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noah braxton ([info]noahbraxton) wrote in [info]dalton_rpg,
@ 2011-01-07 02:01:00

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Entry tags:! thread, @ character: benjamin montague, @ character: noah braxton, status: complete

Who: Ben M and Noah
What: Intervention, Noah Braxton style.
Where: Leaving the pool after practice.
When: Thursday, January 6th.
Rating: SFW.

Post-practice, Noah's legs were feeling a bit like jelly - despite what their coach had told them, he hadn't exactly done much exercising over Christmas break and the first session back in the pool took a load out of him. He was just thankful it was over. He quickly towel-dried and changed in the locker room and then, like usual, waited for Ben just outside the door so they could head back together. They hadn't really had the chance to properly catch up, so this time was nice.

"So," Noah said, slinging his bag over his shoulder. "I still haven't gotten the really juicy information yet. How were things on the other side of the world?"



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[info]benjamming
2011-01-07 07:28 am UTC (link)
Unlike Noah, Ben had tried his best to keep up with swimming during the break. He had an advantage of course, seeing as his grandparents had a pool at their house. He probably could have practiced more than he had though, but he was feeling good by the time all of them left the pool that night. As usual, he'd taken longer than Noah to get changed (seeing as he liked to fuss about with his hair before he was satisfied with leaving), but he tried his best not to take too long.

Once he was next to Noah and the pair of them had begun walking, Ben grinned slightly at the question. Truthfully, he'd had the best break ever. True, there were several low points, what with his and Blaine's argument and the appearance of his father. Other than that though, things were perfect.

"Oh, you know," he replied, turning his head to look at his friend, "It was pretty amazing."

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[info]noahbraxton
2011-01-07 08:35 am UTC (link)
"Pretty amazing," Noah repeated in a singsong voice, digging his elbow into Ben's hip in a playfully mocking way. He already could've guessed that he'd had an amazing break. London and Blaine and New Year's Eve... it was kind of hard to go wrong there.

"And why was it pretty amazing? Hmm?"

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[info]benjamming
2011-01-07 08:58 am UTC (link)
Ben was sure that his cheeks were beginning to blush, a sappy expression on his face. The truth of the matter was that he had returned from London with Blaine even more infatuated with the other boy, mostly due to their spectacular kiss at midnight to ring in the new year.

"Because it was just us." That was the main reason. "I don't know. It felt amazing. Just having him to myself for a while, not having to share. It was sort of like I imagine it to be if things were different and he loved me, you know?" Ben was aware that his voice had trailed off into little more than a whisper at that, and he awkwardly rubbed the back of his neck.

"We had this amazing kiss at midnight. It was one of those movie kisses, you know? Then we pulled away from each other and just looked at one another, and everything was perfect."

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[info]noahbraxton
2011-01-07 09:15 am UTC (link)
Noah was going to throw up. Seriously. Actual bile in his throat. Movie kisses? Perfection? Oh God. So he'd known Ben was in over his head. He'd known that for a while now, but he'd never really said anything, because unrequited affection was a bitch and a half and he was all about protecting his best friend's feelings. But there was a line. There was a line, and sometime over the past two weeks, Ben had very clearly crossed it.

For a second, Noah didn't say anything. He stared at Ben and bit his tongue but, well, something needed to be done here. "Okay, Ben... I'm going to need you to come with me." And without allowing time for questions, he grabbed Ben by the hand and dragged him towards the nearest entrance - which happened to be an empty math classroom, just beyond the sidewalk. They could have privacy there. This would do.

He flicked on the lights, closed the door, and pointed to the nearest desk. "Sit," he commanded. This was very serious business.

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[info]benjamming
2011-01-07 09:22 am UTC (link)
Ben looked up rather suddenly as Noah held onto his hand. Looking at the other boy curiously, he followed him. Unsure of why Noah had just sounded like a cop about to pull someone in for questioning, he frowned at where he'd been taken. Arching an eyebrow, he pulled his hand away from Noah before sitting on top of the nearest desk and looking at his friend intently.

"Once you're done ordering me about," he said, a slightly uneasy smile on his face. "What are we doing in here?"

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[info]noahbraxton
2011-01-07 09:41 am UTC (link)
Noah considered dragging a chair forward and sitting down too, but decided against it. He'd probably need to stand for this. He just wasn't entirely sure how to go about saying everything that he wanted to say without sounding like an asshole. Or hurting Ben. That was the last thing he wanted to do.

