LJ-SEC: (ORIGINALLY POSTED BY lupie_stardust)

This made me laugh.

Especially this bit:

"These condoms are real, quality condoms. Quantity discounts apply! We are proud to ship free within the God-blessed USA! (and at reasonable rates to other places God also loves)."

:D

LJ-SEC: (ORIGINALLY POSTED BY nebris)

LJ-SEC: (ORIGINALLY POSTED BY legless123)

One of the sites I visit is B3ta.com and, this week, they have an image competition about Creationism so I thought you lot might be interested.

http://b3ta.com/challenge/creationism/popular/

In my opinion, this is the best one....







Mods? If this isn't in the spirit of this community please feel free to delete.

Cheers

Legless

LJ-SEC: (ORIGINALLY POSTED BY mysticknyght)

...well, it's morning here, at least.

Jack T. Chick Parody Archive

I went to a Catholic high school that was just down the street from a very aggressive Evangelical church.  They'd stand on the street corner between school and the bus stop and give us Chick tracts every few weeks.  Ah, what fun memories.

Some of these are better than others, but they're all in the proper spirit.

LJ-SEC: (ORIGINALLY POSTED BY docjeff)


Originally seen here but the site seems to have been suspended.

10 - You vigorously deny the existence of thousands of gods claimed by other religions, but feel outraged when someone denies the existence of yours.

09 - You feel insulted and "dehumanized" when scientists say that people evolved from other life forms, but you have no problem with the Biblical claim that we were created from dirt.

08 - You laugh at polytheists, but you have no problem believing in a Triune God.

07 - Your face turns purple when you hear of the "atrocities" attributed to Allah, but you don't even flinch when hearing about how God/Jehovah slaughtered all the babies of Egypt in "Exodus" and ordered the elimination of entire ethnic groups in "Joshua" including women, children, and trees!

06 - You laugh at Hindu beliefs that deify humans, and Greek claims about gods sleeping with women, but you have no problem believing that the Holy Spirit impregnated Mary, who then gave birth to a man-god who got killed, came back to life and then ascended into the sky.

05 - You are willing to spend your life looking for little loopholes in the scientifically established age of Earth (few billion years), but you find nothing wrong with believing dates recorded by Bronze Age tribesmen sitting in their tents and guessing that Earth is a few generations old.

04 - You believe that the entire population of this planet with the exception of those who share your beliefs -- though excluding those in all rival sects - will spend Eternity in an infinite Hell of Suffering. And yet consider your religion the most "tolerant" and "loving."

03 - While modern science, history, geology, biology, and physics have failed to convince you otherwise, some idiot rolling around on the floor speaking in "tongues" may be all the evidence you need to "prove" Christianity.

02 - You define 0.01% as a "high success rate" when it comes to answered prayers. You consider that to be evidence that prayer works. And you think that the remaining 99.99% FAILURE was simply the will of God.

01 - You actually know a lot less than many atheists and agnostics do about the Bible, Christianity, and church history - but still call yourself a Christian.



The last one is the one which I find most interesting. When the Jehovah's Witnesses come to my door, or the Mormons or the Baptists … they all find it distinctly queer that I, a non-Christian [no I won't say Atheist], know more about their holy book(s) than they do themselves. Indeed, I can count a whole slew of times when I've pointed out something in their scriptures which a) confuses them and b) they didn't realise was in there. For the more adept proselytizers (i.e. the ones online), I've always found that linking them to The Skeptic's Annotated Bible will nearly always get them out of my hair, so to speak.

Relying on the words in a book (or books) as your whole philosophy on life and not knowing all those words seems a bit of a puzzlement to me. Just once, and this IS meant facetiously, I would like to see even one person stick to all the rules in Leviticus for a year. In my mind, I see them either dying or in such bad shape that they need hospitalization.

I remember Dolly Parton was giving an interview once. She was talking about a time in her life when she was especially low and was seriously considering suicide. She said that she wanted to read the bible, cover to cover, as one of her last acts on Earth. After doing so, she somehow found the will to go on. I doubt it was the bible in and of itself that was responsible. But the point is that she did what a lot of Christians haven't and that's read it. She said it took her two months and change. A little each day was her method. She also chose the hardest translation to read - the King James Version.

So why don't they read it? More specifically, why do they nearly always quote it out of context?

LJ-SEC: (ORIGINALLY POSTED BY navytron89)

Found this and was made by 

jinwicked

I'm going to Hell, so you don't have to...

