Title: Tales for an April Fool
Author: purplefluffycat
Characters/Pairings: Nearly-Headless Nick, Albus Dumbledore/Severus Snape, George Weasley/Angelina Johnson, Dolores Umbridge, Gilderoy Lockhart/Minerva McGonagall
Rating: NC-17
Kinks/Themes Chosen: Unfortunate incidents (the silly side of sex)
Other Warnings: Voyeurism, object insertion, unwitting swallowing of semen, self-bondage/dollification
Word Count: ~3400

Summary/Description: According to Nearly-Headless Nick, "The one boon - if there must be one - of this half-alive existence is that one gets to watch."

After several hundred years of disembodied floating, gosh he has seen a lot of things! And some of them are really quite ridiculous...

Author's Notes: I had great fun with this little collection of tales. A very belated Happy April Fool's Day to you all!

( Tales for an April Fool )

Title: Nothing You Don't Want
Author: miss_morland
Characters/Pairings: Minerva McGonagall/Rolanda Hooch (with background established McGonagall/Pomfrey)
Rating: Hard R
Kinks/Themes Chosen: Infidelity
Other Warnings: Angst, anger, jealousy
Word Count: ~ 1400
Summary/Description: Poppy's name, the pain of her own betrayal, should have sobered her. It did not.
Author's Notes: My first time posting as a "wild card"; hope I'm doing things right here. Thank you so much to Nnozomi for the speedy beta!

 

Kristmas Wish Fulfilled for: mindabbles
From: wallflowergirl

Title: An Outing
Characters/Pairings:Minerva/Poppy
Rating: R
Kinks/Themes Included: toys, sex shops
Other Warnings/Content:
Artist's Notes:I had a lot of fun doing this and learned to use a new program while I was doing it. There should be more art and fic about old people enjoying their sex life.
Art Preview:


( An Outing [NWS Art!] )

Kristmas Wish Fulfilled for: kelly_chambliss
From: A Mysterious Member

Title: One All
Characters/Pairings: Minerva McGonagall/Rufus Scrimgeour
Rating: NC-17
Kinks/Themes Included: Banter, long hair
Other Warnings/Content: Partially-clothed sex
Word Count: About 8200
Summary/Description: In a relationship based around scoring points, what can ultimately be won?

Author's Notes: Dear recipient, this fic grew from your prompt, ‘what could entice Minerva to have sex in the staff room?' It started as just the final scene shown here, but then grew (more than I expected, to be honest!) as their story just demanded to be told... As the tale contains scenes from different points in Minerva's life, she does appear in places as a young woman. I hope that you won’t mind that - as a necessary part of the plot - and that you like the fic overall. :-)

( One All )

Kristmas Wish Fulfilled for: pale_moonlite
From: A Wonderous Watcher

Title: Brooding on a Broom
Characters/Pairings: Rolanda Hooch/Minerva McGonagall
Rating: R
Kinks/Themes Included: Licking, biting, oral.
Other Warnings/Content: Talks of war and death. Angst. Femslash.
Word Count: 6,100
Summary/Description: Rolanda Hooch attempts to revive her dwindling relationship with a grieving Minerva McGonagall.
Author’s Notes: I quite enjoyed this. I’ve wanted to do something for this pairing for a while now, so I have to thank spin_84 for dragging me into this, as well as being my beta along with EmPoweredBeing (from FFn).

( Brooding on a Broom )

Title: Nobody's Business
Author: miss_morland
Characters/Pairings: Rolanda Hooch/Poppy Pomfrey (with unrequited Hooch/McGonagall and Pomfrey/McGonagall)
Rating: Hard R
Kinks/Themes Chosen: Back to school
Other Warnings: Hopeless pining
Word Count: 1414
Summary/Description: If you can't have the one you love, love the one you're with.
Author's Notes: I interpreted the theme as "back to Hogwarts" rather than as school-related per se. Hope nobody minds. Thanks so much to woldy and magnetic_pole for being great betas!

