Ehren was surprised that it hadn’t taken much convincing to allow him a conjugal visit with Logan. He wasn’t trying to sleep with the other man, just wanted to be in a position where they could touch each other. The room they brought him into wasn’t exactly sexy, still in a crap hole with a queen sized bed and nothing else. At least Iike this they’d be able to be alone without some homophobic guard watching them.
He waited in the room while they fetched Logan. His face had healed, there was only a little redness left around his cheek, and his eye was more or less back to normal. After what felt like forever Logan was brought into the room and the door closed behind him.
He walked up to Logan immediately and wrapped his arms around the other man in a big hug. “I got this room so that we could touch. I’m not trying to pressure you into anything.” He said quietly as he held Logan in his arms. It felt so good.
He was a bit surprised when the guard approached and unlocked the door to his cell. By now he’d learned that just because the echo of footfalls could be heard didn’t mean there had been any developments in his case. He’d stopped lifting his head at the sounds of steps, stopped waiting to see with baited breath if his door would slide open and he would be set free.
The request for the visit was odd but he complied, eager to see what lay ahead for however long the event would last. Finally they made it to the small room. The shackles were removed and he was literally shoved through the door and into the room.
As soon as the door clicked behind himself he found the familiar weight of Ehren pressing against his frame and instantly his arms would lift and wind around the other man. Eyes would close. He breathed softly out with relief as he held Ehren, grip tightening but not uncomfortably, nearly clinging to him with desperation.
There would never be an obligation. Physical contact in its purest form often felt better than coupling. This circumstance was no different.
“Thank you.” He missed the other man more than he knew he probably should.
Leaning back a bit to look at his face, he framed Logan’s face with his hands. Ehren missed Logan terribly and he was tired of denying the fact that he’d actually developed real feelings for the other man. “How are you doing?” He asked, although he knew the answer was probably terrible. He didn’t look much better than he had the last time Ehren saw him, and he cursed every guard that laid his hands on the other man.
“I’m going to get you out of here.” He promised, letting his thumb rub at the hair on his face. Even still with all the marks and scars, Logan was handsome. “I’ve been gathering evidence, trying to get you a couple of character witnesses. We won’t know anything until the autopsy is done.” He offered since it was something Logan should know.
That question was expected but he struggled to find an answer he wanted to give, settling for, “I’m better now.” How did you tell someone what being incarcerated in this place was like? Even on a temporary (he hoped) basis it was literal hell. If someone outside the cell doors thought life on the island was bad, he would challenge them to get locked up for a while and experience that. Being free, even with restrictions, was ideal to this.
Fingers would curl into the fabric of Ehren’s shirt gently, but his arms didn’t move. He couldn’t move yet, not while this was still so fresh. It would be something he’d remember on the worst of the nights ahead.
Logan leaned into Ehren’s hands, his fingers. Eyes would find the gaze of the other man and hold it. “I believe you.”
He wouldn’t put hope out there but he appreciated the diligence and willingness that Ehren was giving. Nobody else had come forward to try to help, nobody came to visit or call, nobody but the man he was currently holding in his arms.
Ehren didn’t really expect to feel this way with Logan here, like he was safe from everything but the mere presence of the other man made him feel this way. He leaned his forehead against Logan’s and sighed. “I miss you.” The words seemed to come out of him on his own but it didn’t make it any less true.
“I can’t stop thinking about what it must be like for you. Are they feeding you? Do you have a place to sleep?” Ehren hadn’t been sleeping much but that wasn’t because he didn’t have a comfortable bed. At least there was one here that looked relatively comfortable in case they felt like laying down.
As their foreheads touched, Logan leaned forward and brushed the ends of their noses together tenderly. Those three words warmed him. He felt better for it, oddly satisfied. He had not expected Ehren nor the way that feelings were beginning to develop in places he thought decayed and withered from time. “I miss you too,” he confessed softly. It was the truth. Growing used to someone’s smile, the way their eyes lit up, and then having that ripped away was devastating.
“Don’t worry about me. I only want to think about this right now.” He didn’t want Ehren burdened with any more than he was already carrying.
And maybe he wanted to remember what was waiting for him, too, if he ever made it out of this place. He missed his apartment, his own bed. Daisy.
