How I Met Your Father
(95500 words) by dracogotgame
Fandom: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Relationships: Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter, Ginny Weasley/Blaise Zabini, Hermione Granger/Ron Weasley, Harry Potter/Ginny Weasley, Harry Potter/OMC
Characters: Harry Potter, Draco Malfoy, Ginny Weasley, Blaise Zabini, Ron Weasley, Hermione Granger, James Sirius Potter, Albus Severus Potter, Lily Luna Potter, Scorpius Malfoy
Additional Tags: Crossover, Adopted Children, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Flashbacks
Harry sits his kids down and tells them a story. A very long story.
The Price of ValorAuthor:
former lj user weasleywenchStatus:
What happens when someone you hate needs you more than anything else? When it's life or death, either battle to the end, or die trying.Warnings:
DH compliant, but ignores the Epilogue. Invasive medical procedures. Angst, Language, Lemon, Lime, OOC, Original Character(s), Smut, Violence, SlashAuthor's note:
Rating for later chapters: For the avoidance of any and all possible doubt, this story features a lot of plot and character development. The smut is quite a long way off.It seems that the author has disappeared from the fandom and has deleted all her fics, including any fic archives she was a member of. I asked around and someone was kind enough to share their copy with me. I have disabled comments to this post. If you want a copy of this fic, Click Here to Download PDF.
The Man In Draco's Bed & [Sequel] Grandpa's Little AngelAuthor:
former lj user cyanesnapeStatus:
NC17Summaries: The Man In Draco's Bed:
Lucius is hysterical…actually he would rather be dead. Draco has arrived at Malfoy Manor just in time for the Christmas Holidays…with his new husband, Harry Potter-Malfoy. The Malfoy Code of Honor™ demands that Lucius protect his new son-in-law and Voldemort is coming for Christmas dinner! Grandpa's Little Angel:
No one should have to suffer through two meltdowns, but Lucius Malfoy’s luck has run from bad to worse for the last four years. It all began when Harry Potter became his son-in-law.Warnings:
Angst, Language, Lemon, Lime, OOC, Smut, Violence, SlashThis is another one of my favorites that has disappeared from fanfic. I have disabled comments to this post. If you want a copy of this fic, Click Here to Download PDF.
Title: Inspected by No. 13
Archived @: FanficAuthors.net
Timeline: The Triwiz Tourney
Summary: The night before the first task, Harry discovers that his plan to out fly the dragon is doomed to failure. With no other choice, he makes a desperate play that actually works. Sometimes, escaping can be a trap of it's own.
Lady B's Observations: Had me laughing from beginning to end.
Excerpt from "Enough is Enough
" Chapter 21: The Goblins have decided enough is enough and help Harry overcome Dumbledore's manipulations. This is going to be fun.Fudge had had enough. The Aurors hadn't been able to get to the boy because of some shied of sorts. It was time to call in the help.
'POTTER I SHALL SEE YOU KISSED FOR YOUR CRIMES! DEMENTORS!'
The air started to get chilly as the creatures answered the call. Some students began to panic and flee as far away from the doors as possible, making the teacher's table very crowded. The ones Harry taught had drawn their wands. Harry quickly had Lady Hogwarts place a shield over the student body. She wasn't all that happy to allow these creatures in but he's asked so nicely. He planned on showing Fudge just who he was dealing with.
The six remaining dementors closed in on him. He smirked.
Prongs had a grand old time scaring away the buggers. Prancing around it tossed them around and gave a couple a good kicking. The dementors knew they were beat. All but one fled the scene, the remaining one backed into a corner.
With Prongs at the ready Harry approached the last one.
What happened next would go down in history.
'Hey buddy, want a hug?'
'Aww come on gimme a hug. You know you wanna'.
'I'll be your best friend'.
His joke backfired when he suddenly had an armful of sobbing, he thought it was sobbing, dementor. Prongs jerked towards him, before realising Harry wasn't in danger and faded away. The dementor was letting out wails and other such noises that Harry couldn't understand, but he was pretty sure the dementor was talking. And he'd be right. If he were able to understand dementor speech, he'd hear:
'You called me buddy! *sniff* No one's ever *sniff* called me buddy before! *sniff* No one's ever even *sniff* hugged me before! I just want a *sniff* friend! Everyone runs away *sniff* from me! I'll be your best buddy for ever and ever! *sniff* I won't steal your soul or *sniff* make it all cold! I'll be good *sniff* I promise!'
The entire school population stood in astonishment as Harry Potter, the Boy Who Lived, stood soothing a wailing creature of darkness.
