Daily Deviant
- there is no such thing as 'too kinky'
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24th January 2012 21:46 - FIC: "Artifacts" (Tom Riddle + various, NC-17)
Title: Artifacts
Author: [info]thegildedmagpie
Characters/Pairings: Tom Riddle, observing others
Rating: NC-17
Kinks/Themes Chosen: Everything old is new! Sex shops, magical charms, pervertibles; dark wizards, begging, cuffs, snuff films; bathing/washing, hygrophilia, tears/crying; mirrors, genital enhancement, fingering
Other Warnings: Sadistic noncon fantasies, BDSM, implications of possible incest, loving couple including third partner, Tom being voyeuristic at various gender combinations
Word Count: 2175
Summary/Description: Borgin and Burkes customers are rarely making their purchases for innocent reasons, and they provide Tom Riddle with many excellent opportunities to practice his Legilimency on unsuspecting perverts.
Author's Notes: I was doing sex shops and magical charms! That was it! Then I noticed the tears and the rest happened. Lachrymatories are a real thing. And as for who the side characters are … well, some of the surnames give clues to which canon characters they're related to (though this is '47), and I'll write a drabble of choice for whoever correctly guesses all of them.

Artifacts )
28th December 2011 12:00 - Kinky Kristmas Fic: A Toy at Christmas (Barty Crouch Jr.-as-Moody/Draco)
Kristmas Wish Fulfilled for: [info]gypsyflame
From: [info]thegildedmagpie

Title: A Toy at Christmas
Characters/Pairings: Barty Crouch Jr.-as-Moody/Draco, implied Moody/Flitwick
Rating: R
Kinks/Themes Included: Objectification
Other Warnings/Content: underage, D/s, brattiness, teacher/student, underage, risk of exposure, silk pants, touch of hatesex, underage
Word Count: 2560
Summary/Description: Nothing turns Draco on more than being treated like a sex toy. And in the guise of his fourth-year Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher, Barty Crouch is only too happy to treat him that way.
Author's Notes: My dear recipient, you did say any male character. ;p Barty took over the narration a lot more than I was intending – I'm tempted to find a month where I can do a remix from Draco's point of view like the story was actually meant to be! And Barty likes his adjectives too much.

My father is on the board of governors, you know. If he knew you were doing this ... )
8th December 2011 12:00 - Kinky Kristmas Fic: Repeat Offenders (Sprout/McGonagall/Pince + Neville)
Kristmas Wish Fulfilled for: [info]kelly_chambliss
From: [info]thegildedmagpie

Title: Repeat Offenders
Characters/Pairings: Sprout/McGonagall/Pince with Neville watching
Rating: NC-17
Kinks/Themes Included: voyeurism, orgasm delay, corsets
Other Warnings/Content: cunnilingus, mild erotic discipline, bit of dirty talk, and a slightly violent DH-era flashback.
Word Count: 3860
Summary/Description: After DH, Neville returns to Hogwarts as Professor Sprout's assistant. In between learning to call his former teachers by their first names and cope with their odd senses of humor, he goes to return some library books and learns all he never wanted to know about the penalties for failing to renew on time.
Author's Notes: So this happened. Some of the relationships in this fic evolved completely unintentionally; it was delightful to write. I will provide the additional flashback, which features NEWT-student Minerva and an eleven-year-old Pince, on request; it was sort of a warm-up drabble but it didn't work properly in a story from Neville's POV.

Professor Sprout said Neville should call her Pomona now ... )
24th September 2011 22:46 - FIC: "The Good Teacher," Minerva, Percy, R
Title: The Good Teacher
Author: [info]thegildedmagpie
Characters/Pairings: Minerva, Percy
Rating: R
Kinks/Themes Chosen: Pervertibles, nipple play, begging
Other Warnings: teacher/student, extremes of embarrassment
Word Count: 1790
Summary/Description: Percy is in a bit of a sexual pickle, and his Head of House seems safer than Madam Pomfrey.
Author's Notes: Inspired by this Oglaf strip and much too much cracky threading with [info]pre_raphaelite1.

