Aww, I love this! You've really got into the minds of these anxious, confused teenagers.
The way Lily happily sums up her day: "Her favourite marmalade was served for breakfast. She managed to get Severus to smile. James was actually funny today." and then the "Oh, bugger" when she realises the bigger picture was great! And Snape's amazement right at the beginning, when he can't stop thinking about Lily and that kiss! I loved his repetition of "she had kissed him" so believable, so sweet! Thank goodness that Lupin used all his Gryffindor courage and managed to put an end to these awkward misunderstandings. :)