Feel free to play or vist here website for more interesting things: Crap I Drew on My LunchBreak!

LJ-SEC: (ORIGINALLY POSTED BY navytron89)

Here's even the follow up from the other day......

http://www.homeonthestrange.com/view.php?ID=212

LJ-SEC: (ORIGINALLY POSTED BY broodingferret)



Snagged from oletheros

LJ-SEC: (ORIGINALLY POSTED BY nebris)

Late Night Christian Shows

LJ-SEC: (ORIGINALLY POSTED BY lupie_stardust)

So, you're a Fundamentalist Christian, and nothing gives you a boner faster than spanking girls' bottoms. BUT! BDSM is a clearly Un-Christian practice! So what do you do?

You rebrand it "Christian Domestic Discipline" and get spanking, of course!

From the site:

What is Christian Domestic Discipline?

A domestic discipline marriage is one in which one partner in the marriage is given authority over the other and has the means to back the authority, usually by spanking.

A Christian Domestic Discipline marriage is one that is set up according to Biblical standards; that is, the husband is the authority in the household. The wife is submissive to her husband as is fit in the Lord and her husband loves her as himself. He has the ultimate authority in his household, but it is tempered with the knowledge that he must answer to God for his actions and decisions. He has the authority to spank his wife for punishment, but in real CDD marriages this is taken very seriously and usually happens only rarely. CDD is so much more than just spanking. It is the husband loving the wife enough to guide and teach her, and the wife loving the husband enough to follow his leadership. A Christian marriage embodies true romance and a Christian man a true hero. (Boldening my own)

"...A Christian man a true hero."

And...

"Eroticism:

Though we recognize by its very nature this subject can be erotic, we will keep this website as clean and wholesome as possible. However, we will not seek to deny the erotic nature of some CDD marriages as we believe it is a natural consequence of following God's plan. After all, He created eroticism to be enjoyed inside a Christian marriage."

Now, I have nothing against BDSM, as a seasoned practitioner myself - but this worries me a little. "Wives have no right to beat their husbands" - doesn't seem very fair to me.
What's there to stop someone using this "CDD" as an excuse to beat their "submissive" wives in the name of the Lord?

LJ-SEC: (ORIGINALLY POSTED BY berkeleyfarm)

As has been noted in comments on nebris's recent post here, the idea that the Christian Right is whupped is wishful thinking. Wallis *is* being a bit optimistic, even though "the wind is changing" (if you've heard him speak or read "God's Politics", he urges us to "change the wind" in the direction of compassion). Recent history should show that the backchannel organizations are pretty strong, and will also not be bothered by the truth in their efforts to get their own way.

As one example, here is one effort by one of the "patriot pastor" dominionist wingnuts. As a Christian I don't have an objection to the "no king but King Jesus" part per se, but the idea of conflating church and state doesn't follow on from this.

I wish these folks wouldn't cherry-pick US history, much like they cherry-pick the Bible, to support their heresies. What is Caesar is not of God. Jesus did not come on earth to establish a political kingdom, which surprised folks at the time because that's what they were expecting out of a Messiah. And the Baptist/AoG/"independent Bible church" wingnuts who call on the name of the Founding Fathers' original intent in their desire to establish a state religion would have been fined or thrown in the stocks in the Virginia colony pre-independence ... the state religion there was Anglican and Anabaptists weren't well recieved. Not only was the religion clause of the First Amendment a way to keep all the different competing religious interests in the Original 13 happy, Jefferson had seen the results and didn't like them.

If y'all need some humor after this, and haven't seen the "Ted Haggard Is Completely Heterosexual" folk song video, Charlotte Bob says check it out.

Tip of the hat to Shakesville for both of these.

LJ-SEC: (ORIGINALLY POSTED BY lunalelle)

Before everyone continues the craziness of closeted Donnie Davies and his overt fundie homophobia, I suppose it's important for everyone to know that he's been 'outed' as Dallas-based actor Joey Oglesby, an ex-member of a troop of comedians that specializes in a "comedy stew of dance, homophobic/gay experimentation, male chauvinism, obscure racism, and spiritual revelation."

LJ-SEC: (ORIGINALLY POSTED BY berkeleyfarm)

D_C readers may recall the flap that hit the news when Sea-Tac airport (run by the Port of Seattle) decided to ditch the usual Christmas tree decorations and put up a menorah instead in fulfillment of a rabbi's request for a little "equal opportunity".