It would appear that Potter manor would be having another house mate.
Fudge and the Aurors began to back away slowly until they reached the corridor, where they proceeded to run all the way to the gates and apparate to the ministry.
Arrest Harry Potter, not bloody likely!
Piper JulianArchived @:
Voldemort avoided death as a spirit for 13 years. Strangely, he couldn't avoid a bus. One Shot.Lady B's Observations:
Do not be reading or drinking anything when you read this. I laughed for 5 minutes straight while I was eating M&M's and nearly choked. My stomach is pleasantly sore. ^_^
Title: Rumor Has It
Summary: There are a lot of strange rumours floating around about Potter and Malfoy. Rated T for swearing and excessive references to cherries.
Archived @: Fanfiction.net
My observations: You know how it works; Person A tells Person B a secret then Person B tells Person C only Person B gets the words mixed up and by the time the secret reaches Person Z, the whole story has changed. Yeah, this is one of those. And it's funny. :-)
It's been quite some time since I rec'd a story. Came across this one in a fic rec community and gave it a read...it's pretty good!Title: Poison PenAuthor:
No pairings - Harry Potter, Albus Dumbledore, Filius Flitwick, Ragnok, The Goblins of Gringotts, et alRating:
Harry has had enough of seeing his reputation shredded in the Daily Prophet and decides to do something about it. Only he decides to embrace his Slytherin side to rectify matters.Status:
WIP with 25 chapters, last updated March, 26, 2010
Title: You Had Me From...
Author: La Nuit
Archived @: HPFandom.net
Status: WIP @ 7 Chapters, last update July, 5, 2009
Genre: Post-War, Romance, Humor, H/C
Summary: Post-war and a lot has changed at Hogwarts. The Golden Trio return for their seventh year and Harry learns just how very powerful words are...Lady B's Observations:
Harry doesn't think he's gay, especially gay for one Draco Malfoy, and he sets out to prove it...but the rest of the student body can clearly see that he is. The river of De Nile is long and paved with good intentions.
You'll definitely laugh at this one. Updates are slow but worth the wait.
Title: Broken Wings
Archived @: Fanfiction.net
Characters: Severus/Harry father/son relationship
Summary: Desperate to escape his guilt and nightmares after the third task,Harry transforms into a hawk by accident and ends up breaking both wings and suffering partial memory loss. He is found by Snape, who helps him and discovers the truth about his professor.
Status: WIP @ 6 chapters, last updated March 30, 2009 - updates once a week.
Lady B's notes: An animagus story with a twist. From what I've read so far, it's very good. And you must bear witness to a whiny, bitchy "Please don't tell daddy on me" Draco. It's amusing to watch.
Title: Harry's First Detention
and Harry's New HomeAuthor:
Severus takes Harry as his ward/adopted son.Rating:
Complete One-shotStatus HNH:
WIP@36 Chapters, updates frequentlySummary HFD:
Take one mistreated boy, one misinformed man, mix well and watch what happens.Summary HNH:
One lonely little boy. One snarky, grumpy git. When the safety of one was entrusted to the other, everyone knew this was not going to turn out well... Or was it?Author's Note:
This is a sequel to "Harry's First Detention" and makes reference to events in that story. If you haven't read it, this story may not make much sense... If you have read the story, then this sequel tells the tale of how Snape fulfilled the tasks Dumbledore assigned him. This story picks up only a few days after "Harry's First Detention".Lady B's Observation:
Each chapter is a lesson in laughter. I did read "Harry's First Detention" but in all honesty, you could probably skip it and still get an idea of what went on from the first chapter of "Harry's New Home". Bookmark it, because it's a wild and fun ride. Can Sev be my dad, too? Please?
Title: The Art of CommunicationAuthor: unbroken_haloPairing:
Severus straightens out Ron's perception of his and Harry's relationship.Disclaimer:
Harry Potter and company belong to JKR Rowling. This piece of fiction was written for entertainment purposes only and makes no monetary gain for the author.Warnings:
Written for ladybelz
for the lovely iconage. *smoochies* Thanks again, darling! Special thanks to the ladies in slash chat too, for the once over. *snuggles and gropes*
I made her an icon based on her last post/rant about a fic review and she made fic based on a prompt I gave her: Harry's defending Snape to his friends in the Great Hall during lunch or something and all the students and teachers hear him. Snape stands up, looks at Harry and with a sneer on his face says "Potter! Your cock, my arse. Tonight at 8. Be there!" and then he leaves the room, robes swirling. Go Read Now!
