Kristmas Wish Fulfilled for: tjs_whatnotFrom: writcraftTitle:
Moonbeam, in the Palm of his HandCharacters/Pairings:
Severus Snape/Remus Lupin, non-explicit background Harry Potter/Draco MalfoyRating:
Wanking, blow jobs, hand jobs, biting, wolfish sense of smellOther Warnings:
Post-war AU in which Remus and Severus are alive and well, teaching at Hogwarts and Remus/Tonks was never a thing, anal fingering, references to switchingWord Count:
With the memory of an encounter in the distant past still all too fresh on his mind, Remus goes outside to watch the moon and finds himself in the same spot once more, with Severus Snape by his side.Author's Notes:
I’m afraid I’m not sure I made terribly good use of your prompt but I did my best to include a number of your preferences regarding kink and mood, so I hope you enjoy your gift! Thank you to the mods for being incredibly patient with me. Happy New Year!
The Hogwarts night sky is soft with clouds which cover the stars and turn silver in the light from the moon. Remus looks up and edges back onto his elbows, breathing in the icy air and letting out a huff of breath which forms cloud-like patterns in front of him. Not long, now. Just a few weeks and he’ll be confined to the Shrieking Shack with his threadbare blankets and the taste of Wolfsbane rich and unnatural on his tongue. His skin itches and the whisper of the wind carries with it a desolate hoot from a nearby owl. Remus shivers. He believes in confronting his fears. He does this, when he has time. He sits outside on the cold ground and watches the way the clouds pass over the moon, wondering when his life became this strange, complicated thing.
He thinks back to a time when he was so carefree. Even with everything, he was surrounded by the warmth of James, Sirius and Peter. All gone, now. Harry’s grown up and shocking the world by emerging from bars with kiss-bitten lips, a healthy flush in his cheeks and a haughty looking Draco Malfoy pressed close to his side. Remus snorts. Sirius would have a fit, if he knew. They’d have probably set up home somewhere together and had the Malfoy-Potters over for Christmas so Sirius could put Veritaserum in Malfoy’s toffee vodka and find out his intentions. Remus laughs at the thought, winking up at the star which shines the brightest of all.
“Here’s to you, old dog.” He runs a hand through his hair and breathes in the peaceful surroundings, a wave of contentment washing over him and relaxing the dull burn which never quite settles beneath his skin. It’s quiet, still and-
“I might have known I’d find you here.” The peace shatters and Remus bristles, irritated already and oddly flustered.
“Why did you come here, then?” Remus looks up and Snape’s staring down at him, looking down his hooked nose with unblinking eyes. His hair is lank and greasy, his robes fastidiously buttoned and an unpleasant scowl twists his features.
“I was doing my usual nightly patrol, looking for recalcitrant Gryffindors.” Snape sniffs. “It appears I found one.”
Remus huffs and stands, brushing the damp and dirt from his robes. “I’m staff, not a student to be watched over.”
“That’s a matter of opinion.” Snape glares at Remus. “Shouldn’t you be locked up somewhere, howling at the moon?”
Remus grits his teeth and tries not to punch Snape in the nose. “Not for another fortnight, as you well know.”
Snape waves his hand dismissively as if he couldn’t care less. His face is pinched and drawn in the watery moonlight, cheekbones accentuated by the night’s shadows. “You received the Wolfsbane?”
Remus presses his lips into a thin line. “Yeah. Thanks for letting me know your hand might have slipped when you were brewing.”
“It takes a great deal of concentration to brew Wolfsbane.” Snape’s eyes glitter strangely. “There is a thin line between remedy and poison.”
Remus rolls his eyes. “Well, you haven’t poisoned me yet and you’ve had ample opportunity.”
“Give me another month in your company and then we’ll see,” Snape mutters. He doesn’t move away from Remus, despite his words. He stays standing there as if he’s got nothing better to do than exchange insults with Remus. Perhaps he doesn’t.