( Nobody's Business )

Title: Penance
Author: centaury_squill
Required Character and Prompt: Minerva, chocolate/candy/sweets
Characters/Pairings: Albus Dumbledore, Minerva McGonagall/Severus Snape
Rating: NC-17
Content/Warnings: D/s, whipping
Word Count: approx 1080
Summary/Description: Dumbledore prides himself on his concern for his professors' welfare.
Author's Notes: Although I went for the character/prompt option rather than basing my fic on a piece of art, I did take some inspiration from the talented akatnamedeaster's Challenge Accepted [NWS Art] (although my Minerva is fully clothed throughout).

Happy sixth birthday, daily_deviant!

( Penance )

Title: Through Nights of Storm and Darkness
Author: pale_moonlight
Pairings: Minerva McGonagall/Pomona Sprout, Minerva McGonagall/Tom Riddle
Rating: NC-17
Kinks/Themes Chosen: Ceraunophilia: arousal by thunder and lightning/storms.
Other Warnings: Mention of canon character deaths.
Word Count: ~ 4,100
Summary: Thunder and lightning has the power to reduce Minerva McGonagall to a state of absolute want. The reasons for this may lie in the past.
Author's Notes: Many thanks to my beta and brit-pick, lyras, who did an incredible job at very short notice. Thanks to her, this story is so much better. All remaining mistakes are my own.

( Through Nights of Storm and Darkness )

Kristmas Wish Fulfilled for: woldy
From: twilightsorcery

Title: Seeker
Characters/Pairings: Minerva McGonagall / Xiomara Hooch
Rating: R
Kinks/Themes Included: striptease, quidditch kink
Artist's Notes: Thanks for a great prompt! :) [Note: Characters represented are most definitely over the age of 18.]
Art Preview:


( Seeker [NWS Art] )

Kristmas Wish Fulfilled for: silvernatasha
From: ragdoll

Title: The Twelve Dates of Christmas (or A Dirty Dozen)
Characters/Pairings: Bill/Tonks, Bill/Minerva, Bill/Pansy, Bill/Rosmerta, Bill/Hermione, Bill/Parvati, Bill/Lavender, Bill/Millicent, Bill/Narcissa, Bill/Angelina, Bill/Hestia, Bill/Ginny, Bill/Helga (implied)
Rating: NC-17
Kinks/Themes Included: anal sex, blindfolding, blow jobs, bondage, corsets, cunnilingus, D/s, discipline, drug use (opium), exhibitionism, frottage, hate sex, ice/sensation play, incest fantasies, lap dancing, mutual masturbation, orgasm denial, outdoor sex, pegging, ravishment play, rimming, role-playing, spanking, tattooing (mendhi), verbal humiliation, voyeurism, wanking
Other Warnings/Content: age disparity, erotic traditional dancing, femme!dom, implied food smut, motorboating, nipple clamps (implied), smoking, student/teacher fantasy, do not operate heavy machinery or mix with alcohol
Word Count: 8100
Summary/Description: Bill Weasley is a man of many talents and many kinks. Luckily, he has a Metamorphmagus girlfriend to indulge them all.
Author's Notes: You asked for twelve kinks and/or twelve separate partners for Mr William Arthur Weasley, dear recipient, and I so have complied. Although there are definitely more than a dozen kinks herein. But definitely twelve partners. Well, technically a baker's dozen if you consider Helga's inclusion, so I suppose Bill gets to shag (or be shagged) by a virtual coven of witches. Lucky boy.

Along with your prompts, this story was inspired by "Sex (I'm a...)" by Berlin and "Kiss" by Prince.

I hope you enjoy this and that you had the kinkiest of Kristmases.

Thanks to S, K and C for all their help with betaing as well as T & R for handholding, betaing and psychotherapy. Without you, I am nothing.

Thanks to the DD mods for their patience and encouragement.

(  The Twelve Dates of Christmas (or A Dirty Dozen) )

Kristmas Wish Fulfilled for: venturous
From: akatnamedeaster

Title: Challenge Accepted
Characters/Pairings: Snape/McGonagall
Rating: NC-17
Kinks/Themes Included: Bondage, corsets, D/s
Other Warnings/Content: Implied use of riding crop [Characters represented are over the age of 18... some more so than others.]
Artist's Notes: This is not my usual fare but the pairing is one I have a soft spot for. I hope you enjoy this take on your prompt, Mystery Recipient.

