InsaneJournal

Tweak says, "Dude, we need the DSM here."

Philander Gentry (notsogenteel) wrote in dalton_rpg,
@ 2011-04-01 09:00:00

Entry tags:

! text, @ character: ronald martin, character: philander gentry

Who: Ron & Phil
Where: Orlando/Jonesboro
What: Ron's got a few favors to return.
When: Friday, April 1st, afternoon/morning
Rating: Should be SFW

What do you tell yourself when you worry about where you'll be in a few months?

(Post a new comment)

	Unsend ronald_e_martin 2011-04-01 04:11 pm UTC (link)
	I have no idea where I will be in a few months and it makes me panic. I am not certain I can offer much advice on this. Ron (Reply to this)

	ronald_e_martin 2011-04-01 04:12 pm UTC (link)
	I take a deep breath. Then I tell myself that I am as prepared for all the eventualities as I can be and if I am not, there is still time to make those preparations. Then I eat chocolate. What brings this up? Are you alright? Ron (Reply to this) (Thread)

notsogenteel
2011-04-01 04:16 pm UTC (link)

It's his family. They're so close to one another. I don't really know how to do that. Wouldn't it be easier for him if he found a pretty girl? I can't believe I'm worrying about this in the first place. But I love him and I'd do anything for him, even walk away. Yeah, not a good thing to think about when you're several states from home. I'm just... short of freaking out. And I don't think I could stop him if he found someone else.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	ronald_e_martin 2011-04-01 04:21 pm UTC (link)
	Chocolate. Lots and lots of chocolate. Deep breaths. Try to focus on something else the moment these thoughts appear. And you are great and Jakoby should be happy to have you and has no reason to look elsewhere. Ron PS: I know how it feels. I wish I had better advice/actual solution. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	notsogenteel 2011-04-01 04:23 pm UTC (link)
	Chocolate? Really? Well, I guess it's better than nothing. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	ronald_e_martin 2011-04-01 04:26 pm UTC (link)
	Chocolate helps with everything. It actually does, there is science behind it. I am sorry I cannot offer anything better. The moment I find a solution to this, I will let you know. Ron (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	notsogenteel 2011-04-01 04:30 pm UTC (link)
	I don't think there's any quick-fix solution. Can I just vent? You're free to do that. I can't keep it all in. I've tried that before. It's not good. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	ronald_e_martin 2011-04-01 04:31 pm UTC (link)
	If you need to talk, I am more than willing to listen. Ron (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	notsogenteel 2011-04-01 04:39 pm UTC (link)
	His dad's side of the family isn't smothering, but I don't think they can see me as Jakoby's boyfriend. It's a little awkward, and I can't tell if they're thinking that this is just a phase. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	ronald_e_martin 2011-04-01 04:53 pm UTC (link)
	Perhaps they simply need time to get used to it. You never know, they could be acting the same way were you a girl. Either way, the most important is what Jakoby thinks. Ron (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	notsogenteel 2011-04-01 04:58 pm UTC (link)
	You're right. So if it ever becomes too much for Jak, I don't know what I'll do. Maybe run away and elope? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	ronald_e_martin 2011-04-01 05:05 pm UTC (link)
	I am not certain eloping is a good idea. When people decide to get married, even with all the consequences and problems it brings, they should at least do it properly. If for nothing else than so that they know they are really certain about it. Ron (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	notsogenteel 2011-04-01 05:11 pm UTC (link)
	I was kidding. Were you kidding? If and when I do propose, it'll be in front of a million people so that he has to say 'yes'. Brilliant plan, right? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	ronald_e_martin 2011-04-01 05:15 pm UTC (link)
	I was not. Personally, being proposed to in front of million of people would cause me to have the first actual panic attack of my life... But you know better what Jake might appreciate. Ron PS: Are we not a little too young to be having a conversation about marriages and weddings? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	notsogenteel 2011-04-01 05:18 pm UTC (link)
	You forget that I'm already 19. One year of being an adult isn't that big a deal, but I've got to start thinking about these things. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	ronald_e_martin 2011-04-01 05:20 pm UTC (link)
	Nineteen, but still at high school. Personally, I refuse to even consider a marriage before I finish college. Ron (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	notsogenteel 2011-04-01 05:25 pm UTC (link)
	Don't rub it in, I know I'm stupid. That might be best. But since when do I do what's best for me? (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	ronald_e_martin 2011-04-01 05:27 pm UTC (link)
	If you think it is stupid now, it is not going to sound wiser once you actually marry him. Do not do it unless you are absolutely certain. Seriously. Divorces are a mess. Ron (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	notsogenteel 2011-04-01 05:28 pm UTC (link)
	I called myself stupid, stupid. As for marriage? To Jak? A guy can dream. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	ronald_e_martin 2011-04-01 05:31 pm UTC (link)
	I am a little too confused now but I am certain neither of us is stupid. Ron (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	notsogenteel 2011-04-01 05:35 pm UTC (link)
	No, I am quite convinced that you're stupid :P (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	ronald_e_martin 2011-04-01 05:36 pm UTC (link)
	I am rather certain the appropriate response to that is "Your face is stupid." Ron (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	notsogenteel 2011-04-01 05:38 pm UTC (link)
	Touché. But your stupid joke is stupid. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	ronald_e_martin 2011-04-01 05:43 pm UTC (link)
	It is rather simple and one might even consider it stupid. However, my above average IQ is of better use elsewhere than on trying to think of a better joke. Ron (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	notsogenteel 2011-04-01 05:51 pm UTC (link)
	Yeah, well, whatever. I got a 2190 on my SAT so whaaaaaateveeeeeer, Rooooon. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	ronald_e_martin 2011-04-01 05:53 pm UTC (link)
	Well, I think I told you you were not stupid. Therefore I do not see the point here. As for SAT, I have yet to take mine. Ron (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	notsogenteel 2011-04-01 05:59 pm UTC (link)
	Shaddup. You'll do fine. You're a million times smarter than me. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	ronald_e_martin 2011-04-01 06:02 pm UTC (link)
	I hope I will. And we shall see after SAT if that is true or not. Ron (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	notsogenteel 2011-04-01 06:08 pm UTC (link)
	I can tutor you free of charge. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	ronald_e_martin 2011-04-01 06:11 pm UTC (link)
	You are already teaching me self-defense and to drive free of charge. Ron (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	notsogenteel 2011-04-01 07:22 pm UTC (link)
	Same diff. (Reply to this) (Parent)

