Originally posted 06.25.2006

Title: Misadventures of the Muggle Kind
Author: Lady B
Genre: 100% Total AU Crack!
Word Count: 453 words, give or take
Pairing: Harry and some vaguely mentioned blonde.
Summary: It's Sunday, it's Family Day, and someone wants to play a Muggle board game...
Author Note: I had the insane urge to write this, the bunny wouldn't leave me alone. This is for the AWDT prompt of “It's your turn; here's the dice.” And I actually got it under 500 words this time! Go me!
Disclaimer: I own 4 HP dvd movies and none of the books. JKR owns everything else. Although Tri-Star Pictures might have a say about some of this.


- - -

"..."

*pointed look*

"Don't look at me like that. I refuse to do it."

"It won't go away unless you do."

"It's your bloody fault it's there in the first place!'

"Don't blame your insane curiosity streak on me, Malfoy! I told you what would happen and you didn't listen. As usual!"

"..."

"Well?"

"No."

"Bloody fucking hell, Malfoy! Just do it already!"

"I'm not going to do it if all you're going to do is yell." the blonde pouted. The dark haired man sighed and fisted his hands in his hair in frustration.

"I'm sorry for yelling."

"You are not! Don't coddle me. I'm old enough to know the difference between an apology and sarcasm."

"Malfoy, I humbly ask for you forgiveness during this most traumatic time in your life."

"..."

"Is that better?"

"Much."

"So can we do this now?" another voice piped in.

"Don't look at me, he's the one who stopped."

*another pointed look*

"What?" the blonde demanded.

"It's your turn; here's the dice."

"Oh fine!" the blonde grumbled, throwing the dice into the center of the room. It landed on 7 and they watched the piece representing the roller move around the board.

Harry turned to look at Draco.

"This is the last time you let Lucius play with muggle games enchanted with magic." he whispered.

"How was I to know he got taken in with that 'Jumanji' movie?" Draco hissed.

"Well now he has a monkey trying to pick lice from his hair!" Harry frowned, turning to stare at the monkey in question. Draco looked at his father, who was scowling at the insane creature that had been conjured from the game on his last turn.

"I should take a picture of that for your wedding album." Draco snickered. Harry turned to look at his husband, trying and failing to contain the small laugh that erupted from his lips.

"I fail to see why this is so bloody amusing to you both." Lucius drew himself to his full height and scowled.

"..."

"..."

"Oh bloody buggering hell!" Lucius scowled, drawing his wand. He pointed it to the simian in his hair and whispered the Killing Curse. When the smoke cleared, there was now a male razorback gorilla shoving his tongue into the elder Malfoy's ear and rubbing himself against Lucius's thigh.

Both Harry and Draco lost it and had to duck and cover when Lucius tried to hex them both.

All in all, it was a perfect Sunday for Harry spending it with both his life-partner (Draco) and his soul-bonded (Lucius).

Now if Lucius would just stop his sudden insane obsession with all things muggle...

~Fin