Hearing Logan respond in kind released a breath he didn’t know he’d been holding. The feeling rushed through his body like a tidal wave and he couldn’t stop himself from closing the gap between their lips. It felt good just to let go and let it happen. They hadn’t gotten to do much yet, Logan was taken the night after their first kiss but his lips were so inviting that Ehren felt a sort of addiction to them.
He didn’t want to think about if Logan was charged, didn’t want to think that there could be so little justice in this place but it lingered in the back of his mind. What if this was it? What if the next time he saw him was the last? It hurt too much to think about.
When he finally pulled back from the kiss he tried to hold back the tears that were forming in his eyes. “Daisy is with some friends, I was with her when I heard what happened.”
The connection of their lips was akin to being struck by lightning in a way - he felt amplified by the energy. All of the nerves in his brain began to fire rapidly but in spite of that he managed to keep the kiss gentle, tender, albeit with a bit of hunger that seeped through. His eyes closed and he allowed himself to get lost in that kiss, drown in the unyielding tide of momentum.
Hand would lift, cupping the line of Ehren’s jaw in an effort to keep himself grounded in reality.
A soft sound escaped without him realizing it - something private, primal, and only for the man in his embrace. And then the collision of their mouths ceased and his eyes fluttered open as he pulled back slowly.
The pad of his thumb caressed that sharp jawline with gentleness and support. He didn’t like seeing anyone cry or get emotional, especially when there was nothing he could do to prevent it. “I’m glad she’s safe.”
As his eyes closed again to blink tears spilled from them and he felt a little embarrassed. They’d only really gotten to know each other over the last month and it seemed silly to get sad over it but he couldn’t help it. It felt like his whole world was crashing down with Logan in it. “I want you to be safe.” He said like a petulant child throwing a fevered tantrum.
The kiss was electric, sure but he’d had kissed like that before. There was something more in the gentle way Logan held him and the soft noises he made. Almost as if he needed this as much as Ehren did. No one ever kissed him like that, like he was made of glass. It was actually really comforting.
Blue eyes would find the other blue pair, his tears blinked away and he bit his own lip lightly. He could stare into those eyes forever if Logan wanted it and the thought alone frightened him.
Concern was the expression offered upon seeing those beautifully hues eyes shimmer with moisture. “In these arms how could I not be?” The question was posed in a murmur but was coupled with a small, playful smile. Just then he didn’t have another care in the world, he was too ensnared in the moment to give two cents about anything or anyone else.
He wouldn’t let anyone bring harm undue that could be prevented. In all of the years he’d been alive nobody came looking for a fight that they didn’t expect to lose. He held himself to that same standard of reputation even while behind bars.
He didn’t know what miracle maker to thank for letting them have a few moments together uninterrupted but he was thanking the stars already.
He let go of Logan briefly to grab his hand and lead him over to the surprisingly clean queen bed that was there. He sat down on the bed and waited for Logan to do the same. “Whatever happens to you, I want you to know that I’ll be here for you, every step of the way.” His hand came up to brush a stray hair out of Logan’s face. The idea in his mind that he might never see the other man again bore down on him even when he tried not to think about it.
“You’re completely worth it.” He added, slinking his arm around Logan’s waist and leaning his head on his shoulder. Logan seemed to have this deep lack of self worth and Ehren wasn’t about to let that go unprotested.
Letting Ehren go was a challenge - he wanted to just cling for as long as he could, knowing that they would have to part eventually regardless. Hand was taken and he followed the other man over to the little mattress set out for visits similar to these for those with ulterior intentions in mind. The mattress edge sagged a bit but he paid it no mind, focused only on Ehren.
“I know. I’m glad you are fighting for me out there.” He couldn’t do much from inside the cell.
Arms would wind again around Ehren. He laid his head down against Ehren’s too, holding on again.
Ehren could feel the warmth build up his body, the heat radiating off of Logan’s skin. This was all still so new to him, the tender touches, the sweet words. It took him a while to break through that giant shell Logan kept himself in, and he couldn’t ever get over how good it felt to be around him. The silence was stretched over them, afraid that if they talked it might be over too soon.
He nuzzled his head into Logan’s neck before he lifted his head up to meet the other mans eyes. A hand came up to stroke his cheek before he leaned into those lips again.