What have your brothers been doing to you this time, then? )
24th July 2011 01:23 - FIC: "Devotions," Lucius/Severus, Death Eaters/Severus, NC-17
Title: Devotions
Author: [info]thegildedmagpie
Characters/Pairings: Lucius/Severus trying unsuccessfully to pretend it's Voldie/Severus
Rating: NC-17
Kinks/Themes Chosen: sensory deprivation, magical charms, fingering
Other Warnings: In rough order of appearance: Dubious consent and coercion (who the hell says to the Dark Lord, “no, actually I'd rather not be your sex toy tonight, let's play checkers instead”), plus bondage, depilation, public display/exhibitionism, face slapping, oral sex, bukakke, oral insertions of an orgiastic nature. Also, flagrant abuse of italics.
Word Count: 3020
Summary/Description: Severus, bound and blindfolded, proves himself to his Lord, while Lucius develops a “thing” for the newest initiate.
Author's Notes: Special thanks to [info]pre_raphaelite1, who is always designated L.A. for “lovely assistant” in my anthropology papers, and has earned her moniker again by helping me scientifically determine the exact amount of space required between the bound hands for some of Sev's plot-relevant positions to be possible.

Severus might even enjoy this if ... )
24th May 2011 23:55 - FIC: "Things Taken," Tom Riddle, R
Title: Things Taken
Author: [info]thegildedmagpie
Characters/Pairings: Tom Riddle/his left hand, Dumbledore's manic twinkling alluded to
Rating: R
Kinks/Themes Chosen: Harpaxophilia (robber ravishment)
Other Warnings: kleptophilia, humiliation (if you're a Tom), underage character wanking (chansturbation?) since Tom is all of 11, third-person stream of consciousness
Word Count: 1378
Summary/Description: “You will return these things to their owners with your apologies,” says the Professor, but Tom can see that he knows the value of things.
Author's Notes: Based on the chapter in which Dumbledore apparently uses Legilimency on an eleven-year-old child, justified by said child being pants-wettingly terrified of being locked up in a loony bin forever. *fond smile* Dumbledore's such a great guy.

It troubles his pride that the items in the cardboard box, a box that once held a chess set ... )
24th March 2011 23:15 - FIC: "The Little Wizard's Book of Slutty Goosings," various thinly veiled teachers, R
Title: The Little Wizard's Book of Slutty Goosings
Authors: [info]pre_raphaelite1 and [info]thegildedmagpie
Characters/Pairings: Fil(ius Flitwick), (Po)Mona (Sprout), "Mr. Snap"(e), "Madam" (Pomfrey), a Professor (Slughorn), a Prefect (Weasley), a Seer (Trelawney), a Caretaker (Filch), a Headmaster (obvious), (Gilde)Roy "Hartlock," and McPuss-in-Boots (also too obvious to dignify with a parenthetical).
Rating: R
Content/Warnings: Perversion of childhood memories, bad language, watersports, voyeurism, orgies, student/teacher, rectal exams/medical fetish, dubcon, various magical creature cameos which may or may not count as bestiality, references to public sex locations, Dumbledore's pants.
Word Count: 1109 (but some of it is "poetry")
Author's Notes: We are pleased to announce our long-awaited collaboration upon the total defilement of your childhood. Er, that is ... Fred and George are pleased to announce ... yeah.

A Little Wizard's Book of Slutty Goosings )
24th January 2011 23:20 - FIC: "Who Do," Narcissa/Minerva, NC-17
Title: Who Do
Author: [info]thegildedmagpie
Characters/Pairings: Narcissa Malfoy/Minerva McGonagall, background Narcissa/Lucius and Lucius/Severus/Narcissa, others fantasized about
Rating: NC17
Kinks/Themes Chosen: Everything old is new: pediophilia (attraction to dolls), xenophilia (attraction to the exotic, strangers, and the unknown), handkerchief code (on this sort of meta level), tit torture, pyrophilia, thalpotentiginy (arousal by heat), tattooing, touch (eventually), humiliation, cunnilingus, genital shaving (existing), sacrifices
Other Warnings: Cross-gen teacher-student (though both are older adults), object insertion, dubcon, breathplay, D/s, piercing, and a first-time girl-on-girl experience. Also, not particularly peppy in mood.
Word Count: 4800 (cheeeesus when did I last eat)
Summary/Description: Among the weird things in the Black family attics was a little voodoo doll … and Narcissa doesn't quite know who she's using it on ...
Author's Notes: God, this is a weird pairing. Seriously. Where did this come from? Blame [info]pre_raphaelite1. It's her fault.

