InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "the Wookiee did it."

Gabriel Holden (angeloffire) wrote in dalton_rpg,
@ 2011-09-27 12:09:00

Entry tags:

! thread, @ character: gabriel holden, @ character: rose morgan, status: incomplete

In Which Gabriel "Smokes"
Who: Gabriel and someone who will interact with him (Luke? Aaron? Rose? Connie?)
What: Gabe's a little stressed. He goes for his favorite form of stress release.
Where: That old statue of what'shisface, where everyone goes for a smoke.
When: Tuesday evening, 7 PM or so.
Rating: SFW. It's Gabe. Is he ever NSFW?

There had been too much lately. Too many changes, too many memories, too many realizations. It was all too much. Gabriel had come back from dinner, looked at his stack of homework, and then simply grabbed his lighter and a little-used pack of cigarettes from his drawer before heading right back out the door.

Cigarettes weren't ideal, but it had been a wet week, so there wasn't really any dry sticks for him to burn. He needed to set something on fire, though, so this would have to do.

It wasn't hard to find the on-campus spot for smokers. The old butts in the grass around the base of the statue was evidence enough that this was a good spot. Gabriel sat on the base of the statue and lit up, though he didn't bring the cigarette to his mouth. He just sat there, his arm resting lightly across his knee, watching the paper and tobacco smolder.

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	angeloffire 2011-09-30 11:22 pm UTC (link)
	That actually brought Morgan the very first non-Scottie-induced smile out of Gabriel in years. "I spared the school as well. I don't burn things that belong to other people." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	rose_tinted 2011-09-30 11:28 pm UTC (link)
	"And there's your first mistake. People leave you alone completely when they know you're a total psycho." She swung her legs against the statue, affecting relaxation. "So you draw the line at fucking with people's stuff, then? Only with their heads?" (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	angeloffire 2011-09-30 11:33 pm UTC (link)
	"I'm just an angel at heart," Gabriel said, the smile gone from his face but the amusement still there. "Besides, being a total psycho would just prove them right. I can't have that." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	rose_tinted 2011-09-30 11:37 pm UTC (link)
	"So's Lucifer," Rose shrugged. "Know what you mean. You gotta keep an air of mystery. I never got the hang of that shit. But on the other hand when I smile it's not front page news." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	angeloffire 2011-09-30 11:41 pm UTC (link)
	Precisely. Gabriel switched his cigarette into his left hand to draw another out of his pack. "Smiling is overrated. Happiness, sadness, anger, joy... it's all bad for you, in the end." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

rose_tinted
2011-09-30 11:49 pm UTC (link)

Rose took a cigarette out of her pocket and leaned down, holding it out. "My lighter's fucked. And so are you. I tried the whole dead to the world thing, it didn't work out so great. Sometimes you gotta take the gut-shattering awful with the fucking amazing, it's called li-ving." She twiddled the cigarette in her fingers, and added, "Anyway, sooner or later shit'll get through even your armour, might's well make sure you let something decent in too."

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	angeloffire 2011-09-30 11:59 pm UTC (link)
	Gabriel didn't accept the cigarette--he didn't even see Rose's offer. He took his own cigarette, touching the unlit one to the lit one, watching as the ends smoldered together. "I do believe I've had enough of the gut-shattering awful for more than one lifetime. I'm lived-out." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	rose_tinted 2011-10-01 12:03 am UTC (link)
	"See, that's where I was this time last year. You're missing my fucking point." She withdrew the cigarette slightly huffily and chucked it over her shoulder. Wasn't like she needed it. It was just a prop, after all. "Only the bad shit even makes it through when you're like this. That's not fucking living, it's fucking torture." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

angeloffire
2011-10-01 12:10 am UTC (link)

Gabriel glanced up at the huff, frowning slightly as he saw her throw the cigarette away. That was off to his left. Had he missed something?

"Nothing makes it through for me, Morgan. That's my point. You face the world with such negativity that only negative things can penetrate your cloud of gloom and despair. I face the world... with nothing." Gabriel's face was expressionless again, matching his voice. "And therefore nothing gets in."

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rose_tinted
2011-10-01 04:15 pm UTC (link)

"Sure," Rose said flatly. "That's why you're sitting here staring at a smouldering cigarette. Stuff creeps in, you dumb shit. You won't even notice it and you will look around and realise all you got out of your entire fucking youth is hate and bitterness and loneliness. Oh, and a crappy yearbook photo that nobody's written in." She gesticulated wildly as she spoke, voice rising. "Sure, I haven't tried being emotionally dead yet. Doesn't mean I haven't seen it happen. Doesn't mean I can't guess what it's like."

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angeloffire
2011-10-01 04:22 pm UTC (link)

"Stuff doesn't creep in," Gabriel retorted. "None of the reasons I'm sitting here staring at a smoldering cigarette have anything to do with anything that's happened in the past, oh, seven years. And before that, I was trying your method of 'fuck the world' coping." Gabriel's nose wrinkled a little as he spoke the rare profanity. "So everything that crept in happened when I was trying to live like you."

A pause.

"And why would I want anyone writing in my yearbook photo?"

