Something I started about a week ago...I couldn't help it.

Damn bunnies.

Title: The Virgin Harry
Chapter: 1/?
Author: Lady B
Pairing(s): Harry Potter/Draco Malfoy
Genre: Drama, Romance
Rating: Will be rated per chapter; this chapter - PG13
Warnings: M/M relationship, language, MPreg
Summary: Harry, along with Draco, is the victim of a prank gone wrong. And boy is it wrong on so many levels, the least of which is the fact that Harry's a virgin.
Disclaimer: All recognizable characters and plots from the Harry Potterverse belong to JK Rowling and various publishing companies and movie studios. I am not making any money from this. I am simply doing this for the fun of it. Any plot devices and original characters belong to me alone and are simply a figment of my imagination.
Author's Note: My take on the story of The Virgin Mary. This story has no religious connection other than the title.

- - -

It was a typical Monday morning for Harry Potter at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry: wake up, take a shower, get dressed, grab his books for class and head down to breakfast with his friends. Sit in his usual spot at Gryffindor table and dish himself up two slices of bacon, two tablespoons of scrambled eggs, two slices of buttered toast with strawberry jam and a tall glass of cold pumpkin juice. Discuss with Hermione whatever lies The Daily Prophet decided to print about him and watch her yell at Ron for not finishing his Transfiguration assignment.

But this day was about to become anything but typical. And it all started when Ravenclaw decided to start a food fight with the Slytherins.

Everyone watched this phenomenon occur, shocked that the Ravenclaws would dare such a thing. Even the teachers were stunned as food flew between the two houses.

Unseen by all, as distracted as they were, someone poured something into Harry's drink and mumbled a charm to activate the ingredients within before smoothly walking away.

McGonagall finally regained control, docking massive points from both Houses before breakfast resumed. Hermione noticed they didn't have much time to get to class and Harry drank down his juice in a rush and followed the rest of his classmates.

He didn't see the smirk that graced the face of the one who had doctored his juice.

He was unaware of the chaos that was about to visit his life.

- - -

He was in his third class of the day, Charms. He was lightly sweating and his stomach had been feeling funny since just before his Transfiguration class earlier that morning.

Professor Flitwick was showing them a common furniture moving charm and asked Harry to come to the front and demonstrate. Harry shakily got to his feet and moved to his teacher's side. He raised his wand and his whole arm began to shake.

"Hey, Potty! Nervous much?" shouted Draco from the back of the room.

"I-I don't feel so good." Harry mumbled as the room started to tilt from side to side.

"Harry, are you all right?" Flitwick asked.

"Uh...!" was all Harry could manage before he fell to the floor, unconscious.

- - -

As Harry is wont to do, he awoke quickly to the sound of arguing over his head. He opened one eye to take a peek and saw Professor McGonagall arguing with Madame Pomfrey, while both Professor Snape and Draco Malfoy (of all people) stood watching them. Draco had such a fierce scowl on his face, Harry wondered if someone pissed in his oatmeal and he snorted. He must of done so out loud for the arguing ceased and all eyes in the room where on him.

"Mr Potter, how do you feel?" Madame Pomfrey asked.

"A bit woozy, but okay. What happened?"

"Do you remember fainting in Charms?" Professor McGonagall asked. Harry nodded.

"What's going on? Am I sick?"

"That's an understatement." Draco muttered. "To think you had the audacity to do such a thing-"

"Quiet, Mr Malfoy." Snape stated. Draco clamped his mouth shut.

Harry was now quiet worried.

"Is something wrong with me?" he asked in a small voice. Poppy looked at him and sighed.

"Well, Mr Potter...it seems you have a somewhat rare condition."

"Am I going to die?" Harry began to panic. He'd already killed Voldemort for these people, what more could they want from him?

"No, Harry. Far from it. But you are going to have to watch yourself from now on."

"Why?"

"Well...it seems...that...you're pregnant." Professor McGonagall stated.

The room went dead silent. Someone choked on what sounded like laughter until Harry realized it was him that made the sound.

"This is a joke right? Fred and George put you up to this, didn't they? Because I could have sworn I just heard you say I was pregnant." Harry laughed. No one joined in and his laughter changed into a somewhat panicked snort. "Men can't get pregnant. You're taking the piss, right?"

"I'm afraid it's true, Potter." Severus replied.

"No. You're lying! I can't be pregnant! I just can't!" Harry shouted.

"Harry, calm down please!" Minerva pleaded. Harry got to his feet, trembling in shock and rage.

"NO! I WILL NOT CALM DOWN! HOW CAN I BE PREGNANT? I'M A GUY FOR FUCK'S SAKE! AND LET'S NOT FORGET THE FACT THAT I'M A VIRGIN!" Harry shouted. That stunned everyone around him.

"What?" Severus gaped. Harry had never seen the man lookin so shocked. It made him want to laugh again but he held it in because he was afraid if he started laughing, he'd never stop.

"I. Am. A. Virgin." Harry repeated slowly.

Minerva looked at Poppy.

"How is that even possible?"

"I don't know." Poppy raised her wand and said spell that turned the area around Harry a pure white. "Merlin! He is a virgin!" she exclaimed.

"That doesn't explain how Mr Malfoy ended up being the baby's father." Severus wondered. Harry's eyes widened and he looked at Draco.

"She did a paternity spell while you were blacked out." Draco shrugged. That was too much information for Harry to take. He started laughing, falling to the floor because his legs could no longer support him. His laughter gave way to tears and he hid his face against his arm, trying to regain control of his emotions.

Not only was he pregnant, but Draco Bloody Malfoy was the baby's father. And then there was the fact that Harry had never had sex in his life.

"What a wonderful life you're having, Harry Potter." he chuckled as more tears streamed down his cheeks.