Getting back into a groove of pleasing someone, even with small touch, wasn’t as much of a challenge as he figured it might be. He found it exciting to have someone close again, someone he could trust with those deep things, a person who seemed to like him for all of who he was, even the damaged parts.
Lifting his head, he looked into Ehren’s eyes and leaned into the kisses again. This time he moved slower, drew those touches out. Eyes would close and at one point he pulled Ehren’s lip into his mouth, allowing the end of his tongue to brush against the plump swell of skin before letting it go.
Hands would find purchase at the other man’s sides, hips, exploring quietly but diligently.
Lifting himself up to position himself into Logan’s lap, he sought a better angle to better explore the other man with. His fingers slid down the expanse of his shoulders and back, feeling the way the muscles felt beneath. He’d seen Logan’s body before but it was so much different to feel it under his hands.
If this was a challenge for Logan then Ehren would have never known. Everything about what he was doing was right and it felt better than he had expected. He let his hands roam down Logan’s arms, slowly exploring the way they felt.
Logan leaned back a bit to accommodate Ehren’s shifting, frame also shifting to bear the added weight. He took a breath and then went right back to what they’d been doing before, falling into it as if they’d never missed a beat.
He leaned into Ehren’s hands, willing to let the other man explore as he pleased. They wouldn’t have much time together, so many minutes had already passed but he felt feverish with this new feeling.
Finally his arms wrapped around Logan’s neck to pull himself as close to the other man as possible. It was the only time he felt taller than the other man since Logan stood a few inches higher than him. He dealt him one exploratory kiss after enough, desperate to hold onto this feeling. He tried to remember the last time he felt this happy. It didn’t take long, it was the last time they saw each other out there, it was meeting Daisy for the first time, it was finally kissing him.
He’d grown quietly addicted to the blonde man’s touch, like a cat to a bowl of milk. His body responded in kind by subtle leans into the touch. There was no denying the fact that this turned him on, not even just that they were kissing but that he had someone in front of him who he could bare his soul to.
A hand would find its way to the small of Ehren’s back and settle in the curve to ensure that the other man couldn’t get away so easily. His heart was fluttering, those soft sounds erupting as they kissed. The depth of their connection only increased and Logan’s eyes close as he savored the taste of Ehren’s lips, the feeling of his clothes, the way his body felt pressed upon his own.
That electric charge worked its way through his blood and he was helpless to it. It felt like a literal ache, the need bubbling up inside his lower half. A growl of a word left him, guttural, “Ehren.”
It was clear what each of them felt, the evidence of it beginning to show. The soft touches to his back only fueled on his lust and he felt Logan withdraw from his lips to speak. His pupils were blown and his mouth slick as he heard him speak his name. Normally at this point Ehren might say fuck it and just keep going but Logan was different. He didn’t want to do anything he was nervous about.
“Yes?” He asked, a quiet permission being asked. He wanted Logan to be totally sure because once it happened Ehren wasn’t sure if he’d be able to stop.
Breathlessly he looked upon the other man, torn as to what he knew he wanted and what he knew Ehren deserved. Moving forward was what he wanted, selfishly, to stake claim to someone else and worship every inch of skin. But he wanted it to be special, not something rushed and done in a place like this.
He debated what to say, what he wanted to get off of his mind without ruining the moment. “Not here. Not like this.” Ehren deserved better than some old mattress in the detention center.
He exhaled as Logan made his intentions clear and nodded his head. “Okay.” He agreed, honestly feeling better about not going forward. This was a discussion on consent and Ehren respected Logan’s boundaries. He ran his fingers through Logan’s hair, settling his hand at the nape of his neck. “I’m happy just to kiss you.” He admitted, eyes searching Logan’s.
“It should be somewhere better, somewhere we can take our time.” A weird part of him felt like he didn’t deserve this, like Logan was just one thing life would give him only to take it away. But what if he did? What if there was actually hope that Logan would be set free and they could actually find some happines? That was a scenario he was willing to fight for.
It wasn’t that he didn’t want to, god damn he wanted to keep going more than anything in the world, but he didn’t want to do anything here. He wanted to lay Ehren down in his own bed, or Logan’s, and throw caution to the wind. “Good,” he breathed out in relief. Leaning forward he caught Ehren’s mouth again.
