InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "my Flame burns bright!"

Robyn Summers (robynsummers) wrote in depression,
@ 2008-06-06 12:04:00

Current mood:

hot

Checking Up
Hey! Just wondering how everybody's doing.

For some of us, June brings a lot of changes - summer/winter vacation, no more loneliness at school/uni, but perhaps more loneliness by ourselves at home, or our friends leave on vacation - or maybe for the people who work year-long there is no change except the weather. :(

But wondering how's everybody's coping. For myself, it's a big changing visiting family again in Asia after being in the US for college. Heh. Talk about culture and weather shock! Having to "conservatize" myself for family is something I'm starting to regret more as I grow older.

*hugs to everybody!!!*

(Post a new comment)

13
2008-06-07 09:16 pm UTC (link)

Oh, you're awesome. I could add you as a co-mod of this community, if you're interested. Not that it requires much moderation, but hey.

I've been doing pretty well. I had a few sessions of CBT over the past couple of months, and it helped quite a bit. And I stopped taking Effexor, which was omgsobrutal--but, to be fair, I stopped taking it all at once, which wasn't such a great idea.

How are you doing? How are you enjoying Asia?

(Reply to this) (Thread)

robynsummers
2008-06-08 11:54 am UTC (link)

I just reread my original post - god, the bad grammar/wrong words! *laughs*

Cool, I wasn't mind being a co-mod! :D

Man, stopping cold can be brutal. I can relate. *sheepish* There's a book I liked on Amazon.com that could help me, CBT-wise. Is there a workbook you have to fill out or is it with your therapist verbally only?

I'm doing alright, except for health issues and boredom. The food here is so awesome! I'd be so glad if I gain back weight!

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

13
2008-06-08 10:00 pm UTC (link)

Yay, you're now a co-mod. :P We used the go-to CBT workbook Mind Over Mood by Padesky. I found our sessions much more useful, though. We had an understanding that anything that I actually did to overcome depression and anxiety (job applications, say) was worth a hundred goddamn thought records, which was intuitive. (Incidentally, I hate thought records.) The most useful thing was actually realizing that I don't need to run away and avoid things--rather, that I can survive anxiety-raising situations, and not only survive, in fact, but learn something about myself and the world. What workbook are you looking at?

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

robynsummers
2008-06-08 10:12 pm UTC (link)

Yay, thanks! I was considering this one: Dialectical Behavior Therapy Workbook: Practical DBT Exercises for Learning Mindfulness, Interpersonal Effectiveness, Emotion Regulation, & Distress Tolerance (New Harbinger Self-Help Workbook) (Paperback) http://www.amazon.com/Dialectical-Behavior-Therapy-Workbook-Interpersonal/dp/1572245131/ref=wl_it_dp?ie=UTF8&coliid=IVJUXTWY80U0&colid=3CEPW01RULIXT or The Cognitive Behavioral Workbook for Depression: A Step-by-step Program (Workbook) (Paperback) http://www.amazon.com/Cognitive-Behavioral-Workbook-Depression-Step/dp/1572244739/ref=wl_it_dp?ie=UTF8&coliid=I2JLZNNTUDNYKV&colid=3CEPW01RULIXT

I also hate feeling out thought records or mood gauge things. From the scale of 1-5...well...I don't know right now! It's pretty low because I have to fill this out! :P I have to fill out a food diary for my doctors, so that is tedious to the extreme. But where's the point between avoiding something and being self-aware and realizing it's something that isn't right for you and you shouldn't be in that position? Like living in your hometown. For some people it just isn't right. For others it could be right if issues are resolved. Sorry if I don't make sense; it's 6:12 am here and I've been awake since 1:30pm yesterday...

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

13
2008-06-08 10:24 pm UTC (link)

God, a food diary sounds utterly tedious. My sympathies.

Hmm. I think the think the discerning point is in those pangs of conscience we feel when we avoid something we really shouldn't. If I avoid my friends, say, I feel bad. I could probably justify it away, and maybe there's even some truth in some of those justifications, but maybe I'd still be better off facing it head-on.

I've justified things away on the basis of them "not being right for me" (driving, say), or "not being right at this time" (temporary university friendships, say), but I think those excuses have really just prevented me from living, and from taking risks. And when one stops taking risks, one stops learning--which is a pretty dismal cycle. What do you think?