Remus has heard the rumours and he knows Snape leads an isolated existence. Because Snape sees Malfoy from time to time Remus hears things from Harry by default, which always make him feel strange as if he’s intruding somewhere he shouldn’t. His stomach twists uncomfortably at some of the stories and he thinks of the way Snape used to look as a boy with his expression small and fierce, his cheeks flushed with anger. Now when he’s not at Hogwarts he lives above a rickety old shop tucked away in Knockturn which rarely sees visitors and which opens only intermittently. Last time Remus ventured there, he found the windows thick with dust and grime and a few stray potions ingredients dotted on the shelves. It made an odd ache curl in his chest, gripping tightly until it became difficult to swallow. Some kids threw rotten egg hexes at his shop last week. They think he sleeps in a coffin and has a shrine to Voldemort or something. If only they knew. I wish he’d let me get the Ministry to fix things. Just one interview, that’s all it would take. When I asked he told me to naff off. ‘I don’t want your assistance, Potter! If I get so much as a whiff of you interfering in my business, I’ll make sure you’re vomiting slugs for a month.’
Remus’ lips twitch as he remembers Harry’s impression of Snape, studying him and letting the silence stretch between them.
“We came here once before. Do you remember?”
Even in the half-light the pink spots blooming in Snape’s cheeks don’t go unnoticed. He steps towards Remus with a snarl. “We agreed never to speak of that again.”
“Was it so horrible?” Remus shrugs, stuffing his hands in his pockets and rocking back on his heels. “I imagine it probably was, contaminating yourself with someone who isn’t fully human. Particularly with all those Death Eater ideals of yours.”
Snape’s lips purse into a thin line and he turns his eyes heavenward. “You imagine I
was the one repulsed by you
? When your cohorts took great pains to remind me at every opportunity how I appeared to them?”
The sadness claws at Remus and the momentary contentment leaves him entirely. The feeling he gets when Harry talks about Snape returns and he remembers pressing his nose against the little shop window, searching for signs of life. It settles in his stomach, heavy and uncomfortable.
“I’m sorry for that. It’s not enough, I know. I’m sorry I never told them to stop.”
“Well it’s a bit late now.” Snape adjusts the collar of his robes and he looks away from Remus, staring out into the night. He lets out a harsh laugh, sharp at the edges. “Imagine being a half-blood Death Eater and
a queer. The seventies wasn’t exactly a time for tolerance.”
“No.” Remus wrinkles his nose and looks down. “I never told them. I didn’t tell anyone until years later.”
“Let me guess, you finally mustered up the courage to tell Black and you made plans to live together in bliss?”
Remus snorts. “Hardly. Padfoot was never interested in me, no more than I was in him. If it was ever going to be another wizard, it could only have been James. He never got over losing him, not that he ever really had him in that way.”
“Ah.” Snape’s eyes are dark pools and he fixes them on Remus, staring at him intently. “So I was your consolation prize? A fumble against the castle walls before you went back into your closet and pined after Black for the next god knows how many years.”
“Not exactly.” The itch beneath Remus’ skin intensifies and he shifts closer to Severus, aware they are now occupying one another’s space. “I wanted to do it again, you know.”
Snape’s eyes widen momentarily before narrowing again. “Of course you did. You were a horny teenager dealing with lycanthropy and the urges of the wolf around the full moon. You would have had anyone.”
“I didn’t have anyone.” Remus shakes his head, the pull towards Snape stronger than ever. He’s reminded of the way Snape’s scent would catch on his nostrils and the way Snape’s kisses tasted exactly right. Not that they kissed much. It was more a rough fumble, snarls and bites until they both held each other in shaking arms their faces taut with shock and fear. He’s never been able to shake the need for cinnamon soaked kisses or the way the approach to the moon might leave him wandering by the dungeons, breathing in the lingering scent of potions in the air. “I didn’t want anyone else, then.”
Snape’s eyes continue to bore into Remus, but even as he stares him down he moves a little closer. “You didn’t want me, either.”
Remus lets out a low, humourless laugh which sounds almost breathless. “Beg to differ.”
“You…” Snape lets out a low growl and then he closes the distance between them. The shock of it sends Remus’ heart jumping and without questioning the madness of the moment, he winds his arms around Severus and urges him closer. The kisses are more practiced now, but still just as fierce and desperate. The scent of Snape floods through his body and he finally feels that connection which had almost been lost to dreams and moments of his own hand on his aching cock, whispering Snape’s name as he came to completion. It’s almost too much being this close to Snape. It’s heady and unreal, making Remus’ head spin. They stumble away from prying eyes into the shadows and before Remus knows it, he’s pressed firmly against the solid wall of the castle.