"Ben..." He hesitated, thinking it over. Better start safe. "You know I love you, right?"

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[info]benjamming
2011-01-07 09:45 am UTC (link)
That didn't sound good at all. Moving one of his legs underneath him, he propped his elbows on his thighs before looking straight at Noah.

"Of course I do," he replied plainly, wondering where on earth this was going.

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[info]noahbraxton
2011-01-07 09:51 am UTC (link)
"And because I love you, and because I care about your well-being, I'm obligated to tell you the truth, even when the truth sucks ass, right? Because if your best friends can't tell you, then who can?" He just had to make sure they were on the same page here, okay.

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[info]benjamming
2011-01-07 09:53 am UTC (link)
With a questioning look, Ben nodded slowly. "Right, you can tell me the truth whenever." If Noah hadn't already told him that he was sleeping with Colby, he might have suspected that this was Noah's coming out speech. Really, what else could it have been?

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[info]noahbraxton
2011-01-07 10:06 am UTC (link)
Noah's expression softened so that he was completely serious now. Saying this was actually harder than he'd anticipated, but probably only because Ben's face was right there. "Look, Benny," he started, biting down on his lower lip for a second. He needed to be blunt. "I get that you have a crush on Blaine - more than a crush. And I get why. I understand what you see in him and why he's so special to you, but lately - especially lately... it's not healthy. You can't keep pretending. Blaine's not that kind of guy or maybe he's just not looking for that sort of relationship right now and I don't think you actually realize that. Or maybe you do and you're just ignoring it. But either way... and I mean this in the nicest way possible... you've got to move on, Ben. You know?"

He peeked up at Ben's expression, hoping he'd gotten his point across without going too far. It was a fine line.

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[info]benjamming
2011-01-07 10:18 am UTC (link)
Ben should have been expecting something like that. He knew that Noah was just looking out for him or whatever, but he couldn't help but feel put out that everyone seemed to want to drag him back down from cloud nine. What was so wrong with being up there? He was already more than aware of what would and wouldn't happen, so why did people feel the need to treat him like some fragile object that was about to shatter whenever it came to Blaine?

"I know nothing is going to happen," he said bitterly, holding eye contact with Noah for a moment before scoffing and shaking his head. Turning his gaze away, he continued, "What do you mean anyway? Especially lately? I haven't changed and nor has the situation."

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[info]noahbraxton
2011-01-07 10:32 am UTC (link)
"If you know nothing's going to happen, then why do you keep torturing yourself?" he asked, his voice a touch quieter than before. That was something Noah had never understood. And he wasn't going to drop the subject, now that they were here, just because Ben didn't exactly look thrilled with it. "You're too good to just... settle for whatever he's offering. You deserve more than that."

He looked at Ben for a second, not caring if he'd refuse to meet his eyes. "The situation might not have changed lately but you have. You're... a lot deeper than you were two months ago, whether you realize it or not. Did you hear yourself five minutes ago? What with the pretending he loved you back and the... the not-sharing..."

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[info]benjamming
2011-01-07 11:01 am UTC (link)
Although he didn't want to, Ben listened. He heard what Noah said about apparently being too good for Blaine, and that he'd changed. How could he have changed and not realised it? He thought he knew himself pretty well, so how could other people notice a shift in his attitude when he couldn't? Had he really become so out of sync with himself that he hadn't even noticed?

It was a fanciful dream, he knew that. Blaine would never love him, not really. Not in the way he wanted anyway. He wasn't that sort of person. He had too much love for everyone, too much to pass around. Plus, why would he love Ben? He was a wreck of a person. Sure, he seemed perfect to everybody else. But inside? Flaw after flaw, stacked up and hidden away from everyone save Ben himself. Except Blaine could probably see them, which was why he would never love Ben back. We accept the love we think we deserve.

"I'd rather settle for what he's offering than not have anything at all."

That's what it all boiled down to at the end. Ben was afraid of rejection and of being alone. Sure, his other friends could stand there and tell him that he was being stupid and that Blaine wasn't worth it. But they didn't understand.

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[info]noahbraxton
2011-01-07 11:26 am UTC (link)
Noah shook his head, willing himself not to get overly frustrated. He didn't get it. Ben wasn't stupid. Sure, he knew how hard Ben was on himself, but did he honestly not realize how awesome he was?

