What 2008 had in store for me:

-losing a close friend to a drug overdose
-the end of a year-long relationship
-not finding a job after college graduation
-having seizures, after 13 years of being off medication and seizure-free
-several old friendships falling apart
-and finding myself all alone, a little too often for comfort.

It's getting to be too much to handle. I've contemplated suicide far too much, and no longer see a need to wake up in the morning. I can smile, I can interact with people normally, but it's all a facade, and I go through my days hoping someone will see through it. But no one does. No one sees, and no one cares. I find myself wanting to die, but more than that, I desperately want to live.
...I just don't know what I'm living for. That's the problem.

I no longer see the beauty in anything.