKenna he’d read a month or so ago said the same about mushrooms.
He bit down on his lip again, finishing off his beer in a few short sips and placed it down next to his other empty. He signaled the case, not really wanting to take one of his last beers but feeling like he didn’t want to leave. He could spend all day here with Logan if that’s what Logan wanted.
“Probably. A lot of crazy ones. And oddly, some that sort of make sense.” That was the weird part, when outlandish theories started to actually seem logical. But then someone would believe anything at some point.
“It’s all yours,” he assured Ehren, glancing over at the remaining beer. Returning his gaze to the other, Logan made a gesture of insistence. He could go to Josie’s later if he was feeling up to getting out of the apartment.
He grabbed the beer, leaving only one in the case for Logan to have and popped off the top, giving the bottle a sip before he spoke again. “Anything can make sense of put together information that supports it.” He said, which was true.
“I’ve seen documentaries that try to convince you that something that is definitely not true is, and it’s pretty compelling sometimes, how you can almost believe it.” He was sure there were some compelling flat earth documentaries out there. It definitely wasn’t true but people did spend a lot of time trying to make it seem like it was.
He knew that some people just had a lot of time on their hands, too. Your mind started to wander down endless chasms when you had too little to do and too much time to do it in. That was a problem Logan knew all too well.
“Me too.”
The last beer was claimed. He opened the bottle, set the top aside and took a deep drink from it.
He liked this version of Logan, easy going and fun. It was like he’d changed the last couple interactions they’d had. Slowly he was starting to become someone who wasn’t a quiet hermit. “Do you ever wish you did something different with your life?” He asked Logan, taking advantage of his new, more open state.
“I wanted to be a writer. I took a year off after high school and I was going to go to school for creative writing.” The memory sparks a dark memory in his mind, something that would have hurt him a lot more before.
“But then my dad died and I didn’t really have the time to get a four year degree. So I went I trade school and became a mechanic.” Which was neither sexy nor academic but it was honest work and he was able to support himself on it.
That was something he’d thought about many times in his life’s journey - if he could do something different, if he had opportunities would he change anything - and he always came to the same conclusion. Shaking his head at Ehren, Logan breathed a small, “Nope.” Sure his life hadn’t been easy but up until that one night he had been happy.
“I could see you as a writer.” With all of those manuscripts in Ehren’s place, the guy was about a shoe-in for the role.
“Mechanics aren’t bad skills to have. You’ll never have to worry about something breaking.”
The manuscripts, he was sure Logan was referring to those. Those weren’t even things that came out of his own imagination but he appreciated the compliment anyway. “Yeah no it is a good skill. I mean it’s not like I’m going to get published on this island anyway.” And he wouldn’t dare try to publish his visions since the government controlled everything that came in and out of the island.
“I wonder why we’ve never had any news reporters here. Aren’t people in the world curious about what’s going on?” He wondered aloud as he felt a little more relaxed from the beers and the company.
“I think the Government gives the media what they want them to see and hear,” Logan replied. He didn’t know for sure, nor did he possess any information that could lead to a valid conclusion but that was what made the most sense. “I’m sure they have a guy telling the media whatever he has to to satisfy their questions.”
Would anyone from the outside even want to come here? He doubted it. When he had heard about this island a couple of years ago it was with a burden of taboo. Now he knew why.
“I try not to think about it.”
He leaned his head against the back of the couch as he looked over at Logan. There was something lurking underneath there that Ehren had yet to discover. But he understood that information like that might take a long time so he’d wait until he could tell that Logan was ready to talk about it.
“Well we have the coolest people here if you ask me.” He replied, trying not to dwell on the fact that they were living in a crappy situation. He really did love his friends here more than any he’d had in his lifetime.
Tilting to the side a bit he watched Ehren observing him. While it didn’t make him uncomfortable he was a bit confused by the interest. He was aware of what he looked like on the outside, his attempt at warding people off by being quiet and soft spoken seemed only to gain the interest - the opposite of what he had hoped for.
“Sure.” Some people were cool, he supposed. Some weren’t.
