I've been thinking about the gruesome twosome and Sis. Sis is a control freak, manipulator and bully. "Dom" is a bully, manipulator and control freak. Wannabe Leader is a control freak and manipulator.
They all have carefully crafted public personas.
Sis is the professional victim and runs around "helping" people to appear kind and caring. Privately she wears a very different face. She'll drive to the other end of the country to "help" someone she thinks is going to be one of her victims but won't even get off her arse to help anyone at home. She'll make a big performance if it is outside the home - kids at school, for example - but that's because she can get sympathy and attention. She turns it into something about her. Every job she has done has been one where she can be in a "powerful" position. Pub landlord, teaching assistant (was training to be a school teacher but then, all of a sudden her contract wasn't renewed - am wondering if it really was budget cuts or something else), doorstep loans - a job she really loves. Of course she really loves that job. Walking into the houses of vulnerable (predominantly) women and having control over them and their finances. That's an abusers dream job, ready-made targets, people at a really low-point.
Dom is a real creep. He can be quite jovial and disarming but that's a mask. He has no concept that anyone who doesn't share his lifestyle is valid. If you aren't on the "scene" you are obviously repressed. If you aren't sharing your kink with him you obviously have some kind of problem. Like Sis, he thinks that anyone who isn't willing to have sex with him is in the wrong. It never occurs to either of them that they are actually REPULSIVE. They both perv over "perfect" young Goth women whilst not recognising that they are fat, middle aged, were never attractive to start with and have vile, self-absorbed personalities. He has behind him two failed marriages BECAUSE HE CAN'T DO FIDELITY and lies, sleeps around and creeps around.
He brings his BDSM "lifestyle" into the playgan community and shouts down anyone who objects as being "repressive" and "prejudiced". If you go to a pagan moot expecting to hear about shamanic drumming don't you DARE complain about how quickly he turned it around to achieving states of ecstasy through BDSM and him trying to prise out of you details of your sex life and kink WE SHOULD ALL BE OPEN AND TELL EACH OTHER EVERYTHING AND SEX IS PAGANISM, OH YES IT IS. Don't you dare suggest anyone like him is over-sexualised or inappropriate YOU FUCKING PRUDE. How dare you be uncomfortable and don't try to play the "abuse victim" card, didn't you know engaging in BDSM is a wonderful aid to recovery? The best way, apparently, to get over being abused by someone who had control over you is to give control over to someone in "fantasy abuse".
Dom also tries to exert control over the local playgan community. Another "community leader" leading both Asatru and Druid groups as well as the general moot and "eclectic" rituals for the undecided. He was in Wicca before and it is only a matter of time before he sets up some kind of group for that - with him in control - so he can play out his Dom persona AND also find vulnerable women to groom prey on.
Wannabe Leader is another control freak who gets himself into positions of responsibility - moot leader, druid leader, local pagan co-ordinator, etc. He puts up with people like Sis and Dom because they do the work he can't be bothered to and help herd all the fuckwits and fuck ups together. He does just enough so people he isn't removed from positions of responsibility (although the regular splits and break-aways show that not everyone is fooled by him) and talks himself up and goes to BIG IMPORTANT EVENTS as a representative so people outside the local scene think he's a real mover and shaker. He will miss 9 out of 10 local events but will make damn sure that he's at the national conference telling everyone how the local scene runs through him.
Like any religion, paganism is a MAGNET for abusers. They know there is an endless supply of vulnerable people who are so desperate for love, validation, kindness, sympathy, help or just attention. They don't want to organise stuff, they want to CONTROL people. There is a big difference.