	notsogenteel 2011-04-01 04:25 pm UTC (link)
	I wish you didn't have to worry about this stuff. You and Evan are great together. It doesn't seem one-sided from where I'm standing. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

ronald_e_martin
2011-04-01 04:30 pm UTC (link)

It does not seem one-sided to me either, I am just worried he will wake up from that alternative reality he seems to be living in and realize I am nowhere near perfect. I got to talk to his siblings. He has normal, rather great family and life and he does not deserve me bringing my issues into it. But I am selfish and I am going to stay for as long as he will have me. Ron PS: I am sorry I am actually dumping it on you now, do not mind me please.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	notsogenteel 2011-04-01 04:34 pm UTC (link)
	Evan's not perfect either. He'll drive you crazy. He already has. But you learn to accept those flaws. Jak and I don't always get along. Shit, we're probably due for a stupid fight. And it's okay, you can tell me anything. I'm listening. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

ronald_e_martin
2011-04-01 05:02 pm UTC (link)

Believe me, I am aware he is not perfect. And I do not think I would like him half as much if he were. I love what might be considered his flaws and we usually get along really well despite our differences. What I am worried about is my collection of self-esteem and family issues. I am working on solving those that I can do something about, but... For example I am not even certain if I could actually ever introduce him to my family without it going horribly not-well. Not because he is a boy, but because they barely remember me. I really did not expect myself to write all this but since I already have and you said I could, I am not going to delete it. Thank you. Ron

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

notsogenteel
2011-04-01 05:13 pm UTC (link)

I know family is supposed to stick together, but some people just don't have that in their lives. I wouldn't worry too much about having Evan meet ypur folks if you aren't even that close to them. Thank them for giving you a life you never asked for and move on. It feels weird that I'm the one saying that, but this about you right now, and your life with your parents doesn't necessarily shape your future.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	ronald_e_martin 2011-04-01 05:23 pm UTC (link)
	I guess. That is more or less my plan. But I am realizing now that there are so many things that Evan will need to learn one day if we mean for this to be a serious relationship (and I definitely do mean it that way) and I do not even know where to start on it. Ron (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	notsogenteel 2011-04-01 05:26 pm UTC (link)
	You could always make a list. It's better than doing nothing. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	ronald_e_martin 2011-04-01 05:29 pm UTC (link)
	I make lists for everything. I am actually rather surprised I do not have a "Things to Tell Evan That May Make Him Run Away And I Am Not Certain How to Share Them" one... Ron (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	notsogenteel 2011-04-01 05:37 pm UTC (link)
	Start one. But title it: "Important Things I Should Tell Evan (Before Getting Hitched)" (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	ronald_e_martin 2011-04-01 05:41 pm UTC (link)
	That edit of the title does make it a little less panic-inducing as it gives me quite some time to work on it since I am not "getting hitched" anytime soon if ever. Ron (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	notsogenteel 2011-04-01 05:43 pm UTC (link)
	A hundred bucks says you get married before I do. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	ronald_e_martin 2011-04-01 05:45 pm UTC (link)
	I am writing it down and will attend you wedding party to demand my money even if you do not invite me (in which case I will be slightly offended). Ron (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	notsogenteel 2011-04-01 05:55 pm UTC (link)
	You'll be invited, Ron. Top priority. (Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)

	ronald_e_martin 2011-04-01 05:57 pm UTC (link)
	I am happy to hear that. Ron (Reply to this) (Parent)