“I want to take you out first, on a real date,” he confessed, hoping that was alright with Ehren. “I want to do right by you.”
The first smile came to his lips since he stepped into this room. Leave it to Logan to give him his first real smile since this all went down. Never mind that in the back of his mind he wondered if this was even going to be possible. “Really?” He asked, too dumbfounded to say anything else.
His thumb rubbed circles into Logan’s nape as he looked into that face he couldn’t stop thinking about. “The answer to that is definitely yes.” He let a soft chuckle. It seemed like they had gotten past this point with all that had happened but it felt good to look forward to something.
Nodding, he held his breath for a moment. Waiting for an answer was more than he thought he was capable of. What if Ehren said no? What if all the other man wanted was to be physical? He didn’t know if that was what he wanted and the disappointment would’ve been overwhelming.
And then that breath was exhaled and he smiled, eyes bright with happiness and life. “Oh good.” He now had something to hold on to. That, and whatever surprise Ehren still had in store for him.
And there was that smile, brighter than the sun, warmer than fire and he felt the heat rise up his spine. It felt like an instant high, a dose so lethal it could kill him. He leaned in again to grasp Logan’s lips in a kiss when he heard five knocks at the door, the signal that they’d have only five minutes left with each other.
Normally panic might start to set in now but in place it was just a painful sadness. He leaned back and fixed Logan with a frown. “I don’t want to go.” He said desperately.
His eyes closed again with that kiss. He bathed in the feeling of it, helpless. With all of the strength and intimidation he possessed Ehren was able to bring him to his knees with a single look - the kisses were potent and intoxicating.
And then his eyes opened as the kiss broke.
He worked the ring off of his finger and pressed it into Ehren’s palm, closing his fingers around it. “I’m coming back for that. Keep it safe for me.” It was a promise that he would get out and come back to claim what was left of his past with the person who held the door to his future.
Ehren pressed the ring into his hand, looking down at it with wide eyes. “Is this your wedding ring?” He asked, looking up at Logan. This was a big deal, a small token that had endless amounts of sentimental value. Casey was something he had been holding onto since way before they met and the fact that he would just remove it said a lot.
He closed his hand over the object and placed it over his chest. “I’ll keep it safe.” He promised and leaned into head into Logan’s shoulder.
Two knocks now, their time was running out. It wasn’t fair that Logan was being held for something he didn’t do and he prayed for the autopsy to come back soon.
He nodded. It was his wedding ring and he hadn’t taken it off in years. Since before the day they’d tied the knot. “I know you’ll keep it safe.” He trusted Ehren, more than anyone. And the confirmation of its safety brought another smile from him. Logan leaned over and pressed a kiss upon the corner of Ehren’s lips. “Thank you.”
He ignored those knocks. They meant nothing. Anything that meant something was here. Now.
Leaning back a little, he slipped the ring into his pocket to take back to his apartment for safe keeping. The place looked more empty now that they’d taken all his manuscripts. Only shells of a life lived remained in its stead.
He brought a hand up to Logan’s chest and laid it there, letting his fingers dig into the material there. “Of course.” He replied to the gratitude. Out of anyone he knew, Logan deserved anything good that came to him.
“Why don’t you and daisy stay at my place, too?” He hoped some life would be ushered into it while he was gone. He hoped that wasn’t too much to ask.
Hand would find the one of Ehren’s upon his chest and he held the top of the other man’s hand, “You’re the best.”
He nodded his head at Logan’s request, it might be nice to stay around his things while Logan was still incarcerated. “I can do that.” He said with a smile that barely hid the fact that he was sad to leave.
A final knock came on the door before a voice yelled inside. “Times up!” And shortly there after two guards came to put Logan back into his chains. “Don’t let them hurt you anymore.” He said, desperately seeking out one last kiss before they took him away.
Another kiss would be stolen as those knocks came. He pushed Ehren gently out of his lap so the other man would evade the cross fire.
His arms lifted, wrists exposed as the shackles were once more clapped across his wrists. That last, parting kiss had him in good spirits. The guards shoved him around as if to spite Ehren, and then he was led away.
A glance over a shoulder would be given and then he was gone.