Title: Suppositions on 18
Author: lore
Characters: Remus, Tonks, Severus, Sirius, Others in many combinations (mainly R/T, SS/RL, SB/SS, SB/um... and/or RL/um... - depends how you look at it)
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: blow jobs, masturbation, character death, improbable anatomy, mind fuckery, biting
Themes/kinks chosen: Faux spoilers month - Potpourri! 3 Faux spoilers listed within for your pleasure.
Word Count: ~1000
Summary: Three vignettes with varying degrees of seriousness. Also, Sirius, Remus, Tonks and Severus get laid.
Author's notes: With thanks to my late-nite beta queen, innerslytherin!


Tonks isn't really in love with Remus. Her odd behavior was all due to being Imperiused by a Death Eater.

Remus' cock hung limp and forgotten between his legs even as Tonks writhed beneath him, howling as if he were skewering her to the bed with 18 inches and all of his werewolf strength.

"Oh yeah, baby, so good..." Her hand snuck down between her legs and two fingers were inside her before Remus even realised what she was doing. "So big-"

Letting her continue without him - "Ooo, there, Remus, right there!" - he slid off the bed with a gusty sigh. Every time Tonks coerced him into the bedroom, she pulled this act, and Remus watched impassively, becoming more convinced of the inevitable conclusion.

"I must be completely gay," he mused as he tucked his still flaccid cock back into his pants even as Tonks cried out his name, coming with fingers stuffed inside her, front and back.

"About damn time," Severus said as he passed his hand over his scrying pool, the water rippling away the scene. Tonks was satisfied, Remus confused but content to maintain the status quo, and Severus assured of his lover's safety by an Auror's side.

*****
Sirius didn't die. He actually switched bodies with Remus.

The battle in the Department of Mysteries was happening so fast - too fast for Sirius to properly follow. He'd only meant to switch bodies with Remus for a second, their clever childhood spell perfect for gaining a wider perspective of the battlefield. Any advantage over Bellatrix would be worth the risk, or so the Animagus thought.

Remus' sudden disorientation left him vulnerable and Sirius watched his own body sail backward through the Veil, trapping him in his best friend's form. In his confusion, Sirius only barely reached Harry in time to keep him from leaping in after him. Yet he stopped short of telling the boy the truth that night.

It was an epic opportunity. Not only would Sirius be able to leave behind life as a fugitive, but he also had control of one of the most magnificent cocks ever to grace the human body. Remus had a foot and half if he had an inch, but had never properly, in Sirius' opinion, fed the real monster in his pants.

As Sirius familiarised himself with Remus' body, both hands gliding up and down that formidable length, hips and legs pushing up eagerly, all the blood leaving his head, he knew he'd never be able to go back to his own life. Cocksure and half-crazed by Grimmauld Place, Sirius knew few people trusted him and even fewer would consider giving him a shag. As Remus - gentle, world-weary, friendly Remus - Sirius could finally do some good (for himself) with the body he had accidentally claimed. After he cleaned up the bucket of come that thought had inspired, Sirius put together a mask of tragedy, trying to remember that he had just lost his best friend - new, hung body to play with or not.

Oh, the advantages he took in the name of Remus' grief! Harry's little bushy-haired friend's virginity, offered up so sweetly to her mourning former professor. Fred and George Weasley - "Last of the map-makers", they had whispered as they sandwiched him between them. Finally Tonks, his own forbidden first-cousin, able to twist her body to any deviancy he could imagine. And after 12 years in Azkaban, Sirius could imagine quite a bit.

Monthly transformations were a small price to pay, and Sirius even had a few months to rankle Snivellus with only a few well-placed "thank-yous" and "Severuses" before the man betrayed them. He didn't fail to miss Snape's faint colour whenever he was near, and turned antagonization into flirtation, just to see how Remus' soft, fluttering eyes could force the dour man to swallow as if there were no water left in the world. He went so far as to let Snape's snaggled teeth near his cock, and the man surprised him by deep throating like a Christmas goose. Sirius pitied Remus for the power the kind-hearted werewolf never knew he had.

Once he got Tonks up the duff, Sirius imitated Remus' angst so he could have some space - to do the twins again, and Charlie in Romania, Hestia of the remarkably tight arse, and Luna, who saw right through him to the Sirius inside and sent him running back to Tonks as fast as his broom could carry him.

When Sirius died, he wasn't surprised, and he had far less regrets than he'd had before the Department of Mysteries. And the smack Tonks gave him on the other side didn't hurt at all.

*****
Snape is really a half vampire, aka a Dhampir or Zamphir

It felt like Severus' fangs were 18 inches into his neck, and Remus' nude body convulsed in the glorious white of the morning sun. His cock grew fat even as his skin paled, and Severus reached down to stroke him, drops of blood escaping from the seal of cool lips sucking hungrily on Remus' neck.

He couldn't breathe, the pressure building, fire spreading throughout his veins and then centered on the one touch he could still feel, icy fingers flying over his steel-hard cock. With his free hand, Severus sliced into his own arm and extracted his teeth from Remus, pressing the cut to Remus' oxygen-starved lips. When the man began to breathe again, the deed was done. Rich red fluid was pulled deep into Remus' throat as he came, convulsing and gasping for air against the bone white of Severus' slit skin, his own blood filtered back to him through the half-vampire's body. One curse over-powering the other.

Severus licked his fingers, licked the crimson stain from Remus' mouth, and knelt over the dazed man, his cock resting against Remus' lips. As Remus suckled him, slow at first, with little wet laps until he could pull Severus in smoothly, Severus memorized the way the sunlight burnished Remus' skin bronze and hair gold. He traced every line of Remus' face, lit now with joy and love instead of the painful ecstasy Severus had caused him moments ago, and only closed his eyes when his body throbbed its release.

That night, Remus saw the sun set for the last time, but the full moon was bright enough to catch the possessive glint in Severus' fathomless eyes. He would never be banished from his Dhampir's side.

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love, lore