This had me laughing so hard!

Title: Tight Squeeze
Author: AlbaLark
Rating: PG13
Characters: Hermione, Madame Pomfrey, Hagrid
Setting: Second Year, just after Hermione was petrified
Archived @: Archive Of Our Own
Summary: Overheard in the Hogwarts Infirmary

Title: Roadkill
Author: Piper Julian
Archived @: Fanfiction.net
Summary: Voldemort avoided death as a spirit for 13 years. Strangely, he couldn't avoid a bus. One Shot.

Lady B's Observations: Do not be reading or drinking anything when you read this. I laughed for 5 minutes straight while I was eating M&M's and nearly choked. My stomach is pleasantly sore. ^_^

Title: Rumor Has It
Author: HowDracoGotHisGrooveBack
Summary: There are a lot of strange rumours floating around about Potter and Malfoy. Rated T for swearing and excessive references to cherries.
Archived @: Fanfiction.net
Rating: T


My observations: You know how it works; Person A tells Person B a secret then Person B tells Person C only Person B gets the words mixed up and by the time the secret reaches Person Z, the whole story has changed. Yeah, this is one of those. And it's funny. :-)

It's that time of year where I rec the one Snarry Christmas fic that always makes me cry. I've rec'd this one every year since I've read it (4 years now).

Title: The Truest Christmas Wish
Author: Constant Vigilance
Pairing: Snarry
Summary: A rewrite of a traditional Christmas story, Harry Potter style.

It's been quite some time since I rec'd a story. Came across this one in a fic rec community and gave it a read...it's pretty good!

Title: Poison Pen
Author: GenkaiFan
Archived @: Fanfiction.net
Characters/Pairings: No pairings - Harry Potter, Albus Dumbledore, Filius Flitwick, Ragnok, The Goblins of Gringotts, et al
Rating: PG13
Summary: Harry has had enough of seeing his reputation shredded in the Daily Prophet and decides to do something about it. Only he decides to embrace his Slytherin side to rectify matters.
Status: WIP with 25 chapters, last updated March, 26, 2010

Title: You Had Me From...
Author: La Nuit
Archived @: HPFandom.net
Rating: Mature
Status: WIP @ 7 Chapters, last update July, 5, 2009
Genre: Post-War, Romance, Humor, H/C
Pairing: Harry/Draco
Summary: Post-war and a lot has changed at Hogwarts. The Golden Trio return for their seventh year and Harry learns just how very powerful words are...


Lady B's Observations: Harry doesn't think he's gay, especially gay for one Draco Malfoy, and he sets out to prove it...but the rest of the student body can clearly see that he is. The river of De Nile is long and paved with good intentions.

You'll definitely laugh at this one. Updates are slow but worth the wait.

Title: Draco The Cowardly Lion
Author: Lomonaaeren
Archived @: Fanfiction.net
Summary: When Draco gets Sorted into Gryffindor, everything changes. For the, uh, for the better?
Genre: AU Crackfic
Rating: PG13 for implied sex
Status: Complete One-shot

I only have 1 thing to say...

HP ficlet: Welsh Hills [Harry/Severus, general]
Title: Welsh Hills
Author: celandineb
Fandom: HP
Pairing: Harry/Severus
Rating: general
Length: 239 words
Summary: Harry persuades Severus to take a brief holiday.
Note: For ladybahiya who wanted Harry/Severus, hiking.

Title: Broken Wings
Author: Snapegirlkmf
Archived @: Fanfiction.net
Characters: Severus/Harry father/son relationship
Rating: PG13
Genre: Hurt/Comfort
Summary: Desperate to escape his guilt and nightmares after the third task,Harry transforms into a hawk by accident and ends up breaking both wings and suffering partial memory loss. He is found by Snape, who helps him and discovers the truth about his professor.
Status: WIP @ 6 chapters, last updated March 30, 2009 - updates once a week.

Lady B's notes: An animagus story with a twist. From what I've read so far, it's very good. And you must bear witness to a whiny, bitchy "Please don't tell daddy on me" Draco. It's amusing to watch.

