Oct. 7th, 2018


[info]vickyblueeyez

He talked of having no outlets.

LonelyDriver could always talk to Satoshi.

Satoshi could always talk to LonelyDriver.

JonSnow had the option and could always talk to Satoshi but he never reached out or replied to Satoshi's messages when Satoshi reached out to him.

If anything else, just talk to one another as FRIENDS.

PLEASE REPLY with your thoughts, opinion and feedback.


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Oct. 6th, 2018


[info]vickyblueeyez

They Killed My OTP Spuhura :(

They killed my OTP :(

They killed my OTP (fandom term - original true pairing). I was on the Spuhura ship (Spock/Uhura) since 2009 when the reboots came out. I loved the dynamic of the couple. I loved everything about them........until -I- started being Uhura and dating Spocks, dating Vulcan like men.

Maybe it's because they knew it was my "ship" (ship, a fandom term for a couple you favor) and how I adored them. They would always say I'm Uhura and they are Spock. Maybe it was because we were an interracial couple that had the same dynamic of white guy black woman. After a while, it stops being cute. Men who wear masks. Men who don't share their feelings. Men who aren't in touch with their feelings, who hide them. Men where you have to PRY any show of emotion from them. How things like affection, PASSION is a battle just to get out of them.

I dealt with it with J. Then with D where like, R, the only "emotional response" I could "elicit" was from anger. Only though arguing did I seem to get their raw emotions. Any other time, Mr Silent Treatment. ALL of them. Remember the scene in the movies where the bullies started talking about Spocks mom? It seems with these guys, I had to go through the extremes to get ANYTHING out of them. Extremes like talking of breaking up JUST so I could get an idea of how they felt about me. Even then, they felt very little. Discarding me as if I were trivial. Not fighting for me or us because again, trivial. I didn't matter. They didn't care. If they did care, never showed it.

They aren't affectionate, these Vulcans. Cold. Callous. ROBOTIC. Emotionless. It's draining. I'm TIRED of being the Uhura, their Uhura. I don't want to be any more. I want someone in touch with their feelings, who isn't afraid to express and SHOW ME their feelings. Who isn't "conflicted" as far as feeling or not to feel.

These Vulcans. More than once I've had them tell me that I made them feel things they haven't felt in a long time or aren't used to. As a result, they shut down, shut out and push me away. Me, this thing that has stirred them when all they want to do is be dead inside. I am the enemy, the attacker to their peace, them being numb. So I get cast out because it's "easier" to deal with, they can just turn off having to feel again. I'm tired of that shit. I'm tired of Vulcans all together.

I don't want them. I don't want any more men relating to Vulcans or Mr Spock. I don't want to be another Uhura to another Spock. I need an EMPATH or something.

Thinking of changing all my screen names to things along the lines of I-Don't-Date-Vulcans, Uhura-No-More, or Not-Ur-Uhura.

This used to be my favorite ship. I wrote so much fanfiction of them. Looking back, in all my fics, MY SPOCK definitely had more emotion, more passion, and expressed more to HIS Uhura than the Vulcan's I've dealt with. In my fics, he's different around her. More expressive, more emotional because it's HER. To her, it's like he's completely human. To others, he's just the cold Robot. They aren't like that with me. Even obtaining communication is struggle with them.

I think of the ship, of the characters and now I have a negative association thanks to the real life Vulcans I've encountered.

I'm NOT your Uhura. I WILL NOT BE MONITORING YOUR FREQUENCY.

I don't want to be anyone's Uhura anymore.

PLEASE REPLY with your thoughts, opinion and feedback.


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Oct. 5th, 2018


[info]vickyblueeyez




Sent from my mobile.

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PLEASE REPLY with your thoughts, opinion and feedback.


β™πŸ’”Posts sent via mobile. Image postings show up twice. I don't know why. Mobile view only shows 10 entries per page. You'll have to hit the <10 button in between the ads to see previous ten.β™πŸ’”

November 2010

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