Anyone up for some seriously funny Ron-In-Denial-About-Harry-Being-Gay-And-I
Title: The Angry Dragon
Archived @: HPFandom.net
Genre: Romance, Humor/Parody, PWP
Characters: Harry/Draco, Hermione, Other, Pansy, Ron
Summary: Originally a one shot now a short story. In which Ron is inspired and sets Harry on a magazine provoked quest, Harry doesn't want to play but gets roped along anyway and Draco finds himself tempted, teased and tamed.
Warnings: Contains Slash Sex
Title: A Squib WorthAuthor:
Harry/Hermione (I know, right?)Rating:
Complete at 4 ChaptersSummary:
The day Harry Potter turned eleven was the day he would have re-entered the magical world. But the letter never came; Harry Potter was a Squib. Dismissed by the wizards, he makes a quiet life for himself and will not stand for them to ruin it.Why I am recommending it:
Now I really don't care for Harry/Hermione pairings, but the summary intrigued me and I wanted to see what it was all about. But Naia has managed to put a lifetime of Harry in 4 chapters. It's a Harry-is-betrayed with a twist for lack of a better word. It delves into exactly how prejudice wizards and witches are to those who have little/no magic, but yet when it's time for action on Harry's part, he refuses to co-operate, for why should he help wizards when those same wizards shunned him for most of his life? An intriguing story from beginning to end. And dude...I just read HET for pete's sake! You HAVE to read it now!
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And speaking of Harry-is-betrayed stories...Title: DawnAuthor:
Author is undecided on Harry at the mo, but there is Dramione and BlevilleRating:
WiP at 4 Chapters last updated January 5, 2009Summary:
A new dawn, a new day. In a now peaceful world, Harry Potter likes to watch the dawns. Battle weary and betrayed, he is finally enjoying life in the Muggle world. However the wizards haven't forgotten the Boy-who-lived and want him back.Why I am recommending it:
From the first paragraph in the first chapter, to the last word in the last updated chapter I was sucked in like a moth to a flame. This this the penultimate Harry is betrayed story, and by the people he least expected: Remus, Sirius, Hermione and Neville. I don't want to give too much away so you're just going to have to read it and add it to your alerts list.
And did you know the author is a 23 year old French woman in her 6th year of studies at medical school? And she finds time to write such intriguing stories? Yeah! I'm impressed!
It's that time of year where I rec the one Snarry Christmas fic that always makes me cry. I've rec'd this one every year since I've read it (3 years now).Title: The Truest Christmas WishAuthor:
A rewrite of a traditional Christmas story, Harry Potter style.
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And this one I've just recently read today...Title: Severus and the Sex-KittenAuthor: the_con_ceptPairing:
Snarry, Harry/OthersAuthor Summary:
Harry is a super-powered cat. No, really. I thought up lots of other summaries, but that’s pretty succinct and accurate. Only a bit cracky though, I promise!
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And a WiP I've been following...according to the author, there's one chapter and an epilogue left to post.Title: Ashes of ArmageddonAuthor:
Snarry (Dark!Harry, slave!Snape)Rating:
Post-DH, ignores epilogue, Violence, Adult Language, Sexual Situations, BDSM, Non-con (rape), Character Death, OOC-ness, Contains Slash SexStatus:
WiP at 68 Chapters; author says there's 1 chapter and an epilogue left to post. Story updates every few days.Summary: Book One:
What if Harry never had the King's Cross experience? Severus Snape survives Nagini's bite, and wakes up from a coma five years later, only to become enslaved by a very angry, vindictive, and extremely powerful Harry Potter. Book Two:
The war is truly over now, and both Harry and Severus Snape have survived the ordeal. But the consequences of the two months spent at Godric's Hollow are still with them.
Title: Double DutyAuthor: alisannePairing:
Severus Snape/Harry Potter/Draco MalfoyRating:
Severus discovers that the world can change in seven short years. Disclaimer: Harry Potter is © J. K. Rowling, Warner Brothers, Scholastic Books, Bloomsbury Books, and all other entities involved in the Potterverse.
I don't care what anybody else says, alisanne
is the Super Queen of our OT3
My SonAuthor: lilyseyesArchived @:
Severus and Harry.Summary:
Severus Snape finds a way to remove his small son from the care of the Dursleys.Rating:
WiP @ 5 chapters, last updated September 9, 2008
This is a Snape-Is-Harry's-father story and from what I've read so far, it's wonderful.