( Challenge Accepted [NWS Art] )

Kristmas Wish Fulfilled for: kelly_chambliss
From: songquake

Title: Turnabout
Characters/Pairings: Sprout/McGonagall
Rating: NC-17
Kinks/Themes Included: D/s, bondage, cool magic (I hope!)
Other Warnings/Content: Compulsion Charms, erotic use of plants, genital abuse, orgasm control, Old Lady Smut!
Word Count: ~4k
Summary/Description: All work and no play makes Minerva a terribly dull gay.
Author's Notes: Mystery Recipient, I hope you enjoy this! While I wouldn't necessarily consider this a comedy piece (which I know you didn't want!), Pomona made it perfectly clear that Minerva was not to take herself too seriously. I hope the mix of sternness and tenderness balances the humour for you!

( Turnabout )

Kristmas Wish Fulfilled for: pre_raphaelite1
From: kelly_chambliss

Title:?????
Characters: Severus Snape/Narcissa Malfoy/Minerva McGonagall/Tom Riddle, Jr/Nagini
Rating: NC-17
Kinks/Themes Included: corsets, clothing!porn, kinky gadgetry, bestiality
Other Content: Steampunk!AU, fivesome, voyeurism. Prompt: "the dawn of a new age"
Word Count: ~~15,000
Summary/Description: It's 1894, the dawn of a new age, and Severus Snape, shipping clerk, wants a bit more magic in his world. But few know better than he that life is always a big question mark.
Author's Notes: Your character list really intrigued me, Mystery Member, and by the time I saw "steampunk" and "corsets," I had no question which KK prompt I was going to claim. I wanted the story to be kinky and atmospheric, but I didn't end up with exactly the kinks and atmosphere I intended when I started. Thus it's probably not as "shuddery" as you might have wished. And as you see by the word count, it's a monster of a fic. But I hope you'll enjoy it all the same.

As I wrote, I was inspired (in different ways, at different stages) by the following pieces of fanart:

Steampunk Snape (minus the goggles) by Dracosoftie
Art Nouveau Snape by Hever
Narcissa by Dvervzimu
Madam Malfoy by Herentasmeridiae
HP_Narcissa (with Nagini) by Srebrnylis
Tom Riddle by Einheitstochter
Tom Riddle (with Nagini) by Chilli Villi
Minerva McGonagall by Dorus the Walrus

Happy Kinky Holidays to all the Deviants, and ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ to the kind and patient mods.