Title: Harry's First Detention and Harry's New Home
Author: kbinnz
Archived @: Fanfiction.net
Pairings/Genre: Severus takes Harry as his ward/adopted son.
Rating: PG13
Status HFD: Complete One-shot
Status HNH: WIP@36 Chapters, updates frequently
Summary HFD: Take one mistreated boy, one misinformed man, mix well and watch what happens.
Summary HNH: One lonely little boy. One snarky, grumpy git. When the safety of one was entrusted to the other, everyone knew this was not going to turn out well... Or was it?
Author's Note: This is a sequel to "Harry's First Detention" and makes reference to events in that story. If you haven't read it, this story may not make much sense... If you have read the story, then this sequel tells the tale of how Snape fulfilled the tasks Dumbledore assigned him. This story picks up only a few days after "Harry's First Detention".


Lady B's Observation: Each chapter is a lesson in laughter. I did read "Harry's First Detention" but in all honesty, you could probably skip it and still get an idea of what went on from the first chapter of "Harry's New Home". Bookmark it, because it's a wild and fun ride. Can Sev be my dad, too? Please?

Title: The Art of Communication
Author: unbroken_halo
Pairing: Snarry
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 712
Summary: Severus straightens out Ron's perception of his and Harry's relationship.
Disclaimer: Harry Potter and company belong to JKR Rowling. This piece of fiction was written for entertainment purposes only and makes no monetary gain for the author.
Warnings: *Snark, language*
AN: Written for ladybahiya for the lovely iconage. *smoochies* Thanks again, darling! Special thanks to the ladies in slash chat too, for the once over. *snuggles and gropes*


I made her an icon based on her last post/rant about a fic review and she made fic based on a prompt I gave her: Harry's defending Snape to his friends in the Great Hall during lunch or something and all the students and teachers hear him. Snape stands up, looks at Harry and with a sneer on his face says "Potter! Your cock, my arse. Tonight at 8. Be there!" and then he leaves the room, robes swirling. Go Read Now!

Anyone up for some seriously funny Ron-In-Denial-About-Harry-Being-Gay-And-In-Love-With-Draco?

Title: The Angry Dragon
Author: La_Nuit
Archived @: HPFandom.net
Genre: Romance, Humor/Parody, PWP
Characters: Harry/Draco, Hermione, Other, Pansy, Ron
Summary: Originally a one shot now a short story. In which Ron is inspired and sets Harry on a magazine provoked quest, Harry doesn't want to play but gets roped along anyway and Draco finds himself tempted, teased and tamed.
Rating: NC17
Warnings: Contains Slash Sex

Title: A Squib Worth
Author: Naia
Archived @: Fanfiction.net
Pairing: Harry/Hermione (I know, right?)
Rating: PG13
Status: Complete at 4 Chapters
Summary: The day Harry Potter turned eleven was the day he would have re-entered the magical world. But the letter never came; Harry Potter was a Squib. Dismissed by the wizards, he makes a quiet life for himself and will not stand for them to ruin it.

Why I am recommending it: Now I really don't care for Harry/Hermione pairings, but the summary intrigued me and I wanted to see what it was all about. But Naia has managed to put a lifetime of Harry in 4 chapters. It's a Harry-is-betrayed with a twist for lack of a better word. It delves into exactly how prejudice wizards and witches are to those who have little/no magic, but yet when it's time for action on Harry's part, he refuses to co-operate, for why should he help wizards when those same wizards shunned him for most of his life? An intriguing story from beginning to end. And dude...I just read HET for pete's sake! You HAVE to read it now!

- - -

And speaking of Harry-is-betrayed stories...

Title: Dawn
Author: Naia
Archived @: Fanfiction.net
Pairing: Author is undecided on Harry at the mo, but there is Dramione and Bleville
Rating: PG
Status: WiP at 4 Chapters last updated January 5, 2009
Summary: A new dawn, a new day. In a now peaceful world, Harry Potter likes to watch the dawns. Battle weary and betrayed, he is finally enjoying life in the Muggle world. However the wizards haven't forgotten the Boy-who-lived and want him back.

Why I am recommending it: From the first paragraph in the first chapter, to the last word in the last updated chapter I was sucked in like a moth to a flame. This this the penultimate Harry is betrayed story, and by the people he least expected: Remus, Sirius, Hermione and Neville. I don't want to give too much away so you're just going to have to read it and add it to your alerts list.


And did you know the author is a 23 year old French woman in her 6th year of studies at medical school? And she finds time to write such intriguing stories? Yeah! I'm impressed!

