Hey
I'm new. Never joined this type of comm. before.
Saw it mentioned on my f-list, thought I'd join. I've been having a really bad week. Everything's going wrong. I've been suffering from depression for around 6 years now. Just when it seems like I'm starting to feel ok with things, something comes and destroys it all.
I know what the underlying causes for this depression are though, but I also know that they'll never be truly solved. It really interferes with RL though, things like college. And if I get the grades I'll be going to University soon. I already should have been there this year, but I ended up repeating lower sixth year. (People in the UK will understand that bit)
I say I suffer from depression but I've never really been to a psych to diagnose it or anything. I really don't feel like going to see one. Talking face to face to people about my problems isn't something I enjoy doing. That's probably another reason I joined here. I have been seeing the school counsellor for a few months though, but that wasn't necessarily voluntary. It doesn't help that none of my friends live nearby any more. When you're sitting alone in a crowded classroom full of chatting people, and you stick out like a thumb, it really hits you how alone you really are. I think I'm going to have to get some professional help soon though because it's getting a lot worse. I feel sick all the time, not like I'm actually going to be sick, but just this churning in my stomach and this tightness in my chest and I hate it. I've also started cutting. It's something I told myself I;d never never do, but recently I've found myself having to wear long sleeve shirts to hide my arms from my mam. I wan to stop, but at the same time I dont. It's really confusing.
I'm going to stop now, this was just supposed to be a short introductory post, but it obviously got a little out of hand.