“Wait, wait…” Remus’ voice is rough and ragged and he pulls back, nosing at Snape’s neck largely so he can breathe in his delicious scent again. Snape’s hand pushes between them to the hard bulge between Remus’ legs, rubbing his knuckles against it in a maddening fashion before he withdraws. His face takes on a look of uncharacteristic uncertainty which he seems keen to try to mask with an angry scowl.
“Yes?” Snape’s voice is cool, but not as smooth as usual.
“There’s something…” Remus pauses and then he breathes in Snape’s scent again. It’s oddly calming and arousing all at the same time. “There’s so much you don’t know about me. Let’s not do this and leave it another god knows how many years before we do it again. I’m too old for that. Too tired
Snape arches his eyebrow, contemplating Remus. “What are you asking me for?”
“Nothing. Everything. I don’t know.” Remus shrugs. He’s not even close to Snape. Not really. They sit by one another in the Great Hall, bickering over how much sugar Remus has in his coffee or how Snape’s taken another twenty points away from Gryffindor for some ludicrous reason of his own. He’s never been inside that little shop of Snape’s and he knows nothing about Snape’s life that he doesn’t get from Harry. Snape doesn’t know Remus, either. He doesn’t know how he sometimes wanders around the dungeons or how his scent makes Remus’ dull sense of obligation to keep living spark and tingle until it becomes a desperate, hopeful need. He doesn’t know about the nights in the Shack when Remus curls up on the filthy floor and prays for another full moon to pass as quickly as it can.
“Tell me.” Surprisingly low and quiet, Snape rubs his thumb along Remus’ cheek and watches him. His eyes are still dark and intense, his expression carefully neutral.
“It’s more than just this. More than getting one another off because we’re lonely and it’s nearly the full moon.” Remus pauses, hating the rough edge to his voice. “Isn’t it?”
Snape nods, almost imperceptibly. He leans in and captures Remus’ lips in another searching kiss which leaves them both breathless, before murmuring against his lips. “I might have known where you would be. I also have wards in the dungeons. To alert me to students out of bed. That, and a force of habit from a long time ago.”
Remus shivers because he knows all about those. Heat floods his cheeks as he thinks about the nights he spent wandering – and pausing by Snape’s quarters – imagining nobody would see him. He pulls back from Snape and pushes his hands into his pockets again, catching his breath. “We should move. Anyone might see us.”
Snape searches Remus’ face. “Very well. My quarters?”
“Yes.” A pleasant rush of pleasure slides through Remus’ veins, warming him from head to toe. “Your quarters.”
Snape’s lips twitch. “You know the way, I believe?”
Remus glares at him. “There’s no need to sound so smug about it.”
They make their way into the castle and the moon disappears behind the clouds.*
It’s rushed and urgent, as soon as the door closes behind them. Severus smells infernally good and Remus is still on edge and needs something
after his earlier stint outside. They tear at one another’s clothes and fall into bed together, hands everywhere and their breath coming in ragged puffs and pants.
“Christ, you smell good.” Remus finds himself rolled on his back and he groans, arching up towards Severus who uses surprisingly talented to fingers to dance over his body in a way that makes Remus’ skin tingle and his whole body hot. He bites down on Severus’ shoulder, hauling him as close as he can and following the soft bite with a number of fierce kisses which pave a way along Severus’ collarbone and up to his neck. The skin there is mottled from Nagini’s bite and Remus tongues over it, relishing the way Severus’ pulse jumps beneath his tongue. It’s so good it’s almost unbearable. Wave after wave of restless, pent up need crashes over him. It’s like he’s been waiting for this. He hasn’t had much intimacy with people, always too scared to let them get too close. Severus, he somehow knows on instinct, can handle himself. Remus sucks a dark bruise on an unblemished part of Severus’ neck and it draws a guttural moan from Severus’ parted lips.
Severus moves down Remus’ body, licking and biting at the skin and teasing Remus’ nipples with his teeth. He knows what he’s doing. However isolated he’s been, Severus has done this plenty of times before. His touch is deft and sure and his kisses dizzying. He grips Remus’ hand, pinning it to the bed and then he tongues beneath the hard line of Remus’ cock, murmuring a curse. Then his lips are on Remus. His lips stretch wide and his hot, slick mouth takes Remus down, down, down.