Title: "Second Best"
Author: RaeWhit
Pairing: Snarry
Rating: NC17
Summary: Two lonely men find each other in an internet chat room, and ultimately discover that it is, indeed, a small world after all.

It's that time of year where I rec the one Snarry Christmas fic that always makes me cry. I've rec'd this one every year since I've read it (3 years now).

Title: The Truest Christmas Wish
Author: Constant Vigilance
Pairing: Snarry
Summary: A rewrite of a traditional Christmas story, Harry Potter style.

- - -

And this one I've just recently read today...

Title: Severus and the Sex-Kitten
Author: the_con_cept
Pairing: Snarry, Harry/Others
Author Summary: Harry is a super-powered cat. No, really. I thought up lots of other summaries, but that’s pretty succinct and accurate. Only a bit cracky though, I promise!

- - -

And a WiP I've been following...according to the author, there's one chapter and an epilogue left to post.

Title: Ashes of Armageddon
Author: Emily Waters
Pairing: Snarry (Dark!Harry, slave!Snape)
Rating: NC17
Warnings: Post-DH, ignores epilogue, Violence, Adult Language, Sexual Situations, BDSM, Non-con (rape), Character Death, OOC-ness, Contains Slash Sex
Status: WiP at 68 Chapters; author says there's 1 chapter and an epilogue left to post. Story updates every few days.
Summary: Book One: What if Harry never had the King's Cross experience? Severus Snape survives Nagini's bite, and wakes up from a coma five years later, only to become enslaved by a very angry, vindictive, and extremely powerful Harry Potter. Book Two: The war is truly over now, and both Harry and Severus Snape have survived the ordeal. But the consequences of the two months spent at Godric's Hollow are still with them.

Title: A Small Problem
Author: enchanted_jae
Summary: A potion mishap won't prevent Harry from having sex with his boyfriend.


You really need to read this. And don't have any food or drink in your mouth when you do.

Title: Double Duty
Author: alisanne
Pairing: Severus Snape/Harry Potter/Draco Malfoy
Rating: NC-17
Summary: Severus discovers that the world can change in seven short years. Disclaimer: Harry Potter is © J. K. Rowling, Warner Brothers, Scholastic Books, Bloomsbury Books, and all other entities involved in the Potterverse.


I don't care what anybody else says, alisanne is the Super Queen of our OT3

Title: My Son
Author: lilyseyes
Archived @: HPFandom.net
Characters: Severus and Harry.
Summary: Severus Snape finds a way to remove his small son from the care of the Dursleys.
Rating: Mature
Status: WiP @ 5 chapters, last updated September 9, 2008


This is a Snape-Is-Harry's-father story and from what I've read so far, it's wonderful.

Title: An Apple and a Snog
Author: enchanted_jae
Pairing: H/D
Rating: PG
Warning(s): Fluff
Summary: Harry and Draco spend an enjoyable day at Hogsmeade's annual Fall Festival.


Another birthday fic for me. And it's all cute and everything!

Title: Firsts
Author: softly_sweetly
Pairing: Harry/Draco
Summary: I love all our firsts.
Warnings: Slash, OMG TEH FLUFF!!!!!, First!Person


softly_sweetly asked me for a prompt for my birthday. I told her I wanted something so damn fluffy it would make me cry buckets of tears. She accomplished it spectacularly!


Like I said earlier...BEST BIRTHDAY EVER!!!!!

Title: It's Good To Be Slytherin
Author: enchanted_jae
Pairing: D/H
Rating: NC17
Warning(s): Explicit sex, grudging consent, use of a toy (For purposes of this fic, characters engaged in sexual activity are over the age of 18.)
Summary: Draco Malfoy has come into possession of some rather sordid pictures of Harry Potter, which he uses as leverage to get Potter in his bed.


Yay for Slytherins!!!

Title: To Touch a Unicorn
Author: Lomonaaeren
Pairing: Harry/Draco
Rating: R
Warnings: Profanity, references to sex, heavy angst. DH Spoilers, but ignores epilogue. Possible rape referenced in the background, though it didn’t happen. Hurt/comfort.
Summary: Teaching at Hogwarts is more than Draco ever expected to aspire to after the war. He would be content if not for two things: Harry Potter visiting to give lectures on Defense Against the Dark Arts, and those bloody unicorns.

