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Alphonse Kirkland ([info]akirkland) wrote in [info]dalton_rpg,
@ 2011-02-07 18:04:00

Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
Entry tags:! email, @ character: (all), @ character: alphonse kirkland

From: alphonse.kirkland@dalton.edu
To: (entire faculty mailing list; sans Mr. Bennett)
Subject: mandatory dorm inspection

Dear faculty,

I've already alerted Mr. Bennett, but it appears that someone's brought alcoholic beverages on campus. If possible, I'd like to request a moment of your time to investigate the students' lockers and rooms.

Thank you,
Vice Principal Alphonse Kirkland

From: alphonse.kirkland@dalton.edu
To: (entire student mailing list)
Subject: mandatory dorm inspection

Gentlemen,

We will be conducting an inspection tomorrow at noon. I ask that you all cooperate with the faculty in this matter.

If there are questions, comments, or concerns, you may reach me via phone, e-mail, or come to my office. Thank you.

Vice Principal Alphonse Kirkland



(Post a new comment)


[info]sanslavieboheme
2011-02-08 02:20 am UTC (link)
From: harry.johnson@dalton.edu
To: alphonse.kirkland@dalton.edu
Subject: RE: mandatory dorm inspection

Oh goody, that time of year again. I'll check my floor but I sure as heck hope the freshmen haven't been boozing.

(Reply to this)


[info]austingray
2011-02-08 02:36 am UTC (link)
From: austin.gray@dalton.edu
To: alphonse.kirkland@dalton.edu
Subject: Re: Mandatory Dorm Inspection

I'll help, for sure, but you gotta remember these are just kids. Don't give them a slap on the wrist but don't like expel them if you find a beer or two. Something more than that or something more dangerous, then you've got a problem.

Also, if you really want to catch the kids, make sure that you don't send out a warning. It's gotta happen fast.

Austin

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]akirkland
2011-02-08 06:41 am UTC (link)
From: alphonse.kirkland@dalton.edu
To: austin.gray@dalton.edu
Subject: Re: mandatory dorm inspection

I won't lie. Part of me doesn't want to catch the ones responsible (no doubt a fair portion of the student body.) Consider it a genuine warning.

Alphonse

(Reply to this) (Parent)


[info]etatkins
2011-02-08 06:10 am UTC (link)
From: elliot.atkins@dalton.edu
To: alphonse.kirkland@dalton.edu
Subject: Re: Mandatory Dorm Inspection

This is only going to work if you don't say anything to the students, you know? If you give them an announcement they'll just find a way to hide everything. That's part of why prison inmates don't get advanced warning of cell check. It's random and it happens without warning. You're probably going to warn them aren't you?

Do we get to tear the rooms apart like the guards do!?

So... if we find anybody what happens?

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]akirkland
2011-02-08 06:43 am UTC (link)
From: alphonse.kirkland@dalton.edu
To: elliot.atkins@dalton.edu
Subject: Re: mandatory dorm inspection

I am well aware of the holes in this approach. Consider them intentional.

Confiscate illegal substances and send me a list of names. If there are more names than I can handle on a case-by-case basis, I'll figure something out.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]etatkins
2011-02-08 06:57 am UTC (link)
From: elliot.atkins@dalton.edu
To: alphonse.kirkland@dalton.edu
Subject: Re: Mandatory Dorm Inspection

Ah. I see.

(Reply to this) (Parent)


[info]politicalhumour
2011-02-08 11:44 am UTC (link)
From: eoin.costigan@dalton.edu
To: alphonse.kirkland@dalton.edu
Subject: Re: mandatory dorm inspection

If this is about the booze bottles, yeah, might as well come clean about that - they were mine. I went kind of nuts the other night, called a friend in town, got him to bring up a couple of bottles. Smashed one of them when in the semi-drunk state brought about by drinking a full bottle of whiskey. I was clearly drunker than I thought.

And before you say anything, yes, I am aware it's illegal, yes, I am fully aware that it was an utterly retarded thing to do, no, I do not have more booze, yes, I have now deleted his number from my phone, and no, I will not fight back unreasonably if you aim to kick me out over this. I can just really do with the entire school not hating me for this. Nobody likes a mandatory dorm inspection.

If this wasn't the cause for the uproar, please disregard this notice.

Sorry.
Eoin C.

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]politicalhumour
2011-02-08 11:45 am UTC (link)
From: eoin.costigan@dalton.edu
To: alphonse.kirkland@dalton.edu
Subject: Re: mandatory dorm inspection

...I just lost all my school jobs, didn't I?

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]akirkland
2011-02-09 02:26 am UTC (link)
From: alphonse.kirkland@dalton.edu
To: eoin.constigan@dalton.edu
Subject: Re: mandatory dorm inspection

Eoin, if I were to expel you, there'd be the matter of seeing you off home. Considering your financial situation, I don't see it as a viable option at this moment. Still, this is your second strike as far as I know. I'm afraid I'll have to suspend you for a few days. That alone would be letting you off far too easily.

