Rebekah Mikaelson (originalfangs) wrote in demoniumic, @ 2015-01-18 21:34:00 |
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Entry tags: | !log |
WHO: KJ and Beks!
WHAT: Doing things right.
WHERE: Their bedroom!
WHEN: After this
WARNINGS: non!
STATUS: Closed
It hadn’t been an easy set of days. It was true of most of the city, and Killian knew he was likely not worse off than anyone else. Derek had lost Mika, who he truly saw as his daughter. Killian had lost Evan, Jazz, Amy and her son, all in short order — his crew of orphans, and he cared about them intently and grieved their absence heavily, yet they had never really felt his. He’d offered them a home, given them a place, made sure they were safe in a City that didn’t seem to care. They’d been important to him, yes. They hadn’t been his. It didn’t make it any easier to suddenly face an empty house, to try and tell a little girl that it was all going to get better when it didn’t feel like it would. Bo had lost a father twice, and as much as he relished having her again (truly selfish, and he was well aware) he hated knowing how much it hurt her to lose her father again. Bo told him she’d see him again, and surely if anyone knew it was Bo, but somehow it didn’t reassure him much. It just meant sooner or later, he’d lose her too. He hadn’t expected the conversation with Rebekah to take the turn it had. He was still stuck with nervous energy, like she’d appear and it’d be some cruel trick. It seemed a bit much to hope that somebody could love him, after how long he’d existed without. Bo loved him and that meant everything; he could have gone on forever if he just had Bo. He was greedy enough that he dared to hope Rebekah actually meant it, though, and until the blasted devices were out of the way, he wasn’t going to trust anything. They hadn’t been together that long, after all; they’d been apart more than they had together. It was not that he didn’t feel it, he just assumed it was too soon to say. Killian loved quite quickly and intensely, and yet he didn’t want to ruin what they had by pushing her too hard. In the turmoil of so many missing and so many grieving, though, he didn’t want to wait any more. He didn’t want regrets. If he disappeared tomorrow, he wanted the girls he loved to know it. Bo knew, and Rebekah should too. His anxiousness was apparent anyway, though, tracking and pacing across the carpet as he waited for her to return. Rebekah could move quite fast when she wanted to be somewhere, but he wasn’t sure where she’d been when she’d answered. It could be awhile before she made it to him. Rebekah wasn’t far from home, but the journey did seem to take a long time. Rebekah wasn’t quite sure what she was feeling at the moment. Yes, the conversation did take an unexpected turn that she wasn’t at all prepared for. All Rebekah wanted to do was try to help Killian get through his grief, and accidentally tell him her feelings wasn’t exactly part of the plan. Rebekah understood what Killian was feeling as she was feeling heartbroken by Amy’s disappearance, but maybe hundreds of years worth of heartaches and disappoints, she learned how deal with it. Probably not in the healthiest way, in the past, but being in Neptune and here in the City, it was just easier to accept that there was nothing she could do about it. Of course it didn’t make it hurt any less, but it did release the burden that she felt, and she didn’t have the same ‘what if’ torment that she had in the past. Now there was another situation before that she was unprepared for. When the front door was in sight, she couldn’t help but pause. It wasn’t the feelings that scared Rebekah, more that she wasn’t sure if she was ready to admit them to Killian. Admitting it made it real, and past experiences told her that relationships hardly end the way she’d like them to. It’s truth things were different this time, Klaus was no longer tormenting her and somehow making someone she loved choose between her and Klaus. Now she had the support of family she’s longed for, and she loved someone that understood her. Yes, she had always been quick to give out her heart. A trait that she had long accepted about herself, but to give her heart to someone that could disappear at any moment, that was something quite different. Rebekah opened the door and stepped inside and with a calm voice she spoke out, “Killian?” Her nerves were quite under control. She knew they would eventually get to the topic, but first she really did want to make sure that he was all right. “I’m home. I hope I didn’t keep you waiting,” she added once Killian was in her sight. She could have been there instantly and it still would have felt like a lifetime. Killian was a patient man when he needed to be, yes. He’d waited centuries for a chance at revenge. Now, though, his patience was quite limited. As nervous as he was for how the conversation would go, and yes, he was nervous, he wanted to see her. It occurred to him only after it was too late that he’d left her hanging, uncertain how he felt about what she’d said. As if love could ever be a bad thing. She really didn’t need to worry about him running away from her because she loved him. He didn’t think he deserved to be loved, sure, that didn’t mean he didn’t want to be. Despite his darkness, apparently his heart was more than capable of loving again, and he didn’t want to let go of the chance that they had. Hadn’t the City proven that chances were quite fleeting? He knew what love felt like. It’d been a very long time since he’d felt it, but it was something one just didn’t forget. He’d felt it growing as he’d finally let Rebekah into his heart, allowed himself to really let what was between them become