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

robynsummers
2008-06-10 08:21 am UTC (link)

Thanks. :)

Mmmm, is there a scale upon which these pangs of conscience should be judged upon? I mean, I know I don't want to live in my home country for the rest of my life, or ever again, but sometimes I feel guilty for not being the perfect Malaysian daughter for my parents and relatives. But I don't think I'm running away from it. (I'm probably running away from my language problems, though.) I don't think the Malaysian culture suits me as I've grown very liberal compared to it.

I don't have a license either. :D Don't want one.

I agree stopping to take risks can lead to stopped learning. I've played it safe most of my life so...yeah. But I also think I don't take risks/try new things because I also don't want to fail and look like a failure/dumb-ass/moron in front of others who get it perfectly. (Ah, perfectionism.)

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

13
2008-06-11 01:31 am UTC (link)

I'd suggest basing it on how much one's avoidance interferences with functioning and the ability to maintain a reasonably normal existence. Moving away from one's parents is common and often necessary--it's an uncomfortable part of growing up. But the pangs of conscience brought upon by sins of omission - avoiding friends, avoiding jobs, avoiding responsibility, avoiding dealing with things - are damaging, I think. Much better to make a mistake and learn from it than to continue to avoid anomalies. Oftentimes what we learn from a mistake are the things we really need to know.

I don't particularly want to drive, but I'd like my license just because not having one is so damn limiting--better to have the option. My psychiatrist mentioned that, in his experience, not having a license is usually a good indication of some sort of pathology, like an anxiety or depressive disorder. I think he's probably right about that.

I feel that way, too. But one thing I noticed when I started to take risks is that I can, in fact, survive them, and each time I do, I become much stronger as a result. And it gets easier.

(Reply to this) (Parent)

	13 2008-06-08 10:33 pm UTC (link)
	I like the excerpts from the Workbook for Depression--it sounds well-written and action-oriented. (Reply to this) (Parent)

huojin
2008-06-08 05:39 pm UTC (link)

I am hot too :P

I don't work or go to school (I'm a bum, yay) but summer is icky. I don't like the heat, or trying to find clothes to hide-but-not-die in is very hard o_O. I wish it was always cold here ... summer is depressing because I want to go out in the sun and feel nice, but ... well... covering up in the sun isn't that great an idea D: Where in Asia are you going? I'm from Singapore :D

(Reply to this) (Thread)

robynsummers
2008-06-08 05:52 pm UTC (link)

I'm your "upstairs" neighbor. :P

Tell me about the clothing! I wear tank tops in the US for summer (like last year) but of course here I have to wear loose baggy clothing with sleeves. (Thankfully not long-sleeved.) And unfortunately most of my clothing is black. :-( Too bad my color preferences never match with my weather preferences! (I prefer heat to winter since I die - i.e. lose a lot of weight and vomit - in bad bad bad winters.)

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	huojin 2008-06-08 07:38 pm UTC (link)
	ohhh hi XD Actually I live in England but I'm 50% Singapore :P Haha, I only have black clothes as well! Winters are not so bad here, they're mainly just "chilly" these days... I like the snow though :( (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	robynsummers 2008-06-08 10:08 pm UTC (link)
	I'm 100% Malaysian but I've lived 2/3 of my life outside it. Snow is nice... Wind is not. :( If there was a place where winter was nice and gentle all the time, I might move there. (Reply to this) (Parent)

	realityblur 2008-06-09 11:18 pm UTC (link)
	Summer's stressful because I have more travel for work, but it's not the huge changes that I had to deal with when I was in college and I'm grateful for that. It's much easier when all I have to do is keep doing the same thing. (Reply to this) (Thread)

	robynsummers 2008-06-10 08:24 am UTC (link)
	It is easier when the routine is steady year-long. :) I hope the traveling (if it means airports and not the roads) goes as well as it can! (Reply to this) (Parent)

	Summer Vacation Isn't hilding 2008-06-19 10:48 pm UTC (link)
	When you're a SAHD, summer is a hard time. Spent today asleep on the couch, wishing the voices would shut up. (Reply to this) (Thread)

	Re: Summer Vacation Isn't robynsummers 2008-06-20 05:30 am UTC (link)
	Stay At Home Dad? That would make summer harder! I hope you're able to find some time to relax somewhere! (Reply to this) (Parent)