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	rose_tinted 2011-10-03 10:26 pm UTC (link)
	"Because shut up," Rose snapped, aware that she'd been completely babbling for the second half of her argument. "Anyway, did I say 'fuck the world' worked either? Just sayin' I've seen better ways of coping than just shutting the fuck down. Gimme the great gift of fire?" She held out another cigarette, on the other side this time. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	angeloffire 2011-10-03 10:49 pm UTC (link)
	"Between the two of us, I do seem to be coping better," Gabriel pointed out. He switched both cigarettes into one hand to pull out his lighter, obliging the request. He actually saw the held-out cigarette this time, so he would have noticed it even without Morgan's comment. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	rose_tinted 2011-10-04 11:52 pm UTC (link)
	"Between the two of us, right now I have a better excuse," Rose said firmly, holding the lit cigarette up to her face to focus on the glowing end. "Thanks." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	angeloffire 2011-10-04 11:56 pm UTC (link)
	"I'm not entirely certain you do," Gabriel murmured under his breath, resting back against the statue's leg. He stubbed out the shorter of his cigarettes (Scottie would be upset if he burned his fingers again) and went back to focusing on the second one. "Enjoy your fire," he added, louder. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	rose_tinted 2011-10-05 11:13 pm UTC (link)
	Rose's half-smile tightened on her lips, and the bobbing fire became more engrossing than ever. "I killed the first guy I had anything real with. Only a few weeks ago. What've you got that beats that?" (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

angeloffire
2011-10-06 12:33 am UTC (link)

Amnesia coincidentally coinciding with the time I spent living under the rule of a convicted child molester...

Gabriel shrugged one shoulder. "Commonly held belief has always been that I set the fire that killed my entire family. Mother, father... other mother. Three younger siblings. Burned alive in their beds. Always thought I didn't, but..." He lifted his cigarette, giving the tip another light blow. "Turns out I can't trust any of my own memories from that time. And I do love fire..."

He hadn't even thought of that before this moment. Gabriel meant this as a throw-away, 'my life is worse,' comment, but it really was true, wasn't it? He had been focusing on his own situation, in the time after the fire, but... he barely remembered anything from the fire, or the time before it either. It was entirely possible.

For the first time in his life (that he could remember), the lit cigarette no longer calmed him. He hastily dropped it, stamping his foot over it to kill the flame. Maybe they were right about him. Maybe everyone had been right.

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rose_tinted
2011-10-06 12:47 am UTC (link)

Rose was pulled up sharp mid-self-pity. "Wow. Yeah," she whispered hoarsely. "That'd about beat mine." Forgetting herself in her shock, she took a draw on her cigarette, then swiftly took in a wheezy gasp of air and burst into a hacking n00b-smoker coughing fit, grabbing the statue's head to stop herself falling off.

"Fuck," she gasped out, gulping down air as the coughing died down. "That's fucked up, dude. There's no proof either way, I'm guessing, and it sucks ass to know even your own memories can't be trusted. Wouldn't mean anything if I said it, I know, but for what it's worth that doesn't fly with me. You're a fucked up guy but that's not your MO. And I'm guessing kiddy-you wasn't exactly a hardassed murderer either. Even less so." She stubbed out the offending cigarette on the old guy's stone head and flicked it off into the bushes.

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	angeloffire 2011-10-06 01:19 am UTC (link)
	"Kiddy-me was a lot more violent," Gabriel pointed out. "'Fuck the world' and all that." He looked up sharply as Morgan coughed, about to reach up to make sure the other student didn't fall, but he stopped himself when Morgan recovered. "What does it matter though? Mine happened ten years ago. Yours happened, what, a month ago? Both in the past." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

rose_tinted
2011-10-06 05:28 pm UTC (link)

"Yeah. And here we are right now in the present with blood on our hands and nobody to make it ok, so yeah." Fuck the cigarettes, then. She still felt a strong need to do something as a displacement activity...there was a cola-flavoured lollipop in her other pocket (sugar free, naturally). She unwrapped it with a crinkling of plastic and stuck it in her mouth. "And fucking the world ain't so dangerous," she added around it. "I never did anyone any real harm til I tried to deal with them like an actual human being."

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	angeloffire 2011-10-06 09:43 pm UTC (link)
	"I did," Gabriel said. "I do know that much. I was always getting in trouble for fighting with people." He glanced up at the crinkling, twisting around so he could see what Morgan was doing so loudly. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	rose_tinted 2011-10-07 11:55 am UTC (link)
	"Me too," Rose shrugged, chewing on the stick of her lolly. "Doesn't mean I killed anyone or hospitalised anyone. Except that one time. And that other time. And actually yeah, hospital was involved quite heavily. But that's beside the point." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	angeloffire 2011-10-07 12:03 pm UTC (link)
	Gabriel rubbed his hand over his knee, feeling antsy now without a flame to distract him. He could pull out his lighter again, but he didn't think he wanted to do that. "What is the point?" (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	rose_tinted 2011-10-07 06:45 pm UTC (link)
	She located a second lolly in the bottom of her pocket and dropped it in Gabriel's lap. "Fucked if I know. But I figure we're a hell of a lot more alike than either of us is willing to admit." (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

angeloffire
2011-10-08 12:01 am UTC (link)

As a rule, Gabriel didn't eat sweets. Still, it had been a long time, a very long time, since anyone had ever given him anything (other than Scottie, and Uncle Arthur with the car). But those didn't count. They weren't like this, a gift given for no reason, with no expectation of anything returned. Gabriel rubbed his thumb over the plastic wrapper.

"Maybe we are."

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