IJ Depression Support

I have been suffering from depression most of my life. For the last nine or ten years, I have been taking antidepressants. I wish I didn't have to take them -- I hate the side effects, for one thing -- but I find it much, much harder to cope without them. And my medical insurance pays for medication but does not pay for psychotherapy.

However, I seem to keep running into people that I call the "anti-drug" people. These are people who are convinced that the only reason people take drugs is that we have all been brainwashed by the pharmaceutical industry into believing that we need them. One person informed me that nobody "needs" to take medication unless they are suffering from a life-threatening medical problem "like diabetes or AIDS," and that people who live in third-world countries who don't have access to the drugs that we do are apparently much happier and healthier without all the "poisons" running through their systems.

I have tried to explain that for me, depression really is a life-threatening condition. But people are so convinced that they are right, they won't listen to me. Now, if someone tells me that they successfully treated depression without drugs, I'll probably say to them, "That's great that you were able to do that. Sadly, that's not an option for me." But instead, I get people who tell me that I need to "suck it up and deal with it" or "pull yourself up by your bootstraps."

Hi, everybody. I'd like to be called "Chipmunk" here on IJ. I have an LJ, as well. I'm 21, an undergrad college student and a Buffy fan. (Hence the "Summers" in my name. Diagnosed with depression since 2003 and still struggling with it.


Thanks to anybody who reads this. :)

Hey all, just a bit of randomness to see how everyone is doing during the winter months.

*sigh*

For the past month or so I've been absolutely exhausted - ie, can't get up in a morning, I'm in bed by 8.00pm and asleep by about, oh, 8.05pm! Don't stir until the alarm goes off at 6.30am.

I've been to the GP and had blood tests (they discovered there was a problem so I was happily blaming that) and then my best friend pointed out to me yesterday that it was nothing physical - I was depressed. Happily denied that as well - this *feels* different. But do you know, she's right. I was back at the GP today and she's putting in for counseling and the works.

GODDAMMIT!!!!

The last time this happened it was a totally different thing - it was brought on by stress and bereavement - but this time it's more of an 'up and down' thing. Hopefully - I actually do *feel* better than I did last time - this won't be too hard to get under control. At least it's been caught in time.

Wish me luck!

Thought I'd share some links I found this last week.

( links )

Well, I explain everything here. It's not flist-locked, so you can all see it.

That's how bad everything got. I cannot believe, even now, that I have let it get this far. I was always telling myself that my depression wasn't that bad... how wrong I was. What with my father going on about how he doesn't believe depression is real and my mother telling me it's 'not that bad,' I guess I was starting to think that way myself.

Now I have had to face up to it, and it's a good thing too, because I sit here and realise how much worse it could get without the help I'm now getting.

I had another bad day.

( Triggers: work, finances, stress, driving )

I hate days where I have to make myself do anything. Forcing myself to make the effort just to eat enough so that I can take my medication without the nausea and dry retching, then forcing myself to fill my water bottle and take my medication. Then because I'm stubborn, making myself bring in laundry and take out rubbish because I hate being subject to this awful apathy.

Going to crawl back into bed.

I watched an interesting movie last night and what's even more interesting is the fact that it was a NAMI movie. It was titled 'Dare to Love' and it was abot a schizophrenic patient. So far, it was one of the best movies I've seen about that disability. It didn't seem too 'stereotypical' to me, like other's I've seen.

I couldn't imagine having Schizophrenia and my heart truely goes out to those that do suffer from it. I hope that one day, they find a cure for it.


Well, I'd better go. My meds are kickin' in and my bed is calling me!

Night all.

Today was interesting and funny in an ironic way.
My Mom had a Doctor's appointment today and they happened to change her medication from Zoloft to Lexapro. The reason I find that funny in an ironic way, is because all week I've been telling my Mom to take my Lexapro when she was moody.
My Mom even told her Doctor, that "A family that takes Lexapro together, stays together!" I couldn't help but die laughing. Hopefully, not only will it be cheaper for her, but I hope it will do better (not that Zoloft didn't help, but you know)

Tonight, I will NOT forget to take my meds...

Not too much of anything has happened today, which is a good thing. Unfortunately tomorrow, will be a busy day for me. I don't know if that'll be a good thing or a bad thing. Oh well.