Title: FirstsAuthor: softly_sweetlyPairing:
I love all our firsts.Warnings:
Slash, OMG TEH FLUFF!!!!!, First!Personsoftly_sweetly
asked me for a prompt for my birthday. I told her I wanted something so damn fluffy it would make me cry buckets of tears. She accomplished it spectacularly!
Like I said earlier...BEST BIRTHDAY EVER!!!!!
Title: It's Good To Be SlytherinAuthor: enchanted_jaePairing:
Explicit sex, grudging consent, use of a toy (For purposes of this fic, characters engaged in sexual activity are over the age of 18.)Summary:
Draco Malfoy has come into possession of some rather sordid pictures of Harry Potter, which he uses as leverage to get Potter in his bed.
Yay for Slytherins!!!
Title: To Touch a UnicornAuthor:
Profanity, references to sex, heavy angst. DH Spoilers, but ignores epilogue. Possible rape referenced in the background, though it didn’t happen. Hurt/comfort.Summary:
Teaching at Hogwarts is more than Draco ever expected to aspire to after the war. He would be content if not for two things: Harry Potter visiting to give lectures on Defense Against the Dark Arts, and those bloody unicorns.
I'm slowly slogging my way through the final chapters of Star-Crossed. I'm hoping to have the whole thing finished before the end of the month.
And since it's been a while, I bring you a fic rec.Title: Of Thwarted PlansAuthor:
Harry and DracoRating:
Draco had a plan. A very good, solid plan. Trust Potter to thwart him.Warnings:
Voyeurism, wanking, possible chan? (they're still in school, I'm assuming they're 7th years), smexxingLady B's Observations: Harry is clearly clueless...but you'll see why as the story progresses.
Can you believe it's over?
Love...thy name is Wankfest.
Voting and reveals go up soon, and you definitely have to read the finale fic.
It's wrong but oh so hot.Title: A Glorious Day for a Hand Job
(Vincent Crabbe on the Hogwarts Express with the Hand of Glory)Artist:
Crabbe the YoungerLocation:
Hand of GloryOther Characters:
Vince Crabbe, with a splash of Goyle, Malfoy and PotterRating:
Wanking. Slytherins.There's also art to go with it! :D
Title: When Fate Steps In
Challenge: Team Dragon Entry for the 2008 snarry_games
Genre: Alternate Universe *Hover/Click for Games Definition of Alternate Universe*
Prompts: Trial, Kiss
Rating/Warnings/Kinks: Light R *Although Harry is seventeen during part of this fic, there is no underage sex*
Word Count: +/-20,000
Summary: Sometimes the best wishes are the ones that sneak up on you.I'll repeat what I left in my review: I always know a good story when I'm crying buckets at the end of it.
Harry/DracoSummary: Harry is about to enter his seventh year, and things are not quite what he expected. He is no longer the angry boy who watched his world fall apart at the end of his fifth year, but neither has he completely found his place yet. He is looking for something, and to his confusion it seems to have something to do with Draco Malfoy.This is one my absolute favorite stories. It also contains my favorite Draco quote as seen in my icon.
Title: Desperately Seeking Someone
NC17Summary: A personal ad brings out the best in our Harry.
This story came about when Alanna Fair saw an amusing personal ad that could have been written by Draco Malfoy himself. So her journal friends list demanded that she write fic for it and this was the result. You'll get a good laugh out of this fic, I know I did.
Title: A Part Of MeAuthor:
PG13 for violence and languageSummary:
Harry tries to adjust to his new life without Voldemort. But sometimes your past refuses to stay in the past.
This is a sequel to The Darkness Within
. There is a Harry/Ginny pairing but it doesn't detract from the actual plot of the story (and you guys know I don't often rec a het pairing). Author indicates that a third part is well on it's way to being completed.
Title: Running Poolside
SMUT, PWP, M/M Smex, Slash, nothing redeemable but smex...Get the picture?Summary:
Four men naked in a pool. What else do you need? Challenge #10: Write a fiction featuring the following grouping: Harry/Draco/Remus/Severus. TSS Contest #3 2nd Place winner! Pure smut.Lady B's notes:
She wrote my OT4!!!!!!!! I heart her to death!!
Title: The Darkness WithinAuthor:
PG13 for violence and languageSummary: What if Wormtail hadn't told Lord Voldemort the Potters hideout. What if he took Harry straight to him instead?
It's the cliched "Harry has a brother" story with a twist. His brother is 3 years younger than him and they meet 15 years later.