“You’re pretty cool.” He replied, sipping at the last beer. He didn’t really want it to end because that meant that his time with Logan was up and he was really enjoying this. Still, he couldn’t stay in Logan’s apartment forever, no matter how much he wanted to.
“I like to think I am too.” Except that he was a total dork but that was subjective.
“Thanks,” Logan managed. He supposed it was alright to seem cool to others. That was probably relative, though. Ehren was the one person he felt he had really taken the time to try to get to know since he’d come here.
More of the beer in his bottle was consumed, taking the liquid past the halfway point.
A smile would come and he nodded, “You are cool. Even if you are sort of a huge dork. It’s endearing.”
Ehren chuckled at that, giving Logan’s shoulder a playful punch. “Hey! I will have you know plenty of really cool people like the stuff I do.” And also plenty of dorky ones. It was sweet of Logan to call him endearing and made the butterflies in his belly jump.
“Well anyway, I’m glad my dorkiness amuses you. At least someone else can get something out of it.” He tipped his beer back and made it halfway through the bottle. Not much longer now.
At the punch, Logan leaned backward but only slightly, allowing Ehren’s fist to collide with his shoulder. Playful was the grin that split his face, “Uh huh. Sure. I’ll believe it when I see it.” He didn’t mind the back and forth as long as both understood that the pokes and jabs were intended to be playful and kind.
“It’s what makes you who you are. How can I argue with that?”
Finishing his beer he set the bottle aside. A moment would be taken to gather up the empty bottles and take them to the kitchen. He rinsed them out and then threw them away, along with the carton. He figured that Ehren knew how to throw out his own bottle when he was finished with it.
As he walked away to throw away the empty bottles a thought came to Ehren’s head. “Do you still think I’ve changed?” He asked Logan, the accusation still fresh in his mind. He spent a lot of time thinking about it, since it was something he feared might happen after Caspian was done with him but he didn’t feel different.
“I mean, like my whole personality. Not just my nerves.” He elaborated since he didn’t want Logan thinking he was trying to prod him in any way.
“Yep,” he replied from the kitchen. “Not in a bad way,” he explained again. “It’s just different.” Turning, he shuffled back into the living room and sat down again on the couch. “You’re brighter, more confident — it’s sort of hard to explain without it sounding like an insult.” That wasn’t something he wanted to convey.
“It’s you, but it’s not the you I thought I knew, if that makes sense? I feel like it’s easier to talk to you.”
Gaze would meet Ehren’s as he waited to see what the reaction would be.
A real smile came his face, he couldn’t remember the last time he’d smiled so much. “I don’t take offense.” He replied and took another gulp of beer which brought the beer down to a quarter full. Time was ticking and he couldn’t nurse it too long or it might seem like he wanted an excuse to stay, which he did.
“I’m not the only one whose changed. When I took you home from the bar a couple of weeks ago you looked like you wanted to hit me.” He remarked, running his fingers through the too long curls on his head. He’d need to get it cut soon. “Now you’re mending me.”
“We take care of the things that are important,” Logan offered, shrugging a shoulder. The comment was offered in a general context but deep down people tended to want to help each other. “I didn’t want to hit you. Or anybody.” Shaking his head, he put that idea to rest.
He did the best he could to not seem violent or threatening - Logan was alright with the guards perceiving him that way because they would treat him like an enemy. But the residents were different. Now and then Logan even bought Paul a drink.
Realizing he probably had just assumed it since his first impression was that of someone too drunk and too angry to walk straight, he tried to lighten the mood. “Hmm. Was is the pretty face?” He teased, gesturing to his visage.
“Or maybe I was right in assuming that you’re just a good person.” He said, hoping now this wouldn’t come off like it had the other morning.
Shaking his head at Ehren, he sighed. “No, but that’s a good reason not to.” That drunk, trying to fight would have gone wrong for both people. He would’ve been in terrible shape and sleeping the night in a cell.
“It’ll be a mystery that may never be solved.”
He peered at Logan for a moment and then smirked. “Well if it’s a mystery than I’m just going to assume you are. If you want to change my mind, it’s going to take a lot.” It was a tease of course, Ehren was really beginning to genuinely like Logan.