She didn't know from whence the doll came, from whom the hair. )
26th December 2010 12:00 - Kinky Kristmas Fic: Notch (Severus/Sirius)
Kristmas Wish Fulfilled for: [info]akatnamedeaster
From: [info]thegildedmagpie

Title: Notch
Characters/Pairings: Severus/Sirius
Rating: R
Kinks/Themes Included: Bondage, rough sex
Other Warnings/Content: Vague implication of underage dubcon back in the day, as it were
Word Count: 2200
Summary/Description: It's Christmas Eve and someone has to clean up after the Order meeting. Eventually Severus knew he'd wind up alone with Black, but he wasn't expecting these … solicitations. Alternate title: “A Smorgasbord of Snack,” featuring a meaty entree of rough sex with an enhancing side of angst, a piquant bounty of insults, and a subtle dash of revenge.
Author's Notes: This was an immense challenge, especially with Sev and his adorable flaily incoherence of RAGE in charge of the narration, but I hope it meets your hopes!

You're a stinking prancing girly-haired halfwit bastard, you know that? )
12th December 2010 12:00 - Kinky Kristmas Fic: Lust in the Time of Sprouting (Neville/Ginny)
Kristmas Wish Fulfilled for: [info]coffee_n_cocoa
From: [info]thegildedmagpie

Title: Lust in the Time of Sprouting
Characters/Pairings: Neville/Ginny
Rating: NC-17
Kinks/Themes Included: Mild D/s, pussywhipping, bondage, mild teacher/student roleplay, nipples, object insertion, blowjobs, offscreen spanking
Other Warnings/Content: Excessive good cheer, dirty talk, hands-free masturbation, plant abuse.
Word Count: 2200
Summary/Description: A couple of years post-Hogwarts, Ginny visits Neville for a spot of fun. He and his plants have plans for her.
Author's Notes: This was a lovely hot challenge, because there's nothing in this pervy little romp that wasn't used in a canonical Herbology class. I has a proud. I hope you enjoy!

Lust in the Time of Sprouting )
24th November 2010 23:02 - FIC: "Balance of Power," Dumbledore/Tom, R
Title: Balance of Power
Author: [info]thegildedmagpie
Characters/Pairings: Dumbledore/Tom Riddle
Rating: R
Kinks/Themes Chosen: birching
Other Warnings: Spankings in an academic setting, pervy student-teacher relationship, UST, Tom is 15ish.
Word Count: 2232
Summary/Description: Sometimes Tom got in trouble at school. The punishments, arguably, hurt his Transfiguration teacher more than him.
Author's Notes: When I was about twelve I read a fic on ff.net in which Dumbles had a brief vivid fantasy of spanking Tom. This is dedicated to that mystery author and her lasting warping effect upon my sexuality.

I'm truly rather surprised at you, Tom. )
21st September 2010 18:05 - FIC: "Not for You," Some Guy/Severus Snape, NC-17
Title: Not for You
Author: [info]thegildedmagpie
Characters/Pairings: Unidentified male/Severus Snape
Rating: NC-17
Kinks/Themes Chosen: Please your mod: BDSM, desk!sex (well, lab table!sex), masturbation
Other Warnings: hot and dirty and foul-mouthed, a bit dubconny, with a facial.
Word Count: 1745
Summary/Description: Severus is over his lab table. What more does anyone need?
Author's Notes: Thanks to [info]pre_raphaelite1 for help with the ending. I rarely (i.e. never) write unidentified-character stuff, but this one, I think, needed it.