Today wasn't that great a day and it didn't help that I took my Lexapro at midnight of lastnight. Only because I got home late from school and from picking my Mom up at her job. We didn't get home till well, like I mentioned...midnight. If anyone is on this medication, you know how it does when you take it off your "schedule".


Anyways, I spent most of the day feeling like I was "floating on air" or a high feeling. I hate when my medication does that to me. You don't feel yourself or like you should and your body either feels like it's got lead in it or just opposite, like mine did today. But, when I feel that way, all I want to do is sleep...of course I want to sleep all the time anyways, but you know what I mean.

Also, all day today I felt like I've been fussed at or yelled at for no reason. And when you mention that to the person that's doing that to you, they always tell you that you're the one yelling or fussing at them. Now why is that? And that pisses me off more than anything...mostly when I'm not yelling or fussing or trying to start anything with the other person.

Hello. I don't remember how I found this community, but I'm glad I did. Personally, I think there needs to be more communities and awareness about depression. It's scary to think of how many people suffer from this and so many of them don't get help; either because they can't afford it, don't want to admit they have it, or other various reasons.

I found out last year, that I have depression and Anxiety. The depression I have is Mood Swing Disorder or more commonly known as BiPolar Disorder. I was "lucky" in the fact that my Doctors have put me on the right medication the first time. Lexapro 10mg. My mood swings got so bad that I'd change from "hot to cold" within minutes. If one looked at me wrong, I'd have gone off on them...I was that bad. Once in a while, I still get that way, but it's not as bad as it was. I still go through periods of feeling really, really low to where I wish I wasn't here and I think life would be better without me, and then I go through crying fits and then there's days I feel like I'm on top of the world. With my anxiety, it's hard as well since it interferres with somethings. Like, I can't go through the DownTown area,
because of it's overcrowdedness...I tense up and cringe the whole time I'm there. I'm not a good Dental patient...my anxiety comes through real good then. I had an anxiety attack so bad that I could barely breathe or talk one day I was there.

It's not easy. But I know that through talking with people that have the same issues will help me cope with it better.

Like I said, I'm really glad to have found this community.

Yesterday was pretty bad. Actually, the last two weeks have been more or less hell. I know why (it's partially my own fault, lol went off all her meds and still wondered why she was going rapidly downhill), and I've fixed what can be fixed (except for that; we're trying to get an earlier appointment for the new meds that I am actually willing to take), and I just...wanted to post somewhere that I have been deeply retarded lately. Because I won't remember, six or seven months from now when I hate my medication and want to go off it, how stupid an idea that is.

And...stuff that I am too lazy to type out. The end.

hi everyone, i'm new to ij and to this community.

i'm not sure how much to put in an intro, my name is jen, i'm 23, and i'm from missouri.

i've suffered from depression for as long as i can remember. i've had suicidal tendencies and been a self harmer since i was 4, and an eating disorder since i was 16. other than that i have horrible anxiety issues, avoidant personality disorder, and symptoms of histrionic and borderline personality disorders.

i've been on every med imaginable it seems, but ssri's make me suicidal. i just got on effexor and it seems to be helping some. i'm also on klonopin for the panic attacks and anxiety. i'm seeing the doctor tomorrow to have my dosage upped on both, because it's been a horrible week self harm wise and in other ways... so i hope that works out.

anyhow, that's my intro. i don't have any friends added on here, so if you wold like to it would be nice :)

thanks

Hello all. I was put on Effexor XR today. Anyone on this medication or have any experience with it? I'm feeling really nauseated right now.

I think things with me are worse than I've been letting on, or admitting to myself.

I'm hoping it's just because I'm coming off my meds (in preparation for going on something else).

Does anyone else feel like they might be a rapid cycler? I'm beginning to wonder. http://www.mgs.md.gov/esic/brochures/earthquake.html

Today is definitely a bad day. I'm crying again. Pretty much cried myself to sleep last night. I try to present a cheerful face to the world, one that's organized and together and confident, but at the moment I'm just at a terribly low ebb. I'm sure it's partly hormones to blame, but dammit, I hurt so bad. I can't even articulate it clearly. I just wish I could stop feeling sorry for myself long enough to wash my face and change out of my nightshirt.