My thanks to my ever-helpful beta are extensive and unending.

~~~~~
( ????? (Part 1) )

On to Part 2

Kristmas Wish Fulfilled for: pre_raphaelite1
From: A Miraculous Member

Title:?????
Characters: Severus Snape/Narcissa Malfoy/Minerva McGonagall/Tom Riddle, Jr/Nagini
Rating: NC-17
Kinks/Themes Included: corsets, clothing!porn, kinky gadgetry, bestiality
Other Content: Steampunk!AU, fivesome, voyeurism. Prompt: "the dawn of a new age"
Word Count: ~~15,000
Summary/Description: It's 1894, the dawn of a new age, and Severus Snape, shipping clerk, wants a bit more magic in his world. But few know better than he that life is always a big question mark.

( ????? (Part 2) )

Back to Part 1

Kristmas Wish Fulfilled for: inamac
From: purplefluffycat

Title: With Cat-Like Tread
Characters/Pairings: Severus/Minerva
Rating: R
Kinks/Themes Included: fur fetish
Other Warnings/Content: masturbation, unwitting sexual situation
Word Count: About 2600
Summary/Description: It wasn't voyeurism if she was a cat, Minerva assured herself. Everyone liked to have a cat in their room, after all...
Author's Notes: Written for the prompt, "Decorating for Christmas". Happy Kinky Kristmas, Dear Recipient - I hope you like the story :-)

( With Cat-Like Tread )

Kristmas Wish Fulfilled for: kelly_chambliss
From: thegildedmagpie

Title: Repeat Offenders
Characters/Pairings: Sprout/McGonagall/Pince with Neville watching
Rating: NC-17
Kinks/Themes Included: voyeurism, orgasm delay, corsets
Other Warnings/Content: cunnilingus, mild erotic discipline, bit of dirty talk, and a slightly violent DH-era flashback.
Word Count: 3860
Summary/Description: After DH, Neville returns to Hogwarts as Professor Sprout's assistant. In between learning to call his former teachers by their first names and cope with their odd senses of humor, he goes to return some library books and learns all he never wanted to know about the penalties for failing to renew on time.
Author's Notes: So this happened. Some of the relationships in this fic evolved completely unintentionally; it was delightful to write. I will provide the additional flashback, which features NEWT-student Minerva and an eleven-year-old Pince, on request; it was sort of a warm-up drabble but it didn't work properly in a story from Neville's POV.

( Professor Sprout said Neville should call her Pomona now ... )

Title: That Good Night
Author: kelly_chambliss
Pairings: Minerva McGonagall/Severus Snape
Rating: Hard R
Kinks/Themes Chosen: Silence
Other Warnings: none
Word Count: 2500
Summary/Description: After the war, Minerva and Severus have few words to say to each other.
Author's Notes: There's never enough Snape/McGonagall fic in the world, and I'm on a crusade to turn that sad truth into a falsehood. I hope you enjoy their night together as much as they did. Well, almost as much.

My thanks to the ever-helpful r_grayjoy for the beta.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

( That Good Night )

Title: The Good Teacher
Author: thegildedmagpie
Characters/Pairings: Minerva, Percy
Rating: R
Kinks/Themes Chosen: Pervertibles, nipple play, begging
Other Warnings: teacher/student, extremes of embarrassment
Word Count: 1790
Summary/Description: Percy is in a bit of a sexual pickle, and his Head of House seems safer than Madam Pomfrey.
Author's Notes: Inspired by this Oglaf strip and much too much cracky threading with pre_raphaelite1.

( What have your brothers been doing to you this time, then? )

Title: The Little Wizard's Book of Slutty Goosings
Authors: pre_raphaelite1 and thegildedmagpie
Characters/Pairings: Fil(ius Flitwick), (Po)Mona (Sprout), "Mr. Snap"(e), "Madam" (Pomfrey), a Professor (Slughorn), a Prefect (Weasley), a Seer (Trelawney), a Caretaker (Filch), a Headmaster (obvious), (Gilde)Roy "Hartlock," and McPuss-in-Boots (also too obvious to dignify with a parenthetical).
Rating: R
Content/Warnings: Perversion of childhood memories, bad language, watersports, voyeurism, orgies, student/teacher, rectal exams/medical fetish, dubcon, various magical creature cameos which may or may not count as bestiality, references to public sex locations, Dumbledore's pants.
Word Count: 1109 (but some of it is "poetry")
Author's Notes: We are pleased to announce our long-awaited collaboration upon the total defilement of your childhood. Er, that is ... Fred and George are pleased to announce ... yeah.

( A Little Wizard's Book of Slutty Goosings )

Title: Vital Little Sliver
Author: kelly_chambliss
Based On/Inspired By: Who Do by thegildedmagpie
Characters/Pairings: Minerva/Tom, past Minerva/Narcissa
Rating: R
Content/Warnings: genital shaving, voyeurism, moment of violence to a dog.
Word Count: 4400
Summary: After Narcissa tires of committing random acts of voodoo, she decides to let someone else play with her doll.

Author's Notes: The first version of this story was longer and not at all worth reading. But my wonderfully perceptive, honest, tactful beta (you know who you are, my friend) saved me from embarrassing myself by posting it, and she has my eternal gratitude.