"The Care Of Infants
" by Perfica: A curse from Voldemort regresses Harry to infancy. Snape must protect him while the Order tries to find a way to reverse the spell.Why I'm recommending:
What's not to love about a six-month old chubby Harry Potter bouncing up and down and dancing to music. It got a laugh out of Severus. And the ending is so sweet, Severus nervous and unsure about their relationship. It's quite humbling to see such a strong man reduced to a nervous wreck about his feelings for Harry and vice versa.
Dammit - I need some Snarry icons!
Originally posted September.09.2006
I just spent the last 3 1/2 hours reacquainting myself with "Starts With A Spin" by Maxine (check Skyehawke.com).
It's one of those stories that never fails to make me laugh and cry at the same time.
If you haven't read it, please do...you'll simply fall in love with it and I bet over 1/2 of my friends list would agree with me.
Originally posted September.01.2006Title: RedemptionAuthor:
Fanfiction.netSummary: Harry Potter has spent six years in Azkaban. Now, Dumbledore, Black and Lupin are here to retrieve him, now certain of his innocence. Will they be too late to save Harry's sanity? And if so, what does this mean for the world? AU after year 4.Genre:
Whatever you do, do not be eating, drinking, or sniffing ANYTHING while reading this unless you want your pc/laptop to get an impromptu food/drink bath. Also, avoid rubbing your eyes unless you want to poke yourself. I laughed my ASS off during the whole thing.Warning #2:
This story should have taken me about 3 hours to read, instead it took me about 6 because Fanfiction.net's servers were doing some funky weird shit where you click to the next chapter and get some kind of "chapter not found" warning, causing you to go back to the previous page, wait 5 to 10 minutes for the server then click to the next chapter.
Originally Posted August.2007Title: Queen Takes KingAuthor: charlotteschaosArchived @:
On the chessboard of life, never underestimate the power of an angry queen.Lady B's observation:
I laughed my ass off. My favorite line: Harry's here, he's queer, get used to it!"
It's rare I rec two fics at the same time, but these are both wonderful stories.
"Harry Woke Up
" by taylorj828: Six years after Voldemort is destroyed, all his Death Eaters and followers are finally defeated, but at what price? Harry finds himself in an unknown place, missing more than just a few memories... and facing one of the most difficult challenges in his life. Blind!Harry/Deaf!DracoI have nothing to say about this one other than the fact that watching them struggle with their disabilities as well as a new-found friendship made my heart feel all warm and fuzzy.
" by oldenuf2nobetter: Ten years after a devastating accident costs Harry Potter the love of his life and leaves him with life altering injuries, he is asked to return to Hogwarts to help the child of an old friend, with the help of an old adversary.A really good Harry as a psychic (think Trelawney but with honest to goodness psychic abilities) story. This one kept me on the edge of my seat as I read it. At first I was a little leery of reading it because of the past Ron/Harry pairing but it didn't feel like a Ron/Harry story...Hermione was totally bitchy through it all which made me hate her more than I already do. Draco was a revelation...part old school Slytherin snark with a mix of Hufflepuff love and loyalty to Harry, it was fun to watch. I should warn you now...you will need tissues as you read it, especially when you reach the end.
I've just spent the last 4 hours re-reading one of my favorite stories from one of my favorite authors. If you haven't read it before or haven't read it in a while, I highly recommend it.Title: Come What MayAuthor: florida_minxiePairing:
Harry/Draco, Harry/Severus, Harry/Draco/Severus implied triadSummary:
Pushed into a corner Severus Snape handles it the only way he knows how… he kills Albus Dumbledore. Harry Potter returns to the castle determined to find the power to kill not only Voldemort but also the man who took his mentor away from him, Severus Snape. Instead, he overhears a damning conversation between two people he trusted. Finally using his innate Slytherin cunning, he digs deeper and finds not everything is as it appears.
Will it change his loyalties or just the way he fights?
Brings me to tears each time I read it.
I'm going to rec one of my own fics today, because I just got a positive review for it and I had to go back and read it myself. I should have realized that I shouldn't read one of my own crackfics with tea in my mouth...Title:
The World Has Officially Ended and Now We Are In HellAuthor:
Neville Longbottom/Trevor the Toad/Madame Pomfrey/Severus Snape/Albus Dumbledore/Minerva McGonagall/Ron Weasley/The Mimblus Mimbletonia (WTF???)Summary:
It was an accident! He swears on his Gran's life it was an accident!Rating:
R for language and other such craziness.Warnings:
Bestiality (blink and you'll miss it!), Severus insane, no DH spoilers
This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc.. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.Author's Note:
I place the blame solely on eeyore9990
for this act of depravity. Inspired by this post
- - -Go and read.