He's been sore for days. )
21st July 2010 23:45 - Fic: "The Lowest Drawer," Albus/Gellert, R
Title: The Lowest Drawer
Author: [info]thegildedmagpie
Characters/Pairings: Gellert Grindelwald/Albus Dumbledore
Rating: R
Kinks/Themes Chosen: self-flagellation (in both senses)
Other Warnings: Half-naked Dumbledore. Kinda dorky, very horny teenagers. Epistolary fic.
Word Count: 2046
Summary/Description: Albus gazes into his Pensieve and his lowermost desk drawer, and, in true Nietzchean fashion, they gaze also into him.
Author's Notes: My favorite thing about the whole of DH was the awesome academic enthusiasm of the DD-to-GG letter. This may come through a bit.

Has there ever been anyone else? )
21st May 2010 15:28 - Fic: "The Last Thing," Voldie/Bella/Cissa + Lucius, R
Title: The Last Thing
Author: [info]thegildedmagpie
Characters/Pairings: Voldemort/Bellatrix/Narcissa with Lucius voyeurism
Rating: R
Kinks/Themes Chosen: menstrual taboo
Other Warnings: red wings, noncon/dubcon, incest, threesomes, unintentional voyeurism. Depressing darkfic.
Word Count: 1608
Summary/Description: Everything Lucius has has been torn away as a punishment for his failure of the Dark Lord. She's no exception.
Author's Notes: … my own fic made me tear up. I'm such a girl.

He can't decide whether to be in a perpetual rage or just give up and learn to crawl. )
21st March 2010 20:54 - Fic: "There, Pussy", Minerva/Crookshanks, NC-17
Title: There, Pussy
Author: [info]thegildedmagpie
Based On/Inspired By: Here, Pussy by [info]eeyore9990
Characters/Pairings: Minerva/Crookshanks
Rating: NC-17
Content/Warnings: Rough sex, dubcon, biting, incidental breathplay, suggestions of the worrying anthropomorphization of a goat. Like the original, this is also not technically bestiality.
Word Count: 2100
Summary/Description: Minerva loses her subject for a lesson demonstration, and her knickers, in that order.
Author's Notes: The minute I ran across Eeyore's fic, this reversal occurred to me. Consider it a sort of a sequel. I should probably offer credit to Terry Pratchett here, since Crookshanks is heavily based on Pterry's Greebo. Finally, for the good of the community at large, a note from my research: Ovulation in female cats is not cyclical. It can only be stimulated by painful sex. Ponder that for a moment.


Ungulates are actually quite good for animal-to-human transformations. Other mammals are considerably less so. )
21st January 2010 19:28 - Fic: "Bedside Manner," Poppy Pomfrey/Lavender Brown, NC-17
Title: "Bedside Manner"
Author: [info]thegildedmagpie
Characters/Pairings: Poppy Pomfrey/Lavender Brown, small side of Ernie Macmillan
Rating: NC-17
Kinks/Themes Chosen: cat fighting, fingering, fisting, hypephilia, masturbation (hands-free/pillowhumping), medical scenes
Other Warnings: sex with an intoxicated minor, abuse of authority, dubcon
Word Count: 1260
Summary/Description: Madam Pomfrey likes her patients to sleep soundly.
Author's Notes: On that name coincidence … at one point I was thinking of using all the flower names from the books and having a Poppy/Lavender/Daphne Greengrass threesome scene with voyeur!Myrtle and a flashback to Lily Potter getting a letter from Petunia while in hospital ... but I saw reason in the end. Um. Yay? Oh, and -- yes, that is the natural remedy to increase the production of cervical mucus. Double yay?

Bedside Manner )
4th December 2009 12:00 - Kinky Kristmas Fic: A Galleon and a Good Time (Percy/Ginny)
Kristmas Wish Fulfilled for: [info]thilia
From: A Wicked Watcher: [info]thegildedmagpie

Title:A Galleon and a Good Time
Characters/Pairings: Percy/Ginny
Rating: NC-17
Kinks/Themes Included: Chan, incest, mild intoxication
Other Warnings: Smarminess. Did I mention chan? Very very chan? 1993 chan?
Word Count: 2398
Summary/Description: In which butterbeer is consumed, Christmas cards are read, and Ginny knows just how she'd like to spend a Christmas Eve with her brother.
Author's Notes: Sorry, I couldn't work in the sexy Santa outfit, but it pretty much wrote itself in one fevered sitting and will bear no costume-checks. I hope you enjoy it in any case!

Percy has just about had it with Family Traditions. )
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