It's a bitch to get myself to the gym, but once I'm there, exercise does seem to make me feel better. Heck, sometimes I get downright perky and energetic afterwards!

It may just be endorphins at work, but honestly, who cares? Relief from the doldrums is relief, regardless, and I've noticed no side effects... aside from sore muscles the next day.

I saw this posted on LJ, and thought it quite interesting and informative. Certainly, the success rates of psychotherapy would be much higher they distinguished between good and bad psychotherapists. Anyway, enjoy.

Aug 21, 2007
RICHARD A. FRIEDMAN, M.D.

Americans seem to like psychotherapy. Whether it's for the mundane conflicts of everyday life or life-threatening illnesses like major depression, psychotherapy is widely viewed as a healthy, if not harmless, pursuit.

Yet unlike most other medical treatments, psychotherapy can take considerable time. An infection can be cured in days, but remission of severe depression or anxiety disorder usually takes weeks or months, and a personality disorder typically requires years of intensive psychotherapy.

So if the outcome may be months or years away, how can a person tell whether his psychotherapy is any good?

( It's harder than you'd think. )

link

There's something slightly whack about dealing with mental health on a site that uses terminology like this one. Patients and asylums and whatnot. But it's also strangely funny (you know, in that black humor sort of way?) :-)

Anyways. I'm Ellen, 18, from the North of Ireland. I've had two major episodes in the last two years. The latest one was this time last year, and I was on prozac for about six months afterwards. The I stupidly came off cold-turkey and was very luckily OK regardless.

I've been good lately. Really, really good. I got all As in my exams, got my university place, my boyfriend's the best thing since sliced bread (three years now and counting), and life is stress-free.

And then today my friend kills himself. And I feel like I've gone a year back in time. I feel anxiety like I haven't felt for months. My body is reacting physically to the stress-- palpitations and shaking. I have a box of anti-depressants upstairs and I'm badly tempted to take some even though I know full well that a) I'm not technically depressed at all, I'm probably experiencing natural grief and b) they take about a fortnight to have any effect at all, so that would be stupid. But the thing is that I am so scared of going back to being depressed. That this grief will just develop into a major episode and pull me into that hole in the ground. And I have no idea how I stop it. I know how to get better (six months of drugs and my boyfriend pulling me through-- I can't afford counselling...) but I don't know how prevention works. I know the people on here will get what I'm saying. Please, please. I am open to any suggestions.

Hi, I'm Irana and I have Clinical Depression and Generalized Anxiety Disorder. I probably should have introduced myself before now, but I wasn't really certain what to say, and to be honest, I'm having A Day.

I'm currently a Stay At Home Mom, working on my writing and my art and attempting to make a living at it. I'm glad this comm is here... it feels good to be able to say "I'm having A Day" and know that the people I'm saying it to will understand exactly what I mean. So, um, hi!

I just did this over on bipolar, but wtfever, y'all can meet me too! I'm spice it up with some variety in what I talk about, god knows I have enough to write my own goddamn book.

( cut for the inane ramblings of the Delemonstar )

Hi all

Today has been a *good* day.

Yesterday, completely out of the blue, a client bought me flowers! I had done nothing - only my job - and yet he brought me in a bunch of flowers and left before he let the girls down in the shop tell me about it (I should explain that I work in an Estate Agents). As soon as he left, they rang and said I had some flowers, and of course I didn't believe them, but I went downstairs and there they were. How lovely is that? It's so nice to be appreciated.

I've also slept much better the past two nights plus I haven't been working so hard (I also have three jobs). I've not been doing the 'second' job (it's not worth trying to explain, but the second job takes up most of my early mornings and late evenings - it's a transcribing job) for a few days which whilst unfortunate in terms of cash flow, has given me a good rest.

I got the results of my latest blood test back from the doc and the anaemia that has really been causing trouble seems to be under control - it's still there but much less aggressive, so it looks as if the medication is winning on that front, and today I even ate a little more than usual - pushing myself up to a whole 1,000 calories, so all in all it's worked really well.

And the sun is shining.

Yes my friends, today is positive.

*sends positive thoughts to all who need them*

After some careful research, I discovered there wasn't a community for panic/anxiety. So, I've gone ahead and created one. panicandanxiety has the same basic rules as ocd and bipolar. All of these communities are safe spaces and this is something I will not treat lightly.