Title: Pretty and Witty and Gay!, or, Squicking Fandom
Author: eeyore9990
Characters: Rubeus Hagrid/The Giant Squid
Rating: R?
Warnings: Crossdressing!Hagrid, tentacle!porn, dub/noncon, tentacle!bondage. Also, the pairing itself.
Themes/kinks chosen: I'm thinking this qualifies as "hand job", but really, there aren't any hands involved. Just tentacles.
Word Count: 2175
Summary: Hagrid has always longed for the freedom to roam out of doors while indulging his love of satins and lace. When Madame Maxime arrives from France, he finally has his chance.
Author's notes: Okay, so. I had completely intended to have the Giant Squid pleasuring itself while watching the children frolic on a hot summer day (because for all the taboos I've written, I've never written tentacle!porn, and that's just WRONG), but then accioslash suggested that she'd like to see some crossdressing!Hagrid and my brain merged the two ideas together. I would say I'm sorry, but I'm totally not. I was so gleefully inspired that I wrote this whole fic in just under two hours.

A very huge and special thank you to summerborn and kathrynthegreat for being brave enough to beta this for me.

( Pretty and Witty and Gay! )

Title: "Snot On"
Author: pre_raphaelite1
Rating: NC-17 (So very, very wrong)
Pairing: Hagrid/Fang
Warnings: rimming, bestiality, crack, Hagrid's crack, Severe Squickiness
Themes/Kinks Chosen: Fur, Fainting, Mucophagy (Someone had to do it.)
Word Count: 1330
Summary: It wasn't Flitwick who came to him one Tuesday morning when everything was quiet but for the sounds of very wet and snotty grief echoing against the Castle walls and carried over the still lake.
Author's Notes: I blame this first of all on everyone who did NOT write mucophagy this month. Secondly on zevazo who suggested the pairing after I saw that Padfoot was getting lots of action this month. And finally on red_squared who was able to guess what I was writing by my assertions I was squicking myself- and who also gave me the title. And finally, I blame all insanity and mistakes on LMoM.

( Snot On )

Feedback will be...uh... licked?

Title: "WRiNCL-on-Thyme"
Author: pre_raphaelite1
Characters: Everyone? Remus/Sirius, Tonks/Ginny, Harry/Ron/Hermione, Albus/Gellert
Rating: R
Warnings: Excessive use of parentheses, implied bestiality and public sex, disturbing visuals of Hagrid
Themes/kinks chosen: phony spoilers and Teh CRACK
Word Count: 1850
Summary: 34 35 of the 81 fake spoilers provided, plus a few more. Can you find them all? :P
Author's notes: I am so, so sorry, world. This is complete and total cracked-out crack, though there is sex in it! Briefly. Sort of. At least it's not my art? And I sporfled while writing- not sure if that bodes well or not.

( WRiNCL-on-Thyme )


Feedback gets snogged!

Artist: blackcoyote
Theme/kinks: June 2007, Brothels, Pseudozoophilia (Fantasy-play wherein a partner plays an animal).
Warnings see under the cut
Rating: NC 17 (for male genitalia), NWS!
Medium: Ball-point pen, Photoshop2 & Artrage2.
Compliant to: All books up to HBP (one unintentional DH spoiler)

( The image and the rest of the information for it contains an unintentional spoiler for DH as well as content that may be unsuitable for viewers under the legal age of majority. Please leave if this applies to you, otherwise click the cut for full header and image )

Artist: osmalic
Characters: Tom Riddle/Rubeus Hagrid
Theme: Free pairing/theme
Warnings: morning wood, hint of sex, hint of phallophilia
Rating: R, NC-17
Media: pen, photoshop
Compliant to: Chamber of Secrets

ETA: The theme of this art has been changed and erased as of Aug. 01, 2007 to comply with the unanimous decision of the community.

( This art does not contain spoilers, as far as I know, unless you haven't read Chamber of Secrets. )

Originally posted February 14, 2007.

Title: No Less a Man
Author: r_grayjoy
Characters: Sirius/Hagrid
Rating: on the lighter side of NC-17
Warnings: I might seriously change the way you view Hagrid. ;)
Kinks chosen: alternative pairing: Sirius/Hagrid
Word Count: 2515
Summary: Do you honestly need a summary? You'll either read it out of sheer curiosity, or run away in terror! Oh, fine… Seventeen-year-old Sirius is having a crisis; he's fortunate an understanding friend is on hand to help.
Author's notes: Go on. You know you want to. ::smirk::

( No Less a Man )

Author: eeyore9990
Title: Why Hermione Granger Would Not Recommend Crossing the Ocean in a Row Boat, or Size DOES Matter
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: Hermione/Hagrid
Kinks: Phallophilia
Warnings: See pairing. *g*
Words: ~3000
Disclaimer: Not mine, not making money.
A/N: Dedicated to knightmare_shad, who didn't run screaming into the night when I told her what I was writing. Also, for r_grayjoy, who did such a splendid job portraying Hagrid that I thought he definitely deserved some more lovin'.

( She was surrounded by liars. )