InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "IO SONO LA VITA!"

Daphne Hyacinthe Greengrass (shygreengrass) wrote in despairrp,
@ 2008-01-24 00:46:00

Who: Daphne Greengrass and Tracey Davis
Where: St. Mungo's hospital
When: Early morning, right at the start of the shift
Summary: Sometimes being a Healer is rewarding work. Other times, it makes one want to run away screaming with arms flailing like a spastic octopus.
Rating: PG-PG13 (depending on how you rate descriptions of interesting magical mishaps)
Status: Incomplete

The vast majority of the time, Daphne took her career very seriously. She saw Healing as a noble profession dedicated to caring for others and fixing maladies. However, every so often, there were incidents that were laugh-worthy. Daphne was professional enough to never laugh right at a patient, but she couldn't help but find some of the odder self-inflicted problems amusing. If nothing else, any time she doubted her competence with magic, all she had to do was remember some of the things she'd seen in St. Mungo's.

Normally, Daphne dealt with Potion and Plant Poisoning, but sometimes Healers were called upon to work in other areas, depending on what kind of a rush there was.

At the moment, she was having trouble figuring out if the fellow before her was supposed to go to Artifact Accidents, or to Spell Damage. Either way, the small tree branches (complete with leaves) that seemed to be growing out of his chest piqued her curiosity.

"I'll be right back, sir. I'm going to see if a co-worker of mine knows which floor would serve you better," said Daphne reassuringly.

Spotting Tracey not too far away, she walked quickly towards her. Once she was close enough to her friend to speak in a hushed voice, she said, "You have got to see this patient. I'm also having a bit of trouble directing him."

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trace_the_line
2008-01-29 12:27 am UTC (link)

Tracey turned her head to look at Daphne, lifting an eyebrow. "Oh? What's wrong with him? He speaking in Pig Latin and can't figure out how to change it back?" she asked, lifting an eyebrow. She'd had a case like that before. It was quite amusing, seeing as the bloke just couldn't pronounce any spells correctly. While Daphne was professional enough not to laugh right at a patient, Tracey had that one incident. She couldn't help it. And the guy forgave her anyway! No harm done.

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shygreengrass
2008-01-29 03:40 am UTC (link)

"No...he ah...seems to have a case of um...pectoral foliage," explained Daphne, using professional language as a civilian visitor walked by. Once the visitor was out of earshot, she added, "In other words, he's got tree branches growing out of his chest. Maybe I can ask him a few questions about the problem and you can write everything he says about his ailment down, and we can try to figure out how to direct him from there?"

Daphne's writing was quite poor, and she'd always had to take a great deal of time with her assignments to make certain that her professors at Hogwarts could read her work. Where possible, it was really best to have someone else take down things in writing.

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	trace_the_line 2008-01-29 12:02 pm UTC (link)
	Tracey lifted an eyebrow. "Pectoral foliage... nice," she grinned a bit at her. "All right. I'll check it out with you and try not to laugh. I'm not making any promises, though. You know I usually work with the dead ones." She took the gloves she was wearing off and allowed Daphne to lead the way. "Lead the way to your leafy friend." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

shygreengrass
2008-01-30 09:19 am UTC (link)

Thankfully, the patient was wearing trousers, so the oddity was only on his chest. He'd worn robes, but his chest was otherwise bare underneath. Either way, it was going to be interesting. After all, one of the best ways to find out where a patient was supposed to go was to find out how they got into the state that they did.

"Perhaps we can figure out where you should go if you told us exactly how this happened," suggested Daphne.

"Oh, well...the wife and I decided to have a spot of fun," began the patient, with a little sheepish grin on his face. "You know how it is."

Daphne just had to pause for a moment. She knew she couldn't look directly at Tracey, lest she lose all composure she had and start laughing.

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trace_the_line
2008-01-31 02:02 am UTC (link)

Tracey looked up from the pad of paper that she had written one word down on and regarded the man with either amusement or curiosity. Maybe both. She wasn't entirely sure hereself. She wasn't sure how Daphne reacted, as she could only stare at the patient in disbelief. That seemed more accurate...

"...a spot of fun?" she inquired. "What kind of kinky sex games are you playing?" she asked. Sure it wasn't professional, but she didn't often deal with live people. There was, quite obviously, a reason for that.

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shygreengrass
2008-02-01 06:07 am UTC (link)

"Well, I don't think it's any of your business!" snapped the man. "What I do with my wife is private, thank you very much!"

Daphne wondered why he'd even bothered to share the initial incident, if he was going to be so affronted by Tracey's question. It was, after all, a perfectly normal reaction. Not necessarily the professional reaction, but perfectly normal.

"Ah...sir?" she said, interrupting him tentatively. "That much may not be our business, but it is our business whether this happened due to a magical artifact, a potion, a spell, ingesting a plant...the method will help us get you to the department that can put you right."

"Oh. It was a charm," he replied, looking rather embarrassed.

"Spell Damage, fourth floor. Right that way," Daphne pointed.

Thirty seconds later, and the man was gone.

"...I pity the poor Healers working in Spell Damage," said Daphne, finally losing her professional composure and breaking out into a small fit of giggles. "They've got their work cut out for them."

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trace_the_line
2008-02-01 07:38 am UTC (link)

"If when you say 'work' you mean 'a tough time not laughing', then yes, they do," she told her, lifting an eyebrow. "Really. I just asked a question. And who plays sex games with charms like that?" She rolled her eyes. "I don't envy you. I just get to slice my guys open to find out what's wrong with them." She shook her head. Tracey wasn't supposed to deal with people. It wasn't really her job. This was obviously why.

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shygreengrass
2008-02-01 07:49 am UTC (link)

"I pity whoever has to ask him for the exact details about how that happened," said Daphne, shaking her head. "Though, his story isn't the worst story I've ever heard."

That dubious honor went to the man who swore that someone with a sick sense of humour had put a snippet of hippogriff hair into a love potion. Daphne hoped that it was true and that he hadn't been that...disturbed of an individual.

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	trace_the_line 2008-02-02 02:16 am UTC (link)
	"Oh?" she lifted an eyebrow. "I don't hear weird stories. I see weird things and get to figure out how the hell it happened for myself." She grinned at her a little bit. "It's entertaining, to say the least. I once found a man with seven flobberworms in his stomach." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

shygreengrass
2008-02-02 12:56 pm UTC (link)

"Merlin, what possesses people to do some of the things that they do?" said Daphne, making a little face. "Stupid dares, perhaps. Bizarre bedroom fun gone awry, as we've seen...and human error, I suppose."

Being a Healer was rewarding in that they could help people. Then there were the disturbing stories that were great for a laugh with a few friends...but they certainly tested one's composure.

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