InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "Get ALL the marmalade off"

Fred Burkle (brillianttexan) wrote in dark_will,
@ 2008-01-16 10:09:00

Current mood:

confused

Fred did as Rupert instructed and closed her eyes. She didn't look around the room so she could memorize what she could've had. Getting what you always wanted, only to have it torn away was hard. And it hurt to know she would never get it back. Fred knew she would never experience any of this again, unless she turned her back on Rupert and walked out of his life. But she didn't know if that was possible.

There was a tug and the hair on her arms prickled. Soon she heard Rupert's voice and could feel the surface of a bed underneath her. Fred opened her eyes but refused to look at him. Instead, she looked around the bedroom. It was so different from the one she'd just been in; it wasn't warm or inviting. The walls held no pictures of a happy family and the room seemed dank and dark compared to the other one. The bed even felt cold.

She pushed herself up to a sitting position, her eyes never falling upon Rupert. The door opened and a woman came in, Fred studied her for a long moment, wondering who she was.

"Are you all right, Fred?" the woman asked.

Fred's lips twitched a little and she almost felt like laughing. It was a loaded question with a long answer but she decided not to bore them with the details. "No," she finally answered. The woman moved closer and went to touch Fred's arm. "Don't touch me."

Without saying another word, or looking at Rupert, Fred slipped out of the of bed and left the room. She made her way down the stairs and to the main part of the penthouse. Fred stood there and looked at the decor of the room. It was so neat and straight. The coffee table had sharp edges and there were knickknacks on the bottom shelves. Certainly not a place for children. It was too cold and empty there to have a child.

Maybe Rupert had brought out darkness in her but she was still Fred. She was still the girl who'd dreamed of having a family. Fred knew he didn't want that and she was all right with it until now. It hurt because she had always promised herself she would never give up her dreams unless it was necessary. Was being with Rupert a good enough reason?

The silence of the room was broken when Brahms suddenly meowed. Fred looked down at him as the cat rubbed against her legs and purred. She let out a small laugh at the irony of the situation. A cat would be the closest thing she ever got to a child, even then she practically had to beg Rupert to let her keep it. It was becoming clear to Fred that the man she was with had serious control issues - it seemed Rupert didn't like what he couldn't control.

Fred picked up Brahms and carried him to the couch. Sitting down, she cradled him close and looked toward the stairs. She couldn't help but to wonder if Rupert only wanted her because he thought she was easy to control. Maybe their relationship was more about control than it was about love and compromise.

Suddenly, Fred wished she was at home in Texas and not there.

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r_giles
2008-01-16 10:30 pm UTC (link)

He'd lost her.

As soon as Fred woke up, Rupert knew. What Ethan had done had destroyed them. The bastard had shown her something that there was no possible way for him to give her - he'd been in this world for too long and he knew too much. His place was now and always would be in the darkness, and there was no escape, no leaving.

At least not for him.

He felt his heart begin to ache when Fred shied away from Cindel and left the room, not even looking at him. "Thank you for your help," he said softly.

"Is there anything more I can do?" she asked.

"No. You saved Fred's life. I don't think I can ever begin to repay you for that."

Rising from the bed, he walked downstairs with Cindel, who then quietly slipped past where Fred was sitting on the couch and left the penthouse. Rupert stood there, staring at Fred, not sure what to do now. He wanted to reach out to her, take her in her arms and just hold her, but he couldn't move as a realization hit him.

Ethan had poisoned her, but he'd been the one to allow her to come into this life. He was the one that had killed any chance she had of a life like the one she had in that dreamworld. He's destroyed her.

Why had he ever thought that he could maintain a relationship with anyone?

"I'm sorry," he finally said. "For what Ethan did to you and what I've done to you. I should never have..." He paused, the ache in his chest becoming stronger as he blinked back tears. "I love you, Fred. But if...if you feel...I understand if you can't stay with me any longer. You deserve to be happy and have everything you want even if I can't give it to you."

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brillianttexan
2008-01-16 11:05 pm UTC (link)

As Fred sat, holding Brahms in her arms, she stared at his fur. The black and white coloring spotted over him, giving space to each other and blending in certain spots. It was a masterpiece of compromise. The black covered some of him, while the white covered the rest. Together the colors made a beautiful pattern over the cat's body. Two very different colors compromising in order to fill the same space.

If nature could compromise to give Brahms his coloring, why couldn't she compromise with Rupert and vice versa.

True, they had never discussed the future. There were no talks about children or houses or marriage. Deep down, Fred knew she would never get those things from Rupert. She knew from the moment she stepped foot into the penthouse and he claimed her as his own. Yet, it didn't stop the pain she was feeling; the ache of knowing she would have to leave the only man she had ever really loved if she wanted the things she dreamt of.

Turning her head, Fred looked at Rupert for a long moment before turning her attention back to Brahms fur. "The thought has always been there. I've thought about it so many times over the past months. But they were just thoughts... things to occupy myself with as I sat in the office with nothing to do. But now..." She thickly swallowed as a rush of emotions flooded her body. "I've seen what I can't have and it's hard. I grew up with the notion I'd marry someday and have children."

She turned her head to look at him again, tears shining in her eyes. "Why do I have to leave? Why can't you compromise for once in your life? I love you so much and it'll kill me if I leave. Why can't you just allow someone else in your life to have control sometimes? Everyone around you has to fall into line with what you want, Rupert!" Fred said. She blinked her eyes and tears slipped down her cheeks. "We can't go back to the way we were. We can try but this is always going to be there. The only options I see is either you compromise a little or I leave."