The next sip of his beer would be his last and he wished he’d bought a twelve pack or even a thirty pack. Still, all things must end, so they can start again. “How are you at pool?” He persisted, not willing to stop their conversing.
A shrug of the shoulders was all Ehren was going to get. He wasn’t the type to just pour himself out there, those things would take time and trust. Lots of both. He doubted he would be owning up to anything or trying to change anybody’s mind on anything any time soon.
When the subject change came eyebrows would arch. “Pool? I sort of grew up in a bar. Is that a challenge?” He couldn’t help the grin that spread across his face. Was this the type of game that came with a wager or was this just for fun? Either way he was good.
He smirked back at Logan. “Oh you didn’t know? I’m a grade A pool shark. My league was at the top back home.” Which was only mildly true. They’d placed first a handful of times but others also did. Ehren did get pretty good but he wasn’t any sort of savant.
Taking the last sip of his beer, the idea sprung. “Josie’s has a couple of pool tables.” He then lifted his empty bottle up. “And beer.”
“Oh, so this is a challenge.” He surmised, nodding. Logan grew serious, in an obviously playful way, nodding. “So, if you beat me, what do you get? That’s how a challenge works, right? What do I get if I beat you?” He was probably better than he let on, but for now he was curious to see just how good Ehren was.
He was going to need to put on different clothes but that could wait until they’d determined the avenues of the agreement.
“I say we choose our own wagers. If you beat me, I will buy you all of your beers for the rest of the night.” He decided that was an innocent enough wager and one he could easily comply with.
“Now, what will you do if I win?” He asked, one brow raised to make him look somewhat like a young Sean Connery though maybe he looked more like Groucho Marx.
“If you beat me, I’ll give you a present you’ll never see coming.” He had a few ideas already just based on their conversations of things that Ehren liked. “But you won’t beat me.” The words were haughty and designed to stir up a bit of emotion, in spite of the grin he couldn’t help.
“Deal?” A hand would extend out to shake. They had to make everything official right? And what better way than with a shake?
Ehren raised his brow again. “Wait before I shake. Is this the kind of present I don’t see coming because it’s going to hit me in the face? Like a pie?” Of course he didn’t expect Logan to do anything like that but the idea was hilarious.
“Cause if that’s the case then…” he took the aforementioned hand in a sturdy shake. “...deal!”
“Only time will tell,” he offered, waiting to see what the verdict would be. And when they shook he emitted a laugh. “Alright. Deal. Give me a second to put on some actual clothes and then we can go to Josie’s.”
Pulling back, Logan stood and moved toward the bedroom. A glance over his shoulder at Ehren and then the door would close, and fumbling would ensue.
Ehren sat quietly in the living room, deliberating about whatever it was that popped into his head. The glance only fueled the onslaught of thoughts about the other man. He didn’t mind all that much being doted on, if he won, but what kind of gift could he get to surprise him. Another book? He doubted that was the case.
It gave him some opportunity to look around a little more. He stood from the couch and began to wander, taking in any small detail he could, since there weren’t a lot of big ones to be seen.
Shorts would be swapped for jeans, his tee shirt stayed, socks and then shoes would be pulled on. Logan pulled back his hair and secured it so as not to let it get in the way. When he was ready, after a brief look in the mirror (why?) he left the room. “Ready?”
There was no fear of Ehren looking around, the walls were barren, coffee table held only rings from their drinks, the couch sagged. There was nothing to say anyone actually lived there.
When Logan came back into the room he turned and smiled. “To best you in pool? Yeah I’d say so.” He joked, casually leaning toward the door knob to open the front door and step through. “Or did you mean am I ready to drink you under the table? Because the answer is yes to both.”
Jokes like this came easier to Ehren now, like something in him that held him back sort of disappeared. Caspian was right when he said that he’d start to notice the differences.
Logan laughed softly, looking down at the floor. Moving toward Ehren he glanced up, “In your dreams.” Keys and phone would make it into a pocket - he remembered where he put the dang thing - and then he stepped outside. The day was still bright but he wasn’t deterred. Brighter things lay ahead.
Once Ehren was out and the door was closed, Logan turned to lock it and the keys went into a pocket.
“Losers first,” he teased, waving at the pathway for Ehren to go ahead.