This version may not be much better, I fear, but today's my posting day, so here goes. Apparently I'm just not capable of writing a Lord V who is not melodramatic and over-the-top. Snake-like megalomaniacs with fragmented souls seem to do that to me.

My dear thegildedmagpie, I'm afraid I didn't manage to recreate the atmospheric power or evocative language of your fine original, but yours was a story that stayed with me, and I wanted to see what might happen next. And to explore your comment about Minerva's "depilation fetish."

I've taken a few lines from the original story; the title comes from a thought of Minerva's: She had no choice but to conclude that she had utterly lost some vital little sliver of her sanity to this year, this hellish year.

Set during DH.

~ * ~ * ~

( Vital Little Sliver )

Title: Never Tickle a Sleeping Dragon (Without Explicit Instructions)
Author: eeyore9990
Characters/Pairings: Minerva McGonagall, Filius Flitwick, Pomona Sprout, Severus Snape, ensemble
Rating: R (for really? REALLY????)
Kinks/Themes Chosen: Sexology
Other Warnings: Misuse of Muggle Artefacts
Word Count: ~1800
Summary/Description: It's that time of year again...
Author's Notes: Deepest thanks to r_grayjoy and leela_cat for brain-help when mine stopped working.

And just because it's too damn funny, have a link to a real-life version of Pomona Sprout's lecture. (And what nearly caused this fic to be titled: There's a Fungus Among Us.)

( Never Tickle a Sleeping Dragon (Without Explicit Instructions) )

Title: Who Do
Author: thegildedmagpie
Characters/Pairings: Narcissa Malfoy/Minerva McGonagall, background Narcissa/Lucius and Lucius/Severus/Narcissa, others fantasized about
Rating: NC17
Kinks/Themes Chosen: Everything old is new: pediophilia (attraction to dolls), xenophilia (attraction to the exotic, strangers, and the unknown), handkerchief code (on this sort of meta level), tit torture, pyrophilia, thalpotentiginy (arousal by heat), tattooing, touch (eventually), humiliation, cunnilingus, genital shaving (existing), sacrifices
Other Warnings: Cross-gen teacher-student (though both are older adults), object insertion, dubcon, breathplay, D/s, piercing, and a first-time girl-on-girl experience. Also, not particularly peppy in mood.
Word Count: 4800 (cheeeesus when did I last eat)
Summary/Description: Among the weird things in the Black family attics was a little voodoo doll … and Narcissa doesn't quite know who she's using it on ...
Author's Notes: God, this is a weird pairing. Seriously. Where did this come from? Blame pre_raphaelite1. It's her fault.

( She didn't know from whence the doll came, from whom the hair. )

Kristmas Wish Fulfilled for: kelly_chambliss
From: leela_cat

Title: Witches of a Certain Age
Characters/Pairings: Minerva McGonagall/Andromeda Black
Rating: NC-17
Kinks/Themes Included: Cunnilingus
Other Warnings/Content: None
Word Count: ~1,350
Summary/Description: "I'm far too old for a young woman like you," Minerva had said when Andromeda was seventeen and Minerva in her forties. But Andromeda was about the same age as Minerva had been and had lived a full life since they'd parted. She wasn't about to let her use that excuse again.

Author's Notes: My thanks to R for the beta and the encouragement. Dear Recipient, I hope this gift puts some well-earned Kink into your Kristmas.

( Witches of a Certain Age )

Kristmas Wish Fulfilled for: thegildedmagpie
From: purplefluffycat

Title: Chromatic
Characters/Pairings: Minerva/Luna, Minerva/Tom and (very mild) Minerva/Albus.
Rating: Hard R
Kinks/Themes Included: 'Pretty lingerie', 'Cool theoretical magic'
Other Warnings/Content: Teen/teen sexuality, Descriptions of violence.
Word Count: About 3100
Summary/Description: 'Post Traumatic Magic Loss,' they had called it, and it had been getting progressively worse since the final battle, some nine months previous. Minerva finds herself increasingly overwhelmed by grief, loss, and the spectre of the future – until help arrives in an unexpected way.

Author's Notes: This story came about working with the pairings above, and the prompt, “a crazed spirit of experimentation”; 'crazed' might have grown from 'crisis', I thought. I do hope it hits the mark; Merry Kinky Kristmas!

( Chromatic )

Kristmas Wish Fulfilled for: purplefluffycat
From: inamac

Title: In The Bleak Mid-Winter
Characters/Pairings: Severus/Minerva
Rating: NC17
Kinks/Themes Included: bondage, leather, sensation play
Other Warnings/Content: biscuit dunking
Word Count: 2,200
Summary/Description: Minerva had always kept her pleasures to herself. Until Severus knocked on her door that Christmas Eve...
Author's Notes: Thanks to my prompter for asking for a fic with 'fondness between the characters' and this giving me a chance to explore asexuality in the Potterverse. And to the mods for infinite patience and extended deadlines.

( In The Bleak Mid-Winter )