I'd like you to perform community service hours on top of assisting me in my office. Also, I'll be scheduling sessions with Mr. Lee for you. Please make a serious effort to show up. We'll have a talk at the end of the month and see where this all leaves us.

One more thing, be sure to thank Austin Gray for his input. His opinion may have influenced my decision.

Thank you for your honesty,
Alphonse Kirkland

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]politicalhumour
2011-02-09 02:38 am UTC (link)
From: eoin.costigan@dalton.edu
To: alphonse.kirkland@dalton.edu
Subject: Re: mandatory dorm inspection

Okay.

Um. Is that just suspension, or is that suspension and confinement to campus? Because I know I'm not in a bargaining position, but I really can't deal with being stuck on campus right now; I missed enough shifts over the snow. And especially if I've lost my actual on-campus jobs, I really need that paycheck.

And thanks. Between this and the FREDDIE incident(s?), I know I've been kind of a pain in the posterior since you got here. I really appreciate you taking the high ground on this one. I swear to God, as soon as I slap some sense into myself and get more than two hours' sleep a night, that'd help too, I'll be a different person.

Sorry about all this,
Eoin C.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]akirkland
2011-02-09 02:49 am UTC (link)
From: alphonse.kirkland@dalton.edu
To: eoin.costigan@dalton.edu
Subject: Re: mandatory dorm inspection

Let's compromise. When are your hours? I will chauffeur you to and from work; I trust that you understand that someone has to keep an eye on you. (And if need be, I'll give payment for the work that you do for me.)

I didn't accept this position assuming that it would be easy. I'm holding you to your word.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]politicalhumour
2011-02-09 03:01 am UTC (link)
From: eoin.costigan@dalton.edu
To: alphonse.kirkland@dalton.edu
Subject: Re: mandatory dorm inspection

Fair enough.

Um... hours... I work ten to twelve on Saturdays, need to be back for hurling in the afternoon, then six to nine, then Sundays ten to five straight through.

And eight through two on a weekday.

Can we pretend I magically do that without breaking more school rules? And/or ignore that last part?
Eoin C.

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]akirkland
2011-02-09 03:12 am UTC (link)
From: alphonse.kirkland@dalton.edu
To: eoin.costigan@dalton.edu
Subject: Re: mandatory dorm inspection

The graveyard shift? This won't do. Why you've hardly any time for schoolwork.

I've two options for you: Either I pay you for your assistance or you'll allow me to help you find a better job.

Alphonse Kirkland

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]politicalhumour
2011-02-09 03:24 am UTC (link)
From: eoin.costigan@dalton.edu
To: alphonse.kirkland@dalton.edu
Subject: Re: mandatory dorm inspection

I'm not behind on schoolwork. Say what you like about me, I don't skive off homework. Or anything, if I can help it.

And it pays good money. When else am I going to find the time to work a decent weekday shift without dropping out of school?

(Reply to this) (Parent)


[info]nurse_connie
2011-02-08 09:09 pm UTC (link)
To: alphonse.kirkland@dalton.edu
From:constance.freedmont@dalton.edu
Subject: RE: mandatory dorm inspection

I'll prep the alcohol/drug/safe sex awareness programs again and we can run them this week in the gym, just let me know when. And Ezra and I can coordinate counseling sessions.

CC

(Reply to this) (Thread)


[info]akirkland
2011-02-09 02:18 am UTC (link)
From: alphonse.kirkland@dalton.edu
To: constance.freedmont@dalton.edu
Subject: Re: mandatory dorm inspection

Can you have it ready by Thursday? I appreciate the effort being made, Connie. That would be splendid.

Alphonse

(Reply to this) (Parent) (Thread)


[info]nurse_connie
2011-02-10 08:40 pm UTC (link)
To: alphonse.kirkland@dalton.edu
From:constance.freedmont@dalton.edu
Subject: RE: mandatory dorm inspection

I'll prep the alcohol/drug/safe sex awareness programs again and we can run them this week in the gym, just let me know when. And Ezra and I can coordinate counseling sessions.

CC
(Reply to this) (Thread)

(Reply to this) (Parent)


[info]nurse_connie
2011-02-10 08:44 pm UTC (link)
To: alphonse.kirkland@dalton.edu
From:constance.freedmont@dalton.edu
Subject: RE: mandatory dorm inspection

I am sorry that it was the same program I ran at the beginning of the year, we will work on
Getting new speakers and material for next time. I think, though, that I need to talk to mr gray and set up some sort of sleep workshop, half these kids are so sleep deprives it isn't even funny. Also, stress management techniques that don't damage you or your walls....

CC

(Reply to this) (Parent)




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