All the usual "ZOMG IT'S A WAR ON CHRISTMAS!1!" suspects were out in force. The Port quickly reversed itself and the Christmas trees came back to keep the new menorah company.

I visited a friend of mine in Seattle last weekend and she asked if I had heard the story. "Sure, it was all over the news." She then proceeded to tell me that a long-term friend of hers works at Seatac and that the real reason they were so eager to ditch the Christmas trees was not some animosity towards Christians or Christmas (yeah, we know the trees are really pagan ;)), but because they were ugly and tacky and not well liked by the staff. "I bet you didn't hear *that* on the news." Of course we wouldn't, because that doesn't fit with certain very loud screamers' political agendas.

But I thought y'all might want to know. In case anyone starts fuming about it in your direction, you have The Truth.

As an extra, the fabulous dtaylor pointed me towards Fundies Say The Darndest Things!. Pure comedy gold, and a good place to report Silly Fundie Tricks that aren't specifically dominionist ;).

LJ-SEC: (ORIGINALLY POSTED BY deadgirl4life)

Just thought I'd direct attention to an article over in The Wild Hunt.

LJ-SEC: (ORIGINALLY POSTED BY nebris)

..and I'll keep my penis off of you

LJ-SEC: (ORIGINALLY POSTED BY amethyst_hunter)

An 'update' from the Robertson Weather Channel...!

1 2 3 4 5 6

LJ-SEC: (ORIGINALLY POSTED BY sunfell)

holyoffice has decided to clear up, once and for all, the various misconceptions and mixups in the world of Christianity.

A small sample:

Rapture
This was a #1 hit in 1980 for Blondie (#5 in the UK), from the otherwise underwhelming "Autoamerican" album. Many Christians now concede that the then-pioneering use of rap in the song sounds a little lame in retrospect. In their best-selling series of books about the song, "Left Behind (Parallel Lines)," Jerry Jenkins and Tim LaHaye defend the rap verse's hip references to Grandmaster Flash and Fab Five Freddy, and maintain that when Jesus returns, all believers will be united in accepting that Blondie's cover of "The Tide Is High" is better than the original.

The Pope
The Pope is the President of Christianity. He is elected every four years by the Congress of Cardinals, which is divided into the Senate and the Holy House of Representatives. As president, the pope can veto important pieces of legislation, which he tends to do. The pope is also magical, and cannot be seen with the naked eye except for one hour on Christmas Eve every year.

LJ-SEC: (ORIGINALLY POSTED BY wyldraven)

Apparently, Bill O'Reilly is at it again.

Easter axed, clearing way for All Soulless Day

I got the Easter cancellation news straight from the horse’s patoot. Bill O’Reilly has been addressing this important issue on his helpful and extremely patriotic television and radio shows for the better part of a month now. Other topics have included the illegal immigration crisis, the war in Iraq and Why Bill O’Reilly is the Smartest Being in the Known Universe.

LJ-SEC: (ORIGINALLY POSTED BY sunfell)

I needed a good laugh today. So do you.

LJ-SEC: (ORIGINALLY POSTED BY ns_kumiho)

Unfortunately the general population is lazy and evil and secular, whereas the power base feeding the current administration tends to be zealous religious folks who want God to be President and Jesus to be Vice-President and believe the apocalypse is right around the corner. I am lazy and evil and secular and I also believe the apocalypse is right around the corner, mostly because of zealous religious folks influencing government, if not running it. I just want religion and politics to be as far apart as possible, because mixing the two inevitably results in insanity and trouble. On the plus side, I kind of hope they do succeed, because I honestly can't imagine having to pay back student loans in a post-apocalyptic environment where every day is a fight for survival.

...

In South Dakota, abortion has pretty much been outlawed because God or somebody else not doing anything to help matters frowns upon it. This angers me to no end because now my simple dream of moving there and opening a small abortion clinic/corn palace/reptile garden/drug store is impossible and illegal.

...

If all the aforementioned starving children of the world would just end up in a permanent vegetative state and go on feeding tubes or climb inside the womb of an unfit teenage girl, they would be loved and cherished by millions of people. This is of course as long as those people do not have to take any actual responsibility or action aside from standing outside of some building and yelping a lot. There is always time for that, because that's doing the Lord's work. Everyone else can take care of themselves.

Something Awful - Progress Report (on America).

Mark Twain is smiling somewhere...