“Fuck!” Remus shoves his hand into Severus’ hair and keeps him in place for a moment, before he finds his hands both pinned and Severus sucks him until his whole body shakes. He’s so close to coming already. He’s gone from feeling tired and restless to feeling like he’s a horny teenager again, fumbling with an awkward hand job against the cool stone of the castle walls. Severus looks up, his eyes dark and intense and he watches Remus as he sucks him. The only sound in the room is the jagged puffs of air leaving Remus’ mouth as his throat constricts. He wants Severus. He wants
him. He wants to pin him down and fuck him until he trembles with desire, his body slick with perspiration. He wants to be
fucked which is something part of him has always railed against. He’s not ashamed of it. Of course he’s not. The thought always appealed to him in those dark moments behind the curtains of his bed. It’s just he’s never been able to let go of the animal within him which seems to fight and claw its way out when Remus lets himself really lose his head. Now, it’s like something inside him snaps and he stretches himself out, letting his legs part in a silent invitation. Severus pulls off him for a moment and the air in the room is cool against Remus’ slick cock.
Severus makes his way up Remus’ body, his breath hot and damp against Remus’ ear. “I was thinking maybe…my fingers?”
Remus would almost be embarrassed by the whine of desire which leaves his lips, but he’s too turned on to care. He nods, clearing his throat and watching as Severus murmurs a spell and moves down Remus’ body. Then his fingers are slick and cool against Remus, pushing inside and making Remus moan, low in his throat.
“Hmm.” Severus hums in agreement and works two fingers deep into Remus. Then he moves over Remus and takes his aching prick back into his sinfully warm, tight mouth. He slides over Remus and fingers him slowly until he’s right on the brink. With a gulp, Remus twists his hand in Severus’ hair and feels Severus nod slowly, before moving all the way down over Remus’ cock again until he pulses and pushes up into Severus’ throat. His voice shakes when he whispers Severus’ name, his legs already feeling loose and the maddening itch between his skin now just dull and barely there at all. Severus slides up his body and kisses him and Remus can feel Severus working his hand over himself, his breath coming in rough pants.
“No you don’t.” Aware of his manners, Remus flashes Severus a smile. He bats his hand away and then moves down Severus’ body. The smell is clean and soapy but beneath it there’s a scent of Severus and sex
which Remus seems so finely attuned to. It’s all he can do not to just breathe Severus in but as his mouth waters and he sees Severus contemplating him with dark eyes, that need is overtaken by a desire to taste. He presses down over Severus and he’s surprised by the shudder of delight that runs through him. He can smell and taste Severus more strongly than ever. He can almost hear the thud, thud
of Severus’ heart in his chest and he wants to lick away the clean soapiness and just get to the scent that’s so distinctive and human. The skin is warm and soft on his tongue and Severus’ prick is hard and long, sliding into Remus’ mouth. Severus slides his hand into Remus’ hair and that too makes his body tense with pleasure. It’s like long fingers through his fur, soothing him. Severus is so cool, his fingers soothing against Remus’ hot scalp. They’re long and sure and Severus seems to know exactly what Remus needs, tugging on his hair and holding him down, taking control of the movements until Remus is putty in his hands. It’s not long before Severus murmurs Lupin
under his breath and then Remus’ mouth fills with hot, bitter saltiness. It makes something fierce and hot howl in his chest and he tastes every last bit of Severus before he’s pulled up into a slow, deep kiss.
He presses close, listening to the beat, beat
of Severus’ heart. Before he can say much more, Remus finds himself lulled into the best sleep he’s had in a long time.*
When he wakes, Remus is hot and the itch beneath his skin has returned. His cock is hard and aching and his nostrils full with the delicious scent of Severus, who’s snoring softly beside him. With a groan, Remus winces and edges away a little before slipping his hand down his body. With a low sigh he slides his hand over his cock, his eyes fluttering closed. Everything is so warm and sensitive. His skin tingles with Severus’ proximity and he wonders if this is what heat would feel like. There’s a deep, gnawing pleasure which unfurls in his belly and his heart hammers in his chest. He can’t get enough. He wants to wake Severus and ask him for the filthiest things. He wants to fuck and taste Severus’ skin until they’re both sore and exhausted. The desperation and need runs through his veins as he strokes himself, trying not to make any noise as his breath leaves him in slow pants.
“It’s rather rude.”
“W-what?” Remus stills his hand, biting back a groan. Severus is so close, his voice a low purr in Remus’ ear. It sends shivers of pleasure through his body. “What’s rude?”