Title: PS Sorry 'Bout That
Author: Realmer06
Rating: PG
Characters: Harry, Vernon, Dudley and Petunia
Summary: About a month after the final battle, Harry receives a letter from a most unlikely person.

Originally posted July 2008 - I've been following this story since it began, and now that it's almost over, I feel the need to rec it. It's by one of my good friends, miss weasleywench. Please give what she has a read, and show some love for it.

Title: The Price of Valor
Author: former lj user weasleywench
Status: Complete
Pairing: Disabled!Harry/Healer!Draco
Rating: NC17
Summary: What happens when someone you hate needs you more than anything else? When it's life or death, either battle to the end, or die trying.
Warnings: DH compliant, but ignores the Epilogue. Invasive medical procedures. Angst, Language, Lemon, Lime, OOC, Original Character(s), Smut, Violence, Slash
Author's note: Rating for later chapters: For the avoidance of any and all possible doubt, this story features a lot of plot and character development. The smut is quite a long way off.

Post Update Nov.22.2010
It seems that the author has disappeared from the fandom and has deleted all her fics, including any fic archives she was a member of. I asked around and somone was kind enough to share their copy with me. If you'd like to have it as well, please click the link above to open your default email program and press "send".

Dec.03.2011: I have disabled comments to this post. As I've stated above, if you want a copy of this fic, click the link above that will open your default email and just press "Send".

I'm slowly slogging my way through the final chapters of Star-Crossed. I'm hoping to have the whole thing finished before the end of the month.

And since it's been a while, I bring you a fic rec.

Title: Of Thwarted Plans
Author: maxfaith
Archived At: Fanfiction.net
Status: Completed One-shot
Pairing: Harry and Draco
Rating: NC17
Summary: Draco had a plan. A very good, solid plan. Trust Potter to thwart him.
Warnings: Voyeurism, wanking, possible chan? (they're still in school, I'm assuming they're 7th years), smexxing


Lady B's Observations: Harry is clearly clueless...but you'll see why as the story progresses.

Can you believe it's over?

Love...thy name is Wankfest.

Voting and reveals go up soon, and you definitely have to read the finale fic.

It's wrong but oh so hot.

Title: A Glorious Day for a Hand Job (Vincent Crabbe on the Hogwarts Express with the Hand of Glory)
Artist: ?
Author: ?
Character: Crabbe the Younger
Location: Hogwarts Express
Object: Hand of Glory
Other Characters: Vince Crabbe, with a splash of Goyle, Malfoy and Potter
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: Wanking. Slytherins.

There's also art to go with it! :D

Title: When Fate Steps In
Author: florida_minxie
Challenge: Team Dragon Entry for the 2008 snarry_games
Genre: Alternate Universe *Hover/Click for Games Definition of Alternate Universe*
Prompts: Trial, Kiss
Rating/Warnings/Kinks: Light R *Although Harry is seventeen during part of this fic, there is no underage sex*
Word Count: +/-20,000
Summary: Sometimes the best wishes are the ones that sneak up on you.

I'll repeat what I left in my review: I always know a good story when I'm crying buckets at the end of it.

Title: Bottoms Up
Author: Aucta Sinistra
Pairing: Harry/Severus
Rating: NC17
Summary: Harry-in-disguise meets Snape-on-holiday.


I laughed my butt off...a Jealous!Harry is fun to watch.

I need some Harry/Sev icons...

Title: "Gold-Tinted Spectacles"
Author: beren_writes
Rating: R
Pairing: Harry/Draco
Summary: Harry is about to enter his seventh year, and things are not quite what he expected. He is no longer the angry boy who watched his world fall apart at the end of his fifth year, but neither has he completely found his place yet. He is looking for something, and to his confusion it seems to have something to do with Draco Malfoy.


This is one my absolute favorite stories. It also contains my favorite Draco quote as seen in my icon.

Title: Desperately Seeking Someone"
Author: alaana_fair
Pairing: Harry/Draco
Rating: NC17
Summary: A personal ad brings out the best in our Harry.


This story came about when Alanna Fair saw an amusing personal ad that could have been written by Draco Malfoy himself. So her journal friends list demanded that she write fic for it and this was the result. You'll get a good laugh out of this fic, I know I did.