"Ben, listen to me," he said, voice measured but firm, because he needed to be understood. He didn't like playing the bad guy, but when it came to your closest friends, sometimes that was necessary, right? "I love you, you know that, but that's the dumbest thing I've ever heard. You're selling your self-worth for nothing. Do you not realize how much bullshit that is? You are once again putting way too much weigh on what Blaine thinks about you, or how he feels about you. You can't live off the affection you get from a guy that he only gives when it's convenient. You just can't."

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[info]benjamming
2011-01-07 11:40 am UTC (link)
As Noah spoke, Ben stared sightlessly at his thumbnails. His hands were now laced together on his lap, the nails of his right hand digging painfully into the back of his left. He wasn't paying much attention to that though. He was just letting Noah's words buzz around his brain, mixing in with his own self-doubt.

Ben wanted to leave, to stand up and just walk out. He wasn't sure he could move though. In that moment, he wanted to say a dozen different things. That Noah didn't know what he was talking about, or that it was his own fault for not being the sort of person that Blaine wanted. But deep down, he knew that Noah was right. He'd always knows really. But he didn't want to think about it because he was afraid of what would happen after true realisation dawned.

Closing his eyes, Ben felt the stinging in the corners before it was visible. He took a few deep breaths, trying not to make it obvious. He didn't want Noah to see him get upset like this, over something so utterly pointless. Coming across as weak wasn't something he aspired to do. Moving one hand up to casually brush against his eye, he bit the inside of his cheek as a drop fell onto the knee of his jeans. Hastily moving his arm to cover it, he turned his head away and hoped that Noah wouldn't notice.

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[info]noahbraxton
2011-01-07 12:15 pm UTC (link)
Noah did notice, but only because he was so intently focused on watching Ben's expression that it was kind of obvious when a teardrop fell. Aw, fuck. With any other guy, Noah might've looked away and pretended he didn't see anything. But this wasn't any other guy. This was Ben, his best friend, and without any sort of hesitation he grabbed him by the shirt and pulled him in for a hug.

"I'm sorry," he said quietly, because even if he'd meant every word he'd said, he hadn't originally intended for it to come out so harsh. But if it was what it took to get Ben to listen, then really, he wasn't that sorry after all. "What you said, though, about you rather having that over nothing... I hope you realize that you don't have to choose between one or the other. Because Blaine is not the only guy in the world. There are other guys out there, guys that aren't going to take you for granted, guys who could be willing to love you in every sort of way, not just - when it's easy, or when he needs something." He gave him a tight squeeze. "You're fucking incredible, Ben. You should know that."

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[info]benjamming
2011-01-07 12:34 pm UTC (link)
Ben was conflicted when he felt Noah hug him. A part of him wanted to push the other boy away, but mostly he was thankful for the close contact. Hesitantly he moved his arms to loosely circle Noah's waist, not wanting to cling. He buried his head in Noah's shirt, willing himself to stop. This was too dramatic. He didn't need to be crying over it. But I do. I need to get it out of my system.

"I'm sorry," he mumbled weakly, his voice muffled against Noah's shoulder. "I'm sorry for being so stupid."

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[info]noahbraxton
2011-01-07 12:43 pm UTC (link)
"You're allowed to be stupid," Noah said, not pulling back at all. He'd stay there for as long as Ben needed him to. That's what friends were for. "As long as you realize that you're being stupid, and then you stop being stupid when you're done." He tipped his head against Ben's, trying to be as comforting as he could be. He half-smiled and lowered his voice. "You aren't stupid. Love is just a vicious bitch half the time."

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[info]benjamming
2011-01-07 12:50 pm UTC (link)
Continuing to stay silent, Ben took a while to calm himself down. As soon as he thought he was done and he tried to pull away, fresh thoughts and ideas would pop into his head and start him off again. It was rather pathetic and even though he knew Noah would stay for as long as Ben needed him to, that didn't stop him from feel self-conscious. But eventually he managed it, easing away and pulling the sleeves of his jacket down over his hands in order to wipe at his eyes.

Still not looking directly at Noah, Ben let out a shuddering breath. "I just wish it didn't hurt," he said plainly, knowing that his statement was something completely obvious.