“Coming into my bed and then pleasuring yourself without asking if I want to join in. If I want to…” Severus runs his tongue distractingly over the shell of Remus’ ear. “If I want to taste
“Oh! Severus, please…” Remus bites his bottom lip and feels slim, cool fingers wrap around his own. It’s so good. So, so good but still not enough. He wants more. He needs Severus to touch him all over and to make the burning go away. He cries out when Severus pushes slick fingers inside him again, the movement helped by a whispered spell. He jerks up, and tugs his cock a little harder as Severus fingers him slowly, mouthing a line along the column of Remus’ throat.
“Yes?” Severus sounds so good, when he’s turned on. He sounds so in control of things. Remus wants to watch him lose control one day. He wants to watch Severus slide inside him and see his face when he comes. He opens his eyes and whispers something which catches on his throat, maybe Severus’ name.
“That’s it,” Severus murmurs. He pulls back and then studies Remus as he uses his fingers to bring Remus to the edge until Remus comes with a shout all over his own fist. He reaches for Severus and their lips press together in a messy, urgent kiss.
Severus is quiet for a moment, rolling onto his back and watching the ceiling.
“Okay?” Remus props himself on his elbow, tracing his fingers down the scarred lines on Severus’ chest. “Do you want something?”
“Not yet.” Severus catches Remus’ hand and brushes it against his lips. He’s relaxed, in a way Remus has never seen before. His usual scowl is replaced by a reluctant smile which tugs at the corners of his lips. When he turns to Remus, his eyes are fire and warmth. A swell in Remus’ chest and the unsteady flutter of his heart makes him wonder if perhaps it’s not just him that needs this. Perhaps they both do, in their own way. He hopes he’s right about that. Now he’s had this night with Severus he can’t imagine not making it a regular thing. Part of him wants to curl up in the sheets and never leave.
“What are you thinking?” Remus contemplates Severus.
“I thought I might accompany you to the Shack this month. If you wish.” Pink spots bloom on Severus’ cheeks and he doesn’t quite meet Remus’ gaze.
A flutter of excitement travels through Remus. “Why? I’ll be asleep for most of it, you know that.”
“But not all. The transformation is difficult. Wolfsbane has no healing powers where that’s concerned.”
“No.” Something protective and warm clutches Remus’ heart. “Can I help you clean your shop? In return?”
Severus snorts. He gives Remus a look. “Potter has been telling you of my tragic existence, I imagine? Draco has been most concerned.”
“The shop looks unappealing because I want it to be. I have a full time job here, I have no need to earn money selling trinkets and newts eyes in Knockturn. The Ministry pays for my rent and the shop is rather comfortable, inside. Kingsley asked me to keep an eye on some illegal potions activity the Aurors picked up on after the war. They believe people might be more predisposed to come to me, if they believe the rumours that I never quite switched sides. That
is why Potter can’t go to the press.” Severus rolls his eyes. “It appears I am destined to continue being a spy of one sort or another, despite the demise of the Dark Lord.”
“Why don’t you tell them?” Remus huffs with laughter, because of course. He might have known. “Harry and Draco, I mean. They worry about you. Harry’s been quite perplexed.”
Severus’ lips twitch into a half smile. “Potter is a twit and Draco’s even worse these days. If I have to hear one more
comment about the way Slytherin green brings out Potter’s eyes I shall be forced to ban them both from my presence. They keep their nauseating tendency to flutter their eyelashes at one another mercifully out of my way for the most part, largely because they believe I am desperately lonely and that witnessing their happiness might cause me to die of a broken heart as opposed to inducing a mild case of indigestion.”
Remus laughs out loud now. Again, he should have known. Snape always was a devious bastard. It’s part of his charm. “You’ll tell them at some point?”
“Of course.” Severus reaches for Remus. “In my own time. Now, I believe you asked me if I would like something?”
“Yes.” A pleasant shiver passes through Remus’ spine. He edges close to Severus. “What would you like?”
“To fuck you, for a start. Then we can sleep and perhaps you would like to return the favour?” Severus gives Remus a smirk. “Acceptable?”
Remus can feel the smile spread across his face as arousal tugs in his belly. “More than.”
They tumble back onto the bed and kiss, as the moonbeams cast their silvery glow on the room.~Fin~