Title: Two Out of Three
Author: roedhunt
Pairing(s): HP/SS/LM/DM
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: 1444
Summary: Harry is the sex prisoner of Lucius Malfoy, Severus Snape, and Draco Malfoy, given to them by Lord Voldemort..
Warnings: *All sorts of BDSM activities. *g**


Two Out of Three

Title: A Part Of Me
Author: Kurinoone
Archived@: HPFandom.net
Status: Complete
Genre: Genfic
Rating: PG13 for violence and language
Summary: Harry tries to adjust to his new life without Voldemort. But sometimes your past refuses to stay in the past.


This is a sequel to The Darkness Within. There is a Harry/Ginny pairing but it doesn't detract from the actual plot of the story (and you guys know I don't often rec a het pairing). Author indicates that a third part is well on it's way to being completed.

Title: Running Poolside HP/DM/SS/RL
Author: cyane_snape
Rating: NC 17
Warnings: SMUT, PWP, M/M Smex, Slash, nothing redeemable but smex...Get the picture?
Summary: Four men naked in a pool. What else do you need? Challenge #10: Write a fiction featuring the following grouping: Harry/Draco/Remus/Severus. TSS Contest #3 2nd Place winner! Pure smut.

Lady B's notes: She wrote my OT4!!!!!!!! I heart her to death!!

Originally posted Sept.18,2006

Title: What Evil Lurks in Underpants
Authors: pixystick (Harry) and furiosity (Draco)
Genre: Crackfic
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Harry/Draco
Warning(s): Crack, and lots of it. Implied wallpreg.
Length: 2600 words
Summary: A sunny Tuesday morning turns nearly lethal as Harry makes a stunning realisation. Or, you know, we have absolutely no idea what we're talking about.

Title: The Darkness Within
Author: Kurinoone
Archived@: HPFandom.net
Status: Complete
Genre: Genfic
Rating: PG13 for violence and language
Summary: What if Wormtail hadn't told Lord Voldemort the Potters hideout. What if he took Harry straight to him instead?


It's the cliched "Harry has a brother" story with a twist. His brother is 3 years younger than him and they meet 15 years later.

"The Care Of Infants" by Perfica: A curse from Voldemort regresses Harry to infancy. Snape must protect him while the Order tries to find a way to reverse the spell.

Why I'm recommending: What's not to love about a six-month old chubby Harry Potter bouncing up and down and dancing to music. It got a laugh out of Severus. And the ending is so sweet, Severus nervous and unsure about their relationship. It's quite humbling to see such a strong man reduced to a nervous wreck about his feelings for Harry and vice versa.

Dammit - I need some Snarry icons!
Share!!

Originally posted September.13.2006

domina_malfoy wrote me Slytherin!Harry and Bottom!Draco for my birthday!!

Being A Good Sport by domina_malfoy

*Hugs and snogs her to death*

Originally posted September.09.2006

I just spent the last 3 1/2 hours reacquainting myself with "Starts With A Spin" by Maxine (check Skyehawke.com).

It's one of those stories that never fails to make me laugh and cry at the same time.

If you haven't read it, please do...you'll simply fall in love with it and I bet over 1/2 of my friends list would agree with me.

Originally posted September.09.2006

I just read the funniest thing...

I will simply call it...The Fucktard That Calls Himself Voldemort.

Read it...you'll laugh as well.

Originally posted September.01.2006

Title: Redemption
Author: krtshadow
Archived@: Fanfiction.net
Summary: Harry Potter has spent six years in Azkaban. Now, Dumbledore, Black and Lupin are here to retrieve him, now certain of his innocence. Will they be too late to save Harry's sanity? And if so, what does this mean for the world? AU after year 4.
Genre: Gen Fic
Warnings: Whatever you do, do not be eating, drinking, or sniffing ANYTHING while reading this unless you want your pc/laptop to get an impromptu food/drink bath. Also, avoid rubbing your eyes unless you want to poke yourself. I laughed my ASS off during the whole thing.
Warning #2: This story should have taken me about 3 hours to read, instead it took me about 6 because Fanfiction.net's servers were doing some funky weird shit where you click to the next chapter and get some kind of "chapter not found" warning, causing you to go back to the previous page, wait 5 to 10 minutes for the server then click to the next chapter.