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[info]noahbraxton
2011-01-07 12:59 pm UTC (link)
Noah pulled away from the hug and instead propped himself up on top of the desk right beside Ben, giving him a moment to collect himself, swinging his feet back and forth while he waited. Eventually, he glanced over and pressed a gentle hand against his back. "I know," he agreed, because even though he was absolutely positive he'd never come anywhere near a romantic sort of love, he was still human. He still had emotions. He knew how shit worked. "But the thing you have to realize is that it's bound to get better. And easier. Probably sooner than later, given how charming and attractive you are.."

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[info]benjamming
2011-01-07 01:16 pm UTC (link)
Even though he still had tears in his eyes, Ben laughed mirthlessly at the complement. "You don't have to say things to make me feel better," he stated flatly, "I don't think any amount of flattery will right now."

Taking a few deep breaths, Ben moved to rest his head lightly on Noah's shoulder. What else could he say? That sharp slap of reality to the face needed to happen at some time and now that it had, what more was there to do? Well, apart from trying to get over Blaine sodding Jackson.

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[info]noahbraxton
2011-01-07 07:31 pm UTC (link)
"I know," Noah said again, the hand on Ben's back sliding around to loosely wrap around Ben's waist. "Thought I'd try anyway." He stared at the chalkboard at the opposite side of the room and chewed on his bottom lip, wondering if what he'd said had actually gotten through to Ben this time. It certainly seemed it had. "At least you're going to New York this weekend, right? You can clear your head while you're there. And when you come back... It's not easy to get over someone, but I think you can do it."

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[info]benjamming
2011-01-07 09:34 pm UTC (link)
At the mention of New York, Ben actually smiled. It was a teary sort of half-smile, but it was a positive display of emotion none the less. He'd have two whole days of being away from Dalton (even though he'd just come back), and it would just be him and Raf. They'd already agreed to not even talk about anybody else whilst they were there, which meant that it would be two entire days without thinking of Blaine. Hopefully.

With a determined nod, Ben moved his head from Noah's shoulder and sat up straight. Turning to look at the other boy, Ben forced another watery smile. "I'll try," he said hoarsely, hoping for his own sake that he'd be able to stick to it.

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[info]noahbraxton
2011-01-07 10:13 pm UTC (link)
"And I'm always around to slap sense into you, anytime you need me. Or, you know, I can also shut the hell up and just listen to you talk. Or neither of us can talk and we can just... sit there." He offered a smile at Ben's attempt, and while he didn't like to see Ben down in the dumps like this, he was glad that he'd finally seen his point. He sat quietly for a moment longer, then let his finger curl around Ben's neck, gently craning his face towards his own. "You okay?" he asked quietly, wanting the genuine answer, not the bullshit fake kind. "Or at least, will you be?"

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[info]benjamming
2011-01-07 10:18 pm UTC (link)
Ben continued to smile slightly, allowing himself to be pulled forwards. Resting his forehead briefly against Noah's, he sighed. Would he be okay? It sounded melodramatic to ask that, but it was a legitimate question. He'd gone so long with being in love with Blaine, so how would it feel to just not be?

"I'll be alright," he whispered, not entirely sure that he believed himself. He was being honest though and that was what mattered.

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[info]noahbraxton
2011-01-07 10:39 pm UTC (link)
"Yeah, I know you will." Noah smiled encouragingly and pulled away, but not before pressing a big, friendly, obnoxious smacking kiss against the top of Ben's head. He hopped off the desk. "Come on, we better get out of here. If any teachers see us sneaking out of an empty classroom, it might look pretty suspicious."

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[info]benjamming
2011-01-07 10:51 pm UTC (link)
Giggling slightly at the kiss, Ben copied Noah and slid off the desk. Picking his bag back up and slinging it over one shoulder, he scoffed. "Like you care," he said, once again sweeping his hand across his eyes in case he'd missed a stray tear or two.

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[info]noahbraxton
2011-01-07 11:30 pm UTC (link)
"Good point. If anything, it'll just boost my reputation." Noah smirked and double-checked Ben was okay before opening the door and stepping aside to let him through first. He reached out and tweaked Ben's cheek. "Love you, Benny. Sorry I had to do it this way."

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[info]benjamming
2011-01-07 11:33 pm UTC (link)
Walking through the door, Ben shook his head. "It needed to be done," he replied, giving Noah a small smile before the pair of them headed back to the dorms.

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