reality, and honestly? The way he’d missed her once she was gone indicated he’d already been drawing close to deeper feelings, and he hadn’t acted on them. He wasn’t going to make the same mistakes anymore, let good things pass him by. Oh, they wouldn’t last, nothing beautiful ever did… but it’d be worth it for what time they did have. He was lost in his thoughts when she entered, but her voice snapped him out of it. “Come here,” he told her, immediately, not paying much mind to whether he’d had to wait or not. He’d survived it, hadn’t he? He met her halfway, hand rising to brush her cheek. He’d already asked her and yet he wanted to hear it off her own tongue. “Did you really mean it? That you…” He almost couldn’t shape the words because he didn’t want to be disappointed if he’d understood wrong. It wouldn’t change how he felt, he just wanted to hear it anyway. Rebekah felt herself surprised by his rush, not that it wasn’t unwelcomed. His gesture had immediately put aside any fears that she was still holding on to. His touch reminded her of the first time they had become reaquainted, after Rebekah had first arrived. The pain she felt when she first saw the face over the network was still very clear. She thought it had been a trick to torment her, knowing that it would be Killian, but not her Killian. She had no way of knowing, at the time, that he would have the memories of Neptune. Yet, here they were. Killian was holding her, eager to hear the words that she held back for a time. “Killian,” she started but wasn’t quite sure how to end the sentence. Her voice was soft and she knew she carried the look of happiness on her face. Hardly a moment passed before she spoke up again. “Of course, I meant it. I love you.” She said in barely a whisper. He really shouldn’t have doubted. Love was something that couldn’t hide, not really. When someone loved it was evident in more than just their words; it was in their touch, their voice, their body, and most certainly their eyes. He’d been quick to dismiss the possibility for quite some time, when he really should have known sooner how she felt. And how he felt in return hadn’t been a mystery to him, yet she was right that saying it out loud was more frightening than holding it in. Making it real for both of them, instead of just holding it where it couldn’t hurt — only he knew full well that holding onto love and never letting it go, never letting it out? There was nothing more harmful than that. So really, when he looked her in the eye to see the truth of her words, she might have been able to catch the truth in his expression before he even said it. Maybe she saw it, but saying it was just as important. It was unbelievable, unimaginable, that he could love again after Milah. For so long, he’d imagined it was impossible. Or really, if it was, that it’d be unfair to the love he lost to take on another. It’d taken centuries to realize that holding onto her so tightly was not only hurting him, it was hurting her memory. Milah’s final whisper that she loved him had not been a plea for him to never move on, he’d just frozen himself to try and keep from ever hurting like that again. Only he’d rather hurt like that again than not feel at all. It had taken him far too long to come to that conclusion. His blackened heart didn’t deserve love, yet it sang with it anyway. No matter how long he’d spent in the dark, love was a brightness he’d always believe in, and fight for. He managed a small but genuine smile in response to her promise, because he honestly didn’t think he’d ever find someone to love him again, and before she could ache too much in his lack of response, he answered in kind, “I love you.” It was brilliant, how wonderful those few words made him feel. How wonderfully they wound around her tongue. How easily he could say it, and not hate himself for it. “I love you,” he repeated, possibly uselessly, but before she could respond he said it a third time in his kiss. Rebekah smiled, blissfully happy she didn’t even bother to say anything in response, but melt when their lips met. Despite all the sadness, despite the risk of losing him again, Rebekah couldn’t help but feel so lucky in her life. Yes, there may be some things that Rebekah felt like she was missing in her life, but at this moment she couldn’t possibly want anything else. She had a family that loved and supported one another, and she finally found someone that truly loved her that she often thought she didn’t deserve. There was nothing that she wanted to say at this moment, but instead she closed the small space between them as she pressed her body against his. Her hand, brushing against his cheek, more than willing to completely lose herself in this moment. The City seemed to be a string of moments. It was a gamble to keep investing himself more and more when he didn’t know how it would end, or when it’d be over. And yet the deeper he got the less he could stop himself. Maybe this moment wouldn’t last forever but what moment ever did? They had this time and this chance and they’d be foolish to turn away from it because it wouldn’t last for an eternity. Unlike Rebekah herself, Killian wasn’t fated to live forever. The idea was to do it right, and he intended to. There was more than enough that they’d need to think about, discuss, dwell on later. Right now all he wanted to do was hold onto her and make sure she knew exactly how much he meant it. He wound his arms around her a little bit tighter, like if he just held on securely enough he’d never have to let go. Life didn’t work that way, but he’d like to pretend for just a little while. Now was not the time to think of temporary, it was time to savour, and he intended to do that. |